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Mystery Team
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Mystery Team is a 2009 comedy film about a group of former Encyclopedia Brown-style child-detectives who struggle to solve an adult mystery.
Directed by Dan Eckman. Written by Donald Glover, DC Pierson, Dominic Dierkes, and Dan Eckman.
One big case. Zero clue.
Charlie
Oh okay, so we're definitely not just taking off clothes then, gotcha'.
Duncan
The door's locked! McGinty, you clever dog!
If any teachers ask where Eric went, tell them that three grown-ups took him off the playground to teach him a lesson about sticking his finger in things.
Sorry I'm late, everybody. My science teacher says my thesis needs to prove something... but I think listing all the dinosaurs proves there was a lot of dinosaurs.
Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.
We're keeping evidence from the police, okay? We could go to jail! You know what happens in jail? No T.V.!
Goodnight sweet hobo. May your bindle be heavy with treasures, but your heart be light with song.
Jason
Decorative pillows? What is this, the White House?
Paper plates? Are you expecting the pope?
Jim
Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.
Jamie
There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!
Jordy
When I was fifteen years old, when I got this job, I said to myself, "I am going to work here until the day that I kill myself."
Hey! Are you squeezing that bread? We had a deal! We had a deal you fucking animal! What the f...ah dude, did you fuck this bread? You fucked the shit out of this bread. You don't fuck bread. Every fucking thing!
You remind me a little of me. You know what I'm going to call you from now on, "Little Me". I just came up with that right now.
Paying you in advance, buddy!
Dialogue
Jason: She's really something, it's just... I'm no good with girls.
Frank: Oh, you're whipped! [imitates whipping]
Jim: [interrupting] Frank! Sometimes I wish you didn't beat that cancer. I really do.
Kelly: [holding the ring] Where did you find this?
Jason: It's a long story.
Charlie: No, it's not. A stripper peed it into a toilet.
Jason: Ah! Cinnamon sticks!
Charlie: Ah! Chinese checkers!
Duncan: Fuck! Yeah, that's right. I've been saying "fuck". Going in the backyard and trying it out.
Duncan: Honestly, this is breaking and entering, okay? It's illegal.
Jason: But, it's for justice, so it's legal again.
Duncan: Our most consistent customer has Alzheimer's!
Jason: Mrs. Kimmel does not have Alzheimer's!
Duncan: She bakes fifty pies a day for her dead husband. Most of the pies are filled with soap.
Jason: We are mature and legitimate detectives.
Kelly: What the hell is that smell?
Duncan: I drank dog urine.
Cast
Donald Glover - Jason Rogers
DC Pierson - Duncan Wheeler
Dominic Dierkes - Charlie Day
Aubrey Plaza - Kelly Peters
Glenn Kalison - Robert Finney
Peter Saati - Leroy Maddox
Ellie Kemper - Jamie
Matt Walsh - Jim
Bobby Moynihan - Jordy
Daphne Ciccarelle - Brianna Peters
John Lutz - Frank
Jon Daly - Greg Coleman
Neil Casey - Broken Man
External links
1237838 Mystery Team
1210128-mystery_team Mystery Team
Category:2009 films
Category:2000s American films
Category:Comedy films
Category:Independent films
Category:Mystery films