Regular Show (season 6)

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Film | The Lost Tapes | Main The following is a list of quotes from the sixth season of Regular Show. Maxin' and Relaxin [6.01] [Rigby is playing a video game while Mordecai is feeling worried about C.J. wanting to meet his parents, especially his mother] Mordecai: She can't meet my mom, dude. Rigby: What's the big deal? Your mom's totally cool. Mordecai: She's totally psycho. Rigby: What? Mordecai: She'd always go out of her way to embarrass me whenever I had a girl over. Rigby: Yeah, but how many times did you have a girl over? Zero? [stops playing his video game] Was it zero times? Mordecai: No! Remember Daphne Gonzales? [Flashback; Teen Mordecai and Daphne Gonzales are both in his room as he plays a mix tape reading, "Studyin' & Buddyin' Vol 2" on the radio and sits next to her on his bed] Daphne: Music? Mordecai: Uh, yea-ah. Daphne: [covers one of her ears] It's loud. Mordecai: [covering one of his ears while talking over the loud music] So, what did you get for question 12? Hilary: [kicks the door open and enters with a plate of pigs in a blanket and prunes; cheerfully] Hey, kids! Sorry I had to kick the door open. It was closed for some reason. [laughs] This music! What's going on, a dance party? [starts dancing and moves toward the bed as Mordecai covers his face in embarrassment] Come on, Mordy! Shake what your mama gave ya! Your butt, Mordy! I'm talking about your butt! Mordecai: What do you want, Mom?! Hilary: I made some snacky-wackies for my wittle study buddies. Pigs in a blanket and, uh, prunes. [whispers to Daphne] Prunes are for Mordy, hon. Keeps him regular. Mordecai: Mom! Hilary: What? It does. Mordecai: Ugh! Okay, Mom, fine! Just leave now, alright?! Gosh! Hilary: [sets the snack plate down on a table] Okay, okay, Mordy. I'll leave. It's just… [turns to Daphne, shedding a tear] Daphne, thank you. Daphne: For what? Hilary: For being the first girl Mordecai's ever brought over! [picks up a video camera] It's going on the tape! So tell me. How do you like studying with my son? Tell me for the tape. Daphne: [picks up her backpack] I gotta go! [quickly bolts out of the room and leaves the house] [Mordecai collapses onto his bed in a fetal position, with his face completely red of embarrassment; End of flashback] Rigby: So that's why Daphne wrote, "I hope you're still eating your prunes, ha-ha!" in your yearbook. Mordecai: Molly Sherman, Bernice Chan, Sasha Diaz… none of them lasted a day with my mom. Rigby: [goes back to playing] Sounds rough, man. [A little later… Mordecai calls his father, William, in his home office] William: [drinking his coffee and answers his phone] Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son. Mordecai: Uh, hey, Dad. I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend so I can grab one of my old mix tapes. William: Girlfriend, eh? I'm sure your mom will love that. Mordecai: That's kind of the problem. She gets weird when I bring girls home. It's embarrassing. William: Wait. You've brought girls home? How many times? Was it zero times? Anyway, I know Mom can go overboard sometimes, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that. Mordecai: Just… Is there a time I can come by when Mom won't be home? William: Well, she does have Puncher-cise tomorrow night, but-- Mordecai: Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming. William: Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman. Haven't in 25 years. Except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student. Then you lie. Otherwise, no lies! Mordecai: Just don't tell her! [The next evening… Mordecai and C.J. arrive at Mordecai's family house and enter the front door] Mordecai: Dad, I'm here! William: [cheerfully] Ah, there's my boy! [shares a hug with him] Mordecai: Hi, Dad. William: And you must be C.J. I'm William. C.J.: [shakes hands with him; honored] Nice to meet you, sir. William: Please, call me Will. "Sir" is my boss's name. Unfortunately, Mordecai's mom isn't around at the moment. Mordecai: Mom's not here?! Darn it! Life's so unfair! Oh, well. Next time or whatever. Anyway, I'm just gonna run up and grab that tape so we can-- Hilary: [kicks the front door open, startling him, and enters the house; excitedly] Where's my little champion? Mordecai: Mom! [strained as she runs up to him and hugs him] You're home! Hilary: Of course I am. You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you? And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over, I decided to take the afternoon Punchercise class so I could run right home to see you two. [Mordecai glares annoyingly at his father] William: [shrugs] 25 years, no lies. Hilary: [meeting C.J.] And you, wow! Gorgeous! C.J.: Yep. I'm smart and funny, too. Hilary: And modest. She's the whole package. [Mordecai and C.J. walk upstairs to his bedroom] Mordecai: [opens the door and they enter] Here's my room. C.J.: Whoa! Yep, yep. You can tell a lot about a man from the room he grew up in. Hilary: Is C.J. a vegetarian? Mordecai: That's what you called me down for? No, Mom. No, she isn't. Hilary: Oh, good! She can have some of my prized meatloaf. Mordecai: Can you just be normal? Hilary: Normal? Mordecai: Yeah, normal. Ever heard of it? Let's not go nuts here, okay? Hilary: Don't worry. Let me show you the dessert. [shows him a cream pie topped with berries spelling C.J.'s name and he gasps mortified] See the berries spell out-- [Mordecai quickly scarfs the pie with his bare hands] Hey! Stop! What are you doing?! Mordecai: [with his mouth full] Sorry. It just looks so good you know? I couldn't wait. You still got it, Mom! Hilary: You're lucky I have… a backup! [shows him a gelatinous dessert of C.J.'s likeness] Think she'll like it? It was hard to get all her features. Gelatin is such an unforgiving medium. [as Mordecai quickly runs back upstairs to his room] But luckily, I got a bunch of her photos off the Internet. [2 1/2 hours later; Mordecai, his parents, and C.J. are eating meatloaf for dinner at the dining table…] William: He kept running and running. Hilary: And he shoots the ball into the other team's basket! [C.J. and Mordecai's parents all laugh while Mordecai pounds his fist on the table and groans in embarrassment] Hilary: [laughs] Oh, memories. I've been collecting them, you know, C.J. C.J.: Yeah. [playfully elbows Mordecai] I'm collecting a few interesting ones myself. Hilary: No, I mean on tape. It's called "Mordy Moments." [the words echo into Mordecai's head; Flashback… she holds a cassette reading "Mordy Moments" while Mordecai, William, Uncle Steve, and Aunt Maxine are all sitting on the couch] Okay. Who's ready for some "Mordy Moments?" [inserts the cassette into the VCR and sits on the couch with her family] Baby Mordecai: [covered in spaghetti] Pasketti everywhere! Hilary: Pasketti on your tushy. Hilary: You know, you two should stay for a bit longer. We could eat the special dessert I made for C.J., then we could watch the tape! William: Now where did I put it? Hilary: I think you put 'em in the basement. Kid Mordecai: Dude, C.J. does think you're cool. But girls don't date guys who are jerks to their mom. Mordecai: You're right, guys. Thanks. I needed that. C.J.: This is way cooler than a mix tape. New Bro on Campus [6.02] Muscle Man: When I first met Hi Five Ghost, I couldn't stand him. [Flashback to South Tree High School] You see, back in high school, I was the most popular guy for miles. Daddy Issues [6.03] C.J.: [turning dark grey with anger] HOW DID I MISS THAT SHOT?! [angrily throws the putter out of the golf course, breaking someone's windshield] It was so easy! Mordecai: Whoa, whoa, CJ. No need to get upset. Rigby: It's just mini golf. Eileen: Is something the matter? C.J.: I can't help taking mini golf seriously. It kinda runs in the family. [sighs] My dad is Carl Putter. Mordecai: Whoa, Carl Putter? The world champion mini-golf pro? Eileen: That explains so much. Rigby: Wait, so your last name is Putter? C.J.: No, that's just his mini-golf name. Look, it's not something I really like to talk about. Growing up with a mini golf legend as your dad, well… it can be pretty tough. Terror Tales of the Park IV [6.04-05] Mordecai: You're dead, dude. Benson: What?! Rigby: Yeah, man. Don't you remember? [In another flashback, Benson hangs Halloween decorations on a ladder at the top of the stairs. Mordecai, holding up the beast mask, and Rigby walk up] Mordecai: Benson, look at this mask! Benson: Aah! [Benson falls down the stairs and dies. His ghost leaves his body] Rigby (voice-over): You've been haunting the house for months. [Benson's ghost scares Rigby while he's eating cereal. When Rigby screams, Benson flees as if he's also scared. The same happens with Mordecai while he's carrying a box up the stairs. Cut to Mordecai and Rigby in the hallway, with Rigby trying to open a bottle of soda] Rigby: No, dude. It's "lefty locky, righty relaxy". Mordecai: That doesn't even rhyme! [Benson's ghost appears again. It sees Mordecai and Rigby and moans in fright as he leaves. The flashback ends] Benson: Then what are you guys doing here? You've ruined my office! Mordecai: We're not in your office. This is our office. Rigby: We got promoted! Mordecai: And this isn't our office. [screen zooms out from Mordecai's face] It's a cemetery. [points down as lightning strikes] And that's your grave! [Cut to Benson's tombstone, which reads "R.I.P. BENSON. 'YOU'RE FIRED'". Benson falls to his knees next to his tombstone] Benson: NOOOOOOOO!!!! Eileen: And somehow this just got creepier. [Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen run toward the window, but Wyatt stops] Eileen: Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?! Wyatt: [He looks at his reflection in a mirror] He might not be trying to kill us. And I really need a haircut... Mordecai: What?! You look fine! Let's just go! Wyatt: [He backs up into the hallway] No. He might be cool. I'm gonna chance it! [He runs toward the barber] Eileen: Wyatt, no! [Wyatt and the barber's shadows are cast on the wall] Barber: What'll it be, sir? Wyatt: Just a little off the top. Barber: You got it! [laughing maniacally] [Wyatt's severed head rolls into the morgue] Wyatt: How does it look? [Mordecai, Rigby, CJ, and Eileen scream] Wyatt: Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it? Muscle Mom: You know who else likes scaring people? [takes off the mask, revealing her face] ME! [pushes herself through the window; the guys scream in horror at her appearance and run out of the trailer] Wait, Mitchy! You forgot your candy! [with mouthful of candy] Happy Halloween! [howls; unzips the costume, revealing the real her] Ha! This costume gets my boys every year! The End of Muscle Man [6.06] Mordecai: You havin' fun, buddy? Enjoying your wings? Muscle Man: Honestly, bro, they taste bittersweet. But I just wanted to have them-[sadly]-one last time. Rigby: [covering his eyes] I can't watch. Benson: [places his hand on Rigby's shoulder] Don't look away, Rigby, look at him! Look at this…Muscle Man! This guy, from who we've all learned so much--from this guy, his joke telling, his loyalty… Hi Five Ghost: [near-crying] I never wanted to be anyone's best friend, until I met you. Muscle Man: You guys… Benson: [stands up] No, let me finish! What we'll remember most about you more than anything else is- [holds in a vomit] Excuse me. Your passion, Muscle Man. Your passion! If you'll all join me. [after Muscle Man proposed to Starla and start kissing] Mordecai: Wait, so Muscle Man was fine this whole time? Muscle Man: I'm as healthy as can be. Rigby: Then what was all the stuff with Dr. Henry? Muscle Man: I just had to make sure I was fit enough to keep up with this she-lion. Thanks a ton, you guys, for helping me finish my bucket list. Benson: [enraged] "Thanks?!" I BLEW TWELVE GRAND ON YOU TODAY! Hi-Five Ghost: Do you even know what you put us through?! Mordecai: Yeah, Muscle Man! We all thought you were gonna die! Muscle Man: What are you talking about, bro? Rigby: You had an appointment with Death! Benson: You had to get your papers in order?! Muscle Man: My toilet papers. I had to fold 'em into little triangles so my place would look nice for the after-party. Death: [enters] And I'm only here to deliver his aunt's ring from the underworld. Mordecai: Not cool, Muscle Man. Muscle Man: Oh, come on! This is textbook engagement story. You shed your bachelor self before you get married and be a husband. All that death stuff was a metaphor. Benson: [grabs Muscle Man by the shirt] "I LEAVE THIS WORLD TONIGHT" IS NOT A METAPHOR!! Muscle Man: Ohhh. Oh, I see what you're saying. Sorry about that. Rigby: Next time you die, you're on your own! [Everyone leaves disgusted, save for Benson] Benson: [sternly] You owe me $12,000. [leaves] Muscle Man: [at Hi-Five Ghost] You get it, don't you, bro? Hi-Five Ghost: [beat, smiles] Best proposal ever! Lift With Your Back [6.07] Benson: We get it! (to Mordecai) It's a good thing you're here. I'm gonna need you to help Rigby change the lightbulbs. Rigby: Oh, I can do that myself. Benson: [sarcastically] Ha ha. Yeah, sure you can. Rigby: Yeah, I can! I help all the time! [Everyone including Catra and Scorpia laughs at Rigby] Rigby: Why are you laughing?! Catra: It sounds even stupider the second time! Seriously? Tung Lashor? Pfft! Who came up with that? Scorpia: [chuckles] Right? It's like, what, did you lose a bet? Muscle Man: Yeah, bro, without Mordecai, you'd be totally useless. Rigby: Wha- Come on, Mordecai, tell him how useful I am! Mordecai: Uhh...yeah, I mean, you're fun. Rigby: What? No, tell him I'm useful! Mordecai: Yeah, you're my friend. Rigby: Why aren't you saying the word useful?! Mordecai: Well, I mean there was the time with the chairs, the limousine, the pretzel. You're basically the opposite of useful pretty much anytime we do anything. Rigby: But we did those things together! Mordecai: Yeah, I mean, you were there. Rigby: So the whole time I've been covering for you and CJ? Mordecai: Well, I mean, it's the least you could do. Rigby: The least...I could.....I quit. Mordecai: What? Rigby: I quit! I can get a paycheck anywhere! [Everyone laughs at Rigby again] Mordecai: Dude, you can't get a job without me. It's my references that got you this job in the first place. Rigby: Reference this! I'm gonna go out and get a job, and I'm gonna make money at that job. and that money's gonna come in the form of a check! And that check's gonna be in an envelope, and the envelope's gonna be sealed, and I'm gonna rub that sealed envelope all up in your face, Mordecai! PEACE! [Rigby makes a raspberry noise from the park all the way to the Local Temp Agency] Eileen Flat Screen [6.08] Announcer: Okay. Let me get a "honk-honk" in here 'cause you goosed (guessed) it! [a guy honks his horn and goose flies away] Announcer: It's time to announce the winner of the City College Modern Dance Competition. [pigeon flies by to give the man an envelope] Now, I don't want to "pigeon-hold" anyone, but first place today goes to Eileen Roberts with the dance "Chewed Gum"! [Eileen screams excitedly and the audience cheers] Announcer: To say you blew away the competition wouldn't be Ostrich (a stretch)! [Eileen squeals/screams again] Let's see how well you dance after a year of sitting in front of your very own flat screen TV! Eileen: [joyous squeal] This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Mordecai, Rigby, and CJ: Flat-screen! Flat-screen! Announcer: Thanks for coming everyone and for all of you losers today, don't Rooster (Brewster) on your laurels 'cuz there's always next year! Joanne: [off-screen] I knew it! Eileen: Joanne! I thought you were at the beach! Joanne: I was at the beach, until I realized something like this might happen! How could I enjoy the surf and sun knowing you could be here, messing with my TV? Eileen: I'm sorry! I didn't think it-- [gasps as Joanne smacks the remote of her hand] Joanne: [to Eileen; threateningly] Next time, that remote will be your face. To clarify, next time I'll slap your face. [End of flashback] Rigby: I didn't even make that up, that's exactly what happened. C.J.: Okay. [puts the snowglobe back in its place] So, I guess we shouldn't touch any of Joanne's stuff. Rigby: Yeah, I think we'd just put the flat-screen on the wall over here, it'll be cool. Mordecai: [looks closely at Joanne's TV] I can't believe she still has one of these junky old Hanatronics. This must be first generation it's so old. Rigby: I told you, she's a beast. Her TV's probably too scared to die on her. Joanne's Voice: I'll slap your face! [echoes] Joanne: [off-screen] What are you doing? Rigby: [turns around and faces her; frightened] AAHH! Joanne! Joanne: Did you touch my TV? Rigby: No. Joanne: [walks towards him and jabs her finger into his chest] You better not, because the hand that touches my TV, is a hand you'll never get back. And by that… I mean I'm ripping it off your body, and keeping it. Rigby: Look Joanne, I didn't- Joanne: What's that? Rigby: [covering the outlet] What's what? Joanne: [walks forward] Move it, shrimp. Rigby: No, wait! Joanne: [shoves him aside, notices the moved plugs] I KNEW IT! You mess with my TV, I mess with yours. [jumps onto the flat screen on the wall, takes it down, and runs away with it] Rigby: [worried] NO, NOT THE FLAT SCREEN! Mordecai: Joanne, stop! We can talk this out! She's already half way up the street! Rigby: [speaking through megaphone, to Joanne] We were wrong to touch your TV. Haven't you ever made a mistake? Joanne: The only mistake I made was leaving my TV alone with that no-respect mooch-wad Eileen. Grandpa Hanatronic: [gets out of the limo, angrily] Joanne, what have you done?! Joanne: Grandpa Hanatronic, I can explain! Mordecai: Wait, is your last name "Hanatronic?" Joanne: Uh, yeah, hello? Joanne Hanatronic, heir to the Hanatronic Television Dynasty? C.J.: [to Rigby] Did you know that was her name? Rigby: [shrugs] I just thought it was a weird coincidence. The Real Thomas: An Intern Special [6.09-10] Mordecai: Rigby, staff meeting! Did you go in a pizza pouch bender again last night? Come on! Rigby: Last night? [gasps] Thomas! Benson: Guys, it finally happened. I met the perfect girl. Her name is Natalie, and she's a preschool teacher. I'll be showing her around the park today. So your only duties are to leave us alone. Just leave me and Natalie alone, people. [Rigby raises his hand] Benson: No, you can't use the bathroom, Rigby. Rigby: That's not what I was gonna sa— Mordecai: [interrupts Rigby] You know, Rigby has a point. What about Audrey? Benson: We broke up. Remember? [Everyone can't remember] Pops: I don't recall. Benson: I was sad for months? I loafed around the house? [scoffs] Muscle Man and Pops, you took me to get ice cream. Skips, you made me train for that marathon. In fact, all you guys had a role in my lengthy healing process. Skips: I don't remember any of this. Benson: [yells] SECOND ORDER OF BUSINESS! [calmly] Today is Thomas' last day. Now keep this under wraps, guys, 'cause I want to surprise him. At the end of the day, I'm offering Thomas a full-time job! [Everyone cheers except Rigby] Muscle Man: Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see look on his face when he sees how I prank the new hires! Skips: You know, we don't normally hire interns. But Thomas is really killing it lately. Killing it in the Park! Rigby: I KNOW WHAT I HEARD! Rigby: That's not true! I never did that stuff even though it was my responsibility. Muscle Man: Like I said, I get it. […] I used to kick the leaves everywhere after I rake them so Benson might think you were slacking off. Mordecai: Maybe he's in here? [sees Pops and Skips tied up and gagged] Mordecai and Rigby: Pops! Skips! Rigby: Whoa, what happened?! Benson: What're you guys doing here? And what room is this? What's all this stuff? Rigby: We don't know, but we're pretty sure Thomas has something to do with it. There was a guy in the cupboard, and pretty sure he did that too! Mordecai: I think we stumbled on something really big. Benson: What guy? What are you talking a—? [Natalie enters the room, clapping slowly] Natalie: [Russian accent] I know you Americans love the ironic slow clap. Benson: Natalie? What's with the accent? What is all this? Natalie: I am not Natalie! I am... (takes her clothes off) Natalia! And I am not lowly preschool teacher! I am Russian spy! Mordecai & Rigby: Whoa! Natalia: So clever, you Americans — only took two years to figure out things at park were not what they seem. And I am not only one right under your ignorant noses. One of your own has been conspiring against you. Benson: What?! Who would do that?! Natalie, you're acting crazy! Natalia: Oh, sweet Benson. Why don't you let him tell you yourself? Nikolai! [Thomas enters the room; Benson, Mordecai and Rigby gasp] Benson: Thomas, why'd you step out when she called for "Nikolai"? Nikolai: [Russian accent] Because my name is not Thomas. It is Nikolai. And I am Russian spy. [The guys react in shock in finding out that Thomas/Nikolai is actually a Russian spy; End of Part 1, beginning Part 2] Mordecai: Dude, for real?! Nikolai: [clearing throat] Yeah, I am Russian spy. Rigby: Oh, snap! Now we're all boned! And guess who didn't believe me? You, and you, and you, and-! [Natalia punches him in the arm, silencing him] Natalia: Silence, rat! Mordecai: [heartbroken] Thomas, how could you do this to us? Rigby: [betrayed] Yeah, man. Nikolai: It's my job, guys. The White Elephant Gift Exchange [6.11] Mordecai: Man, which one should we give him? Rigby: I don't which one's worse. Benson: All of them. ALL OF THEM! Put all of them together, NOW! Merry Christmas, Mordecai [6.12] Mordecai: (imagining Margaret and CJ meeting each other at the Christmas party): CJ, this is Margaret. My girlfriend. (the ground gives way beneath him) I mean, my ex-girlfriend. (the hole gets deeper) I mean, a girl I kissed a bunch in the past who's my friend. (the hole gets even deeper) Should I stop talking now? (Screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups) CJ: [disgusted] I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai! Margaret: [also disgusted] Yeah, way to make things weird! Mordecai: (screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (Flashback ends) Mordecai: (In reality) NO!! Sad Sax [6.13] (CJ drives Past the Park and sees Mordecai and Margaret hugging and slams on the brakes) CJ; (Toots Her car horn) OH, COME ON! Mordecai: (sees Her) Huh? CJ! (Getting mad, CJ puts Her foot on the acelerator and drives off) Mordecai: CJ! Wait! I can explain! It Was just a hug! Margaret: Sorry Mordecai, l better Go before l Somehow Make Things worse. Mordecai; Bye. Sad Sax Guy: Man bummer week, huh? No offence, but your Game could use some serious tweaks brother. Mordecai: (Angrily grabs Sad Sad Guy) YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! Sad Sax Guy; What did l do? Mordecai: I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ART AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN! I DID EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME, AND IT JUST MADE EVERYTHING 10 TIMES WORSE!!!! Sad Sax Guy: (In realization) Ahh! It's true! I'm a total Fraud! I don't know nothing About nothing. (Breaks down in tears) I just tell people what to do to Try to feel like a big man. I don't Even know how to play This thing except for one song! And l wouldn't Even Know That If My mom had forced me to go take a lesson! I'm a hot mess! (gets an idea) Wait, of course. Mordecai, that's it. Your mom? Mordecai; (Angrily) Dude, are you calling My mom a hot mess!? Sad Sax Guy: What? No, no, l mean go ask your mom for advice, Brother. They know everything. Especially When it comes to women. Mordecai; (sympthically puts his arm around Sad Sax Guy's shoulder) Dude, That's the only good advice you ever gave me. Park Managers' Lunch [6.14] Mordecai and Rigby Down Under [6.15] [Benson in his office writing on a paper, then his phone rings and he answers it] Benson: Hello, this is Benson. Voice: Will you accept a collect call from... [Mordecai and Rigby are panicking on the phone for help] Benson: [sighs] Accept. Mordecai: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, Oh, my gosh! We're in trouble, man. Benson, we're in Australia! Benson: Haha, very funny, guys. Listen up, I missed you at work yesterday. If you don't come in Monday, don't bother coming in at all. [hangs up] Rigby: What did he say? Mordecai: If we don't come in to work on Monday, we're fired. Rigby: Aw, man. Mordecai: Dude, come on. We need to get to an airport. Married and Broke [6.16] I See Turtles [6.17] CJ: Where do we turn off next, Eileen? Eileen: (while looking in her bag) Hold on, let me check the directions! (finds some trail mix) Trail Mix? Oh no! This is my recreation bag! I left the directions in my school bag by mistake! Rigby: (Takes the trail mix from Eileen) Wump-wump! (eats the trail mix) Sea Turtle: Let's see if these pigs can fly. Hank: Huh? Sea Turtle: Do you see what I did there? Format Wars II [6.18] Happy Birthday Song Contest [6.19] Sheena: [singing while squatting down facing her posterior] Baked a real fine cake, it's gonna make you shake. Baked a real... Benson's Suit [6.20] Benson: [woefully burying his stained suit] Suit, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me feel... [eats chicken wing] alive, full of... power, full of strong...ness! To you, suit—may we meet again in the next life. Benson: This is either a miracle or I've gone insane. But who cares? I look good! Suit: [spoke] "You sure do, Benson." Benson: Thanks. Wha?! Who said that? Suit: "It's me, Benson, the suit." Benson: You... can talk? Suit: "I can do many things." Benson: Why didn't you say anything before now? Suit: "I wanted to be certain that you were worthy. Incompetence aside, you showed me that you cared about me when you tried to clean that stain. I was created for a dark purpose, Benson. To be a status symbol for evil men—evil, mysterious, powerful, handsome, wealthy men. But after these last few days, I've realised that I would rather be worn by someone with absolutely none of those qualities. I want to live a simple life as the suit of a simple man. You are that man, Benson." Benson: Cool. Suit: "I'll never leave you, Benson. Also, if you're interested, I have a few ideas for keeping Mordecai and Rigby in line." Benson: Let's go manage a park. Gamers Never Say Die [6.21] Benson: MORDECAI AND RIBGY!!!!!!!!!!! 1000th Chopper Flight Party [6.22] Mordecai: [gasps when he looks out and sees CJ on the ground, looking devastated] Uh, I can't be here, I-I gotta hang with CJ. [takes off his seat belt and stands up] CJ, hi! [the chopper jerks, making him lose balance and fall on Margaret's lap] CJ: [furiously annoyed] Oh, come on! [turns grey] Did you think I wouldn't find out, that you could just make a fool of me forever?! [turns into a full on storm cloud and flies up towards the chopper] This is the LAST TIME! Party Horse [6.23] Men in Uniform [6.24] Rigby: Hey, Benson, what's with the fancy spread? Benson: Mr. Maellard said he needed to give an announcement this morning. You know, you all could learn a thing or two about boss appreciation… [Mr. Maellard's limo suddenly crashes through the sweets; sighs and facepalms as Mr. Maellard gets out of his limo] Mr. Maellard! How nice of you to visit us today. Mr. Maellard: No time for bollocking Benson. Take a seat. As you all aware: Park attendance has been declining for years. With no visitors, I'm basically just paying you boys to babysit Pops at this point. Pops: And they're doing a bang up job. Mr. Maellard: With that in mind, I've decided to shut down the park. [The guys all start complaining] Mordecai: No visitors?! Well, what about, uh, that guy? [points to Huge Head and everyone looks at him] Huge Head: Wait, not yet! Mr. Maellard: One ugly guy, plotting revenge on my son for the last four years isn't enough to keep the park open. You guys all had a good run, but I'm afraid you're all fired. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go rig a yacht race. Benson: What's the secret?! Why does East Pines get visitors when we don't?! It's the uniforms, isn't it, Gene?! Gene: [sighs] Yes, Benson. It's the uniforms. Benson: Well, guys, this is it, our last day, so I don't know, rake some leaves or something. Garage Door [6.25] Benson: (whistling, sighs) How many times do I have to tell them? Close the garage door when you're finished painting it! (shuts the garage door) What the...? Didn't I just close that? (opens the garage door, then closes it then growls) Pops: Coming through! Benson: Pops, no! (Pops' car crashes into the garage door) Pops: Bad... show. Benson: MORDECAI & RIGBY!!! Rigby: Pops, are you okay? Pops: (groans) Optical illusion. Fireman: Don't worry, sir! Thanks to the jaws of life, you'll never get trapped in an enclosed space again. Mordecai and Rigby: Whoa! Rigby: Where'd you get that? Fireman: It came with the truck. Benson: What were you two thinking?! Rigby: It was just a joke! Mordecai: Yeah, we were going to paint over it after our break! Benson: Well, how's this for a joke? Buy a new garage door by the end of the day or you're fired! Brilliant Century Duck Crisis Special [6.26-6.27] Not Great Double Date [6.28] Death Kwon Do-Livery [6.29] Lunch Break [6.30] Benson: (Laughing calmly then turned angrily) Mordecai and Rigby: (Laughing) Benson: This sandwich cost me $85! Rigby: But you said we could order any sandwich we wanted! Benson: I did. I said that. Now listen to ME as I say this. If you two don't eat this entire sandwich by the end of the day, YOU'RE FIRED!! Dumped at the Altar [6.31]. Rigby: Hmm. You OK, dude? You seem a little on edge. You and CJ? Mordecai: What's to decide? I'm with CJ. We're happy. It's good. Rigby: Uh huh. Mordecai: (slightly annoyed) What? I said it's fine. Just leave it. Besides, no offense, dude, but what would you know about relationships, anyway? Rigby: Well, actually, smart guy, l -- Eh.. Mordecai: Actually What? [Rigby holds it in, trying to not tell the truth] Mordecai: SPILL IT! Rigby: [shouts fastly] EILEEN AND I ARE DATING!! [gasps while making a shocked face with opened jaws and drops his Coffee mug, breaking on the floor, Coffee spilled everywhere] Rigby: FOR LIKE, A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW!! [Cut to Mordecai's shocked Face] Rigby: WE HAVE MATCHING BRACELETS!! [shows his bracelet That reads "HIS ♥️."] Mordecai: Ah, dude! That's crazy! Why didn't you tell me until now? Rigby: We didn't want to shove our happiness down your throat too much. Well, I mean, I wanted to shove our happiness down your throat, but Eileen told me not to. Mordecai: Ah, dude. I'm happy too. I swear. Everything's fine. Mordecai: [interrupting] Muscle Dad is right! Finding the right person is hard. You know, for a while, I've been telling myself there's no such thing as soul mates, but now I'm not so sure. Look at Muscle Man and Starla. [pans to the couple as they look at each other] It's like they were designed for each other. [cuts to Mordecai with the wedding crowd in front of him] So where's my soul mate? Are they in this room? It could be anyone. [points towards Quips and Monica] Maybe it's you. [points at an old lady] Maybe it's that really old lady, I don't know! Benson: [whispers angrily] Why are you talking?! Mordecai: Oh, uh, right. My point is, I... [Looks over at Rigby, who's cringing at this display, and signals him to hurry up and leave the podium] Mordecai: [stammers] I don't know if there's one perfect person out there for me, but I know that for a long time, I've been ignoring my gut. [cut to CJ, who’s look of shock turns into a glare] Because I didn't wanna hurt anyone, but instead of saving their feelings, it's just made everyone around me miserable. For the first time, I'm gonna take Rigby's advice. [walks over to CJ] CJ, I need to tell you-- CJ: [stands up in an embarrassed manner] Mordecai, just stop! I already know what you're gonna say, so save it. Mordecai: I-- CJ: (tears welling) You don't know who your soul mate is? [Mordecai is speechless.] CJ: (sighs) Here. (She hands him the charm bracelet from "Real Date") You didn't even point in my direction. [She runs from the altar crying] Mordecai: CJ! Muscle Man: [angry] Yo, Mordo, if you're finished hijacking my wedding, is it okay if we get married now? Starla: [angry] The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can start up these fryers! Mordecai: Oh, uh, sorry. (runs off) External links Regular Show Category:Regular Show seasons Category:Children's television seasons