Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 2)

The following is a list of quotes from the second season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy. Know It All Ed Eddy: What we have here...is a squirt gun. Edd: Please. A 'squirt gun'? Eddy: Yeah. A Canadian squirt gun. Ed: Canadians are weird. Ed: Plank reminds me of fresh-cut Spring flowers, spewing across a babbling brook with a hint of lemon. Dear Ed Knock, Knock, Who's Ed? Ed: [imataing the doll] My Head is Snoring Mickets. 1 + 1 = Ed Eddy: Ed! What are you doing in my bed? Ed: I can't sleep, Eddy. I keep thinking; how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose? Eddy: Ed, get out of my room! Ed: Ow, my buttocks hurt. [looks at the lava lamp] Why does goo float? Eddy: Hit the road! [Ed eats it] Wha? My lamp! Ed: Eddy, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter? Eddy, when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on? Eddy: Go home! Ed: Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. [in the morning] Eddy, carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone? Eddy: If you're gonna strain your peanut brain think of something more important. Like...how to get your face on a dollar bill. Ed: Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah? Eddy: Uh, Double D up yet? Eddy: HEY DOUBLE D! Edd: Eddy, you know I hate that! Oh, hello, Ed. Eddy: [pulling out a bra from an old dresser] Woo hoo. PG-13. Ed: That's my mom's, Eddy. [Eddy gags and drops the bra] [Eddy somehow passes his hand behind the sun] Eddy: Didja see that? Weird. Oh well, can't beat em, eat em. [bites into the sun and it turns into a crescent moon] Not bad. Jimmy: Jumping Jehoshaphat, who turned out the sun? Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Ed Ed: OKAY I GIVE UP!! It's no fun being the last human. So can I be a bumblebee? Eddy: Eddy, you're the man with the scam. You're the big... Uh... [falls down the stairs] Ed: [talking to Nazz] So if I join you at the party, can I be a tarantula? Or maybe a salamander? Eddy: Party? Wait! Hey! I'm stuck! Ed! Don't forget Cockroach Eddy. Rolf: Are they from this planet? Kevin: No. They're from the Land of the Dorks. Ready, Set... Ed! Ed: I think I swallowed a turtle. Eddy: What country are we in? Edd: We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record. Ed: Can I wear a dress again? Ed: Room for one more! Kevin: Touch me with that broom and I'll tear off your eyebrow. Hands Across Ed Rolf: Hallo. I will be performing my country's traditional Dance of the Hairless Otter- Eddy: Next! No budget for subtitles.... Floss Yer Ed Ed: Can I shave them? Edd: Ed, you don't shave coconuts, you eat them. Ed: Like report cards? In Like Ed Ed: Um, Double D, what's this do? Edd: That's just a coat hanger, Ed. Ed: Oh. Mum's the word. Eddy: Nice little soiree, huh, Rolfy-boy? Rolf: You have an invitation, overdressed Ed-boy? Eddy: The crow caws at midnight. Rolf: And the cat sours the basil. Rolf would love to talk politics, but I must see your invitation. Eddy: No problem, stretch...Look! Who's that hairy beast eating all the dip?! Rolf: Nana? Ed: Oh, cool. This reminds me of the movie "Zombies From The Deep Freeze: A cash cow". This is the part where we'll be torn to pieces, stuffed into ice cube trays, and frozen and used to cool their drinks. Edd: Non-alcoholic, I hope. Who Let The Ed In? [The kids have spotted Eddy's fake prize-grabbing machine]. Jimmy: Did it fall off a truck? Sarah: That's how my brother was born. Kevin: Prize grabbers are cool. Eddy: Whoa; that was fast. Ed: Jib made you presents. Kids: Presents? Eddy: I hate Jib. Rambling Ed Eddy: [to Ed, about Sarah] If she told you to go jump in a lake with a rock tied to your head, and wait for naked photos of you to be developed, so she can hand them out to all the kids in the cul-de-sac, would you? Ed: I had socks on, Eddy. Ed: My place is the cat's tuxedo. [pets the cow] Right, poochie? [Edd and Eddy are sleeping in Rolf's bed] Eddy: Turn out that light! Rolf: Ah, yes! Sorry, Ed-boy! Rolf: THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!!!!!!!! Homecooked Eds Eddy: Why don't you Kankers get lost? Ed: And forget about any lovey-dovey stuff. Kankers: Lovey-dovey. Eddy: Ed, you dolt. Kevin: What's a trailer doing on my- TRAILER?! Ed: One plus one equals one on a bun. To Sir With Ed Key To My Ed Honor Thy Ed Eddy: Hit the road. [flicks a spider off the doorknob. It falls off, rolls across the floor and falls into a hole] Edd: Tell me that didn't happen. Ed: It didn't happen. Scrambled Ed Edd: [repeated line] Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Ed: [takes out a bottle of mustard from his jacket and squeezes it and a pencil pops up] Alley oop. Here's your mustard, Double D. Eddy: He asked for a pen. Ed: He asked for mustard. Do you have corn in your ears, mister? [Sarah and Jimmy enter Sarah's room] Jimmy: After you, doctor. Sarah: Thank you, Nurse. [The two catch sight of Edd slumbering on Sarah's bed] Jimmy: AAH! Sarah: Double D, get out of my room! Edd: I'm sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Jimmy: Hmm. A severe case of exhaustion, don't you think? Sarah: I'm the doctor, and I say he's dead. He's worser than I thought. Let's operate. Urban Ed Ed: Let's drive to the city, fellas. Edd: We're too young to drive, Ed. Ed: My dad has a shovel. Eddy: If we can't get to the city, then let's bring the city to the cul-de-sac. Edd: I suppose I'd better find some tape. Ed: Not to mention a duck. Eddy: Pigeons don't go 'oink', Ed. Ed: I'm a gazelle. Oink! Stop, Look, and Ed Rent-a-Ed [Jonny's house is destroyed after Ed broke the support beam] Kevin: You guys are in so much trouble. Eddy: Tell me about it, I lost my money. Edd: Let's just do the right thing, Eddy, and work for the rest of our lives to buy Jonny a new home. Eddy: Yeah, right. They'll never catch [rips his shirt off to reveal his trapeze costume] THE FLYING EDUARDO BROTHERS! Edd: You're still wearing that thing? Shoo Ed Edd: A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit? Eddy: What's with you? It was the most annoying thing I could think of. Edd: My father wears a suit. Eddy: Exactly. Edd: Well I suggest something a little more on topic. Anchovies. The person who invented this smelly salty fish dish should have been imprisoned for the rest of their life. [to Jonny] Open wide please. Jonny: I smell something fishy. [dodges] Edd: Please, Jonny. [Jonny laughs and dodges again] Please, Jonny. Jonny: Plank says fish is– [Edd stuffs the spoon full of anchovies in his mouth and brushes his teeth with it] Ed: I glued a block of wood to Jonny's foot. Edd: Ed, why did you glue a block of wood to Jonny's foot? And why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny? Eddy: Jonny. People really like it when you say WHY ALL THE TIME! Jonny: They do? Why? Why? Why? Why? Ed: And people really like it when you poke 'em on the head. Eddy: Cut it out, Ed. Ed: See? Eddy likes it. Ed In A Halfshell Edd: Eddy, Eddy, It’s DODGEBALL ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed Ed: Okay. I dare you, Eddy, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat through a car wash. Edd: Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please. Ed: Okay, I dare Eddy to be Double D. Edd: Eddy act like me? Why, that's– Eddy: Stupid, Ed. You blew your chance to– Edd: Y'know, Eddy. It could be quite intriguing. Why, I'd be flattered if you were to mimic me. Eddy: Let's see, where do I start? [mimicking Double D] The wind conditions are absurd. The lean is too steep for the fat. Ed: Good Double D, Eddy. [Double D chuckles] Eddy: [pretends to strain to budge the bottle, unable to move it an inch] Oh, dear. The unsanitary. My skinny arms cannot bear the weight. Oh oh I know. I'll move it with my brain. Edd: [sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Eddy. [spins the bottle] Can we resume playing? [the bottle settles on him] Oh dear. Eddy: Ha! I dare ya to be Ed. Go on, flatter him. Edd: Well, I suppose I could, but only if Ed will be Eddy. Ed: I can do Eddy, I practiced. Can it, Double Dweeb! Eddy: Whaddya mean you practiced? Ed: Shut up, Sockhead! Eddy: Please, Eddy. You're invading my personal space. [The Eds laugh] Eddy: Well? Ed: Do me, Double D. Eddy: We're waiting. Edd: Very well. Uh, let's see now. [manipulates his face so his eyes are spread out across his face] Buttered toast. [The Eds laugh again] Rolf: Hurry, as the raspberries beg to be squashed, Ed-boy. Ed as Eddy: Let's sell the squash for cash. Chicken! Pet the chicken, pet the chicken... The stupid bird stole my quarter. Flew away with it. Eddy as Edd: Excuse me, 'Eddy'. May I fuel inject? Chickens cannot fly, as they are mammals. Edd as Ed: I love chickens, Eddy. [The Eds laugh] Rolf: Ed-boy! Ed as Eddy: Wake up, Monobrow. Edd as Ed: Oh right. Yes. Ahem. I am Ed. Rolf: You are not Ed-boy. I must have the large Ed-boy here now. So please, Ed-boy, raspberries to squash. Thank you. Eddy as Edd: Rolf said, thank you. Isn't it refurbishing to hear politeness? Ed as Eddy: Put a sock in it, sock in it. I got a plan. Hey, burnhead. I will now inflict pain on you. Edd as Ed: What? [Ed knocks Edd into the raspberry silo] Buttered toast? Rolf: No butter, raspberries. Squish the fruit, slowpoke Ed-boy. Rolf needs juice for his great thirst. Eddy as Edd: Eddy, I too am thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct. Edd as Ed: Parched. The word you're looking for is parched. Ed as Eddy: Yeah, right, Lumpy. Parched is a fish. [laughs] Eddy as Edd: Intriguing. Rolf: You are not Ed. You have cursed my raspberries to the life of salad dressing, impostor with tiny feet. Ed as Eddy: You know what they say, Double D. If you're thirsty, take a drink. Gee, Double D. You really let yourself go. Kids'll pay big money to ride a blimp. You're a genius, Double D. Edd as Ed: You really think I'm a genius? Eddy as Edd: Hey, I'm Double D. I'm the genius. Ed as Eddy: I have caused discomfort 'cause I'm Eddy! [laughs] [The 'Eds' laugh] Rolf: Rolf has never been so confused. Edd as Ed: What in heaven's name is this? A ladle? Oh, my. IT'S A TUB OF GRAVY!!! Eddy as Edd: Oh, dear. Pain. Hot Buttered Ed Edd: Did you know shadow puppetry was one of the oldest forms of entertainment? Ed: Like walnuts? Ed: The sound of a babbling brook makes me want to babble, Double D. Ed: You Can Be my sidekick, Frog-Mouth Kid, and Double D is our butler, um… Double D. High Heeled Ed Jimmy: [has fallen through the open manhole] Sarah! Sarah: Jimmy! What happened? Jimmy: I fell on my tushy, Sarah! Sarah: Don't move! I'll save you! [pulls out a modified fishing pole and casts it in. She catches Jimmy and hauls him out] Pee-yew, Jimmy, you stink. Nazz: That's putting it mildly. Eddy: Hey, why don't you let the guy have some fun, huh? Sarah: You're in a sewer, idiot. It's dirty, and stinky... Eddy: It's called ambiance. It's a swamp ride, get it? What do you girls know about- [a sign is thrown down at him] No skin off my nose, Sarah. I'm sure Kevin, Rolf, even Jonny will- Sarah: They went go-karting. Eddy: Go-karting? Sarah: And they won't be back till supper. Bye bye. Eddy: We need to find our more sensitive side. Ed: I found my sensitive side, coz it has a rash. Edd: Thank you for sharing that with us, Ed. Jimmy: Pinch me I'm dreaming. Whee. I feel just like Elvis Presley. Jealous? [the golden paint develops cracks] Oh no. [gasped] When will the torment end? [falls, and the paint on the pants shatters into tiny pieces. He is wearing Ed's pants] Nazz: That wasn't gold, fakers. Sarah: You gypped us. Edd: Exposed. Eddy: Busted. Ed: Nope. Can't think of a word. [Nazz retrieves the $5 bill from Eddy] Jimmy: The shame. Nazz: Here's your money, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up. Sarah: Wait till you get home, Ed. Jimmy: Charlatans. Ed: Spending extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing. Eddy: What's with you? Edd: Ed's trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual moment within the confines of his brain. Eddy: Ed? Is that you? Ed: ...HUG ME! Eddy: Well, that didn't last long. Ed: [hugs Eddy] HUG! Eddy: Ed! Fa-La-La-La-Ed Ed: [holding a sprig of mistletoe] Do you see what I see? [puckers up] Eddy: Where'd you get that mistletoe? It's July! Edd: There's no kissing allowed in my parents' room, Ed! Eddy: [using Edd as a shield] You take care of Ed, Double D. I've got another nut to crack. Or should I say, piggy bank. [Ed exposes the scam to the kids] Edd [tearful]: Oh, I'm so ashamed... [breaks down, whilst Ed comforts him] Ed: There, there, Double D. Santa forgives. Eds: [singing at Rolf's front door] We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas- [Rolf opens the door wearing festive native clothing. Confused, Eddy and Double D stop singing] Ed: [continues singing] ...We wish you a merry Christmas, so give us some cash! [Wilfred oinks] Rolf: [puts a strip of bacon into the Eds' cash jar] No cash. A fine strip of bacon, yes? Cry Ed Jimmy: Murphy's law, do your stuff! [a clothespin lands on his foot] Ouch! My foot! It's broken! Owie! Sarah: Jimmy? Jonny: That clothespin went right for him, Plank. Sarah: You okay, Jimmy? Jimmy: Did someone get the number of that launderade? Nazz: Poor Jimmy. Eddy: [comes down in a kiddie pool standing on his tongue as his grand finale] Ta-da! [sees all the kids leaving] Jonny: Plank says clothespins are known to attack at the blink of an eye. Sarah: Here Jimmy. Drink some water. Nazz: Is there anything we can do for you? Rolf: Let Rolf nurture you with a bowl of Nano's pre-chewed seven-course dinner? Jimmy: My tummy, Sarah. Pitiless is the tempest sea. Rolf: Emergency. We must implement the boat procedures. Eddy: It was horrible! [fake coughs] Did I say it was horrible? Ed: Horrible it was. A giant Swedish meatball with a bloodcurdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling grasp! [makes chewing sounds] Edd: Please. Rolf: Rolf has seen this meatball. It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night. Kids: Whoa! [Cut to Sarah and Jimmy] Sarah: You stay put here, Jimmy. I'll get some kids to help me carry you to your room. And don't forget to drink, you need to keep your fluids up. Jimmy: You forgot the straw, Sarah. [an acorn falls into his drink] An acorn. Hello, Mister Squirrel. You're cute. [Cut back to the Eds and the kids] Nazz: You're so brave, Eddy. Is there anything we can do for you? Eddy: The fact that I'm surrounded by all my friends is all I need. Sarah: You're just a big faker. Jimmy's the one who is really hurt. Eddy: Come closer, my child. You tell Jimmy he's out of his league. Jimmy: [in the backyard, he has been crushed by a tree] Sarah! Owie! Nazz: Not again! Sarah: [gasps] It's Jimmy! Jimmy's in trouble! Nazz: C'mon, guys! Jonny: Wait up, guys! Eddy: Hey, wait! Where ya goin'? Where's my attention? I was attacked by a meatball. Eddy: Hit the road, Bubbleboy. What the... Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf. Kevin: What are you talking about, man? Rolf: Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf. Must I spell it? We have guests. [Eddy crash-lands on Rolf and Kevin] Eddy: It worked! I'm safe! I'm better than Jimmy! Jonny: Did 'ya see that, Plank? Great crash, Eddy. Nazz: Need any help, dude? Jimmy: [floating down] Greetings, earthlings! Oh, you too, Mr. Doggie. You're cute. [a low growl is heard] I'm safe! No problem! [his suit tears and deflates] Not safe! Not safe! Help me! Sarah: I'm coming, Jimmy! Nazz: Wait up, guys! External links Category:Ed, Edd n Eddy seasons