Thank Goodness You're Here!

Thank Goodness You're Here! is a 2024 adventure video game developed by Coal Supper and published by Panic. Players take the role of a travelling salesman who performs odd jobs for the residents of Barnsworth, a bizarre fictional town in Northern England. Charlie Oh, thank goodness you're here! I spied a shiny tuppence down this here runoff but more fool me, my arm has become trap-ped. Perhaps you might see about sourcing some lubrication, that I might slip free? I need something greasy to slip me out of here! Rightio chaps, ready for one last tug tugaroo? Grab ahold of my for'arm. On my mark... three, two, one... Heave! Ho! What's this! 'Twas nary a tuppence! 'Twas a threepence! Pray tell, young threepence, where best to spend ye? What ho, what luck, a wishing well! Godspeed, young threepence! Do I smell quail? Oh I see, twas but a tomato! Hoo hoo, more fool me. 30-love, Herbert, 30-love! Herbert the Gardener Just the man I need. The Mayor's asked me to clean up this little rose garden. You can start by getting on that mower! Don't be shy lad, give that lawnmower the old and grab and squeeze just like in the Navy. Nice firm grip on that mower, lad. I tell you, Reggie's wife could learn a thing or two. Ooh thank goodness you're here! I've been sucking this pipe all morning and I haven't got a drop out of it. Little Tomantha here has nearly crusted over, we need to dampen that topsoil pronto! [reads Gardening for Plonkers] Crikey, look at the size of this lad's marrow. Says here that tomatoes are a fruit?! Jasper the Handyman Hang on a wee minute! Where's my blinking spanner? Oh, don't tell me it's been pinched again? It'll be that senile old fishmonger Bish down at the market. You better get down there and find it or it'll be cold chips till the cows come home! Hey, cracking work reclaiming my spanner from that despicable fishmonger. Unfortunately, I've noticed my screwdriver's gone missing too! It's probably that daft lassie, Kerri, down at Price Shaggers! Right away you go, laddie! I cannae get into this thing without my trusty screwdriver! What the devil are you still doing here, boy! I need that screwdriver quick sticks! I cannae believe the cheek of that wee boy! I dread to think the trouble he was up to with this old thing. Anyway lad, I think I've almost cracked her open. Take a look inside, won't you, see if you cannae flush all this muck oot! Bish the Fishmonger Thank goodness you're here, lad! This stall's a reyt mess! Give us a hand setting it up, won't you? I'd do it meself but me gout's playin' up. Cracking work, lad! The stall's never looked better! Brigadier Bean Tin I'm Brigadier Bean Tin, hear my breath! Bring me beans or bring me death! I'm Brigadier Bean Tin, hear my plea! I summon my six Gulls back to me! [blows baked bean tin like a conch] That didn't work. Go find them! Chimney Sweep Girl What 'ave we here then! A toad in the 'ole! Don't worry little fella, I'll pop you down the apples and pears in a jiffy! Here 'e is again! Ready for another bit of fiddlesticks, are ya? Watch your knees! Hokey Cokey Guvna! Keep your rhubarb folded on the way down! Riddle me that, pickle me this, hold on to my brush I'm about to piss! Wisdom Owl Here's some wisdom for you. Never give an owl a towel. Dialogue [Second visit at The Thumbitt Inn] Ronny: So I watching the television last night, the numbers were getting higher and higher, the programming more and more irreverent. I was almost entrapped by the teleshopping... A long form piece about a wet and dry vacuum cleaner almost caught my eye, but then I happened upon the strangest of things: An entire television channel dedicated to women on the phone! Of course, I dialled in immediately! And the operator connected me to the most enchanting lady, Chantelle! We spoke for hours, of Tolstoy, and of Dickens, and of Tchaikovsky, and of course... anatomy. And see that's why I needed your credit card details, Larry! Larry: Right, Ronny, for the telly ladies. Ronny: Yeah, that's right Larry, it was for our night of mutual pleasure. Larry: Right you are, Ronny. Ronny: Now about my tab, I won't be paying it! [Kerry and Florence's first fight at Price Shaggers] Kerry: Florence! Mum rang; she said you're a bitch! Florence: No she didn't! Kerry: Yeah she did, she said you're a big fat bitch. Florence: Kerry, shove o'er! Kerry: No, you're a proper bitch you Florence, everyone says so, even Colin. Florence: No he don't! Don't talk about Colin or I'll smack you! [Jasper gets his spanner back from Bish the Fishmonger] Jasper: Oh! A fine scene! Bish: Jasper, I've no idea how that got there! Jasper: Aye, pull the other one! Passin' off my spanner as a stiff kipper is it?! Bish: But we've been friends for forty years. Why on earth would I betray your trust now?! Jasper: Why don't ye spare me the excuses, you fat trout! I'm takin' this back to my toolbox where it belongs! Bish: (confused grumbling as Jasper disappears) How embarrassing... External links Thank Goodness You're Here! Category:2024 video games Category:Adventure games