King of the Hill (season 15)

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 | Main King of the Hill (1997-present) is an American adult animated sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose head is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill. Failure to Hard Launch [15.1] Bobby: I was thinking, maybe after this, if you've got things covered, I could make a... special delivery. Emilio: Get outta here. Go see your girl. Bobby: Are you sure? Because I could stay. Emilio: You shouldn't work so much. When I was your age, I was sneaking outta my job all the time to see my girlfriend. And then I was sneaking outta her house to see my other girlfriend. And then they both found out, so I was sneaking everywhere. [as Hank and his friends try to figure out who owns an electric truck parked on their street] Bill: Tote bag, tote bag. Ooh! Maybe she was gonna go get vegetables at the farmer's market on the way home from work, because she's a busy professional single mom who gives her sons everything, except the one thing she can't- a male influence. Dale: Keep it in your pants, Bill. We don't know it's a woman. Hank: Dale's right. Dale: We don't even know if it's human. Hank: Dale's wrong. [after Chane fires Emilio for lying to him about dating Connie] Bobby: I'm so sorry. You're the Goose to my Maverick and I was saying that before they rebooted the franchise. Emilio: Still haven't seen it, but now I guess I have time. Bobby: I'll get Chane to hire you back. Please don't take another job. Emilio: Okay, but I can't go that long without working. Last time, I got really into ceramics and day drinking. Bobby: Sir, your son fired our best employee. Chane: Yeah? Well I should have fired you! ... Dad, fire Bobby! Bobby: If you're gonna fire anybody, fire Chane. All he does is bring his frat bros in for free sake bombs. Chane: All you do is sneak out to deliver snacks to my sloppy seconds! Bobby: Oh, we're going there? Chane: I'm already there! Bobby: Well I'm gonna go there too! Chane: Come on! Let's do this! Ted Wassanasong: Enough! Enough! I'm not a marriage counselor! Chane, you begged me to buy into this restaurant, and I thought, "Well, at least he doesn't wanna be a professional snowboarder anymore." But the best way to learn any business is from the ground up. I started in the mail room. Chane: Whoa, dad... you were poor? Ted: I thought it was helping you, but it's turned you into... this! Chane: Rude. Bobby: But true. Ted: You can't let this business fail, that's why you're going to take Emilio's place in the kitchen. Chane: Me? Bobby: Him?! [to Chane] You sure you don't wanna be a professional snowboarder? It is not too late. [as Emilio comes to rescue Bobby and Chane from the locked basement of the restaurant] Bobby: Emilio! My sweet, sweet man! Thank you for coming so fast. Chane: We need you back, man. You can start right after you let us out. Bobby: Really? Chane: Yeah. Working here sucks. You can have it. Emilio: I don't know. I'd love to come back, but I'm fielding a lot of offers from Michelin Star places. Chane: We'll give you a raise. Emilio: How big? Bobby: Twenty percent? Chane: Ten percent? Emilio: Twenty-five. I'm also gonna need a title bump to Executive Sous Chef, and on Thursday nights, my Steely Dan cover band gets to play here. Chane: I hate Steely Dan! I don't even know what genre it is. Bobby: That's the first thing we've agreed on all night. Is it jazz? What is it? Hank: So uh, how's Nancy liking her... truck? Dale: She likes it fine. John Redcorn installed a charger at his place. Fine by me. Let his electricity bill go up. I win again! Wingo! Hank: [his phone buzzes] Huh. Looks like Bobby and Connie are official. Bill: Awww. Boomhauer: Talkin' 'bout doin' dang ol' hard launch, man. Hank: Wonder why they took so long to tell us. [offscreen] Minh: NOOO! ANYONE BUT HIM!!! Kahn: DAMN YOU, BOBBY HILL!!! Care of the Dog [15.2] [as Peggy shows Hank a small dog she's fallen for] Hank: That's a dog? Rescue Shelter Associate: Ah, I gather you've met Caesar Salad. He's a two-year-old mixed breed. Peggy: Isn't he cute, Hank? Hank: He looks ill. Associate: I assure you, he's perfectly healthy, aside from the conditions listed on the card. Hank: [reading the card] Anxiety, depression, sun sensitivity, afraid of potted plants??? Associate: Would you be interested in fostering Caesar for a few weeks? Just until we can find him a permanent owner? Peggy: In other words, you're Son the dog needs a substitute teacher? Associate: Uh, I suppose that's one way of looking at it. Peggy: I come in, I teach him a few tricks, turn his life around, and send him off into the brave new world! This is what Peggy Hill was born to do! What do you think, Hank? Hank: [still reading the card] Hostile towards shadows? Dear God, there's a second card! Connie: Dad's stuff is all gone from the garage. Did he move back in? Kahn: [from across the street] No, I did not. I left, with my dignity intact! Minh: I kicked you out! You were crying so loud, I could hear it through the garage! Kahn: [begins to approach] I was reading a sad book, called "our wedding album." Minh: Hey, we agreed! You stay on that side of the street! Connie: I don't understand. Dad, where do you live now? Bill: With me! [Kahn sighs] Yeah, we're just two single guys having a grand old time! No wives, just vibes! All are welcome... except wives. Kahn: Ha! Hank Hill is holding an umbrella for a dog! Your life is falling apart! Hank: Aren't you living with Bill? Kahn: No! Bill is living with me! ... at Bill's house. Bill: Kahn, you sound troubled. Tough day? Kahn: Yes! I'm upset because Minh basically gets Connie the whole weekend! Stupid schedule. Bill: [hugging Kahn] Shh-shh-shh. There, there, deep breaths, Kahn. [they breathe deep together] Don't let Minh push your buttons. That's what she wants. Kahn: I know... Bill: Now, how about we go home, I make us some dinner, maybe draw a bath...? Kahn: With extra bubbles? Bill: Let's start with the normal amount of bubbles and then we'll go from there. Minh: Bobby Hill, put a shirt on, and step away from my precious daughter! Bobby: Okay, but let's all remember who's the real bad guy here. The dog. Hank: The dog wasn't the one engaging in amorous congress under my roof. Peggy: It can't, because it has an inverted penis. [Kahn approaches] Kahn: What's all the fuss? Hank: Oh good. More people. Minh: I caught your daughter participating in fatherless behavior with Bobby Hill! Kahn: Bobby Hill, did you de-flower my daughter?! Bobby: No sir. We didn't even get to doing anything, we were just... warming each other up. Hank: Stop! Peggy: That's enough! Minh: Ew! Kahn: Shut up! Shut up! Bobby: Okay, I can see that tendons are a little high right now, do how about we all just get some sleep and talk about this over dinner tomorrow, which I'm paying for? Minh: Bobby, we are not having dinner with you. Come on, Connie, let's go back home. Connie: No! All you've done since I've been home is complain about dad and insult Bobby. I don't wanna be around that. Kahn: ... Hey, Connie, why don't you sleep over at my place, just for tonight? Minh: Ha! You mean Bill's place? Kahn: We can hang out and celebrate your birthday. Things are very mellow over there. Super chill. Connie: And Bobby can come too? Kahn: [obviously uncomfortable] Of course! Because I support your relationship. Bill: [hugging Kahn from behind] Yaaaay! The more, the merrier! Hank and Peggy can come too, if you'd like! Peggy: Do not threaten us, Bill. Bobby: I'm gonna go with Connie. Hank: That's fine. Why don't you take those sheets with you? Bobby: I'm glad we're getting to spend some quality time together, man to man. And not just any men, the two most important men in Connie's life. Kahn: Ugh... Bobby: And hey, maybe if we get everything done in time, we could get lunch, or play nine holes of golf. Ten if you're nasty. [Kahn pulls over, buried his face in his arms and sobs] Bobby: What's wrong? Kahn: I hate you, Bobby Hill! Bobby: ... Oh. Kahn: I lost my marriage, I'm losing Connie, I live with Bill, and you're dating my daughter again! My life is shit! [sobs more] Bobby: There, there. Can I do anything to help? Kahn: Open up the door and push me into traffic? Veterinarian: Looks like this dog will only be eating smoothies from now on. Hank: He's hurt that bad? But how will he get his nutrients? A growing dog needs all his protein. Veterinarian: This dog's done growing. Based on his cloudy eyes, loose skin and general odor, I'd say he is about ten years old. Hank: What? Peggy: That's impossible! The rescue shelter told us he was two. Veterinarian: Those rescue places always tell you their dogs are two. That way, they don't scare you off. It's like how I tell people I chose to be a vet instead of "I flunked out of med school." Searching for Bobby Phisher [15.3] Hank Encounters of the Nerd Kind [15.4] The Best Little Marriage in Texas [15.5] Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes [15.6] Hank Ruffles Some Feathers [15.7] No-Cuddle Offense [15.8] Reality Bites [15.9] Propane Recall [15.10]