Girls With Slingshots

Girls With Slingshots is a webcomic written and drawn by Danielle Corsetto. It is about the everyday trials and tribulations of adulthood, starring two best friends, Hazel and Jamie. It updates five days a week. Number 1-99 Hazel: I don't think inflatable sheep are considered "stuffed animals." Number 3 Hazel: Honey, he's hot, charming, funny, and well-dressed...inevitably, that adds up to "loves the cock." Number 18 Jameson: My and all this time I thought you couldn't smell jealousy. Number 42 Jamie: You know, I'd say you're cute when you're jealous, but you're really not that cute. Number 81 Hazel: Why are all my best compliments in the form of insults? Number 87 Number 100-199 Hazel: I've never despised an ellipsis so much in my life. Number 114 Jamie: Well, how do you know they don't use the Dewey Decimal System in porn stores? Hazel: If by "Dewey" you mean "wet," you may have a point there. Number 138 Hazel: I think I just lost my status as "meanest character." Number 167 Chris: I thought dead hooker jokes were just JOKES!! Number 178 Number 200-299 Scott: I take it I'm the only one in the room with a steady sex life. Number 217 Hazel: Okay...Denial, Anger, Bargaining...I think I'll skip straight to Depression. Number 252 Hazel: Believe it or not, this is ENTIRELY about me. Number 257 Hazel: You're so mean it makes ME look good. Number 294 Candy: How dare you analyze me so correctly! Number 295 Number 300-399 Jamie: What IS wrong with Jim? Hazel: Besides the fact that we can't figure out what's wrong with him, nothing. Number 306 Jamie: Somewhere, in an alternate universe, you and I are covered in badges! Hazel: Meanwhile, in THIS universe, we are going straight to hell. Number 333 Jim: It wasn't a vacation. It was a leave of embarrassment. Number 342 Jamie: I think about kids all the time! I hear they're delicious sauteed in butter. Number 383 Maureen: Jamie, your breasts are...legendary. Jamie: You can say it twice. I consider them each a separate legend. Number 395 Number 400-499 Jamie: Wow. And you aren't even sleeping together. Hazel: I know. Jamie: This is like a real, grown-up relationship! Hazel: I know. Jamie: How are you doing this? Hazel: Masturbating like CRAZY. Number 433 Hazel: What's this? A miniature pony? Zach: In case you didn't like the tickets. All girls like ponies. Number 452 Jamie: We need a Heartbreak Bacardi and some free bartender advice over here! Number 496 Number 500-599 Hazel: Calling it a "meeting" instead of "drinks" takes all the fun out of it. Number 544 Hazel: Why do you always freak out when I'm in a good mood? Jameson: It's weird! Number 570 Hazel: How's it shakin', eggs 'n' bacon? Jamie: Large an' loose, like your caboose! Number 587 Number 600-699 Hazel: That wasn't me, that was my ovaries. Number 617 Jameson: Oh, thank GOD, you're finally getting LAID! Number 631 David: If you're suggesting I have bitchtits, I'm mildly offended. Unless you like bitchtits. Number 650 Jameson: Sorry, I'm afraid you need less Asshole Points to access that information. Number 684 Zach: They're OLD PEOPLE, not ZOMBIES! Hazel: But, they're FRAGILE like zombies. Number 691 Number 700-799 Hazel: "Why are my cat's farts so nasty?" Oh Internet, is there nothing you don't know. Number 728 Jamie: Remind me to trick you into complimenting me more often. Number 744 Candy: Whoa, is that kangaroo hide? Number 752 Zach: Nonsense, you're far too sober to dump me. Number 773 Davan: Which side has the crazier women? I want to feel at home. Number 781 External links Girls with Slingshots Category:Webcomics