Boy Meets World (season 2)

Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Main Boy Meets World (1993–2000) was a television sitcom in which Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) experiences all the twists and turns of life along with his teacher, Mr. Feeny (William Daniels); his brother, Eric (Will Friedle); his best friend, Shawn (Rider Strong); and his girlfriend, Topanga (Danielle Fishel). Back 2 School [2.1] Cory: See, I've been doing my homework. Amy: You've done homework? Cory: It's a metaphor. So how do I avoid years of humiliation and abuse? Alan: Don't get married. [Amy smacks him] It's a metaphor! Shawn: Why did we have to leave the old school. I was so cool in the old school. They had no right to pass me. I am an idiot. Mr. Feeny: Well Mr. Matthews, why don't we treat this little rendezvous as a dress rehearsal for the many visits we'll undoubtedly have this year. Cory: Huh? Mr. Feeny: Get out of my face!!!! Pairing Off [2.2] [Cory catches Eric making out with a girl.] Eric: [panicking] Cory, we're studying. Cory: So am I! Cory: [in health class] Well, the man's got the sperm and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month an egg slides down the 'Philippine' tube towards the uterus. The first sperm to reach the egg wins, it gets a medal, it's born, you name him Cory, you push him out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life. Notorious [2.3] (About rats) Eric: You named them after yourselves? Cory: Yeah. Shawn's the one chewing the lock. I'm the one with the skin disease. Cory: "John Adam's High's New Principal is Mr. George Weeny." Can you imagine five thousand students reading this? Shawn: Power; ultimate power. Cory: Yeah, but... we would never... would we? Shawn: Power! Shawn: What are we now? Cory: We are lowly, 7th grade sewer scum who name rats after ourselves to feel important. Shawn: And how do you feel about this? Cory: Better than the guys with no rats. Me and Mr. Joad [2.4] [Mr. Feeny has sent Mr. Turner's students back to class.] Turner: What about Hunter and Matthews? Feeny: Ah. For those two, I shall have to go nuclear. Turner: And that would mean? Feeny: I shall call their mommies. Feeny: The football season... Shawn: Oh, no. Feeny: CANCELED! Shawn: But that means... Feeny: Yes, Mr. Hunter. No cheerleaders! Shawn: [falling to his knees] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cory: Shawn, it's a strike. We have to make sacrifices. Shawn: [hysterical] But he's taking my girls! Why can't we just sacrifice you? [When the class refuses to take the test] Feeny: I realize that all you seventh graders are delicate, adolescent flowers just beginning your high school blooming. And so I say this with utmost sensitivity. Take this test... or die. [After the class walks out] Feeny: They have demonstrated the power of labor. Now let's show them what management can do. Turner: [smiling] Cave? We're gonna cave? Feeny: You know, you seem amused by this display of defiance, Mr. Turner. Turner: Oh, I am, I gotta say. Because if I had done to me what I did to them, then I'd have done the same thing to me that they did. Feeny: [After a confused pause] Go to the board and diagram that sentence. The Uninvited [2.5] Cory: Do you think I'm a geek? Shawn: Of course not. Cory: So you think I'm cool? Shawn: Of course not. Cory: Then what am I?! Shawn: You're Cory! I'm Shawn- just like it's always been. What else do you need to know? Alan: [smelling Cory's cologne as he comes down the stairs behind him] What's that smell?... Oh, my God, I'm rotting! Cory: Relax, Dad, it's just my Rampaging Stallion. What do you think? Alan: [waving a magazine] I think if the party doesn't have adequate ventilation, you're all gonna die! Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? [2.6] Cory: Shawn, what I'm about to tell you is so strange, no one in their right mind would believe it. Shawn: Then I'm your guy. Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I wouldn't be taking out that garbage if I were you. Cory: I had to. It was starting to move. Feeny: Haven't you heard? Cory: I haven't heard anything. I live upstairs. Feeny: Well, it seems that a wolf escaped from the Philadelphia Zoo. Authorities believe that it may well be somewhere in our area. Cory: A wolf? Out here in the burbs? Feeny: Yes. Probably looking for better schools. Cory: So how come you're taking your garbage back inside the house? Feeny: Wolves have a keen sense of smell. The garbage would only attract them. Cory: So your plan is to lure them into your living room? [Cory thinks he is turning into a werewolf] Madame Mosbenskias: Come to me, Werewolf Boy. Cory: You know. Madame Mosbenskias: I know many things, I know you were bitten by a wolf. Cory: It's true. Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are now becoming a wolf. Cory: That's amazing. Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are recently divorced. Cory: What? Madame Mosbenskias: You're not Billy Joel? Cory: No. Madame Mosbenskias: Well, then, you're just a wolf. Wake Up, Little Cory [2.7] Alan: Why is that Shawn? Why is my son so godlike and popular? Shawn: Because people have finally begun to realize how well brought up he is? Alan: That the best you can do? Shawn: Yeah, well, my mom smoked when she was pregnant. Topanga: You know what I want? I want my good name back. Cory: Well, some people might argue that Topanga isn't the best name to begin with. Band on the Run [2.8] Cory: Shawn Look who they got to play at the dance. Shawn: The Exits; they're great! Cory: They're us! Shawn: Oooh... They're not so good. Band guy: Hey, you. Busy? Cory: You're not gonna ask me to the dance, are you? Band guy: What if I did? Cory: I'd say, "Pick me up at eight, but no slow dances." Fear Strikes Out [2.9] Joey: That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'm gonna be laughin' at that one for years and years. I'm gonna be tellin' my grandkids about it, like, 60 years from now. Unless I don't have grandkids, then I guess I'll have to tell some strange kids in the park, and the cops will come and say, "Hey, you, in the raincoat —" Harley: Shut up! Joey: Okay. Cory: You know, I'm thinking of becoming a poet. There once was a boy named Cory... Eric: Who now has an interesting story... Cory: He learned about kissing... Eric: And all he was missing... Shawn: When he and Topanga made out! Cory: Shawn, can you say "summer school"? Topanga: So, you're just doing this so you won't be different. Cory: I'm just trying to survive this. Topanga: Oh. Cory: No, it's not you, Topanga. It's me. I just can't perform under all this pressure. Topanga: It's Ok. Relax This happens to lots of guys. Cory: How do you know? Topanga: Well, you know, girls talk. Cory: Oh, man. Listen, when you talk to girls, this did not happen to me. Nothing happened. I mean, something happened, but Whatever was supposed to happen, did. Topanga: Cory, do you wanna just talk? Cory: Could we? Topanga: So, what would you like to talk about? Cory: Well, we could talk about what we're gonna tell them when we get out of here. Topanga: We could tell them we made out. Cory: They'd know. Topanga: I could mess up my hair and you could change your shirt. Cory:You'd have to smile a lot. Topanga: And you'd have to get that real sleepy, stupid look. Cory: You could change your shirt, too. Topanga: Don't push it. Cory: How come you're being so cool about this? I don't know. Topanga: Because you're nice. Sister Theresa [2.10] Cory: Last night T.K. and me talked on the phone for two hours. That beats my previous time spent on the phone with a girl by, like... two hours. Feeny: "TK loves CM." What could that possibly mean? Cory: It must mean that someone named TK loves... corn muffins? Frankie: OK, everybody out in the hall. Let's go. Move it along. No talking. Single file. Harley: Everybody but you, baboon. Frankie, you and Joey watch the door. Cory: What's going on? Harley: I am extremely distraught. Cory: Do you happen to know why? Harley: Yes. Someone has stolen the sweet, angelic smile from the face of my sister Theresa. Cory: Your sister? You mean, T.K. is Harley: Theresa Keiner. And nobody breaks the heart of Harley Keiner's sweet baby sister. Cory: Look, Harley, I swear, I had no idea she was your sister. Harley: You do realize you'd be dead already, except that Theresa says you're a gentleman. Lucky for you and your kneecaps, I deem this a very rare and desirable quality. Therefore, I am willing to let you take Theresa to the movies tonight as planned. Cory: You know, we really don't have to go out. Harley: No, you really do. Cory: Ok Harley: This will be a nice date, a polite date. You will be a perfect gentleman, 'cause otherwise, baboon, your next and final date is with Frankie. Frankie: And don't expect flowers. T.K.: Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home. Alan: Oh, well thank you for the lobsters! T.K.: You're welcome, I'm sure. [to Cory] How's the new me coming across, fuzzy? Cory: You're doing great! [Eric picks up a lobster] Eric: Uh-oh! This guy's missing a claw. [T.K. stands up.] T.K.: That is it! I told them these were important people! This is a very big dinner for me! What do they do? They send me damaged goods![She takes the lobster and throws it across the room. She sits back down and notices everyone staring at her] T.K.: Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home. The Beard [2.11] Cory: [after being asked to give Shawn a note for the second time] Do I have an unlisted desk or something? Cory: I miss Linda already. Shawn: I miss Stacy. And Linda. Cory: And Debbie? Shawn: And Debbie. Cory: There is no Debbie! Shawn: Then how come I miss her so much? Cory: Because you're nuts. Turnaround [2.12] Topanga: [talking about the dance] Well, I'm not going. Cory: My only hope!... I mean, why? Topanga: It's a protest. The concept of a turnaround dance is that all the other times only the boys get to ask. That is gender-biased thinking and we have to get beyond that... Besides, that weekend my daddy's taking me to New York for Christmas shopping! Cory: What? Just because she's the coolest girl in our grade, you don't think she'd ask me? Shawn: If a bomb dropped on the school and every other guy was killed expect you... she'd go with the most popular dead guy. Shawn:[After Ingrid's makeover] Whoa, she looks just like Becky! Becky: I am Becky. [about to take a picture for the yearbook] Eric: Dumped. Cory: Dumped. Shawn: Cheese. Cory: Shawn! Come on, positioning. How do you expect to be asked out with your head in your locker? Becky: [while Shawn's head is still in the locker] Shawn, would you go to the Turnaround dance with me? Cory: Eric I don't want to hurt Ingrid she's a nice girl But enough about her, get me out of this date. Eric: Look, you heard what Dad said. Cory: Oh, please, he's old. He's out of touch. I mean, the last girl he dated was Mom. Eric: No, no, no, no Cor, Cor, Cor You have to go with Ingrid. You bail on this girl, it's all over for you. Cory: Why? It's one girl, one date. Eric: No, no, no You dump one girl, they're all gonna know and they're all gonna hate you. Remember, women are in constant communication with each other. Cory: What are you talking about? Eric: (Morgan walks in) Say Cor, did you enjoy the vegetarian chili mom made last night as much as I did? You know, sometimes I think we take our great mom for granted. Cory: Eric, could we please stick to my problem for a second here? Eric: Yes, your problem. Your problem is the international women's network. Look, you blow off this girl, everybody online's gonna know about it in the morning. Cory: Oh, I don't believe that. Eric: Well, you could be right, then again Amy: [walks in] I didn't know you liked my chili. What can I get my wonderful boys for dinner tomorrow night? Eric: And bad news, it travels even faster. Cyrano [2.13] Harley: Didn't I tell Frankie to dispose of you guys? Cory: Yes, and he did. He killed us big time. Shawn: And now we're the angels of ourselves. Cory: And it's time for us to float away. Come on, Shawn, float. Harley: Either of you angels seen my girl?. Cory: You mean Gloria? No, we haven't seen her. Shawn: There's no way we could've seen her. We were in a locker the whole time. Harley: The whole time what, boys?. Cory: Come on, Shawn! FLOAT! FLOAT! I Am Not a Crook [2.14] Feeny: Jonathan, all I'm hearing from your little election are ridiculous promises and character assassination. Turner: Too much like the real thing, George? Eric: So how's the campaign? Cory: Well, we're taking it in a new direction. Eric: And that would be... down? Cory: Shawn, you're squealing. Shawn: Well that's what someone does when their best friend takes a gun and stabs them in the back right in front of their eyes! Breaking Up is Really, Really Hard to Do [2.15] Shawn: You think too much. Do what I do: don't think. Mr. Turner: (reading Shawn's poem) "My uncle Ralph, he does not care, 'Cause twice a month, he gets welfare. My uncle Chuck has nylon hair, He bought the rug with his welfare." [skimming ahead] "Old Corvair... long nose hair... electric chair..." It's a very colorful family you have there, Shawn. Shawn: I didn't use their real names. That's ok right? Mr. Turner: Oh, yeah. The less I know, the better. Eric: [looking in a textbook] Oh, and who is this raven-haired beauty? Jason: That's Leonardo da Vinci. Stop that, you're scaring me! Wendy: Is it okay if I go tell all of my friends? Cory: Sure and I'll tell all of mine...SHAWN! Eric: Look at me, I'm alone. [Looking down]Alan: [Looking at his test results] And you will be until your grades come up. Now until I see some letters here closer to the front of the alphabet... you're not going on any more dates. Eric: [Looking sad] Mom, Mommy. Amy: Aww, Alan, how can you be so cruel to my sweet little baby? Alan: Well, it was your idea. Eric you can't rely on your looks to get you through life. Eric: But all I want to be is a weatherman.[In a flashforward where Cory and Shawn are old men]Shawn: How long you been married? Cory: ...Who? Shawn: ...What? Cory: ...They want you to take the rolls[Eric is banging his head on a locker.]Jason: Locker Head Man! I heard your signal and came as quickly as I could! Eric: A haircut?? This is your girl substitute? So If i was straving you'd buy me pants? Shawn: (to Cory after making out with a girl at Chubbie's) Remember in health class, that section on the movement of blood? I understand it now. Cory: I'm on an emotional roller coaster. (discussing Wendy) Amy: She's just a little girl playing house. Alan: Amy, sweetheart, she's a little blond loon! Alan (conversationally): Hey guys, where ya been? Eric: Hey, I can get a haircut, as many as I want! Cory: So after she made us dessert and read to us I walked her home and right there on the porch I laid it out. I said "Wendy, it's over. Forever." Shawn: How'd she react? Cory: Well, she invited me in for oatmeal cookies, Grandma Jansen played the organ and we all sang Big Rock-Candy Mountain. Shawn: Nice knowing ya. Cory: You know, they have four generations living in the same house. The men don't say much. Danger Boy [2.16] Eric: You're gonna love Cory. You wouldn't believe how mature he is. Cory: Hey guys, look at me! I'm a fountain! [blows water out of his mouth] I've gotta show Shawn! [runs upstairs] Shawn! Eric: I'll talk to Cory. He won't do the fountain. He won't blow milk bubbles out of his nose. He won't even do Armpit Theater. [Cory has just ridden the roller coaster.]Cory: Piece of cake... Eric: What? Cory: I threw up a piece of cake. On the Air [2.17] Cory: I have a radio voice! Shawn: And I have a radio face! Shawn: He says one thing and then he does another. He's being a hypochondriac. By Hook or By Crook [2.18] Eric: I cheated, Mr. Feeny. I had the answers written on my hand. Feeny: And you only managed an A-minus? Eric: I sneezed off a couple of the answers. Turner: [about Uncle Mike fixing his bike] Listen, you know this doesn't mean I'm gonna give the kid a break on grades or anything. Uncle Mike: Like he needs it! Shawnie's the scholar of the family! Mr. Turner: I think you're tellin' me the truth. Wrong Side of the Tracks [2.19] Turner: [about a biography assignment] Doesn't have to be somebody famous, just somebody real. Anybody you like. Cory: Anybody? Turner: Anybody. Cory: Absolutely anybody? Turner: Absolutely anybody.Cory: I pick Shawn! Shawn: I pick Cory! Topanga: You know, you walked right into that. Turner: I did, didn't I? Eric: Jason, I don't skate. At all. Jason: Well, hey. C'mon, Canadians skate. How hard could it be? Cory: Well, I know who you are! You're Shawn Hunter! You were raised by wolves - you're MY friend. It says so in your biography. I mean, what else do you need to know? Turner: If you don't think deep down inside that you're all right, then I haven't taught you anything. Pop Quiz [2.20] Feeny: [of Cory and Shawn] I'd give up on them, but I don't think they'd notice. Shawn: My book is due back and I have to rewind it. The Thrilla' in Phila [2.21] Feeny: Set him down now. Vader: Feeny, you can't tell me what to do any more. I'm not one of your punk students. I'm the Face of Death!Feeny: You were scarier when you had acne. Topanga: Cory, you never told me your quote for the yearbook. Cory: What did you put? Topanga: "I do my thing and you do your thing; you are you and I am I; but if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful." Cory: Put the same for me. Career Day [2.22] Eric: It's like I'm in S.A.T. Zone. All my other senses are completely shut down. [knocks soup into lap]Jason: Eric? Eric: Wha? Jason: You just spilled soup on your lap. Eric: What? [Jason nods. Eric looks down.] Ahhh! Hot! Hot! Cory: Shawn, what does your dad do? Shawn: Shh. I'm trying to find out! Shawn: Your dad wasn't that bad. Cory: The cantolope is your friend!? [Kid is eating melon]'' Kid: Hey, Cory, I'm eating your dad's friend! Home [2.23] Eric: Hey, Hunter, what do you think you're doing? Shawn: Uh... cleaning out my ears. Eric: Yeah, with Towelie? My lucky towel? What are you, insane? Shawn: One of us is. Turner: What do you know about women? Shawn: What do you wanna know? Turner: Oh, you think you can help me out, Hunter? Shawn: Hey, you helped me. Turner: Now, see: why can't you be this sharp in my class? Shawn: Math's not my best subject. Turner: I'm your English teacher. Shawn: Then why you teaching math? Turner: Are you kidding me? Shawn: (after Eric falls in the bathroom) I Think he just found Slippy, his lucky soap. Category:Boy Meets World seasons