Goin' South

Goin' South is a 1978 American western-comedy film in which, due to the lack of men after the Civil War, a small western town allows a bachelorette with ulterior motives to save a horse thief from the gallows by marrying him. They must deal with his old gang, the Sheriff, the bank, and each other. Directed by Jack Nicholson. Written by John Herman Shaner, Al Ramrus, Charles Shyer, and Alan Mandel. Saved from the hangman, for a fate worse than death!taglines Henry Lloyd Moon You can't touch me! You thought you'd get the old man on the Moon? You Texas clown buzzards are a disgrace to the Confederacy. Well, I ain't no slab of meat to be auctioned off, but what the hell? Fine by me. I wanna tell you good people of Longhorn, especially you lovely ladies, that the old sayin', "You can't judge a book by its cover", it's true. It's true! Some books is all scruffed up on the outside, but when you turn around and look inside, why, the words is just - wonderful. [to a homely woman who's sizing him up for matrimony] I wouldn't take you to a dog-fight if you was the defendin' champ! Hold on, Towfield, you're wrinklin' my good luck ban-dan-na. I'll do all I can do; but, that's all I can do. I like it down there in Mexico. Pace suits me better. Slow days and fast nights. Sheriff Andrew Kyle Now, Mr Moon: No drinkin', no gamblin', no wife-beatin', no alley-cattin', what not nor what have you. You've got to mind her. If you try runnin', there'll be $500 on your head. Deputy Hector When we want to hear from you, amigo, we'll rattle your cage! Dialogue Deputy Towfield: [of Moon's marriage] It's bad, huh? Henry Moon: Like eggs rolled in sand. Henry Moon: What? What? Towfield, I told you to keep these buzzards outta here. Deputy Towfield: Take it easy, Moon. You're lucky you're getting a decent hanging. I'd a done it out there on a scrub oak. Henry Moon: Goddamn vultures hangin' around here all morning. Deputy Towfield: They just want to take a gander at the man of the hour. Henry Moon: Yeah. Well, I'm flattered as hell. Henry Moon: [just prior to his hanging] Well, honey, at least we had some good old times together. Hermine: You was the best I ever had - except maybe that circus fella. Henry Moon: I'll never forget you, Hermine. You was the first woman I didn't have to pay for. Sheriff Andrew Kyle: We got this ordinance here, it was passed after the Civil War, on account that a lot of our boys didn't come home - and the women was beginnin' to chew up the grass. Henry Moon: I feel sorry for the grass. Sheriff Andrew Kyle: I feel sorry for the women. Anyhow, this ordinance states that any man, short of a murderer, can be saved from the gallows by any property-holdin' female, providin' she decides to marry 'im. And they done that in Roman times too, as I recollect. Henry Moon: Sweet Jesus H. Christ Almighty! Julia Tate: I'll take him. Sheriff Andrew Kyle: Julia, what are you sayin'? He's an outlaw. Julia Tate: I assumed that's why you're hanging him. Sheriff Andrew Kyle: Julia, are you drunk? Julia Tate: Sheriff Kyle, you know I don't drink. Henry Moon: 'Course she don't drink! Henry Moon: You always this quiet? Julia Tate: When I have something to say, you'll hear it. Henry Moon: Well, look, I can get off right here as far as I'm concerned. Of course, a good husband's hard to find. Julia Tate: You weren't hard to find. You were standing in front of the whole town with a rope around your neck. Henry Moon: Yeah. You sure are a smart woman. I like smart women. Julia Tate: Sure you do. Henry Moon: [entering Julia's house] Well, it looks like the Opera House. Julia Tate: Please take your clothes off, Mr Moon. Henry Moon: How's about a little dessert? I said, how's about a little dessert? Julia Tate: I heard you the first time. Henry Moon: You didn't answer me the first time. Can I ask you a personal question? When was the last time you had a man? Julia Tate: I hope you don't mind confined spaces; because, tomorrow we start tunneling. Henry Moon: God damn, I should've known. You can always tell a virgin on account of the whites of the eyes ain't clear. You see, I got this theory on virgins, that they always look peaked and grouchy on account of they're going against nature. I don't want to get calluses pattin' myself on the back, but in my time I have put a gal or two in tune with nature. Julia Tate: I'm sure nature is *very* grateful. Julia Tate: The railroad's taking over my land under eminent domain. Henry Moon: Eminent domain. Ain't that where somebody bribes a state legislature to take away some poor folks' land? Polty, Railroad Manager: I won't dignify that with an answer. Henry Moon: I ain't askin' for no dignification. Henry Moon: Well?! Anybody hungry? Big Abe: [deadpan] Hungry?! Shit, I could eat a frozen dog. Henry Moon: Well, we'll go on out to the kitchen and see if we got one already froze. Henry Moon: That's it - for me. I'm too young to die. Julia Tate: You don't understand. Henry Moon: I understand about dreams. I understand about wakin' up, too. Didn't I want to ride with the Younger Gang and they wouldn't have me? Claimed I wasn't cut out to be a Younger. My feelin's was hurt, but I accepted it. Julia Tate: You know, for an outlaw, you've been a pretty good friend. Big Abe: I don't give a goddamn what anybody says, I'm a gentleman! And I'm not gonna throw up in this here house, I'm going outside to throw up, 'cause I respect ye house, ma'am. Julia Tate: Oh, Big Abe, you can throw up in this house any old time. Polty, Railroad Manager: Unless I am advised otherwise, I'll be out to survey. Henry Moon: You know, Polty's just another way of sayin' chicken. Julia Tate: [tied to the bed] You wouldn't dare! Henry Moon: Well, I hadn't thought of it, but now you mention it, up in San Francisco, I seen some Chinese that done it this way. The Chinese is an old civilization. They understand things about pleasure that I've never even thought of. One thing for sure: we ain't had a borin' marriage. Taglines Saved from the hangman, for a fate worse than death! For Henry Moon, life was just beginning. Cast Jack Nicholson - Henry Lloyd Moon Mary Steenburgen - Julie Tate Christopher Lloyd - Deputy Towfield John Belushi - Deputy Hector Richard Bradford - Sheriff Kyle Veronica Cartwright - Hermine Jeff Morris - Big Abe Danny DeVito - Hog Tracey Walter - Coogan Luana Anders - Loretta Anderson Lucy Lee Flippin - Diane Haber Ed Begley, Jr. - Whitey Haber Lin Shaye - Parasol Lady External links 0077621 Category:American western (genre) films Category:American comedy-drama films Category:Films set in Texas Category:1978 American films Category:1978 English-language films