The Road to Hong Kong

The Road to Hong Kong is a 1962 film about a pair of con men who get mixed up in international intrigue. Directed by Norman Panama. Written by Melvin Frank. The last of the red hot Lamas! Chester Babcock [cracks open a fortune cookie and reads] "You are under grave suspicion. Your partner suspects you of dishonesty." [passing it to Harry] Here, it's for you. Dialogue Harry Turner: Chester, I give you my solemn word. This time it's not dangerous. Chester Babcock: Not dangerous? Harry Turner: No. Chester Babcock: That's what 'cha said when you shot me out of a cannon, when you dropped me in a tank with an octopus, when you had me wrestle a gorilla. It's not dangerous! I'm not going'. I'm through. I've had it. So forget it, Charlie! Harry Turner: [hands Chester a hand mirror] Who's that? Chester Babcock: [seeing his reflection] I don't know, but gimme a stick and I'll kill it. [while agent Diane mistakenly thinks she's made her secret contact with a microfilm photographer, Chester simply believes he's caught the eye of a beautiful, romantic woman] Diane: [whispers] Do you think we're being watched? Chester Babcock: [noticing Harry staring at them from the bar] Definitely. Diane: Oh, then we'll have to hurry. Chester Babcock: Have we got time? Diane: If you work fast. Chester Babcock: I'll do my best. Diane: Good. Now, I've got the room ready at the hotel. Chester Babcock: Good. Diane: I've made all the arrangements. Chester Babcock: Fine. Diane: The shades are all drawn. Chester Babcock: Very sensible. Diane: And we can lock the door from the inside. Chester Babcock: Oh, good. I'd hate to get a crowd until I get the hang of it. Diane: Are you sure you've done this sort of thing before? Chester Babcock: Well, I MUST have. When do we start? Diane: Right now. [suddenly shouting] Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again. [She slips him an envelope as she kisses him] You've got it. Chester Babcock: I know it. Diane: Don't lose it. Chester Babcock: Don't worry. Diane: I'll see you at the hotel. Chester Babcock: Pull the shades and lock the door. Diane: One final thing. Chester Babcock: Yes? Diane: In case I'm late, you go ahead without me. Harry Turner: An hour ago she flipped over me. I don't dig it. Chester Babcock: Well, that's understandable. An impressionable young thing falls for an elderly fellow. She probably thought you were a father figure. Harry Turner: Father figure? Chester Babcock: Yes, then she took another look and found out you had your father's figure. Diane: There must be some sensible solution to this problem. Harry Turner: Well, of course there is. Two fellas, one girl. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you come to my house. Chester Babcock: Yeah. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, my house. Diane: What about Sunday? Chester Babcock: Everybody rests. Harry Turner: Don't I always get you the best medical attention available? Chester Babcock: Yeah, like that doctor you got me in Bombay last month. Harry Turner: How was I going to know he was an elephant doctor? Chester Babcock: You should have known by the size of his thermometer. Harry Turner: Yes, was a bit large. Chester Babcock: When he shook it, I was still on it. Harry Turner: Happy landings, buster! Chester Babcock: I don't know what you're so happy about. You're not mentioned in my will. Indian Neurologist: [about a cobra] Oh, nothing to worry about. If he should give you a nip, it's very simple. All you do is to get hold of your bowie knife like this, make a cut on here, suck out the poison and spit it away. Very simple. Chester Babcock: Yeah, but what if he bites me in a place I can't reach? Indian Neurologist: That is when you find out who your real friends are. Harry Turner: You got a mind like a sponge. Chester Babcock: Yeah, don't get any ideas about squeezing it, either. Diane: Are you sure you're not pulling my leg? Harry Turner: Business first, fun and games later, mm? Diane: Mr. Babcock, if you leave now, you'll be running out on your fellow man. Chester Babcock: That still leaves my fellow women. Harry Turner: Those guys mean business. They're killers, murders. Chester Babcock: Besides that, they're unfriendly. Cast Bing Crosby — Harry Turner Bob Hope — Chester Babcock Joan Collins — Diane (3rd Echelon agent) Robert Morley — Leader of the 3rd Echelon Peter Sellers — Indian physician Dorothy Lamour — Herself Walter Gotell — Dr. Zorbb (3rd Echelon scientist) Sir Felix Aylmer — Grand Lama Alan Gifford — American official Michele Mok — Mr. Ahso Katya Douglas — 3rd Echelon receptionist Roger Delgado — Jhinnah Robert Ayres — American official Peter Madden — Lama Dave King — Restaurateur External links 0056417 The Road to Hong Kong road_to_hong_kong The Road to Hong Kong 41573 The Road to Hong Kong Category:1962 films Category:Adventure films Category:1960s British films Category:Road comedy films Category:Films set in Hong Kong Category:Musical films