Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando

Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando is a 2003 video game and a sequel to 2002’s Ratchet & Clank. Dialogue Interviewer: Welcome back to Behind the Hero, tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy - Ratchet and Clank. So gentlemen, tell us about your latest incredible adventures. Ratchet: Well as you can imagine, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat, there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls... Clank: ...And the wiener roast at Al's. Ratchet: Oh yeah that. And then, things started to slow down a bit. After that, we... well... Clank: There was the grand opening at Groovy Lube. Ratchet: Right. I think that was... last week...(?) Clank: (Correcting Ratchet) 6 months ago. Ratchet: We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh... domestic sense. Clank: Yesterday, I flushed out my radiator core. Ratchet: I guess... no one needs a hero right now... Thief: (Points a gun at Ratchet) I see it's time to update my security forces. Ratchet: Whoa-hoho, no, hey, no, no, look, I'm just here to fix the... trans... flex-er-coil. Thief: Nice try. Give my regards to Megacorp. Thief: [In a recording to Ratchet] You have no idea what you're involved in. Return to your own galaxy immediately or this will happen to you! [Hits button, nothing happens; less confidently] Or... this will happen to you...? [Presses other button which short-circuits Clank] Farewell! [Thief calls Thugs-4-Less] Thug Leader: Thugs-4-Less, if it ain't broke, we'll break it. Thief: Riiight... I'm in the market for some security... Thug Leader: Hey, you bring the cash, we'll bring the thrash! Thief: Good. I need your best men to meet me at these coordinates... Ratchet: [Seeing Clank unconscious] Clank don't... uh... move, I'm coming down! [Thief comes from behind and pushes Ratchet off the ledge] Ratchet: Son of a Qwark! [Angela ducks down to not be seen by the Thug Leader but sneezes] Thug Leader: Who's there? Angela: Meow. Thug Leader: Awww... [Quickly realizing the trick] Hey, wait a second! [Angela comes up on screen, standing up] Sending a little message to ya little pals, hah? [to where the recording is] Well say goodbye, boys! [Angela makes a run for it] [To someone else about Angela] Take 'er to Headquarters! Ratchet: Did you see that? Clank: Yes. Angela knows how to defeat the Protopet. Ratchet: And...? Clank: And she does a terrible cat impression? Ratchet: And we have to rescue her from the thugs! Clank: Agreed. We need that answer. Ratchet: And we have to protect her! Clank: Okay... Thug Leader: This message is for all Thugs-4-Less personnel. Ehh... Megacorp has hired us to protect their C.E.O., Mr. Fizzwidget, [Holds up vid-screen showing a picture of Mr. Fizzwidget] who they think is getting a little cuckoo in his old age and concerned for his safety. [Lowers the vid-screen away] Now, Mr. Fizzwidget's a little old-fashioned, so I want everything handled with the... ahem... [spits] pride and courtesy; people have come to expect from us. Also, keep an eye out for these two characters. [Another vid-screen is shown, this one shows Ratchet and Clank] I've got a personal interest in seeing these 2 rubbed out. So, I'm offering a free pizza party to the squad that bags 'em. And remember, that includes drinks and desserts! Gadgetron Matron: (Farts) Ooh! Excuse me! I think I just blew another vacuum tube! Ratchet: Should I take a look? Gadgetron Matron: My word! You young people are so fresh these days! Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered yes, you're a big fat liar! Galactic Greetings Voice: Hello... Angela: Ratchet and Clank. Galactic Greetings Voice: You lucky devils! Angela: Angela Cross. Galactic Greetings Voice: Has just sent you: a galactic greeting! Angela: Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, I've found my old ID badge. [3 Protopets appear, catching Angela's attention] I'm pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ. [As she says that, she bends down (almost off-screen), making a snowball and then stands up] but you're gonna have to hurry! [Throws the snowball at one of the Protopets, causing the other two to hide off-screen. Angela then catches her breath] Before the Protopets COMPLETELY OVERRUN US!! Oh, and sorry for the balloon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get off this plan– [The 2 Protopets peak out from where they are hiding and one of them growls at Angela as she speaks, Angela then gets cut off] Galactic Greetings Voice: We hope you enjoyed your galactic greeting! [After Angela shows Ratchet and Clank a vid-screen about the Megacorp factory] Angela: That'll shut them down, permanently. [Hands Clank a card] Clank: 'A 20% discount at Groovy Lube'? Angela: Ooooops! Wrong one. Clank: It says, "in case of emergency, break glass to get wrench". [Ratchet prepares to break the glass with his wrench] Hold on! This one says "Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock". Ooh! I love logic puzzles! Let's see... "If you break the glass with the–" Ratchet: [Having already broken the glass and holding the new wrench] Solved it. [Protopet Commercial] Announcer: Why is Billy sad? [Billy cries] Is he cold, hungry, or maybe just...? [The Protopet comes on-screen, up to Billy] Billy: [Scared] Oh no, no-no-no, take it away! Announcer: ...LONELY! Billy: NOOOOOO! Announcer: Introducing the Megacorp Protopet. Your child will shriek with joy when he meets our adorable friend! [The Protopet gets closer to Billy] Wanna play ball? [Billy throws his ball at the Protopet which it swallows, then spits it out back at Billy with twice the force, knocking him over] So, does the Protopet. Need a partner for tag? [The Protopet starts to chase Billy who is screaming in fear] Go find the Protopet. Up for some Cops 'n' Robbers? [Protopet pins down Billy] Billy: HELP... POL-LICE!! Announcer: So, is you-know-who! Just ask Billy! [The Protopet spins around with Billy in its mouth and then spits him into the air] Billy: [Screaming] NOOOOO!!!! [Lands on one of the roots of a tree] Announcer: The new Megacorp Protopet. Stop by Planet Boldan and get yours FREE! From Abercrombie Fizzwidget himself. [Commercial ends] Ratchet: [shocked] You mean that thing is going to be a pet?! Clank: Megacorp intends to market a killer! [looks sad] That is simply... [suddenly looks angry] ...Unconscionable. Ratchet: What the...? This isn't Fizzwidget! Fizzwidget: Would you like a free Protopet sample? Available today only! Ratchet: Where is he? Thug Leader: Freeze, knuckleheads! Clank: Oh, no! Thug Leader: The two of you's are under arrest for attempting to bump off Mr. Fizzwidget. Ratchet: But this isn't... Thug Leader: Save it, fuzzy - you're not foolin' anyone! You and your metal buddy just earned yourselves a trip to our new prison - watch this! Thug Leader: Ha-ha-ha! What'd ya think of that?! Ratchet: That didn't seem so bad. Clank: I assumed you have provisions for vegetarians? Thug Leader: Of course! Vegan or fruitarian- Wait a minute! You - take 'em away! And impound their ship, too. Thug Leader: Muhahahahah...Hahahahahaha...Hahahahahahah! Ratchet: What's so funny? Thug Leader: Uh-huh...nothing...I guess...uh... Prepare to die! (Protopet Commercial) Robot Child: Mommy, where do Protopets come from? Robot Mother: Why... they come from Megacorp, dear! Announcer: That's right, Mrs. Robot! Cast James Arnold Taylor as Ratchet David Kaye as Clank and Arena Announcer Jim Ward as Captain Qwark and Abercrombie Fizzwidget Kath Soucie as Angela Cross Steve Blum as Thugs-4-Less Leader Michael Bell Rodger Bumpass as The Unknown Thief (Angela Cross) and James T. Fullbladder James Horan as Slim Cognito External links Category:2003 video games Category:PlayStation 2 video games Category:Ratchet & Clank Category:Single-player video games Category:Satire video games