Chairman of the Board (film)

Chairman of the Board is a 1998 American comedy film that follows a young inventor and surfer who inherits a multimillion dollar company from a billionaire. Directed by Alex Zamm; Produced by Peter M. Lenkov and Rupert Harvey Work sucks! Edison [in a commercial for Chef Edison's TV Dinner, dressed as an astronaut] Hi, I'm Chef Edison and when I'm away from home, I still like to catch some of my favorite TV shows. That's why I always bring one of my Chef Edison TV dinners wherever I go. With flavors like, 'Uh, Beavis and Broccoli', N.Y.P.D. Blueberry pie, and M*A*S*H potatoes, there's no reason to be a couch potato at home. Now you can be one anywhere! So sit back on a moon rock and enjoy. [that night after seeing his house boarded up] No, what happened? No, I... got evicted. No, tell me this isn't happening! My surfboard, dinosaur, yellow brick road! Where'd it all go? No! Oh, what did I do? Dialogue Ms. Krubavitch: No more Miss Sunshine for you three. I want my money NOW!! Edison: I'll take care of Cujo. Ms. Krubavitch, look, we go back a long time, right? We have that warm, personal relationship. Can I call you "Mom"? Ms. Krubavitch: [disgusted] Yecch. Edison: [writes a heart on shampoo] We love you. Ms. Krubavitch: [smacks the heart] That love crap doesn't work with me! Edison: OK. I'm gonna level with you, all right? We're kind of going through a negative cash flow situation, all right? Kind of a personal recession. But, hey! How about this? A lifetime supply of these? My favorite invention: A slurpy cup with a heater on it. Watch. [takes a slurp] This way, no brain freeze. Brilliant, huh? Mrs. Krubavitch: If I don't have my money by the end of the month, I'll have your skanky, dingleberry-ridden asses tossed out of here. YOU GOT THAT!?! [places her anti-smoking voice box against Edison's throat] Edison: Yes, sir. Lawyer: Hold on a moment. Armand's will clearly stipulates who gets what. Bradford: This is an abomination. You're telling me my uncle, my only family, left me a piece of wood and gave the bulk of his estate, $23 million in stock, [points to Edison] to that?! Edison: [delighted] 23 million? $23 million?! Oh, that's a lot of Snapples! Fremont: You're the new trainee? Edison: Actually, I inherited the company. Landers: He's Edison? [the board members incredulously exclaim] Edison: In the freckled flesh. Edison: Ladies and gentlemen, when I was yo high, I got the idea for making something everyone could use, and today, it is a reality. So, without further ado... [removes the cover off the Chef Edison's TV Dinner] Ta-da! The device that's gonna rock the world! Fremont: A TV dinner? I hate to break the news, but Swanson beat you to the punch by 40 years. Edison: Guys, it's not just a TV dinner, it's a real TV dinner. [opens the lid to the TV dinner, showing the food tray and a portable TV screen, much to the hoard's amusement] Here, check it out. [passes the TV dinner to Natalie, who passes it down to every board member all the way to Landers] The hardest part was making a TV that could withstand going from the freezer to be heated. Larry: This dinner is self-heating and uses microwave technology to cook the food and run the TV for 4 hours. Edison: And here's the kicker, it only costs $2.19 more than a regular TV dinner. Fremont: Ingenious! Landers: And tasty, too. Bradford: Get him a bib. Edison: I say we go into immediate production. Natalie: Whoa, Edison. I don't mean to burst your bubble, but there are standard procedure to follow. We have product testing and focus groups, safety regulations. We can't just march right into production. Edison: Well, you've done this a lot longer than I have, so... Bradford: [interrupting] Hold on! Didn't you just tell us that this is the greatest thing since individually wrapped cheese slices? Edison: I would never, ever dare compare it to individually wrapped cheese slices. I mean, come on. We all know there's nothing better or tastier than that. Bradford, hello? Scrumpdillyicious, cheese slices. Although, I would say this is close. Natalie: Yes, but... Bradford: Natalie, please. Gentlemen, months of costly testing will only tell us what we already know. The product works, but, of course, it's up to you, Mr. Chairman of the Board. Edison: I say we go into production now! Ty: Well, it's Her Royal Hemorrhoidiness. Ms. Krubavitch: You little good-for-nothing, jerkweed, halitosis heads are out of here! Zak What's up? The rent's been paid. Ty: Yeah. Ms. Krubavitch: Clown Boy's check bounced! [hands Zak a notice] I could have you pencil-necked low-lifes arrested for that. Ty: I knew Edison was spending too much money on this extravagance. I was going to tell him that myself. Zak: Ms. K., I'm sure it was just a big mistake. I know Edison could cut us another check. Hey, is that a new housecoat? Ms. Krubavitch: Ohh! I want my money by the end of today, IN CASH, or you scum-sucking weasels get the BOOT! Cast Carrot Top as Edison Courtney Thorne-Smith as Natalie Larry Miller as Bradford McMillan Jack Plotnick as Zak Mystro Clark as Ty Glenn Shadix as Larry Estelle Harris as Ms. Krubavitch Raquel Welch as Grace Kosik Jack Warden as Armand McMillan M. Emmet Walsh as Fremont Bill Erwin as Landers Fred Stoller as Toby External links 0118836 Chairman of the Board Category:1998 films Category:1990s American films Category:Screwball comedy films Category:Surfing films Category:Films set in Los Angeles Category:Business films