Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is a 2016 romantic comedy film about two liquor salesmen brothers Dave and Mike Strangle who find themselves dates to their sister's upcoming wedding in Hawaii. Directed by Jake Szymanski; Produced and written by Andrew J. Cohen, Brendan O'Brien They needed hot dates. They got hot messes. Dave Stangle (sitting on a tree branch with Alice) I think you’re nice. (making out with Alice on a picnic table) Wait, there’s people everywhere. Mike Stangle Let’s Erin Brockovich this bitch! You look like “Burn Victim Barbie”. Alice Davis They have The Rodfather. I don’t know if we’re going to get it though if we haven’t seen The Godfather. Dialogue Mike: Why aren’t you on my side, Dave? Dave: What? I’m done with this shit, man. I’m not doing our stupid speech. In fact, I’m quitting our liquor business. There it is! Mike: Really? Dave: Yeah. Mike: And what are you gonna do? Dave: I’m gonna draw!! I’m gonna work on my graphic novel, and Mom’s gonna help me cover the rent! BOOM! Mike: (stands up) You traitor! Cousin Terry: (out on stage) I ain’t gotta rehearse! I know how to eat dinner! (the wedding party laughs uproariously) Keith, can you turn me up a little bit? (Keith accidentally presses a wrong button to Mike’s and Dave’s microphones on the speaker system) Mike: You turn your back on me when everyone else does. Backstabbing, treacherous lying coward! Cousin Terry: Ooh, I don’t think they know they’re on. Burt: What? Where is that coming from? Keith: I don’t know what I did! Dave: It doesn’t matter, Mike. You’re losing your mind! You just tried to poison our cousin Terry! (the adults gasp) Cousin Terry: Try a little harder. Am I right? Mike: You’re goddamn right I did! Because I wanted her to shit hot brown poop all over that stage. Burt: That is unacceptable. Oh, th-the mics are on, boys. Mike: I wanted her butt to explode like a rotten cantaloupe. Burt: The mics are on! Dave: You’re just fucking pissed off because Tatiana finger-diddled Terry! Cousin Terry: There it is! Tatiana: It was for tickets to Rihanna! Dave: You’re sad, man. You are sad. Mike: I’m gonna kick your ass just like when we were kids! (Mike charges Dave and Dave punches Mike to the floor) You wanna go?! Dave: Don’t do it! Mike: These are coming your way! Dave: Just stop! (punches Mike a second time) Rosie: God, that had to hurt! Dave: Don’t do it again! (the pattern continues with Mike rushing at Dave and Dave punching Mike) Mike: Why do you keep punching me?! Dave: Why do you keep rushing at me?! Becky: Ooh. Get him, Dave. Oops, who said that? Mike: (enraged) This wedding is going to Hell! Burt: Yes. Mike: They’re out there, smiling like fucking idiots, and they don’t realize the bride is getting off at massage parlors like a goddamn Vietnam War veteran! (Becky breaks her glass due to her excessive pressure) Eric: I think they misunderstood what happened. I think they just misunderstood. Mike: I walked in and saw little Jeanie, the bride-to-be, orgasming. The masseuse got her off! Eric: GODDAMN IT!! (rushes off) Jeanie! Mike: I HATE YOU!!! (shoves Dave straight into the middle of the stage where Cousin Terry is giving her speech prior, only to be discovered by Burt) Cast Zac Efron as Dave Stangle Adam DeVine as Mike Stangle Anna Kendrick as Alice Davis Aubrey Plaza as Tatiana Stephen Root as Burt Stangle Stephanie Faracy as Rosie Stangle Sugar Lyn Beard as Jeanie Stangle Sam Richardson as Eric Huddle Alice Wetterlund as Cousin Terry Mary Holland as Becky Marc Maron as Randy Jake Johnson as Ronnie External links 2823054 Make and Dave Need Wedding Dates Category:2016 films Category:2010s American films Category:American romantic comedy films Category:Buddy comedy films Category:Films about weddings Category:Films set in Hawaii