Wizards of Waverly Place (season 1)

21 Episodes by October 12, 2007 - August 31, 2008 Episode 1.Crazy 10 Minutes Sale Justin: Edgebonoutoosis! [He clones the rabbit] Jerry: Good! Thank you Justin! That is how you execute the duplication spell properly. Real rabbit, duplica... duplicate rabbit real rab.. It's... ANYWAYS, there's two now! Max: What's the big deal? They're rabbits. Wait 5 minutes and they'll duplicate by themselves. Gigi: Bonjour Alex. Bonjour Alex's friend. Harper: Nice shoes! [Alex gives Harper a look] Harper: I mean.. Pfft! I don't care about you or your shoes! Gigi: Yeah. I've had these shoes for about a week. Oh, I mean I'd give them to you, but I'm already donating them to :another charity. Alex: No! You should keep them. They go well with your eyebrow. Gigi: Well, at least I don't have man-hands. How do you get those meat-stubs through your sleeves? Harper: And what happened to you two? Pick your noses so hard they fell off? Gigi: They got nose jobs. Gigi's Copycat Crew: When they heal, they'll look exactly like Gigi's! Alex: [sarcasm] When's Gigi's gonna heal!? Alex: So what you are saying is that getting back at Gigi was really hurting myself? Jerry: No, but I like that better. Alex: Well, since I figured that one out, I should pick my own punishment? Jerry: No. Why don't you take my punishment, and duplicate it? You're grounded for 1 week. Alex: Does that mean 2 weeks?! Jerry: Oh, now it's four. I love this game! Episode 2.First Kiss Alex: You know a lot of stuff about stuff people don't care about, which is great. But I know relationships. I know how girls think! Justin: So do I! They're right brained dominant and they have a slightly larger hyper-tholimus! Alex: There you go again, knowing stuff people don't care about. Justin: You may find this hard to believe, but...I've never kissed a girl before. Alex: [smugly] I find it hard to believe that you think I'd find that hard to believe. Alex: Alright, this is what we're gonna do. First of all, take out five dollars. Alex: I need $5 dollars. Alex: Second, tomorrow when you walk her to school, take her to by that old scary abandon house on the corner. Justin: Right, cause she'll think I'm brave. Alex: No, you'll get scared and she'll comfort you, and that's when you plant one on her. Justin: Ok, that's a great idea. Alex: Thanks, you have five ones for this five? Justin: Umm... [takes out another 5 dollars] Alex: Great, cause my five was lonely Max: What's Deja Vu? Jerry: It's when you feel like something happened before. Alex: For example, dad you have five dollars? Jerry: umm.. Why? Alex: Cause I need five dollars.. Deja Vu, huh Justin? Justin: So Alex, what was your first kiss like? Alex: You know, it was in this place...with this guy...and it was very romantic. Over Christmas Vacation. Max: We went to Grandma's over Christmas Vacation. Justin: Wait a minute! You haven't kissed a guy yet! [smugly] I so have this over you now! Alex: No you don't! Justin: I know so when I go to school tomorrow and tell everyone you've never kissed anyone, no one'll care. Alex: Hey Justin! [Justin looks over at Alex. Alex grabs a random boy and kisses him.] Alex: Now you've got nothing over me! Episode 3.I Almost Drowned in a Chocolate Fountain Justin: I'm gonna get even! Alex: Hah-yeah. Okay. That'll never happen. Remember the time you wanted to get "even with me"? I got the bigger bedroom and you got what? Justin: [he says embarrased] Shot-gun on that one trip to the outlet mall.. Alex: Exactly, some things never change! Alex: Oh! Some chocolate! Oh wait, that's not a straw! Max: We didn't play paintball! [Theresa opens the curtains and the windows are covered with bright colored splotches] Justin: ...What are pigeons eating now a'days? Episode 4.New Employee Gurt Barn Lady: [takes picture of Harper] [monotone voice] I know you've only been working here four hours, but congratulations. You're Employee of the Month. I almost won it 4 times, but I lost cause I take too many breaks. That reminds me. It's time for my break. Alex and Harper: [Singing the Funky Hat Song] What's that? A hat? Crazy, funky, junky hat! Overslept? Hair unsightly? Trying to look like Keira Knightley? We've been there, we've done that! We see right through your funky hat! Frankie: AAAHH! He's after me!!! Episode 5.Disenchanted Evening Justin: You don't know our dad. He'll throw a tantrum. And you'll know because it sounds like this. Wadigibadee hobadee ha! HA! ALEX!" Jerry: Ooh! A catwalk! [Walks on it like a model] T.J.: I'll show you a lair! Max: [To Alex] Wow, you weren't kidding He really does do that. Jerry: [Throwing a tantrum, the spell broken] It's! Gah! Mars! Who- !? ALEX!!? Alex: Maybe it's not so ridiculous! Max: Not to mention she left me on Mars. [Jerry and Teresa look both shocked and angry] Alex: H-He's right, it's completely my fault. Jerry: You are in SO MUCH trouble, young lady! Alex: ...I know. (she hugs him, and he points his finger up speechlessly) Alex: That's not magic. Justin: How do you know I didn't forget my locker combination and then used magic to remember it? Alex: Because you made up a locker combination song. Alex (with Justin joining in): Right to clear it come on let's hear it! 23, left 8 digits, but don't fidget, 31. Now for the last, don't go too fast! 6 and you're off to class! WHOO! Justin: Mom and Dad are charmed? WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?! WHO?! Alex: Mom and Dad. Justin: WHAT?! HOW?! WHEN?! Alex: At Dinner. Justin: WHAT?! HOW?! Alex: It was in the Kugel. Justin: WHAT?! Alex: Justin, I think you know what! Episode 7.Alex's Choice Alex: No I got a D on the test. I'm pretty sure I'm right. Alex: What happened to your faces? Applied your makeup with a hammer? Gigi: [Laughs with her friends] Harper: You didn't come for the tea. You came to protect me. Alex: I'll always be there to protect you. Alex: [Searches her spellbook] Truth spell. Truth spell. [Reads and casts the spell] Some are evil, some are kind, now all must speak their mind. Alex: Oh, this is going better than I thought. Hey everybody! I'm a wizard! Everyone: Huh!? Alex: Just kidding! Episode 8.Curb Your Dragon Justin: C'mon guys, hurry! We've got to go check on Dragon! Max: Why? If anyone messes with him, he'll just breathe fire. Alex: (Annoyed) That's what we're worried about. Max: What? I thought we just didn't want him to take leaks in the house. Justin: Hey guys. Gotta go check on dragon. Theresa: Wait, Justin. Alex: What's going on? Theresa: Those flyers you put up worked. Dragon's rightful owner came and picked him up. Alex: His owner? Theresa: I'm sorry, honey. Frankie: You lost your found dog? Why don't you rest your head on Frankie's shoulder and tell him ALL about it? Alex: I would, but I don't have time for you to get a ladder. Frankie: The guy came out with the dog and bought this. A program for the Hudson Dog Show. Alex: The Hudson Dog Show? When is it? Frankie: Why dontcha buy a copy and find out? Alex: I have to buy it? Frankie: Would I come into your restaurant, lick a sandwich and leave? ZINGER! That'll be $8.00 please. Alex: Ugh, okay.... ( reads the program) IT'S TODAY! I'd like to return this for a refund. ( takes money back) ZINGERR! Episode 9.Movies Theresa: Oh Maxy, promise you'll never grow up and leave me! Max: But I'm supposed to be taking out the trash. Theresa: Oh, no. Your daddy will take out the trash. [Jerry gives her the WHAT look, and she gives him the DO IT look] Max: Thank you, daddy. Jerry: Save it. Jerry: Alex, lets give it a try. Now, lets say you havent eaten for days and You're in desperate need for a sandwich. What do you do? Alex: I walk over to the sandwich shop and have Mom make me a sandwich. Jerry: Okay, yes, but Mom's not here. Justin: Where's Mom? Jerry: It's not important where she is, umm, she's gone, she left the country. Justin: She left the country? Why, is she ok? Jerry: Yes, she's fine. Alex: Well if she's fine, I don't see why she can't make me a sandwich. Jerry: Here, I've already written one down for you, just read that and concentrate. Max: Satisfy my empty belly, make me a peanut butter and jelly. [Max turns into a PBJ sandwich] Jerry: You see what I just did there? I just illustrated the dangers of "Spell Improv". [Justin is about to eat Max] Ha-di-di-da! You have to use your words very carefully because in the Wizard World they take you literally. So, when Max said "Make me a peanut butter and jelly," they made him a peanut butter and jelly. [Justin begins to open Max and throws him back onto the couch] Yhoy! Alex: Oh, I get it! Let me try it. Although I love such tasty snacks, I'd rather have my brother Max. [Max turns back into a human] Justin: Hello! Max: [To Justin] Hey, thanks for not eating me. Jerry: Alex, you're a natural. Alex: Thanks, that wasn't even true! Justin: I'm sensing you have a devious and poorly thought out plan to get into this Ruby Donahue movie. I'm gonna ask you to leave me out of it. Alex: Gladly. [As they walk away from each other, Alex gets in an isolated space.] I'm old enough to hang with actress model spokeswoman Ruby Donahue, so get me into Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2. [Alex is zapped away and is in an unvacant room with lots of pajama-clad teenagers] Alex: Is that Ruby Donahue over there? Party Member: No, silly! That's Bambi, the sensitive one! Just stay in character and scream when it's your turn. Alex: [Alex, confused, walks towards the screen and finds out she is in the actual Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2 film] Oh, my goodness, I'm in the movie. Party Member: And just in time, too! We're about to have a super fun Halloween pillow fight in our pajamas! Alex: Aren't you a little old to be in a sorority? Party Member: Aren't you a little young? Alex: Fair enough. [grabs a pillow and begins smashing it over the guest while everybody does the same. Suddenly a phone rings, causing everybody to stop in fear] What's the matter? It's just a phone...why did the music get all scary? Justin: [plays arcade games and stops upon seeing his friends] Why are you guys out here? The movie isn't even over yet. Friend #1: Justin, that movie is WAY too scary! There's somethings in life you cannot unsee! Justin: Where's Alex? She said she'd catch up with you guys. Friend #2: She never did. But weirdly enough, there's an actress in the movie that looked just like her. Justin: Really? Friend #2: Yeah, and she even sounded kinda like her, and she was wearing the exact same outfit as her. Weird, right? Justin: [now understanding that Alex did a spell on herself to get in the movie, he begins making sarcastic answers] Yeah, that's weird. What'd you get on that deductive reasoning test? Friend #2: 99%, why? Justin: Now thats even weirder. Would you guys excuse me for a moment? [runs to the same isolated space Alex was in] Alex Russo has messed up and put herself in a movie. Put me also in that movie. [fails to get zapped] That didn't even sound like a spell. OK, what rhymes with "movie"? Boovy, juvy, loovy, PLANT! [realizes that "movie" and "plant" don't rhyme] Plant...this is going to take a while. [leans against the wall, looking for a spell that will work] Alex: Hey, you're Ruby Donahue! Ruby: Who are you? Alex: Alex. Ruby: Are you the evil sorority sister who's come back from the grave to punish us for our cute but reckless destruction of perfectly good pillows?!?! Alex: What? No! I'm just a kid, I don't even know what I'm doing in this movie. Ruby: Me neither. This was all my agent's idea! Alex: Oooh, there's that music again! Where's it coming from? Ruby: This is the part where I run screaming into the showers for no reason at all. Alex: Well, it was nice meetin' ya. Ruby: You too! Justin: [finally getting inside the movie] ...in a groovy movie! little 1970s but it worked. Theresa: [after seeing two movie clerks talking about two new characters in Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2] Miss, two tickets for that, uh, disaster...party--bingo!--Halloween thing, yeah. Episode 11.Potion Commotion Jerry: Ok Max, now that your full powers are here. its time for the hat. Alex: Oh not the hat! Max: What hat? Alex: Dad that hats so ugly! Max: What hat?!?! Theresa: I cant believe my mijito is ready for the hat! Max: Somebody tell me about the hat already! Episode 12.Justin's Little Sister Justin: Oh, so it's like giving a burgler your money so he doesn't steal it! Max: I know a Jeannie. Jeannie Kowalski. Jeannie's dont like it when you flick them in the ear. That's lesson number one. Jerry: No, lesson number one is leave that girl alone. She's bigger than you. Alex: I fell asleep on table 5 one night, its pretty comfortable. Justin: What did you do!? Alex: Max, how would you get a genie to come back to her lamp? Max: I know, orange soda. Alex: What? Max: If someone poured orange soda in my room I'd be really mad. Theresa: You spilled orange soda in your room again didn't you? What did we say about taking it up there? Max: See she's really mad and she's going to my room. Alex: Please believe me. You have to believe me. You can't let him be invisible forever; I grew up with him. You know he may dorky, and annoying, but he's fun, and gullible to pull pranks. He's my brother I need him back. Episode 13.Wizard School, Part 1 Alex:(sees Justin in wizard's clothing) You know, you remind me of someone…Terry something? Umm…Barry something? Larry something? Oh, never mind. Jerry:WOULD IT HURT TO GET US A LITTLE TURKEY JERKY?!? Jerry:(Alex admits she used the portal key, stammering) AHH! THE...PORTAL...G...G...[SCREAMS] Theresa:Okay, and on the way we can pick up your new wizard's robes! Justin:Oh, no, Mom. They do just black bathrobes now. Wizard's robes are too formal for these casual times. Door: [SINGSONGING] DUN-DUN-DUN... Episode 14.Wizard School, Part 2 Justin: I'll see you in the finals, jerk. Hugh Normous: [during 12 ball semi-finals] He did it! He hit the tattler! Jerko Phoenix: Looks like it's just you, me and destiny. Jerry: Oh, I love porcini mushrooms. Salad Girl: That's what the hot dog guy in Washington Square Park said. Max: Get your Bronxstrami. Central Park sandwich. Right here at the Sub station! Jerry: Hey, it's working. Salad Girl: Salads make you perky. Sandwiches make you sleepy. Max: Salads are un-American!! Dr Evilini: Did my messenger fish just tell you my evil plan? Alex: No. Messenger Fish: All right, this time pay attention, 'Dear Mamma, you'd be proud to know that after the twelve ball tournament reveals the best young wizard I will drain [Alex puts hand over the messenger fish's mouth] Alex: Ok, maybe he did tell me. Episode 15.The Supernatural Alex: Oh, come on, she isn't that cute!</p> Justin: Yes, she is!</p> Alex: No, she isn't!</p> Justin: Uh huh.</p> Episode 16.Alex in the Middle Alex: Wow. Dad is mad inside and out. Kelbo: Okay, let's talk about it. (disappears with the kids) Episode 17.Report Card Jerry: Very good, Justin. Alex, you're up. Alex: Oh, okay. This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill its slot. [a brick appears] Oh! It's a pretty dove! Jerry: No. Oh! It's a pretty brick. You weren't concentrating. Max, you're up. Max: This guinea pig is now not, a dove with wings shall fill with snot. [dove sneezes] I said snot, didn't I? [The Russo siblings are taking a spell exam and Justin got an answer on one question] Justin: Got it. Alex: Does he have to say, "Got it" after every question? It's throwing me off on my exam. Max: [surprised] We're taking an exam? [Prof. Crumbs has arrived at the Russo household to collect the Russo siblings' exams and grade them] Max: Why doesn't Dad just grade our papers? Professor Crumbs: So that no one will get better grades just by batting their eyes and trying to look cute. Alex : [batting her eyes and looking cute] Are you talking about me? Justin: [mocking Alex's expression] Alex, you're doing it right now. [Alex's parents have just seen her report card] Jerry: Hey, what's that? Alex: [hastily] Uh... [takes out her wand] Alex: These parents are now not... Jerry: What're you doing? Alex: ...two guinea pigs should fill their slot. [Jerry and Theresa are turned into guinea pigs. Alex is shocked] Alex: What did I just do? I panicked! I needed to buy myself more time. Report Card: To do what? Alex: To panic! Justin: I don't know why you guys even bothered taking that test. We all know that I'm the one that's gonna win the family wizard contest and keep my powers. Jerry: That's not for a long while, Justin. Alex: And what if they change the rules so only girls keep their powers? Oh, wait, you still might win. Justin: Oh, Alex, you're so transparent. You know that I'm better than you at magic, so you have to lash out and make fun of me. And, you don't take any of this magic seriously. Alex: I can't take *you* seriously. You use big words like "transparent". What are you, British? Professor Crumbs: No, but I am. Alex: [Professor Crumbs, who was about to take Alex's powers, is turned into guinea pig] Don't look at me, I don't have my powers! Jerry: [shocked] Justin? Justin: ...I panicked! Alex: This is my problem not yours. Don't let me drag you down. Justin: But you don't drag me down. I don't want you to lose your powers. Everytime you mess up; I have to think of a way to fix it. You make me a better wizard. Report Card: Hey kid, I can tell you how to get rid of a bad report card. Alex: Really? How? Report Card: Get good grades. Alex: I hate you. Justin: Hate you too. (they look at eachother for a bit, then hug) Alex: ...And if it means that much to you, i'll sign your tortilla petition. Episode 18.Credit Check Alex: I quit. [Grabs Harper's arm] And we're going to the kitchen...[Everyone gasps] to eat...[more gasps] And we don't care who watches! Episode 19.Alex's Spring Fling Justin: [On the phone talking to his Mom] So you and Dad crossed over into New Jersary right, Then It's official I'm in charge? What if there was a tidal wave, If their was THEN can I be in charge? YES!! [Hangs up phone and blows a whistle] Okay, I'm in charge. Alex: [Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, a tidal wave, now you're in charge! Justin: Alex, you just ruined my new clothes. Alex: Justin, when you wear something for a week, it's not new anymore. It just needs a wash. Max: [Throws a water balloon at Justin] Hey, look, I just washed it. You're welcome! Episode 20.Quinceanera Grandma: I talked to your mom. She thinks your dad could lose 5 more pounds too. Richard (in Justin's body): What am I doing here? Candace (in Max's body): "I dunno. But like all the trouble spots I've been into all my life. I'm gonna dance my way out." (Music plays and they start to dance) Richard (in Justin's body): If you were 15 years older I would ask you out Teresa (in Alex's body): Okay this just got really weird (Now they do the swan) Richard (in Justin's body): Leap into my arms, I got you baby. Candace (in Max's body): Arms out, hold it girl, you're a swan. Episode 21.Art Museum Piece Category:American television seasons [Alex]blah blah blah [The scream] shhh !