Kappa Mikey

Kappa Mikey was an American animated series created by Larry Schwarz. The series was about a teenage actor from Cleveland, Ohio who wins a scratch-off card contest and a trip to Japan to star in the country's formerly popular anime series LilyMu. Season 1 (2006–07) The Lost Pilot [1.01] Gonard: [in girl's voice] Please let him go! Gonard: [in William Shatner voice] You'll... have to... kill me first. Gonard: [in girl's voice] You mean like this? [Gonard fights himself] Guano: Gonard, what are you doing? You're already on the show. Gonard: Oh... right. [embarrassed chuckle] Ozu: This is terrible. All these actors stink. Gonard: That last guy was good. Ozu: That was you! Lily: Yeah, it's Guano's show. Fire him, not the rest of us. Guano: You're gonna find somebody else who can write and direct a new episode every week? Not to mention memorize all my character's lines? Lily: All your character says is "Guano!" Guano: That's what makes it a challenging role! The Switch [1.02] [After a TV fight with Lily] Mikey: What's her deal? Mitsuki: You should really be more careful, Mikey. [Mikey grieves][Mikey calls from his home, and his parents answer the phone]Ms. Simon: Hi, you've reached the Simon residence. If your message is for Ms. Simon, press 1. Mr. Simon: And if it's for me, Mr. Simon, press 2. Ms. Simon: And if you're our only child in Japan and you're calling 'cause you're all alone in a big empty room and you miss the comforting sound of another human voice, stay on the line as we read from a list of words chosen at random from the dictionary. Mr. Simon: "Vernacular." Ms. Simon: "Flibbertigibbet." Mr. Simon: "Mortgage." Ms. Simon: "Pedal." Mr. Simon: "Disenfranchise."[Mikey hangs up]Lily: Ozu, Mikey is like the messiest, most inconsiderate human being ever! Yes-Man: He is a star that shines too bright! Mikey: She's the inconsiderate one. She's always nagging me like "Mike-ay, don't eat meals in the shower," "Mikey, don't feed the plants people food." Lily: He's the worst roommate! Mikey: She's the worst roommate! Mitsuki: I just keep that diary as a joke. Mikey Impossible [1.03] Guano: You didn't destroy Ozu's bonsai tree with a samurai sword, did you? Mikey: Uhhh... kinda. Mitsuki: Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you! Gonard: He'll send you back to America! Guano: He'll cancel the show! Mikey: I'll never walk on the moon![Mitsuki, Gonard, and Guano all give confused looks to Mikey]Mikey: What? It's been on my mind. Lily: Stupid boss awards! Stupid party! Stupid Mikey with his stupid bonsai tree and his stupid diagram of Ozu's apartment! [pauses] Mikey! He's trying to switch Ozu's bonsai tree! When I tell Ozu, Mikey's finished! [laughs evilly] Ship of Fools [1.04] Mikey: When I will get the game I will be like [does game stuff , and then suddenly he bumps into a fake Mikey]Mikey: Sorry 'bout that! Fake Mikey: No worries, my man.[each Mikey walks away and look to each other, and the fake Mikey goes to Mitsuki, Lily and Guano]Mitsuki: There you are Mikey! Fake Mikey: Oh? Oh yeah Here I am! Mikey Simon. Lily: Why are you wearing sunglasses? Fake Mikey: Because your beauty is blinding. [Lily likes what he said, and Mitsuki gets a bit angry]Fake Mikey: Say , how bout some ice cream? I know this jord next door .. if you're interested? Mitsuki: You don't want the new video game? Fake Mikey: Video games are for kids![Lily and Mitsuki are shocked]Fake Mikey: Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns? Guano: I do! [raises hand]Fake Mikey: Not this time pal. And shine your shoes kid, you look like a mess. [walks away]Guano: I .. don't even have shoes' Saving Face [1.05] Guano: Who could leave such horrible rumors in the paper? Gonard: Who indeed Guano: Mitsuki was with Lily the whole time Gonard: Indeed. Guano: Yes Man and Ozu never left the studio. Gonard: Indeed. Guano: And I was teaching you to speak with a british accent Gonard: [In a british accent] Rather. Guano: That leaves only 1 person...[drum roll]Gonard: Gonard. Guano: What?! You did it? Gonard: No. Lily: Be honest, Mitsuki. Did I lose my endorsement to Socky because I'm not beautiful anymore? Mitsuki: That's crazy! You look great! Doesn't she, Mirror? Mirror: Looking great, Gonard. The Fugi-Kid [1.06] Prosecutor: Ozu, do you think Mikey stole the coat? Ozu: If Mikey says he didn't take the coat, I believe him. Prosecutor: But didn't Mikey destroy your precious 500 year old bonsai tree, then lie about it? Ozu: Yes! [voice building with anger]Prosecutor: And did he buy a pirated video game when you told him not to? Ozu: Yes! [saying very angrily]Prosecutor: And didn't he reveal Lilymu's secrets to the press? Ozu: Yes! [saying with fury as he catches on fire] Mikey: That was a good one. Prosecutor: Let the records show that Ozu is surrounded by flame. [Yes Man douses Ozu with an extinguisher][it has been proven that Mikey was framed, but the police finds him in Lilymu Towers. The gang are all in Gonard's apartmentGonard: Friends stick together. [outside to the police] Mikey's with us! If you arrest him, you have to arrest all of us! Detective: Fine. You're all under arrest.[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guano slap their foreheads in disbelief]Gonard: You'll have to come and get us! Detective: Fine. We'll come and get you.[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief]Gonard: Take the elevator! From my experience, it's faster! Detective: Fine. We'll take the elevator.[Mikey, Lily, Mitsuki and Guana slap their foreheads in disbelief] Mikey Likes It [1.07] Guano: [referring to Lily] What makes you think she would choose you? Gonard: [talking while eating spaghetti] Because I am a gentleman! Man: Excuse me, that's mine. Gonard: And it is delicious! Gonard: I think I broke one of my livers. Lily: You only have one liver. Gonard: How many do I need to live? Lily: One. Gonard: I'm in trouble. Easy Come, Easy Gonard [1.08] Guano: Hey, LilyMu dolls! [picks up Mitsuki doll and starts mimicking her voice] Oh, Guano! You're such a talented writer! Have you been working out? [picks up Ozu doll and starts imitating him] I am sorry for what I said, Guano. You are a good actor! And a great director! And very tall! [picks up his own doll and starts speaking on his own voice] It's too late for sorries, Ozu! GUANO SMASH! [starts hitting dolls against each other until he starts crying] Guano smash... Mitsuki: Ooh! Let's go to the Tatami megastore. They've got everything! Gonard: Yeah! That's where I bought my virtual reality machine. [places toaster on head, covering his eyes]Mikey: Awesome! Guano: It's just a toaster he found in the street. Gonard: It's like I'm... on a roller coaster! Woo hoo! [runs hard into a wall] Oof! Lily Meow [1.09] Mikey: I can't believe we were fired from the show. Gonard: [Holding a prop and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu Blaster, I guess I'll never shoot you again. [Holding his costume pants and tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu pants, I guess I'll never look awesome in you again. [Holding his pants and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye normal pants. In retrospect, there was nothing wrong with you. Gonard: So the cat's cute? It's not like it's got anything else going for it. Reporter on TV: Here is Kello taking the Silver Medal in Olympic Downhill Skiing! Mikey: Why did I lend him those skis? Guano: You just need time to adjust. On Lily's first day, she tripped over a camera. Then on Gonard's first day, he mistakenly ate a box full of light-bulbs. Gonard: You mean, glass apples.[Kello the Kitten gets on the camera]Guano: What's that on the camera? Gonard: A UFO? Lily: That's not a UFO.[Gonard holds a sub sandwich]Gonard: Lily, I think I know a UFO when I see one. Hey! Who's been eating my UFO? Cat Burglar: You know the expression, 'There's only one way to skin a cat'? Actually, there's only one way, with this. [pulls out a bizarre looking machine with a hook, knife, sickel, and another blade all spinning simultaneously] Splashomon [1.10] Mitsuki: [in southern accent, wearing bonnet] Gonard you have to eat that lobster! Gonard: [in southern accent, wearing a cowboy hat] I reckon I do! Reginald: It is I, Sir Reginald, the handsomest man in the world, come to present you with this overly large diamond. [holds up diamond]Lily: Oh Reginald! Tapias: [Jumps onto balcony holding diamond identical to Reginald's] Lily? Lily: Tapias I never doubted you for a second. Tapias: Then I shall fight you for Lily! Reginald: Have at you! Mikey: Anyway, After the game I picked up Gonard. We ran into a little trouble on the way to Ozu's but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Mikey: [In flashback] Those Aliens have been tailing us since Montoya Blvd. Gonard: [In flashback] I'm on it! [Fires laser]Mikey: [In flashback] Wooooo ha ha ha![end of flashback]Gonard: [Hand on heart] True Story. The Good, the Bad, and the Mikey [1.11] Mikey: W'ever Guano: Mikey, you have to do what the script says! Mikey: Script is just a prison, made of words. Ozu: You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids. Mikey: W'ever. Ozu: You have to do what I say! I'm your boss! Mikey: Boss is just a prison, made of skin. Ozu: That dosen't make any sense! Mikey: Well, not to a fossil like you. Guano: [standing on top of the bus] For the last time, I'm not filled with candy! Girl: Prove it![Guano screams and lands on Gonard's hands and Mikey and Gonard start running]Gonard: The candy is mine! Fine, you can have some too. Guano: Mikey! Stop! Ozu's gonna be furious! Mikey: Then I got news for Ozu, w'ever! Ozu: You started a riot!? Mikey: Ah, no![A chair flies in through a window]Crowd: Riot! Riot! Riot! Yes Man: For the greater good! Kid 1: He supports the greater good! Kid 2: Get him! Mikey: [looking at a statue of Ozu] Look at him, all smug and bronze like the real Ozu. Mikey: A boss is just a prison made of skin. Ozu: That doesn't make sense! Sumo of All Fears [1.12] Lily: And in this corner... Two guys wearing masks! [sumos cheer] And a short, smelly guy wearing a mask! Guano: OH, COME ON!! Mikey: Hey guys! We need to fight some sumos. Lily, Mitsuki, and Gonard: US? Mikey: I can't fight by myself! Come on! Gonard: [In a British accent] Very well! Lily, fetch my sword and a team of horses. Mitsuki, carry me into battle! [both girls give him angry looks] Just kidding. Mikey: I don't feel like I'm getting stronger. Janitor: Ah, but Mikey, you are getting stronger! In fact, you are my best student I ever taught. Guano: What about me? Janitor: Ah, yes, you are my worst. Lost in Transportation [1.13] Beef: You ain't goin' nowhere.[an alarm sounds]Gang member: Grammar police! You aren't going anywhere.Beef: Man, the Grammar Police is always doggin' me... Ozu: [to Lily] Have you talked to Mitsuki? Did she find Mikey? Lily: Not yet, but Gonard says he has a back up plan. Gonard: [to the children] Maybe one day, you'll all be superheroes when you grow up. Isn't that right, Mikey?[A cat is dressed as Kappa Mikey and starts attacking Gonard] Gonard: [talking on cell phone] Mikey, you gotta get here. They're gonna put out the cake soon, and I think I ate the box with all the candles in it. Beef: We're all outcasts, kid. That's what makes us Chums. That, and a small monthly membership fee. Beef: Mikey, I've got a special surprise for you. Mikey: You're gonna throw another snake down my shirt? Mr. Stereo: This is wonderful! Thank you, Ozu! Only a true friend would save my son's birthday with a gang of dangerous bikers! Lily: Hey, kids! [The children cheer] Timmy: Lily, do your move! [Lily giggles and performs a karate kick] Lily: Hi-ya! [Timmy becomes enraged] Timmy: NO! DO THE MOVE WHERE YOU INTRODUCE MIKEY! Big Trouble in Little Tokyo [1.14] [Mega Gonard rampages around Tokyo] Random Man: Oh no! The Fireworks factory! [Gonard steps on factory, fireworks shoot up into the sky] Random Man: Not the wolf factory! [Gonard steps on factory, barking wolves run out of the factory] Guano: Mikey, for once just listen to me. Let's Go! Mikey: Not till I touch Gonard with the Death Hand! Gonard: Yeah! I wanna know the slumber of lost souls. Hideous Blue Blob: Do not go in there. Mikey: You heard the monster. Let's check it out. Guano: Does this mean you're gonna let me go? Dr. Igor: Ha! Of course not. But, I'll try to make this as pleasant as possible. Set the laser to maximum pain! Dr. Igor: Citizens of Tokyo! For too long, you have ignored Dr. Igor! For too long have you denied me the respect I deserve! Now it's- It's- Guano: Payback time? Dr. Igor: Yes! It's payback time! Unless you give me everything I want, I will use my Size-Mo-Lazer and Guano's Power Crystal to make myself incredibly small! Guano: Ahem. Sorry to interrupt, but maybe you should make yourself bigger instead of smaller? Dr. Igor: Hmmm... bigger. Good idea. I shall make myself enormous and then I'll- I'll... Guano: Destroy all of Tokyo. Dr. Igor: Destroy all of Tokyo! Mitsuki: Gonard hit both four and nine and if you add them together you get- Gonard: The letter M! Lily: Nobody panic. Gonard: Help! I'm too beautiful to swim! Ozu: For you. Yes Man: A sandwich? This is the nicest thing you ever gave me! [Ozu's phone rings] Ozu: Hello? Lily: Ozu! We're stuck in an elevator and we gotta rescue Guano! Ozu: Not now! I just gave Yes Man a sandwich full of painful spicy Wasabi. Yes Man: [takes a bite of the sandwich] Why would you do this?! Ozu: It's a blooper! Yes Man: But there's no camera! Dr. Igor: All the classic movie monsters were my inventions! Mega-Rat! Mega-Snake! Mega-Mom! Mikey: Yeu made all these?! Dr. Igor: Forbes helped out. Forbes: I designed the monster's butts. Gonard: Look! It's the moths from the movie, "Attack of the Mega-Moths." Mitsuki: And his death ray from "Mega Night of the Death Ray"! Mikey: Sweet! Dracula's retainer and the long lost ending to "Mega-zilla 7: Birth of Mega-zilla!" Guano: Movie time's over. Mikey: Come on! The three-headed Mega-Dragon's gonna fight a Mega-Turtle with four butts! Ozu: New, from LilyMu! It's the "LilyMu: Super Bloopers" DVD! On sale for only five thousand yen! Yes Man: Bargain of the century! The Phantom of the Soundstage [1.15] [Lily and the Phantom of the sound stage planning to prank Mikey] Phantom: Then, I will teach him a lesson he'll not forget. Lily and Phantom: [Evil laugh] Phantom: That's a pretty good evil laugh, you've got. Lily: It comes from the heart. Phantom: Legend has it, the stage is haunted by a hideous creature. Mikey: Guano! [buzzer sound effect] Phantom: No, a hideous creature that lurks in the shadows. Mikey: Mitsuki? [buzzer sound effect] Phantom: [to the tune of the title song from The Phantom of the Opera] I must do to young Mikey / What that prankster did to me. Battle of the Bands [1.16] Mikey: That's ridiculous! Yoshi will say anything if you tickle him! [Tickles Yoshi] Yoshi: [Laughing] Stop! Stop! I brush my teeth with dogs! Mikey: A cell phone! We can cheat after all! [Gonard, Guano and Lily cheer] Mitsuki: Wait! What happened to being honest with our fans?! You said we'd do the right thing! Mikey: And we will, as soon as we cheat our way to victory! Gonard, Guano and Lily: Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Ori: Well, what do we have here? Yori: Looks like a couple actor types thought they'd pick up some guitars and call themselves a band. Mikey: Yep, that's pretty much it. Guano: Gonard, did you leave this on the audio board? Gonard: That's preposterous! I've never seen that sandwich before in my life! Guano: You autographed it! [sandwich reads 'Eat you later -Gonard'] Gonard: That could be any Gonard! [eats sandwich out of Guano's hand in one bite] Mikey: We'll figure it out. We're rock stars. Mitsuki: Rock stars who steal their music from a cell phone?! Mikey: Is there any other kind? Guano: For now, let's just worry about covering our butts. Gonard: One step ahead of you. (has a sheep on his butt) Mikey: Everyone. I have a confession to make. Reporter: He's a vampire! It all adds up! Yori: Something's not right about you guys. Ori: Yeah. You hold your instruments funny. Yori: All your songs are 15 seconds long! La Cage Aux Mikey [1.17] Lily: Well, if you really are Mikey's parents, then you must know a lot about him. Guano: When's Mikey's birthday? Gonard: What's Mikey's name? [mimical gestures while an accordion plays in the background] Gonard: [angrily] You made me learn how to cook delicious foods!? Do you know how useless that is to me!? Gonard: To eat is a necessity; but to eat intelligently is an art. Beef: That's beautiful, Gonard. Gonard: A guy wrote it on my hand at the bus station. (holds up hand) Mikey: You guys remember that reporter that was here? Gonard: Sure, about yea high, face made of glass, always standing next to the fax machine. Lily: You're thinking of the photocopier. Gonard: That wasn't a reporter? Then why would he want a picture of my butt? Reality Bites [1.18] Gonard: Hey, Keep it down! I'm trying to watch TV. [Gonard, watching TV, sees himself on reality show] Gonard: Oh, man, this guys got moves! Mikey: Gonard, that's you! Gonard: Shyeah, I wish. Lily: [on TV] Yeah, Girls cooking for her friends. Lily: Ugh! That was my voice sounds like? Guano: [on TV] I'm with you, Mikey. Guano: That’s what I looks like? Mitsuki: This is terrible! I look like a wet blanket. Gonard: I look like a sandwich loving buffoon. Mikey: I look like I'm not wearing any clothes! [On TV, Mikey opens the fridge and farts] All: O.M.G!!!!! [running away to the stage] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes Man: Security breach! Gonard: [holding the novel 'War and Peace'] No food for me; I'm too busy feeding my brain with book knowledge. [takes bite out of book and with mouth full] Mmm, verbs... mmm. Pass the syrup. Guano: I don't know, guys, you know what they say, 'Too many cooks spoil the broth.' Mikey: No. What they say is, 'Too many cooks write the best books.' Gonard: [excitedly paging through a photo album] Here's me fighting 'gators in the Amazon. Oh, and and here's me playing ping-pong on the moon. Oh, and here's me inventing penicillin at the prom. Mikey: Those are just all pictures of you with sandwiches. Gonard: Jealous? Ozu: [angrily] What am I supposed to put on the air now?! Yes Man: The Yes Man Variety Hour! Gonard: If you want this butt camera back send 1000 unmarked cookies to my mouth by 3 o'clock tomorrow. A Christmas Mikey [1.19] Mikey: Gonard! You're not evil! Gonard: Thanks, I've been using a new deoderant. Ozu: Eat the stocking... EAT IT! [shoves christmas stocking in Yes-man's mouth] Gonard: You're good, Kappa Mikey. Real good. Mikey: The best. Guano: Cut? [excited] Cut! That's a wrap, people! [crew cheers] Mitsuki: Mikey, that was amazing. Lily: Yeah, for once you didn't destroy the whole set. Mikey: Ain't no thing but a sumo ring. [tips over a camera and chaos quickly ensues] Sorry. Guano: You know what, who cares? We're done for the season! With Fans Like These [1.20] Gonard: [Talking to sandwich] No mayo I said, but you wouldn't listen. [jams sandwich into paper shredder, machine overloads as sparks and smoke fly out] Gonard: Sorry I'm late, I had to get beat up by some nerds. Ready? Lily: Yeah, remember you're good cop I'm bad cop. Gonard: Got it. [Scene pans to Guano tied up in a chair] Gonard: So Guano, how'd you like a punch in the gut? Lily: [through clenched teeth] Gonard! Good cop. Gonard: I mean, how would you like a kiss...in the gut? [Gonard thumbs up sign to Lily] [Gonard dunks his head in a fish tank, comes up with a fish in his mouth, swallows fish] Lily: Gonard! Gonard: I just open my mouth, if a fish swims in that's his decision. Mitsuki: You shouldn't mess with people who confuse T.V. and real life. Mikey: Why not? Sounds like a great idea to me. Mitsuki: Remember when we watched that nature show and Gonard threw the T.V. out the window cause he thought it was full of spiders? Mikey: So? Mitsuki: We lost THREE T.V.s! Mikey: Good news, I'm nerd free! Mitsuki: So you were honest, my advice worked? Mikey: Oh yeah, about that. Sometimes true honesty means making up a crazy story about Gonard to scare away your fans. Gonard: And I want sandwiches! [Bangs fist against wall] The good kind...with bread on the outside. Big Brozu [1.21] Gonard: I get it now. There aren't two Ozu's. That other guy is Ozu's brother. Lily: [sarcastically]: Very good, Gonard. Gonard: Now if only someone would explain to me who THAT guy is. [points to himself in a mirror and talks to his reflection] Hello, handsome. Lily: This is a joke! You have no idea what you're doing. Mikey: You've got spark. I like that. Give yourself a raise. Lily: What!? Mikey: You're fired! [Lily gasps] Ozu: We had an agreement, Brozu. I run LilyMu, you spend our family's money on diamond teeth and ill-fitting trousers. Yes Man: [to Brozu] In your face! No Man: Oh no! Yes Man: Yesss! [attacks No Man] [Brozu sees Lily for the first time] Brozu: Oh Hello! Your daddy must be a doctor cause you're the sickest girl I ever saw! Lily: OMG [Gonard puts bunny ears on his butt] Mitsuki: Um, Gonard, those are bunny ears. Gonard: Oh, I thought they were butt feathers. Mitsuki: ??? Lily: Until Mikey Simon is removed as producer, I'm going on strike! Guano: Yeah! Mitsuki: Me too! Mikey: Wait stop! I can explain. The Man Who Would be Mikey [1.22] [Mikey finds a sword stuck on the rock] Mikey: This should do the job. Old Man: Beautiful, sword eye, this called the Dragon's Spike, pops you heard the legend. Mikey: Of course, so this is what they use to stop Manzilla. Old Man: Now, the Dragon's has been a history of dark and TWISTED! Mikey: Oh, the Dragon's Spike, I thought you said the Dragon's Bike, anyway I'm sure no one would mind if I take her out for a little spin. Old Man: [laughs evily] No one will not pull it from the stone. Thousands of tribe it all it fails, the grass, the blade is to... Mikey: [pulls the blade out] See ya later. [leaves] Old Man: Spike? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Uh Oh Guano [1.23] Gonard: Mikey, to make someone less popular all you have to do is steal their belt. [Yoshi walks by, his pants fall down] Yoshi: My trousers! Gonard: [chuckling and holding up Yoshi's belt] That'll teach him to look at my doughnut. Mikey: Maybe I'll even be on Star Talk. The show where stars talk. Lily: The only show you'll be on is America's Next Top Weirdo. Mikey: Don't get my hopes up. [talking about Butts, the currency of Buttstonia] Gonard: Look, look at the pretty Butts. Mitsuki: That's... okay. Gonard: Touch them, touch my Butts! Touch my stinkin' Butts! Sergie: I have earned my fortune. It is American dream. Lily: This is Japan! Sergie: It is Japanese dream then. Like Ozu, Like Son [1.24] Mitsuki: What's the matter, Mikey? Lily: Another restaurant ban you for picking your nose with chopsticks? [Gonard picks up greeting card Mikey dropped] Gonard: [reading card] Happy Birthday to the world's greatest son. MOG! It's my birthday!? Gonard: I know how to turn that frown upside down. [Gonard starts doing a stand up comedy routine] How 'bout that Ozu folks? I mean he's so old, I told him to act his age and he died! And his shoes, hiyo! Lily: There's no way you two taught that bird to fly. Guano: What are you even doing here? Lily: [chuckles] Mocking you. Gonard: Don't listen to 'em Reggie, you'll show 'em. You'll show 'em all! [serious tone] especially Mitsuki. Mitsuki: What!? [Talking about the shark] Mikey: It didn't hurt anyone expect us and Yes Man and the shark that ate Yes Man. [Scene switches to Yes Man inside the shark] Yes Man: It's cozy in here! La Femme Mitsuki [1.25] [Mikey trying to get someone to go to a movie with him] Mikey: Doesn't anyone here want to go with me? Dr. Igor: I won't go with you, but maybe I'll see you there. [Mikey and Mitsuki looking puzzled] I work part-time as an usher. Mikey: Now we've got copies of all your files and all your poems. [clearing throat] 'The lonely man in the mailbox' by Agent F. Agent F: Stop! That's private! Mikey: Okay Mitsuki, I want answers. Who was that guy? Where'd you learn those moves? What did you get me for my birthday? Answer in any order you like. Gonard: But what if space is time and what if time is space? And what if space is space?... Are you gonna finish that sandwich? The Oni Express [1.26] Ozu: Yes Man, where have you been? Yes Man: A magic orb stole my soul! Ozu: Again? Mitsuki: This Oni mask is our most precious artifact, it's over 6,000 years old. Gonard: It has a very special purpose. [Lily pulls down on one of the mask's horns, a drink dispenses from the mask's nostrils] Mikey: Woah! Mikey: I'm so pathetic. What kind of man can't even overpower a whale with his bare hands? Season 2 (2007–08) The Masked Tanuki [2.10] Mitsuki: There's only one man lonely enough to have that many cats. Lily: Yes Man? Mitsuki: No. Well, yes, but I was thinking the Cat Burglar. Night of the Werepuff [2.15] Lily: Here we are. I'm betting anything Mikey's inside. Mitsuki: But there are thousands of clothing stores in Tokyo. What makes you think he's in this one? Lily: Just a hunch. Plus there are hundreds of people running out screaming. [sees crowd running out and screaming from the front door] Mitsuki: Oh. Mitsuki: Lily, quit it! We need to fix Mikey by midnight, or he'll be like this forever! Lily: Works for me. Lily: You know, I guess I always felt there was something keeping us apart. Now I know that something was Mikey's voice, face, body and texture. But that's all changed now. Guano: All my life, the tall furry guys always get everything, and the short furry guys just get kicked around. Well, I'm sick of it. Have I not fur? Do I not shed? I'm onto you, werepuffs. One day you'll slip up. And I'll be waiting! Mitsuki: (tearing up) I'm just so glad for them. Seeing those two together is like a dream come true. (blows nose) If I could tell those lovers one thing, it'd probably be... (cries) [Werepuff kidnaps Lily] Guano: What was that? Gonard: Oh yeah. In a part, he mentioned that he really dug on Lily. Mitsuki: Oh. They always go for the blonde. Live LilyMu [2.23] [Mikey puts farting powder on Gonard's ice cream, pretending it is sprinkles] Mitsuki: Ooooh! Mint chip, my favorite! Mikey: Actually, this is really for Gonard. Mitsuki: One bite couldn't hurt. Mikey: Come on Mitsuki. Do you really need the carbs? Mitsuki: I'll take my chances. [tastes the ice cream] Mmmmm! Speakerphone: Places everyone. Broadcasting is in less than one minute. Mikey: Uh oh. [Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship] Lily: He's going to use Guano's crystal to power the super missile. Mikey: Not if I can help it. [talk to Mitsuki] Mitsuki, Aim the blaster! Mitsuki: Nuh-uh. [Lily shocked] Lily: Guys! [angrily] Guano's in trouble. Mikey: Lily, quick. Ask Mitsuki to aim the blaster. Lily: Oh brother. [Ask to Mitsuki] Mitsuki, Aim your blaster! Mitsuki: [talk to Lily] Lily, Tell Mikey I'll aim my blaster just as soon as he stop being such a MEGA JERK. [Cut to audience jeering] Jomar: That was TERRIBLE! Claude Von Fabio: I can't even look. [The squid covers the eyes; Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship] Lily: [chuckles; talk to Mikey] Mikey, Stop being such a “mega jerk” and Mitsuki will aim the blaster. [Cut to audience jeering again] Dadzuki: You called that ‘acting’? [Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship] Mikey: Lily, Tell Mitsuki that's who she gonna be, I don’t even want her to AIM the blaster! [Lily facepalm] Mitsuki: Tell Mikey, FINE! Mikey: Tell Mitsuki, see if i can. [Cut to Yes Man and Guano in Gonard's truck] Yes Man: Stop fighting! You're makes Yes Man's...[sadly] sad. Guano: [angrily] Guano! Guano! [Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship] Lily: [angrily] Yeah, guys. CUT IT OUT! Mikey: Nuh-uh. Mitsuki: Nope. Lily: Then I'M OUT OF HERE!!!! [Lily leaves the stage in the studio] Mitsuki Butterfly [2.24] Mikey: Mitsuki, help! Dadzuki: I'm coming Mikey! Mikey: Wow, [Dadzuki lifts him up] you're hands are strong and hairy. Thanks, Mitsuki, you're a lifesaver. Dadzuki: Not so fast! You see, I'm not Mitsuki at all. Mikey: Huh? Gonard, Lily, and Guano: Huh? Dadzuki: Yes, it is I Dadzuki, the father of Mitsuki.[Mikey, Gonard, Guano, and Lily gasps] The Wizard of Ozu [2.26] Lily: It's finished, Mikey. Forked over. Ozu: Sorry. The shoes must go. Mikey: G-G-G-Guano, Gonard, Mitsuki! Y-Y-You got my back, right? Guano: What gonna I do, Mikey? [whispers] Ozu waits is watching it. Mikey: WHAT?? Guano, you're just...a coward! [Guano feels sad] And Gonard, you got...cold cuts for brains! Gonard: [happily] Why thank you. Mikey: And YOU!...Whatever your name is. Thanks for nothing! [Mitsuki crying] Ozu: Mikey, you're overreacting. Yes Man: How do you know, bomb-brain? Mikey: I showed you overreacting. I quitting the show and leaving you guys FOREVER! [All gasps] Who needs a bunch of close friends when you've got a pair of old sneakers? [Mikey leaving apartment] Mitsuki: But Mikey. The storm![last lines]'' Mikey: There's no place like home! Right, Gonard? Cast Michael Sinterniklaas as Mikey Simon Sean Schemmel as Gonard Gary Mack as Guano Kether Donohue as Lily Carrie Keranen as Mitsuki Stephen Moverly as Ozu Jesse Adams as Yes Man External links Category:2000s American animated comedy TV shows Category:Flash animated TV shows Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows Category:American children's animated action TV shows Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows Category:Teen animated TV shows Category:Teen superhero TV shows Category:Cancelled shows Category:Nicktoons (TV channel) shows