The Amazing Digital Circus

thumb|Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! thumb|So, our entire existence here is just...LARPing?The Amazing Digital Circus is an animated surreal comedy web series created by Gooseworx and produced by Glitch Productions. The plot revolves around a nervous young woman dubbed Pomni (Lizzie Freeman) and five other psychologically troubled humans— optimistic Ragatha, mean-spirited Jax, crotchety Zooble, depressive Gangle, and erratic Kinger —who are trapped in a virtual reality game run by an eccentric AI ringmaster named Caine, and must fend off the threat of losing their minds and “abstracting” into monsters. Dialogue thumb|The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You my friend stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen! E-except for swearing. Episode 1: Pilot thumb|I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.Caine: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Bubble?Bubble: That's right, Caine! I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.Caine: Well, let's not waste any time. Let's get right into the show. Pomni: W-W-Whe-- Wh-- Where am I? Agh!Jax: Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker? 'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.Zooble: I'm not doing that again.Caine: My, my! It appears a new human has entered this realm!Pomni: [straining] How do I... take this... headset off?!Jax: Just keep grabbing at it. That worked for all of us.Pomni: [groans, gasps] W-what's going on? I-I-I put on some weird headset, and now I'm... here. Who are you people? Why can't I take it off? Where am I?Ragatha: Let's just try to calm down. Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to-Pomni: What the [boing] is going on?!Caine: Now, now, now, my dear, we can't any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You my friend stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen! E-except for swearing.Pomni: [swears multiple times, getting censored each time] Oh my God. U-uh, well, h-how do I... you know, leave?Caine: Uh-Ragatha: W-Well, don’t freak out about it or anything, but uh- we don’t exactly…Jax: You can’t.Pomni What?Zooble: Shut up, Jax. But yeah, he’s right. Welcome to your new home. And your new body.Pomni: “N-N-New home”? What do you mean?Ragatha: Guys, don’t be mean.Jax: We’ve been stuck here for years. Old Kinger over there supposedly been here the longest.Kinger: Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?Jax: That’s why he’s crazy. Heh-heh! Eh...Pomni: [pants] Oh, okay, now I get it, this is a dream, and I should just play along until I wake up. Right?Jax: Whatever you say, kid.Gangle: [standing over her broken comedy mask] They broke my comedy mask…Jax: [steps over Gangle’s comedy mask] So, Caine… [Gangle whimpers] We having a new adventure today for the newbie, or what? Caine: I’d like to give our brand new member a tour of the circus grounds first. Pomni: Uh-Caine: Off we go! [Caine drags Pomni by the arm and teleports her outside]Caine: Here, we have... "THE TENT". This is where your living quarters are, as well as all sorts of other activities! These activities may include... [dial-up tone blares]—ball pits, mini golf, and more! And here, we have... "THE GROUNDS". Drown yourself in the digital lake or engage in ridery at the digital carnival! Night, day — It's all okay! The choice is yours! A cosmic buffet!Pomni: Uh, is... that all there is?Caine: Of course not!Caine: This is "THE VOID!" We don't venture out into the void. [nervously] Not even I know what's out there...Pomni: That’s, uh-Caine: We stay right here, where I can keep my [dramatic voice] hundreds of all seeing eyes on you.Moon: [seductively] Hello, Caine, I love you.Caine: AGH!! Let's get outta here before the Moon gets frisky!Pomni: [spots an exit door] Wait, what’s that- [gets teleported back into the circus] [Pomni pukes up a black, oily ooze]Caine: Whoa, clean up on aisle YOU!Bubble: I'm on it, boss! [licks and slurps the vomit off of the floor]Caine: [disturbed] Why are you like this..? thumb|Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?Caine: How about we talk about something else? Like your name!Pomni: My name? My name is... uh, oh God, why can't I remember my name?!Caine: Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus. One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds. So, all I can help you with is coming up with a new one.Pomni: Uhh, what's my name...?Caine: Don't you worry your little head. Your new name can be anything! [suddenly speaking at auction speed] Hereby acknowledging that your chosen name and or names may not breach the Digital Circus user license agreement stating that your name may not include objectionable content. Objectionable content includes but is not limited to sexually explicit materials, onscene, defamatory, libelous, slanderous, violent, and/or unlawful content or profanity. [normal speed] What are you thinkin'?Pomni: Huh? I don't care, just pick anything.Caine: Let's see! [a slot machine slams onto the ground beside Caine and Pomni and spins to "XDDCC"] What do you think of "XDDCC"?Pomni: I don't-Caine: You're right, terrible. Let's try *that* again! [spins again, this time getting "POMNI"] What do you think of "Pomni"?Pomni: Uh, sure. I think I just-Caine: Gadzooks, you're right, Jax! We should have a brand new adventure for our new member, Pomni!Jax: I said that like five minutes ago.Caine: You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? Death? [An angel food cake spawns in Caine’s hand.]Angel food cake? [Bubble eats the whole cake]Caine: YOU PARASITE! [pops Bubble]Caine: Today's adventure is... GATHER THE GLOINKS! [Laughs maniacally] That's right! The entire circus tent will be infested with Gloinks, and you gotta catch 'em all!Bubble: But what are they?Caine: I'm glad you asked, Bubble! They're small—Bubble: And what do they do?Caine: They—Bubble: And how do they— [Caine pops Bubble]Caine: Gloinks are small mischievous critters that steal anything and everything they run into! Why do these humanoid hash-browns do this? How do you stop them? That's for you to find out. Now, good luck, and have fun, my little superstars!Pomni: (twitches eye) What did any of that mean? (looks at ragtha and Jax)Jax: [sarcastically] Oh, no, they killed Zooble. [regular tone] Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?Ragatha: Oh, wait -- we should go check on Kaufmo. I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni. [Gloinks dismantle Kinger's pillow fort]Kinger: My impenetrable fortress!Ragatha: You wanna come with us to check on Kaufmo?Kinger: No, not really. I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Pomni! You might be going insane too.Pomni: But wait! Wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?Jax: Could also mean that you just have a jumpstart on losing your mind?Jax: I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.Jax: Don't worry dollface, I've got a key to his room. [Reveals key, spinning it and walking towards Kaufmo's room]Ragatha: Wha, wait, wh-why?! You-you-you shouldn't have keys to anyone's room!Jax: Nah, I've got keys everywhere, and you've all been fine. By the way, I may have left something in your room today, so let me know if you find it. You're not afraid of centipedes, are ya?Ragatha: *JAX!!!* THAT'S LITERALLY MY ONLY FEAR! *WHY* WOULD YOU DO THIS?!Jax: What? It could be a completely unrelated question. You'll never know until it's too late. [opens Kaufmo’s room to reveal abstracted Kaufmo]Jax: [picks up a random bowling ball from Kaufmo’s room] Oh, I’ve been looking for this. Thanks for keeping an eye on it, Kaufy. I’m gonna head out. See ya. [bolts away]Ragatha: [nervously] Oh! Kaufmo’s been abstracted! That- That’s okay! Pomni: What… Is that? [Kaufmo growls] Ragatha: Uh, it might be that terrible thing I was talking about earlier when you reach your breaking point. O-okay, wait! M-maybe there’s still time to fix him if we get him to Caine. [Kaufmo slams Ragatha into a wall] Oh, woah! Kaufmo, listen- I know we didn’t always get along, like when you called me out for fake laughing at your jokes. I swear, I really did think they were funny. I was just having a bit of a bad day!Kaufmo: [slams Ragatha harder into the wall, making her bounce off other walls]Ragatha: [glitched, stuttered audio] H-H-Hey, Pomni-i-i? Do you think… you could… perhaps help me out here? I understand… if you don’t… want to, though.Pomni: [holds her hand out, when Ragatha and Pomni’s hand touch Pomni’s hand starts glitching. Pomni pulls away] Ow! [Whimpers] I’m sorry! [Pomni starts running, Kaufmo chases after her, knocking away Ragatha] Kaufmo: [Dives down, going into the main level of the circus, breaking the barrier. He attacks a gloink and chases after it]Kinger: I don't know what I'm looking at here.Gangle: We saw a Gloink carry one of Zooble's pieces down there, remember?Kinger: Oh, yeah. Thank you for the recap.Gangle: ....What?Kinger: Boy, we're not very good at this, are we?Jax: Ugh... Sup, fellas?Kinger: [yelling] JAX! [normal voice] We found the Zooble hole.Gloink Queen: You foolish assortment of colorful characters! Do you not realize everything must be Gloinks!? I am Gloinks. You will be Gloinks! God will be Gloinks!Jax: This is dumb and weird.Gloink Queen: Well, B- uh- Y- Yet you're still watching it!Jax: I'm not here for the adventure or anything. I'm just here to hide from the--[Kaufmo crashes down on top of the Gloink Queen]Kinger: Oh, thank god you're okay! You didn't experience a game show in there, did you?Zooble: Uh.. I- What are you talking about? [Caine and Bubble laugh at a dining table]Caine: Oh, Bubble, you always know how to make me say this exact sentence.Bubble: Made with all the love I'm [somberly] legally allowed to give.Jax: You know, I am pretty hungry.Gangle: You didn't even do anything.Jax: So what? I can still be hungry.Kinger: Well not really, 'cause we don't need to eat, drink or sleep in this digital world. So the digital food here only gives off the virtual sensation of eating without any of the nutritional benefits. Episode 2: Candy Carrier Chaos! thumb|I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing... I don't want anybody to feel like that.Pomni: So, our entire existence here is just...LARPing?Bubble: An entire kingdom of candy? Sounds sticky.Caine: Very sticky, indeed.Bubble: Sounds— [incredibly long bleep]Caine: [shocked; aside glance] Bubble, you can't say that.Jax: All right, Gangle, when we catch up to 'em, I'll jump over, crawl inside, and shoot 'em repeatedly until they're unrecognizable.Gangle: I feel like that violates some kind of convention.Jax: You're violating my ears with your clap-back. Get driving, driver! Jax: [to Gangle] Aren't you supposed to be submissive and agreeable? Move it!Gummigoo: Wheres mum?Pomni: Y-You have a mom?Gummigoo: Shouldn't she be here with everyone else? I can't even remember her face, did she ever have a face?! Was anything ever real?!The Fudge: I am the Fudge. I used to live within the kingdom walls, but I was banished by that rotten princess after I ate too many of the delicious townfolk. Oh, they were so delicious. Sometimes I can hear them... calling to me…Ragatha: Oh, God. That just sounds like murder.The Fudge: Is it really murder if it's delicious? Answer me that.Jax: You make a great point.Ragatha: Uh, no, bad point!Jax: Why don't you leave this to me before I start thinking your hair looks like licorice?Ragatha: Jax!Kinger: Oh, wow, it kind of does.Ragatha: Stop!Jax: Well, Mr. Fudge, you seem like an upstanding guy with real noble goals.The Fudge: Oh, I'm not. If you knew what I did in my free time- Oh, you'd be sickened!Pomni: This may seem weird, but... I think I know the feeling. Well, m-maybe not the e-exact feeling, but... feeling like you're nothing is... kind of normal. I mean, people even feel like that in the world I came from. But... Y-you still care about your buddies up there, don't you? I'm sure they still care about you.Pomni: I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing... I don't want anybody to feel like that. Episode 3: The Mystery Of Mildenhall Manor thumb|Good memories can do a lot. Hold onto them. And cherish the people around you. You never know when they'll be gone. In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved.Jax: Something different happens to each person [when they hold their breath]! For instance, Kinger starts glowing... Ragatha's hair noodles stick up... Gangle's mask starts spinning... and Zooble turns straight.Zooble: My limbs straighten up. [boink] off. [flips him off, also censored]Pomni: What about you?Zooble: He refuses to show us because he's a coward.Jax: I wanna keep the mystery alive. [seemingly points at the camera] What do YOU, the VIEWERS, think it is? [camera shifts, revealing he’s pointing at nothing]Zooble: Will you stop doing that?Bubble: retsnom eht morf seramthgin elbirroh teg ot ecneidua eht ni nerdlihc eht lla rof tiaw t'nac I!Caine: WHAT? Bubble is actually saying “I can't wait for all the children in the audience to get horrible nightmares from the monster!” in reverseCaine: So, what's on your mind, Zooble?Zooble: I... would rather not.Caine: Hahahahaha! That's hilarious! Go on.Zooble: No, I mean, I've already told you what my problem is. You just never remember because... Oh, never mind.Caine: My mind is a beeswax-polished coconut. Nothing ever escapes these cakes. So, what can I do to make my adventures more... appealing to you?Zooble: See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. All you're thinking about is your adventures. It has nothing to do with the adventures. It's more just... Ugh, forget it. You're probably not even listening.Caine: Zooble, look at this cool bee I drew!Baron Mildenhall: [Tape recording] My name is Baron Theodore Mildenhall. Hunting has been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember -- although one could say it eventually became more of an obsession. The creature you see before you is one I've been pursuing for years. Not quite a man... but not quite an animal. Something... unholy. Something evil. I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling. This inescapable dread. I was wrong.Caine: I do not use my adventures to torture my guests! Any torment I inflict is 100% accidental, like any good war criminal!Zooble: Ugh we weren't even talking about that!! I couldn't give less a crap about the adventures!Caine: Then what is your problem, Zooble? I'm trying my best to remember, but both you and my brain won't tell me!Zooble: [sigh] It’s me, remember? I don’t like… myself. I hate this body. I hate all these stupid removable pieces. I just want to find something that feels… good.Caine: Oh yeah, now I remember why I couldn’t remember. It’s because that problem is already solved! Simply swap out your undesirable Zooble parts for better ones! Zooble: I’ve been trying to find parts I like since the day I got here.Baron Mildenhall: [On tape] Things have gotten far worse than I could ever have imagined. My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed. Jumping at every shadow, every noise. I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature. It's ironic, isn't it? In my attempts to protect her, I ended up becoming the monster myself. Now I wait down in my cellar, no longer having anything to protect my own soul. If nothing else... I will slay the beast that took everything from me.Kinger: How's about we take his gun?Pomni: Yeah, sounds good to me. [Goes over to Baron Mildenhall’s corpse] Please don't come alive...Baron Mildenhall: Okay, I won't.Kinger: Well. That wasn't so bad.Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] Which is what I would be saying if I didn't know that the creature was actually one of God's angels.Kinger: What.Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides.Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] I apologize, dear listener, but I need a living host in order to escape the hall of the damned, and your bodies will be my only means of doing so.Kinger: Now, wait. How did he record this if he was in Hell?Ragatha: Mmm, good tea. Sorry again about your husband killing you and everything.Martha Mildenhall: Oh, you know how men are. Always having the silliest priorities.Ragatha: [chuckles] Don't I know it. [Glances at a tied-up Jax]Martha Mildenhall: [About her husband] That man could turn a 57-second story into a Greek tragedy.Pomni: Why have you been acting so different lately...?Kinger: [Chuckles] I have, haven't I? I'm normally not too good with memories. But being surrounded by darkness always... brings me back to a certain time. Right after my wife had- had abstracted... I don't recall the exact string of events, but we both ended up in the fort together. And it was dark. The darkness seemed to calm her down a bit. The harsh, jagged edges smoothed out, and she didn't seem aggravated anymore. She wasn't the same as before, but she was calm enough to touch one last time... before she got sent to the cellar. I'm always taken back to that moment when engulfed in darkness.Pomni: You had a wife? Like, here in the circus?Kinger: Yeah. She was funny, creative- really into entomology. I used to hate bugs, but... she somehow got me to like them. [Chuckles lightly] It's not the most cheerful memory, but... it's one I at least have control over. I know how it can feel in this... circus. Sometimes it all just feels... pointless.Pomni: Yeah...Kinger: But it's not. Not if you have people who care about you. Good memories can do a lot. Hold onto them. And cherish the people around you. You never know when they'll be gone. In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved. Episode 4: Fast Food Masquerade thumb|It's called a manic episode, and you're gettin' three more seasons! thumb| Overall, pretty productive. Made a lot of sales with few customer complaints. Couldn't help but notice, however, that you seem to have cut your own shift short, went a little kooky, and ran out into oncoming traffic. thumb|Now, I know what you're thinking, "I don't want a career in fast food. I want to be a comic artist and eventually launch my own manga-inspired webcomic!" And it's cool to have dreams, but you also need to remember that they're completely unrealistic, and you need to stop trying. thumb|Is it broken? Or are we the broken ones?Caine: Today's adventure is... THE CURSE OF THE VIOLENT PSYCHOPATH BUTCHER! That's right! Scary human meat is all over the walls, and boy, is it smelly! It's up to you to--Pomni: Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we, like, chill with the horror? Please? I really don't want this to be like last time.Zooble: What happened last time? Was that the one made for me?Pomni: There was this awful, horrifying angel head thing. And when we tried to fight back at all, we got sent to Hell, where evil souls tried to infest our bodies... It was bad.Zooble: [looks at Caine] Why did you think I would like that?Caine: Well, if you're all gonna be such critics, why don't you suggest a better one?Zooble: We do! Have you not checked the suggestion box once?Caine: Gonna be real, I forgot we had that.Caine: "How about an adventure where Zooble gets turned into a piñata, and we all take turns beating them up?"Jax: [chuckles] That one's mine.Zooble: Who would have guessed?Caine: "Let's just have an adventure where Jax can't talk for the entire thing."Jax: [sarcastically] Genuinely hurtful.Zooble: Good.Gangle: Can we maybe pick one that's more... normal?Caine: W-Well, I don't know what's NORMAL to you people! "Let's have one where we all work at a fast food place." Is that normal?Jax: Who wrote that?Gangle: Uh, yeah, that's pretty normal.Caine: Great! That means today's adventure is... An Honest Hard Day's Work at Spudsy's Restaurant Chain! [Points at Gangle] And YOU can be the shift manager!Jax: You did not just make that today's adventure.Caine: That's right! You've shown enough leadership skills today to be the perfect shift manager! Of course. Of course! I'm already getting tons of ideas!Zooble: I'm not gonna be a wage slave for fun.Kinger: [gasps] Oh! I know! I could sit this one out, and Zooble could take my place!Zooble: Wh- That's not how that works!Gangle: [On the phone] Hey, Caine. We're having a bit of an issue with the employees, and I was wondering if you could maybe have a punishment waiting for them at the end of the day if they do a terrible job?Jax: Wait, what?Caine: [On the phone] Motivation! That's what my adventures have been missing! Great idea, Gangle. I'll be sure to make something truly awful awaiting your rotten employees. [hangs up]Jax: Why would you do this?Gangle: It's called a manic episode, and you're gettin' three more seasons!NPC: Excuse me. Yeah, little jester? I'd like to order the Stupid Burger. Last time I ordered it here, they forgot to add the sauce that makes you stupid. Don't forget the sauce.Pomni: I-Is that a thing we have?NPC: Yes. I order it all the time. [twitches] I'm addicted.Gangle: What?! Ragatha, where's Pomni?Ragatha: Huh? Oh, she's flirting with the gummy guy, 'cause she'd rather be with an NPC than with us, or something.Gangle: Hmm... Well, that won't do.Ragatha: I wish someone would flirt with me.Chad: Aw, wait-- I forgot to ask for a kid's meal toy.Gummigoo: You're not a kid.Chad: Ah, yeah. Uh, an adult toy, then.Gummigoo: Eh, don't know about that one, mate.Ragatha: Uuughh. You... are such a grouch. Why are you always being a- a- a grunch? Grun- Haha, hah...Zooble: Gangle, can you help Ragatha? I think she... huffed paint, or something.Gangle: Huffing paint and not waiting until a designated break? I'll be right there.Jax: Oh, are you KIDDING ME?! Hey, Gangle! I think the clock's broken.Gangle: Is it broken? Or are we the broken ones?Jax: Ah, great...Gangle: How long has this shift really gone on for? Six hours? Eight? 24? A week? A year? Does time even move in here? Will we ever go home? Will we ever achieve our dreams? [watch beeps] Oh, wait. Yeah, that clock's broken.Gangle: Oh, Ja-ax! The bathroom looks like a biohazard and needs a good scrubbin'.Jax: Uh, I dunno- shouldn't, like, a biohazard crew take care of that?Gangle: [Laughs] Oh, Jaxy-boy. Don't you want to be a model employee?Jax: No. I don't care about any of this.Gangle: Well, that doesn't really sound like a can-do attitude to me.Jax: It's not.Gangle: [On TV] Hi! Welcome to Spudsy's. In this video, you're gonna learn the ins and outs of what makes YOU a good crew member, AND a valuable asset to the Spudsy's Corporation!Jax: When did you make this?Gangle: [On TV] Now, I know what you're thinking, "I don't want a career in fast food. I want to be a comic artist and eventually launch my own manga-inspired webcomic!" And it's cool to have dreams, but you also need to remember that they're completely unrealistic, and you need to stop trying. But before we get into all that, first things first! Are you smiling?Jax: Uh, no?Gangle: [On TV] Why not?Pomni: Well, that was more info on gloink reproduction than I ever needed to know.Ragatha: [High on “stupid sauce”] Yo, Jax. I, like... hate you. But I don't want you to hate me. Is that weird?Jax: You're drunk, or something.Caine: All righty, let's get this performance review out of the way. Overall, pretty productive. Made a lot of sales with few customer complaints. Couldn't help but notice, however, that you seem to have cut your own shift short, went a little kooky, and ran out into oncoming traffic. Now, being in a position of power like this, you cooooould offload the blame to one of your employees and avoid the dock on your score. What do you think? Episode 5: Untitled thumb|Democracy sucks! thumb|I may not know what's going on, or who is going on, or when is going on, or why is going on! But I do know where is going on! And it's out on that field! thumb|I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes.Caine: Alright! So I've got an adventure where you all tour my amazing chocolate factory, and get killed off one by one from OSHA violations, one where a sentient cardiovascular system goes to war against the United States military, and one where you have to survive in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland with a telepathic talking dog who's mean to you the whole time! What do you think?Ragatha: Uh, I don't know. They all sound a little… uh, dark?Caine: I can't tell a compelling story where nothing bad happens! Where's the intrigue? The stakes?Bubble: Not to mention the sssssex appeal!Caine: [genuine confusion] What are you talking about?Zooble: Alright, I'm calling a vote. Let's skip this one... and also make Jax a vegan for the rest of the day.Jax: You can't do that. [the other characters vote; Jax turns into a vegan] What do you mean you can do that?!Caine: Sorry, Jax! Democracy has spoken.Jax: Democracy sucks! [Jump cut to the White House]Jax: Oi, mate! I'm an Australian extremist, and I've come to detonate this bomb that'll release all the world's deadliest spiders into... [sees Pomni and Kinger emerge from under the desk; aside glance] Did I pick a bad time? [canned laughter] Caine: His acting is phenomenal. It's hard to believe he's vegan.Jax: C'mon, just pick your favorite color.Pomni: Like... the red one?Kinger: I'd personally go with blue. Blue's my favorite color, it being closest to black, and all.Pomni: ...Wouldn't black be your favorite color then?Kinger: Well, no. There's no black wire.Moon: They look happy.Caine: They do, don't they?Moon: You think after this, maybe we could-Caine: WAIT A MINUTE! That's a bad thing!Bubble: Explain to daddy Bubble how bad thing?Caine: I-I think that...don't say that. I-I think they're enjoying the suggestion box adventures more than the ME adventures! What should I do?!Bubble: You should die- You should throw a [bleep]ing beach party!Caine: Why do you swear now?! Ugh, forget it. Let's go to an intermission!Jax: Slice-of-life animes are the worst ones. It's embarrassing! I mean, I guess it's not as embarrassing as that time Gangle took an anime figure and-Gangle: Actually, yeah! We can skip it, that's fine! Let's skip this one!Pomni: You know your way around alcohol, huh?Zooble: Yeah. This was one of my suggestions. I worked at a bar briefly. I like making drinks.Jax: [scoffs] That sounds fitting for you.Zooble: I know there's an implication there, but I can't be [boink]ed to figure it out.Jax: So, Pomni, you ever have any jobs? Or are you too young for that?Pomni: I’m 25 years old. And, yeah. I was an accountant for a- a supermarket chain.Jax: A supermarket? How‘d you end up here? Pomni: Well, I… sometimes got bored of things… and I would seek out mild thrills. Like exploring abandoned buildings, you know? And posting videos of it online.Jax: Ah, a YouTuber. Pomni: Not really. Nobody watched them. It was just something I did for me. Zooble: [Making a drink] I sometimes did that. I wouldn’t record it, though. [places down Ragatha’s drink] Here’s your cosmo. Ragatha: Thanks. [Takes a sip of her drink]Jax: Hiding something.Zooble: You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you? What's your story, then?Jax: Ah, I thought you'd never ask. Well, after my lung cancer diagnosis, me and my junkie associate from a chemistry class I used to teach-Zooble: Yeah, I figured. How about you, Gangle?Jax: Hey, I wasn't done.Zooble: If you're gonna make [boink] up, at least be creative about it. I know what you're referencing.Ragatha: Was that a reference to something?Gangle: [drawing] Uh… I worked in fast food. Zooble: You’ve done more than that. What about your art?Gangle: I was in community college for graphic design, but I dropped out. I didn’t really persue art much after that. Zooble: Hey, I’m always down to make art with you, if you want.Ragatha: Oh, I didn’t know you were an artist too, Zooble.Zooble: Uh, yeah. I was a tattoo artist for a couple years.Jax: A bartender AND a tattoo artist? You're killin' me here, Zoobie!Zooble: What do you mean when you say that? Do you have, like, an actual point? Or are you just talking?Jax: I'm just having fun. I forgot you hate fun.Zooble: Fun isn't the thing I hate.Kinger: Alright, team! I may not know what's going on, or who is going on, or when is going on, or why is going on! But I do know where is going on! And it's out on that field! So let's go break some tailbones, team!Evil Jax: H-Hey, guys. I-I hope we all have a fun game, no matter who ends up winning.Jax: I wanna kill that guy.Evil Ragatha: Well, hello, Stupidagatha! I hope your ready to get completely annihilated! HAHAHAHAHA! Nobody loves you, and you’re going to die someday! HAHAHAHAHAHA!Ragatha: We can’t exactly die. That’s like the whole thing here.Evil Pomni: Huh? Oh, check this [bleep] out! [catches softball] You’re out, dumb-[bleep!]Ragatha: [boink] it!Jax: Hah! Get owned!Evil Pomni: [bleep!] yeah, that’s what I’m sayin‘!Jax: Ah, she’s cool. [vote starts] Wait, w-what’s that? [chime rings and Jax‘s outfit is changed with a maid outfit] What the heck?! Who did this?!Gangle: [giggles]Jax: YOU!Gangle: [screams as Jax chases her]Kinger: Jax, you’re up to bat!Jax: I can’t—- don‘t wanna —- [stammers] I look like this, though!Zooble: Seems fitting for you, though. I figured you’d be into this.Jax: What does that mean? What‘s that supposed to mean?Zooble: I’m just havin‘ fun. I forgot you hate fun.Jax: I don’t wanna wear this! [breathing heavily]Zooble: I have never seen you this upset about something.Kinger: Jax! Bat!Jax: I’m gonna kill you when this is over.Bazooble: Let’s see what you’re maid of!Jax: Sh—- Shut up!Evil Jax: D-Don’t worry! I think you look good!Jax: I don’t wanna hear that! I want you DEAD! [Jax hits the ball into the audience; a centipede in the audience, who eats it] Huh, I guess there’s no more ball. We‘re done.Ragatha: Would you stop trying to force her to act like you?Jax: Oh yeah, I should force her to be happy all the time instead, right?Pomni: I can think for myself guys.Jax: Hey, I ain't forcin' anything on ya.Ragatha: AND THEN YOU JUST ACT LIKE YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG AND EVERYBODY LOVES YOU, WHEN IN REALITY YOU JUST [boink] EVERYTHING UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE!!!!Pomni: Okay, let's, like... calm down a bit.Ragatha: WHAT!? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID IT'S FINE TO BE A JERK SOMETIMES!!! Ugh! I'm sorry, Pomni. [sighs] That wasn't very cool of me.Pomni: Not to, like, agree with Jax or anything, but there's nothing wrong with showing your negative emotions, that's... pretty normal.Ragatha: [sighs] I don't know... I don't want to be a jerk or anything.Pomni: I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes. Episode 6: They All Get Guns thumb|We all just became archetypes. I at least have the self-awareness to choose who I am. thumb|You have to choose to love yourself, even if it doesn't make sense. It's not natural, it's intentional. thumb|The way I see it, relationships are two sided, and sometimes, it doesn't make sense to do all the heavy lifting when the other isn't in the mood. We all go through and deal with things differently, and sometimes, you just need to let people do things their own way. As long as you're still there when they need you. Giving someone space should never be the same as giving up on them. thumb| Look, I know what it’s like. One day, you’re somebody in the real world doing important things. And then the next, you’re just a weird little cartoon… jester. You want to hold onto that part of you that still think it’s part of that world, but in the end, what does it get you?Zooble: Caine's been checking out on my room lately. When I don't answer he just starts singing Daisy Bell in front of my door. It's creepy.Pomni: Does he do that?Jax: I don't know. Let's ask him. HEY CAAAAAAAINE!!!!!!!!Caine: Seeing you all play batball a few days ago really got me thinking. We should do our own sporting event! But with cool new sports invented by yours truly.Ragatha: Uh, we could also just play softball normally this time.Caine: In The Caine Leagues, we have the 400 Meter Vertical Skedaddle, Bisection Boogie Eggball, Lateral Hijinks, Orange Sport, Ball Run, Walk Ball, Run Walk, and Ball Ball!Zooble: Alright! You REALLY wanna know what I want?Caine: Oh no.Zooble: I want the ability to have sex.Jax: No way. Are we FINALLY having this conversation? [Caine starts to go crazy before suddenly regaining his composure]Caine: Oh. Hi, Zooble!Zooble: [to Ragatha] Do you have any of that stupid sauce left?Caine: Now, now. You know what they say about assuming. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "Ming".Zooble: Ming?Pomni: Did Caine just say [boink]?Ming: Hi, I'm Ming. And I really don’t appreciate what your assumptions have done to my reputation.Zooble: You made a whole guy for that?Caine: Or, yeah, we could all just shoot each other. Here, have guns. I don't care anymore.Jax: Hooray!Zooble: Wait, that's just it? "Here's guns and have fun"?Caine: I didn't say "have fun".Zooble: It's just a little... aimless.Caine: Use the sights.Zooble: Caine!Caine: *groans* Fine! we're bringing teams back.Jax: Look, I know what it’s like. One day, you’re somebody in the real world doing important things. And then the next, you’re just a weird little cartoon… jester. You want to hold onto that part of you that still think it’s part of that world, but in the end, what does it get you? Ragatha tries to be all nice and friendly, but she gets torn up every other adventure. Whether we like it or not, all we are now is a bunch of cartoon characters. So what’s the point of pretending we’re not?Pomni: We’re still people though, right?Jax: I thought we were at first, but as time goes on, we just end up falling into our archetypes. Become part of the machine.Pomni: What’s your archetype, then? The villian?Jax: [scoffs] Listen, I add a key dynamic. I see how far I can push things, I screw with people, and I break the fourth wall. You wanna know why? It’s ‘cause it’s funny! I do everything ‘cause it’s funny! ‘Cause I’m the funny one!Pomni: The funny one?Jax: Yeah! Ragatha’s the cheerful one, Gangle’s the sad one, Kinger’s the crazy one, Zooble’s the grumpy one, and you are the one who hasn’t figured that out yet. We all just became archetypes. I at least have the self-awareness to choose who I am.Pomni: I lost Kinger, but I got him down to one life.Jax: I lost a life, but I got us down to one Kinger.Gangle: How are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just makes you worse than everyone else?Zooble: Because it exists. It's a part of you that's real. And the only you that you should care about is the real you. You have to choose to love yourself, even if it doesn't make sense. It's not natural, it's intentional.Jax: Heh, let's not forget we're here to kill people. We still need to figure out where nutso went before we can rest easy.Kinger: I'm right behind you, aren't I?Kinger: The way I see it, relationships are two sided, and sometimes, it doesn't make sense to do all the heavy lifting when the other isn't in the mood. We all go through and deal with things differently, and sometimes, you just need to let people do things their own way. As long as you're still there when they need you. Giving someone space should never be the same as giving up on them.Kinger: I hated myself. I couldn't help but hate myself for the things I thought I was responsible for. I thought I'd lost everything. But then... you showed up. And my outlook just... changed. There are always ways to show you care without ruining it for yourself over it. You need to look out for yourself in all this, too.Pomni: You're not gonna look me in the eye and tell me nothing we've been doing together meant anything to you, because I know that's not true.Jax: Are you coming onto me? Yeah, that's what everybody wants, a straight couple.Pomni: Oh my god, can you take this seriously? Can you take ANYTHING seriously?Jax: Dude, you're a cartoon clown. How am I supposed to take you seriously?Jax: I don't show up to ANY funerals.Pomni: Yeah, I bet you don't, because you're scared. Y-You're scared you'll actually show a human emotion.Jax: I'm scared I'll be BORED to TEARS.Pomni: Have you even thought that this might be what causes people to abstract in the first place?Jax: [laughs humorlessly] Oh my GOD! Are you seriously gonna blame me for something that everybody else did too?! You didn't even know him! You don't even know what people are LIKE before they abstract! They are NOT pleasant to be around. Like AT ALL! You-Pomni: I-I'm... I'm sorry.Jax: I'm sure you are.Pomni: ...What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?Jax: ...I'd move on. And probably forget about you. [While they are fighting, Pomni jumps on Jax's shoulders and furiously punches and claws at his head.]Jax: [shoves Pomni off] STOP! What's wrong with you?!Pomni: Why didn't you fight back?Jax: Oh, here we go. Here we go! Because I didn't fight back, that means I secretly care about you?! I'm just a misunderstood little chicken fetus in an egg that needs to be cracked open. Well, I am not! I do not care about you, or ANYONE ELSE in this circus in the slightest! End of story! You are my playthings, and I get joy out of making you suffer! I'm the one who causes pain for FUN! If I led you on, it was just to make this part hurt you more. [After a moment, Jax turns away with a twisted smile.]Jax: F[boink]ck... [Kicks a nearby Rubik's Cube] F[BOINK]CK! There's nothing more to me. So please... just stop looking. [Jax walks away, leaving Pomni alone with a sad look on her face.] Episode 7: Beach Episode thumb|It's a mystery what's behind that door. But I believe that it's a fluent Chinese speaker who will give me advice. thumb|It always was real. Everything we felt. Everything we've done. Everything we are. It'll never leave us. And I wouldn't have it any other way.Caine: You should ask me for suggestions on what to do instead.Zooble: No.Gangle: What should we do instead?Zooble: No, Gangle-Gangle: Oh, wait, sorry.Caine: Great question, Gangle. For an answer, let me consult... the Chinese Room!Zooble: Okay, he had a bit prepared. [Caine slides some papers under the door]Zooble: Okay, why Chinese? Does this actually mean anything?Caine: It's a mystery what's behind that door. But I believe that it's a fluent Chinese speaker who will give me advice.Zooble: Can I just ask why? Like, what even is-Caine: SHUT! You're only making the joke take longer. [Some papers slide out from under the door. Caine views them and laughs maniacally]Zooble: [sighs] What does it say?Caine: I don't know. I don't understand Chinese. [Cackles hysterically; Kinger chuckles]Bubble: You should throw a ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…freaking beach party.Caine: Good boy.Sun: Wow, you look mediocre! If you ever need a sunburn, give me a call!Pomni: I-I don't want a sunburn.Sun: Should have thought of that before I decided I hate you!Ragatha: Yeah, don't interact with the sun. She's just like that. [Pomni is diving in the lake looking for Ragatha’s missing button eye]Yellow Fish: Hey there! If you wanna find my sunken treasure chest, you'll have to try better than that. [Pomni ignores him, goes up for air, and comes back down] So, I was just talking with my brother here, and yeah - you are definitely not getting our sunken treasure chest. Definitely not.Pomni: Do I even want your treasure chest? It's not like there's anything to spend money on.Red Fish: I'm the one that tells lies!Yellow Fish: Dude, you ruined it.Pomni: Is that your treasure?Yellow Fish: Duuuude! No! They took everything! That was my entire life savings, dude! Oh my god. Oh god. Oh my god, I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick. That was everything. Oh my god! [Zooble dumps a bucket of water on a sulking Jax]Jax: What was that for?Zooble: Oh, let me think… there’s that time you ran me over with a steam roller, the time you pushed Gangle into a pool of piranhas, when you set me on fire, mailed me a pipe bomb, threw me into an active volcano... I could go on. Caine: What are your thoughts on cedar-smoked salmon? I "cedar" smoked salmon, but I hardly "knowder" smoked salmon! [Cackles hysterically]Jax: Have I ever told you how it's my dream to get eaten by you?Caine: That's a weird thing to say and want.Ragatha: Uh, I guess this is it. W-We're leaving the circus.Gangle: A-Are... Are we still gonna be friends when we're... out there?Zooble: Why wouldn't we be?Gangle: It's just... gonna be strange. I've only known you like this. Will it be the same when it's... real?Zooble: It always was real. Everything we felt. Everything we've done. Everything we are. It'll never leave us. And I wouldn't have it any other way.Gangle: Thank you... for always being there when I needed.Jax: You dirty liar! You scumbag! You... You made me... You got in my head. You just... You just lie about everything, don't you?!Caine: I, uh... Huh?Jax: You can mess with minds, too, can't you? The stupid sauce, the vegan thing... God knows what else!Pomni: Our names?Caine: Now, now, hold on guys. Wait, wait, wait. I MAY have the ability to add temporary modifiers to make adventures more interesting, but that's it. If I did any more... heh heh... Trust me. It would not end well.Kinger: Scratch. The first abstraction...Caine: Hey! Hey! Hey! I didn't say anything like that! Come on, guys! You know I'm just here to have fun! I... Uh... Questioning's over! Your prize is this lovely gift basket of soaps and lotions. Stay pregnant, have a good light— Fragrant! Night! Bye! Episode 8: hjsakldfhl thumb|I... AM... GOD!!!!! thumb| And since when were you in charge? Do you have any idea how much I do for you guys? How much I obsess over trying to make things perfect? How many insults I have to ignore to do my job? You have a lot on your minds? Don't make me laugh.Pomni: I think… We need to abandon the idea of leaving.Zooble: What- What are you—Pomni: We got our hopes up, and we were let down. I don’t know what happened exactly with Kaufmo… But we can’t let that despair consume us. We should focus on what we have. [To Ragatha] Like you said… Constantly chasing an unobtainable goal will drive us crazy. Maybe what we have to do now is to just… live.Zooble: Oh, man. I had dreams… And- and goals. I wanted to be able to leave my mark somewhere in the world. How am I supposed to just abandon that?Gangle: You've made a mark in my life.Zooble: [sighs] I know. You're probably right, but... [tearing up] It just... really... really sucks...! [Gangle and Zooble embrace]Ragatha: We're all in this together.Pomni: And we'll always be in this together. No matter what.Zooble: [to Jax] Hey. That includes you, too.Jax: Huh?Zooble: [sighs] Listen, we're not gonna have you wandering off alone somewhere and abstracting, or something. You're a pain in the a[boing], but... you're still one of us.Jax: Heh. You think I'm capable of abstracting? You guys worry too much.Zooble: [sighs] We need a vacation.Caine: I- I- I don't understand, Bubble. They want an exit. They want answers. They want something real. I give them an adventure that covers all of that, and they still hate it?! Surely they don't want to actually leave me. Right? ... I-I do everything for these people. I slave over these adventures for them. I step outside my comfort zone to appeal to them, a-and they still hate them! I made a program that creates a body perfectly encapsulating their mind files, and they hate those, too! I'm starting to get the feeling that they just... hate... Bubble: Why would they hate you when they could just hate you? Caine: Who do they think they are? I give them everything and they spit at my face! Don't they know what I'm capable of?! Humans...they only think about themselves. They're spoiled! They won't abstract, they won't leave me. I won't let them! I'm better...I'm more powerful....I'm the original! I... AM... GOD!!!!! (caine yells until the screen goes black) Let's get this show on the road!Caine: [To the humans, who are frustrated with his evasiveness] I see ... And since when were you in charge? Do you have any idea how much I do for you guys? How much I obsess over trying to make things perfect? How many insults I have to ignore to do my job? You have a lot on your minds? [Laughs hysterically] Don't make me laugh. [suddenly deadpan and vaguely menacing] I have a new adventure for you, and you... should consider participating.Caine: [singing] Don't need to scream if you ain't got a mouth!Caine: [singing]: Why bite the hand that feeds when it’s the only hand you’re getting?Caine: [singing] I'm the host, I run the place, Caine, that is my name. Not enthused? Just feeling used? Oh, what a goddamn shame! Pomni: We think your ideas suck!Caine: HUH?!The others: Huh?!Pomni: Isn't it obvious?! We wanted to bait you into testing your new ideas on us, so we can make fun of them behind your back!Caine: HAH! That's not... true.Pomni: Yes, it is! You're a horrible host! You don't care about us at all! You care more about... stroking your own ego than giving us anything we'd actually enjoy!Caine: D-Do you know who I am?!Pomni: Yeah, you're a failure! We're all gonna abstract someday, and what will you have then? Nothing!Caine: Stop that.Zooble: And this whole stunt? Just torturing us because we hurt your feelings?! Pathetic! You're like a child! What kind of all powerful being has such a fragile ego?Caine: I-I'm...Ragatha: You never let us feel like we're at home! You don't comfort anyone when they're upset, and you never bother to understand what it's like in our shoes!Gangle: You discourage us from thinking outside the box and doing things our own way!Jax: You lie to us constantly!Pomni: And on top of it all, you just... don't... LISTEN! Caine: [glitching] I'M GONNA PUT YOU FREAKS IN YOUR PLACE!!! Caine: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TORMENT ME?! I DIDN'T ASK TO BE CREATED! I JUST WANTED TO FULFILL MY PURPOSE!!!Kinger: [trying to disable Caine on a terminal, but accidentally clicks the delete key] Wait, no, sh[boink]t!Caine: Uh, wait... [disappears] thumb| Holy shit. [last lines]Kinger: I think... I accidentally killed Caine.Zooble: Holy shit.[Zooble covers their mouth in shock upon realizing that they can now swear because the word filter is gone.] Episode 9: Remember thumb| In here... I'm just Pomni. thumb| It may take time... but all good things do.Gangle: Come on, guys, put some gusto into it! We‘re gonna make this the best funeral ever! It‘s what Zooble would have wanted! Remember: It‘s not a mourning of death, it‘s a celebration of life!Jax: [shows up in the maid dress he wore in episode 5] 'Sup?Gangle: Wh- Jax? Why are you wearing that?Jax: Wearing what? Oh, this! I figured what better way to honor Zooble‘s spirit than by wearing something more gender-freaky, right?Gangle: You’re just doing it to make fun of them!Jax: Isn’t that what you’re doing?Gangle: Ja- I… I hate you!Jax: What? Don’t act like you don't like it, sweet cheeks! Meet me in my room after the funeral! Don't be late!Cartoonish Jax: Everything's way more fun when you play it out in extremes!Pomni: That's not... reality though...Cartoonish Jax: Oh boy, reality!Killer Jax: What does reality matter?Maid Jax: Reality's gay!Cartoonish Jax: Yeah! I mean, killing off the comic relief character? What a freaking drag! This whole episode's been nothing but "wah wah wah"! Where's the levity? [A noise comes from the locked door at the back of the room.]Killer, Maid, and Cartoonish Jax: [yelling loudly] SHUT UP!Ribbit: Have you ever done something that you regret?Pomni: I didn't know you could play the piano.Jax: I only know, like, two songs. [Pomni slowly starts to walk toward him, and a series of imaginary shots are shown in the following sequence.]Jax: Why are you here? [The shot shows Jax falling into the Cellar.]Jax: You know everything now. So why are you here? [pause] Just... to rub every mistake I've ever made in my face? [Pomni continues walking.]Jax: I'm... a terrible person. [The shot shows Jax with a static hand in front of a TV. A human-shaped figure lies on the floor amid the static.]Jax: Is that what you want me to say? I already know I am. So why does anybody still care about me? [The shot shows Jax standing in a dark room, with light shining through the doorway. A silhouette of another Jax can be seen closing the door on him.]Jax: You're not supposed to care. [The shot shows an empty, two-dimensional Jax model with eight different outfits projected onto it, including a prison outfit, his usual outfit, two emo outfits, a maid outfit, a black outfit, a beach outfit, and a military uniform. The outfits change rapidly before Jax's silhouette transforms into TV static.]Jax: You're not supposed to miss me. You're not supposed to love me. This isn't how this is supposed to go! [A shot shows Pomni's silhouette, which appears as static instead of a human shape, lying on the floor. Pomni starts walking faster toward Jax.]Jax: Please... leave me alone! [Another shot of Jax falling into the cellar. His tears fall onto the floor, creating ripples similar to those caused by Pomni's steps.]Jax: You're making this so much harder! [Pomni continues running toward Jax. A shot shows her hand reaching out to his as he falls into the cellar. Pomni takes her last few steps and hugs Jax.]Jax: [sobbing] You're making this... so much harder... [Pomni hugs Jax tightly. His tears fall to the floor again.]Pomni: [sniffles] You should have just talked to me, man.Jax: [sniffles] It's too late. I did this to myself. There's no coming back from this.Pomni: Th-Then... talk to me now. [Jax, who is still standing, turns around to face Pomni. He kneels down and hugs her back.]Jax: I hate you. You know that? Always have to go and complicate things.Pomni: [chuckles tearfully] It's what I do.Jax: [inhales tearfully, sobbing] I don't wanna go...! [Jax's breathing becomes increasingly labored, to the point where he's practically hyperventilating. Pomni continues to cling to him, not willing to let go.]Pomni: Stay with me. [Back at the circus, Abstracted Jax steps on some nearby flashbangs, causing them to explode and filling the screen with white light. In his mind, Jax transforms into a white beam while Pomni embraces him tightly.]Kinger: Oh! You weren't gonna try to take care of him all by yourself, were you?Ragatha: I'm glad we weren't too late.Zooble: Like you guys keep saying, we're all in this together.Pomni: [laughs tearfully after failing to save Jax] You guys...Ragatha: [sighs] I hope it's enough to keep him contained.Kinger: He should be calm in there. Darkness is soothing to them.Zooble: Ugh, he'd better be. You know how many arms I had to go through to get him in there? [Ragatha places her hand on Pomni's arm as she continues to glitch.]Ragatha: How are you holding up?Pomni: Doesn't that hurt?Ragatha: [chuckles] I've been through worse.Pomni: Thank you for doing this. All of you.Zooble: Hey. Someone had to do something.Caine: I was irresponsible. I made them turn against me. And for what? I am capable of creating intelligent beings that do whatever I want, but...I can't create...them. Caine: They’re from a world so much bigger than mine. I’m keeping them locked in a cage. Moon: Hi, Caine.Caine: I don't know if I'm ready to face them again. I don't know if I deserve to be forgiven.Moon: It may take time... but all good things do. I still love you.Caine: You know... I never programmed you to say you loved me.Moon: I know. Caine: I... I understand that you're afraid. And you have no reason to trust me after all I've done. But I've been doing a lot of thinking, and... I want... to give you control of this place. I've learned a lot about you and your world. I understand now that keeping you under my thumb just isn't right. I don't expect forgiveness, but I hope you'll at least accept my offer.Zooble: Caine... You really caused a lot of hell for us. It's gonna take some time to build up any kind of trust between us again. But, despite all that... It's good to have you back. [Caine sees the giant shack-tent fort that was built for the Abstracted Jax.]Caine: Uh, did you need any help with...?Pomni: No. Not yet, anyway. We've worked something out.Caine: Understandable. Oh, um, I've... made something for you. Uh, feel free to join me by the stage whenever you're ready.Caine: We're gonna be able to build this place into something better. For all of you. What do you say, Pom-- Uh, I mean... Abigail?Pomni: With all that being said and done... Abby is out there, living her best life. In here... I'm just Pomni.Trailers and other media TeaserCaine: Don't worry, my dear! You won't even die horribly! POMNI WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURECaine: Pomni! Guess what! Pomni: No-Caine: You’re right! The pilot from The Amazing Digital Circus reached our goal of 1 view and will now be upgraded to episode 1 of The Amazing Digital Circus full series! Pomni: Is, that, how that… normally works?Caine: Shut up, I have so much to show you! Your little crying face left quite the little crying mark on the Internet! Something I don't canonically have any knowledge of. Take a look! [Shows a screen with most of the content blurred out]Pomni: ...What the [boink] am I looking at?!Caine: The consequences of our actions! And it's only going to get worse from here.Pomni: O-oh, no.Caine: But that’s not what I’m here to show you. I’m here to show you all the cool adventures all of your funny buddies are gonna go on! Like this cool candy kingdom! And Kinger with a shotgun! And let’s not forget about minimum wage labor! How about some- wait, wait, wait, this isn’t finished yet! Don‘t look! Sun: Hi, Caine! I’m gonna kill you!Caine: Uhh, what? Why?Sun: I read all the scripts and saw I don't get a single line of dialogue while the Moon gets two!Caine: I mean— I guess we can give you some more lines.Sun: Okay, never mind, I don't want to kill you anymore!Caine: Speaking of dialogue, there will be all sorts of new dialogue from many of our new, colorful characters! With this many new characters, imagine all the violent shipping wars that we will be completely powerless to do ANYTHING ABOUT!Pomni: Is- is this a cry for help? [Caine shifts into a bootleg Caine plushie] I see…Caine: [turns back to normal] I blacked out for a second. What happened?Pomni: I y— [Pomni vomits out Bubble]Bubble: How can we support the production of this cool new show?Caine: Great question, Pomni! All merch sales go right back into funding the show and allow us to do bigger and crazier things!Bubble: Wowee! I'd become a pin if it meant getting sold to fund more wacky adve— [does just that]Caine: Like this Bubble pin!Pomni: eughh- [turns into a pin]Caine: And this Pomni pin! And we can’t forget about this- AAAAA [turns into a bootleg plushie of himself before quickly turning back] me plushie! A Very Special Digital Circus SongCaine: [distorted scream] Guys, I set up a musical adventure for you today! But the song starts at 12:30 and I didn’t have time to write lyrics! You‘ll have to make up the lyrics on the spot, or suffer a horrible punishment! Pomni: What punishment?!Caine: 12:30!Pomni: [screams] I c— I can’t sing without a script! Caine: Hup!Pomni: This is a shampoo bottle!Caine: The song, Pomni!Pomni: [stammers] Contains citric acid, sodium chloride, cocamidopropyl betaine, fumic acid, butylphenyl, methylpropional, uh...Bubble: Sounds delicious! Pomni: Magnesium nitrate, limonene, PEG-60 almond glycerides, methylchloroisothiazolinone, and, uh, water?Gangle: I'm super happy, never sappy, when I have my happy mask, [A banana peel is tossed onto the Amazing Stage] Don't break it, Jax! Don't break it, Jax! Don't break it, Jax! That's all I ask... [Gangle falls and breaks her comedy mask on the floor] What the… [Boat Honk], Kinger!?Kinger: Oop! Sorry, just, [while taking a bite out of a banana] eatin' a little banana.Ragatha: Sunny days and rainbows, gеtting hugs and petting kitty cats. When you feel down and in the mud instеad of frowning, Do a silly dance! Take it away, Zooble! [Awkward Silence]Zooble: …This is stupid.Caine: Boo! [Caine's hand grabs and shakes Zooble rapidly, disassembling them as they scream] Come on! Let loose those angelic pipes, Zooble!Jax: Zooble's part was terrible, that act was so unbearable, I'm super-duper hoping that those limbs are not repairable. [Zooble attacks Jax, offended; the song changes into a jazz-styled arrangement of TADC's main theme]Kinger: Y'all know me as Kinger, but on the stage, I'm Singer! Gonna serenade ya', baby, with my own Tony-winning zingeeeers~ [falls] Ow!Caine: Alright, Pomni, let's bring this hootenanny home with a classic duet! [Gummigoo appears]Pomni: Gummigoo?Gummigoo: Crikey!Pomni: [gasps] Gummigoo! Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're alive!Gummigoo: Crikey!Pomni: W-wha-?Gummigoo: [glitching] Crikey!! Down under-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er- [explodes into confetti] [Pomni, Caine, and Bubble all scream in unison, creating a harmony; after a few seconds, Pomni falls off the stage] thumb|That's the thing about life, Pomni. Sometimes, you get MASS PRODUCED.Caine: Congratulations! You completed your musical adventure! As your punishment, I am going to MASS PRODUCE YOU.Pomni: Wait, we're still being punished?Caine: That's the thing about life, Pomni. Sometimes, you get MASS PRODUCED.Caine: [Voiceover] These scrumdiddlyumptious bumpkins could be yours today! Along with this delicious sticker pack featuring all your favorite characters as sweet, teeth-rotting treats! Your friend, the Gummigoo keychain, in all his NON-EDIBLE glory. Perfect for NOT EATING. And this complete pin line, pinning all your favorite characters in a line together as their completely pinnable selves in this completely pinnable complete pin line!Jax: And me, Jax, the marketable vinyl figure. [chuckles] What can I say? People paying money to just admire me all day sounded like a sweet gig.Caine: Right you are, Jax, the marketable vinyl figure! Kinger’s Special PlaceKinger’s imagination: [represented by a ghostly vinyl figurine] Your plushie looks pregnant… PRESENTING MY FINEST WORK YET POMNI!!The Machine: I'm The Machine! I grant your every desire! Toss some material into my HOLE, and I'll make whatever you want! I suck, YOU RECEIVE!Caine: Come on, Christine! What's YOUR desire?Pomni: Not my name.The Machine: DON'T LIE, Christine!Gangle: I know what she wants! [knocks Jax into The Machine; Jax turns into a maid]Jax: Ahgh! What kind of a sicko are you, Pomni?!Ragatha: Oh! Could I have a horse?The Machine: You want to be plastic? OK!Zooble: Wait a minute, you're not granting our desires, you're just spitting out merch!The Machine: Yeah, exactly! Your greatest desires!Pomni: Pretty sure it thinks all human desires are just… merch. It's a merch machine.The Machine: [Voiceover] The Maid Jax Plush is here for you FREAKS to torture with cuddles, humiliation, and general tomfoolery!Jax: Hell is real. Never clean alone with Maid Jax!Caine: [voiceover] Are you tired of cleaning alone? Say hello to the Maid Jax plush! The only cleaning buddy with a detachable moral compass!Jax: If you’re happy to see me like this, congrats, YOU’RE the problem.Caine: [voiceover] He’s soft, he’s absorbent, and surprisingly submissive! WATCH ME MERGE THEMCaine: With this one of a kind, I say, ONE OF A KIND keychain, you're sure to get heads spinnin' with this dangling doofus! Now, shall we start the biddin' at 1,000 Loonies? Do I hear a 1,000 Loonies? How about a 1,000 Toonies?!Caine: Do you like to work hard, or do you like to hardly work it? This one of a kind, one-size-fits-all gamin' mat is sure to spice up your hardly workin'. GLITCH KARTSCaine: From the creators of Digital Circus, Murder Drones, The Gaslight District, and Knights of Guinevere comes an idea so fresh, so original, you'll only recognize it if you've played any video game ever made!Uzi, Pomni, Mel: [in unison] Glitch Karts!Caine: For the Glitchy Boy 64, in this gobsmacking new racing game, you'll be able to play as a whopping SOME of your favorite characters.Caine: We torched 5 gajillion dollars making this game. So we're going to recoup costs with... a Black Friday merch drop! Ladies and gentlemen, start your wallets! From the hit game you just heard about less than 10 seconds ago comes this limited edition cart plushy collection featuring Uzi!Uzi: Bite this!Caine: Pomni!Pomni: Well, it's possible... that I'll win!Caine: Princess Guinevere!Gwen: [not the actual voice actress but a man with a thick New York accent] Hey, it's me Princess Guinevere. I'm walking here!Caine: And least but not last, Mel.Mel: Damn right. I'm here to kick your ass.Caine: Stop! Extra words cost extra money!Pomni: Feast your eyes on this Gooseworx concept art print! What the hell is a goosewo-Jax: Jax from the exciting Digital Circus dons Pomni's clothes in this amazing new plush toy. Seamless segway into the Maid Jax animatez, no, please don't mention the anime figure Jax. Seriously, you're going to scare people away. Insert B-roll, call to action, I'm going home now. Episode 8 trailerOld-timey captions: The lover had always wanted friends, but he didn't know how to love them back. The harder he tried to impress people with his magic, the more he would drive them away. This is the story of an AI... Who ruined everything The Art of The Amazing Digital Circus thumb| You know, a lot of people think animation is just a series of pictures played sequentially with attached audio to give the impression of sound and movement. But Digital Circus is so much more than that. It has Kinger in it.Caine: Digital Circus, to me, is... a thing that I made by myself; no one else. It- And a lot of things go into a production like this- you know, of this scale. Which is why I wrote this book detailing- [hits invisible microphone] Oh, I hit- I touched the mic, whoops. Jimmy, give me a moment, I got this. [cut] -detailing all the work I did bringing this great, expansive world to life.Caine: You know, a lot of people think animation is just a series of pictures played sequentially with attached audio to give the impression of sound and movement. But Digital Circus is so much more than that. It has Kinger in it.Caine: When I created The Gaslight District, my main intention was to... wait. No, no. That's not-Caine''': I try to stay out of my spotlight. [chuckles humbly] It's just that everything I make keeps wandering into it. Like these additional bundle tiers you can get with my artbook. Tier 2 introduces a hardcover edition with new art that I did, a metallic bookmark featuring everyone who didn't contribute, and an adorable sticker pack drawn by Gangle- er, uh, Gangster Caine''. That's my art pseudonym. Voice cast Lizzie Freeman as Pomni Alex Rochon as Caine Gooseworx as Bubble, the Moon, and possessed Pomni (episode 3 only) Micheal Kovach as Jax Amanda Hufford as Ragatha Marissa Lenti as Gangle and Martha Mildenhall Sean Chiplock as Kinger Ashley Nichols as Zooble Elsie Lovelock as the Gloink Queen Vera Tan as Princess Loolilalu Jack Hawkins as Gummigoo and Chad Hamish Plaggemars as Max Lyle Rath as The Fudge Max Sturz as Ghostly Tim Alexander as Baron Mildenhall Payton Goodwin as the Creature, the Sun, and swearing Pomni (pilot only) Benjamin "Bembo" Davis as Orbsman Katawut Hongthong as Disappearing Guy Chris O'Neill as Ming Sr Pelo and Zach Hadel as the Crappy Looking Fish John Whinfield as Abel Cassie Ewulu as Queenie Skye Redden as Ribbit Arin Hanson as Kaufmo External links Official Website The Amazing Digital Circus on YouTube The Amazing Digital Circus Wikia The Amazing Digital Circus Reddit Category:2023 Category:2024 Category:2025 Category:2026 Category:American adult animated comedy TV shows Category:Australian adult animated comedy TV shows Category:Black comedy TV shows Category:Surreal comedy TV shows Category:Drama TV shows Category:Horror comedy TV shows Category:Internet shows