Smiling Friends

Smiling Friends is an adult animation adult animated television series created by Zach Hadel and Michael Cusack (animator) Michael Cusack for Cartoon Network's night-time programming block Adult Swim, which revolves around a small charity dedicated to making people smile. Season 1 Desmond's Big Day Out [1.1] Pim: This is gonna be great Charlie! I love helping kids. I love kids, Charlie! I LOVE KIIIIIDS!! Charlie: Whoa, Pim, I REALLY wouldn't be screaming that at the top of my lungs. [Charlie and Pim enter Desmond's room before seeing a terribly depressed and malnourished Desmond holding a revolver at his head] Charlie: What's, uh... What's up, man? What's happening, big guy? What's with the gun? Desmond: Oh, nothing. I was probably gonna use it to shoot myself or somethin'. Charlie: Oh, you don't need to do that, man. Why don't you just... put the gun down, buddy? Pim: Yeah, d-don't worry. Things are gonna be OK. W-what's wrong? Desmond: Well, life's not going that great for me. [slowly zoom in with somber background music playing] My wife left me, my kids left me, my dog died from a broken heart last fall. So I don't know. Yeah, probably just gonna end it all or somethin'. [Charlie and Pim take a short pause; Charlie turns to Pim] Charlie: Pim, can I, uh... Can I talk to you for a second? [talks to Pim in a hushed voice] Look, Pim, I know it's our job to help this guy and everything, but I think this guy is a lost cause. He has obviously made up his mind. Why don't we just cut our losses and get out of here? Pim: Oh, come on. That's nonsense, Charlie. We've never given up on a job so far. [walks up to Desmond in an innocent manner] Um, hello there, sir. I know you don't know who I am, but my name is Pim. I know right now things seem bleak, but I promise to you that by the end of this beautiful day, you will have a big gorgeous smile on that handsome face of yours. Oh, won't you give us a chance? [Desmond pauses for a beat] Desmond: OK. But if you can't help me... [zoom in on Desmond talking in a disturbing deep machine voice] I'm gonna fuckin' shoot myself and make you two watch. Pim: OK, not sure about that, but yaaay! [Allan goes through a big hole behind the fridge and sees a person inside the walls browsing on a computer] Allan: Uh... [the person frantically tries to close the tab but covers the screen from Allan with his hands] Hey, sorry to bother you, but did you a see a mouse run through here by chance? Wall Guy: I don't know. [pause] Yeah, no clue, man. Maybe try down there. Allan: [unsure] Thanks, I'll...check it out. Wall Guy: By the way, for the record, you should probably knock or make yourself known next time you enter someone's place. Allan: Dude, I don't even think you should be in here to begin with. Wall Guy: Yeah, not really your business though, is it? Allan: [bothered] When you're living in our office walls, yeah, it kind of is. Wall Guy: [nodding him to leave] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Allan: [sighs deeply] OK, I'm not... I'm not doing this right now. Bye. Wall Guy: Yeah, bye. [Allen takes one look at the person before moving on] Allan: Whatever. Desmond: Are the best parts of life really finding momentary distractions to keep yourself busy so you don't think about the harsh realities of life for a second? I can ride roller coasters, meet new friends, and spend time with my family all day long. It doesn't change the fact that the sun is just gonna explode, and all this was for nothing. [The Smiling friends and Desmond walk into Allan getting crucified by the bliblies] Allan: I just wanted my CHEEEEEEESE! Mr. Frog [1.2] [Charlie and Pim enter inside Mr. Frog's extravagant and spacious mansion] Charlie: Dude, this house is insane! There's like a thousand rooms in here. You have a gym, you got a theatre, [sees wild animals fighting aggressively to death behind a glass window] and you've even got a beautiful animal sanctuary. Mr. Frog: Yes. But if I don't get my job back on the Mr. Frog Show, I'll lost it all. Hello. Pim: Well, first things first, have you thought about just apologising for putting that TMZ reporter in your mouth? That was pretty bad. Mr. Frog: Hello. But I'm not sorry. Pim: [thinking] Hm... All right, that definitely makes it harder. Um, let's see... [Mr. Frog appears next to Pim's other side] Mr. Frog: Um, can I pull your hair? Pim: [scared] Uh, no. No, please don't. Charlie: No, no, no, no. Screw apologising! All we have to do is rehabilitate his image. Pim: I guess we could try to make the world see the good side of Mr. Frog. How hard could that be? [both look at Mr. Frog for a beat; Mr. Frog pauses before suddenly pulling Pim's "hair" on top of his head, later revealed to be an exposed nerve ending] GAHH--!!! [the scene transitions to the next one] [late at night in Mr. Frog's swimming pool, Pim talks to Charlie in the hot tub] Pim: All right, somehow no drugs was worse than drugs. Charlie, if we can't get him under control, I don't think we're gonna be able to help him. Charlie: Don't worry, Pim, I am way ahead of you. [holds a canister of pills] I gave him some of these already. Pim: [concerned] Charlie, what did you give him? Charlie: My uncle had some hypnotic sleeping pills laying around to help him sleep at night after he rammed his car into a crowd of people. Pim: Your uncle seems to get into lots of car accidents. Charlie: Yeah, he loves his cars. He loves his cars. [Pim sees a drugged Mr. Frog floating in the pool, laughing watching a video on his phone] Pim: Is it safe for him to be in that pool when he's on them? Charlie: Yeah, no one's ever done anything crazy on sleeping pills. Shrimp's Odyssey [1.3] [Charlie and Pim enter into an apartment building] Charlie: Uh, Smiling Friends. Are you the one who called? Shrimp: [In a monotone/drone like voice] Yes, I called. It is I, Shrimp. That is my name. Charlie: Hey Shrimp, what's going on, man? Shrimp: SIGH. My girlfriend just broke up with me. I am heartbroken. Jennifer: I like your hair... Pim: [Pim runs his hand through his single strand of hair] Oh, this old thing? Uh, yeah, it's actually just an exposed nerve ending. But thanks! Shrimp: How do I look, yellow man? Charlie: ...Y-You look like you're about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow, man. Charlie: [drunkenly] Goddamn, Shrimp... you’re just, like... you’re just, like FUCKED, man. [Charlie takes another gulp of his spaghetti drink] And I ain’t even trying to be offensive or nothing like that, but... I don’t know how you had a girlfriend in the first place. Shrimp: That is why I do not even bother. Charlie: Yeah, I know. I’m just saying, you’re just, like... you’re just, like, really, really fucked. I-I genuinely feel bad, it’s not even your fault, man. You’re just a shrimp, you was born like that. You was born like that, you was born a shrimp. You can’t even--... It’s your nature. Pim: W-Wait, you're Shrimpina, right? Jennifer: My name is Jennifer. Shrimp: I have never met this woman in my entire life. Charlie: ...Pim, who is this? Where... Where did you meet this woman? Pim: I went where Shrimp told me to go. The cafe on 153 Meep Boulevard. Charlie: Pim, there's no cafe at 153, there's a cafe at 158. You went to the wrong place. Pim: W-W... Well, wait a second, what about that thing you said at the cafe? About... like, moving on or something? Jennifer: Yeah. My boyfriend Jason died in a motorcycle accident a few months ago. Charlie: Jesus Christ, man, Pim. Pim. Aauuughh. Shrimp: Where is Shrimpina? Charlie: I have no idea, probably at home? I don't know. P-Pim, did you even see Shrimpina one ti--once? A Silly Halloween Special [1.4] Charlie: Listen, I-- I've seen way too many people get their careers ruined over old Halloween costumes. I'm not doing it. Allan: Why don't you just put on some facepaint and be a zombie or something? Charlie: Dude, facepaint gets people in way more trouble than anything else. I mean, I have no idea what's gonna be offensive in ten years! Pim: Oh, c'mon, Charlie! Where's your Halloween spirit? When you put on a costume, you can be anything! Charlie: Pim, that's insane. Rotoscope Guy: Whoa! Is that fucking blackface, dude? The Forest Demon: No! No, no, no, this isn't blackface. I'm an actual demon. Rotoscope Guy: Bro, please tell me that's not blackface, man. Witch: Are you fucking serious? Party Guest: Not cool, man. The Forest Demon: No! No, no, no, no! You don't understand -- I'm literally a forest demon from across the bridge. This isn't a costume. Rotoscope Guy: Get the fuck out, man! [The party guests kick the Forest Demon to the ground and beat him relentlessly, tearing him limb from limb.] Charlie: See, that's exactly why I don't dress up for Halloween. Right there. That's the reason. Who Violently Murdered Simon S. Salty? [1.5] [Pim and Charlie walk out of Meep Cinema, having watched "Bimblar Unleashed] Pim: Oh, that movie was EPIC!! What do you think, Charlie? Charlie: [While slurping drink]: I do- I don't know, man. I didn't really enjoy it that much, to be honest. Pim: What, really? Charlie: Yeah, okay. Okay, look. To be completely fair, I DID really enjoy the scene when Bimblar went rogue, and he beat that woman in the head with the hammer. I thought it was artistically- and, like, tastefully done. I thought it was a well done sequence. Enchanted Forest [1.6] [Charlie has a headache listening to Allan and Glep playing a fighting video game at high volume] Charlie: Hey, can you guys turn that down? I just have a little bit of a headache. Allan: Oh, sorry. [he turns down the video game's loud volume] Charlie: No, no, it's-it's all good, it's fine. It’s just that, erm... these guys started doing construction inside of my place at like 6:00-- [two fairies suddenly fly into the office and one of them blows a loud bugle next to Charlie's ear] ARGH!! THAT WAS RIGHT IN MY EAR, DUDE!! Fairies: [in unison] We officially deliver a royal decree from the Princess of the Enchanted Forest! She's been unable to smile for a royal portrait and needs your assistance! Pim: [gets overexcited] Th-the Enchanted Forest? Oh my God! I LOVE THE ENCHANTED FOREST!!! Charlie: My ear's still ringing from that noise. [Pim recalls a childhood memory with his dad Steven, seeing a wizard and a goblin in the Enchanted Forest] Young Pim: Daddy, Daddy! Can we go inside and do an epic quest with those mythical creatures? Steven: No, Pim! The Enchanted Forest isn't for children. It's only for heroes with unrelenting dedication, bravery and wisdom. Perhaps one day. Young Pim: Oh, I love you, Daddy! [Pim and his father kiss each other on the lips. Scene transitions back to the present] Pim: [sighs with relief] I can't believe after all these years, I'm finally here. Charlie: [pause] You kiss your dad on the mouth? [After Charlie and Pim wake up in a cauldron] Charlie: [groans] Where are we? Pim: Did I pick the wrong hand? [Charlie notices they are now further away from the castle than before] Charlie: Oh, we were RIGHT THERE, MAN! Frowning Friends [1.7] Charlie Dies and Doesn't Come Back [1.8] Pim: Oh, this is gonna be great. I can’t wait to find the perfect Christmas tree. Which one do you guys wanna get? There’s - Oh, there’s a bunch. Charlie: Yeah. Look, look, uh, let’s just make it quick. I really don’t want to be here all night. Pim: What’s up with you today, Charlie? Charlie: Huh? What- What are you talking about? Pim: I don’t know. You just - I don’t know. It seems like you’re agitated or something. Charlie: I’m not - I’m not agitated, Pim. I just don’t want to be working on Christmas Eve. And I think that’s a pretty reasonable position to have. Pim: When you’re in this mood, I don’t know if you realize, but it actually affects everyone else’s mood. It - it brings us down a bit. Charlie: Wait. Hold on. Hold- No, no. It affects you. Nobody else- Allan, are you affected by whatever- whatever is supposed to be happening? Allan: I don’t really care. Charlie: Are you affected? Allan: I just want to find a tree. Charlie: Okay. So, in other words, he’s not affected. See, Pim, here’s the thing-just because you are, you know, very positive and cheery about everything, does not mean everyone else has to conform to that. Pim: I’m just saying, it seems like you’re often in this mood, like, it’s not just a one-off thing. It seems like you’re often like this. Charlie: What do you mean? What is that - What is that supposed to mean? Pim: Well, it was the same with Desmond, wasn't it? I had to get you motivated for that. Charlie: Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Pim: Charlie, you didn’t want to do that job, and I had to get you motivated, like I often have to do. Charlie: Okay. Yeah, Desmond was how many months ago. Also, dude, that’s a weird thing to bring up specifically, because that was one of the instances where you were not in the best mood. So the fact that you’re roping me…into asking me. Pim: Charlie, I’m just bringing stuff up, and it’s not just Desmond. Charlie: Oh. Pim: It’s - it’s every job we do. You never want to do anything. It sometimes just gets a bit exhausting. That’s all I’m saying. Charlie: You know, I could do the same thing back to you. I could throw stuff at you… Pim: Okay, say it. Tell me. I’d love to say what people are saying about me. [The Smiling Friends approach a Christmas tree to chop down with an axe.] Allan: Okay, how about this tree? Pim: Yeah, it’s fine. Let’s just do it. Charlie: It looks fine to me. Allan: Alright. Pim, do you want to chop it down? Pim: Yeah, sure. Charlie: No, no, you know what? Let me do it. [Charlie grabs the axe from Allan.] I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it. [Charlie starts chopping down the tree with the said axe.] Pim: Careful, Charlie. Charlie: Pim, I'm just helping out, right? Something that I never do, according to you, right? Oh, is this- is just putting anyone in a bad mood, huh? Is this putting anyone in a bad mood? [The Christmas tree that Charlie chops down ends up falling onto him, and kills Charlie in the process. Pim, Allan and Glep are all stunned with silence.] Smiling Friends Go to Brazil [1.9] Season 2 Gwimbly: Definitive Remastered Enhanced Extended Edition DX 4K (Anniversary Director’s Cut) [2.1] [With the help of Pim and Allan, Gwimbly goes back to his old video game company, Insane Ground Breaking Games, and meets with his old CEO] IGBG CEO: (in between dipping chicken nuggets in at least 7 different sauces and eating them endlessly) Ah, Gwimbly! Nice to see you after all these years! I see your "solo career" is going successfully, hm! Gwimbly: [ready to rip the CEO's head off, and yelling so loud he audibly distorts his mic] Oh, I swear to God, if I had my Gwimbly GUN ON ME RIGHT NOW I'D-- [runs forward to punch him, but gets held back by Pim] IGBG CEO: [after offering to make Gwimbly a skin in a game] Only if you... kiss my nugget. [holds a sauce coated nugget up] Allan: I hate this guy. Gwimbly: [enraged] Oh, FUCK YOU! IGBG CEO: Troglor! I can't allow them to make their own independent Gwimbly game. It's my IP to sit on and do nothing with! James: Hey! [James snaps his fingers to garner Charlie's attention] Where is it? Charlie: [tired, dressed up in a maid costume] I-I don't know how good this is going to be. I've-I've never made a casserole before. James: Why are you dressed like that? Charlie: Because you said it would make you smile. James: [He inspects the dish more closely, but finds it unsatisfactory.] I want McDonald's. [Throws a casserole dish against the wall] Charlie: [concerned] Look, I've literally done every single thing you've asked. I - I don't know why you're doing this to me but I'm begging you - I'm begging you, please. [inhales] Please, I want you to genuinely smile, please? Just smile. James: [rips off a piece of Charlie's nose] Dude, I couldn't focus on what you were saying with that thing on your face. I was sick of staring at it. Charlie: [screaming in pure agony] AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--!!! [Allan, Gwimbly, and Pim are meeting Count Groxia, now living a normal life, at the entrance to his house.] Count Groxia: Uh, yeah, I gotta be honest, it does sound cool, but my schedule is so packed. There's just no time, you know? My boy's learning piano, my daughter is doing… all sorts of stuff. But yeah, if I had the time I totally would. But--but no, yeah. Allan: Are there any other characters from your stupid game? Gwimbly: Hmm, well, there is my trusty sidekick Mr. Millipede! I wonder what he's up to… [Hard cut to Mr. Millipede’s tombstone at a graveyard. Gwimbly, holding a bottle of beer, and Pim, feeling sad, look at the tombstone.] Pim: I am so sorry, Gwimbly. Gwimbly: It's just wrong, man. Mr. Millipede was like a damn brother to me. And I'm gonna say what nobody else is willing to say: America has a fucking fentanyl crisis. [pours the beer onto the grave] Ooh-ooh-ooooohh… [starts to sob] Pim: That's beautiful. Mr. President [2.2] A Allan Adventure [2.3] Mr. Boss: Oh, Allan! I actually have a very exciting job for you too! I just ran out of those little metal things that hold paper together. The eff are they called again? You know, the thing that's all like-- [he bends his pointer finger backwards, instantly breaking it] Allan: Paperclips? Mr. Boss: Yeah, that's it! If you could fetch some for me, I might have a special reward for you. Allan: Hm, what's the reward? Mr. Boss: Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, Allan, now would it? Allan: No, I guess not. Okay, I'm gonna go get those paperclips, then. Mr. Boss: [deeper, "normal" voice] Cool. Cool... I really hurt my finger doing that paperclip bit. Allan: Yeah, no, I-- I saw. Erm, the Boss Finds Love? [2.4] Charlie: Guys, I know this might sound a little bit fucked up to say, but… I'm starting to think, for the good of humanity, we might need to kill the boss's wife. Brittany: You think I'm evil? You've misunderstood me! [begins crying] Charlie: Waitwaitwaitwait. Are you saying you didn't suck the boss's life out of him and put him into a scary coma so you could take over the business and give it all to Satan? Brittany: No, I did do all of that, but you didn't have to be so nasty about it! Brother Egg [2.5] Doug: Yo. Professor Psychotic: Uh... Yo, what's up? What's up, man? Doug: Vanessa's over; we're trying to watch TV. You're being incredibly loud. Professor Psychotic: Uh... You just-- Like, my volume, or--? Doug: (starting to get annoyed) Yeah, "volume". That's what "loud" means, doesn't it? Professor Psychotic: Yeah-- I have the door closed, I mean... Doug: We're on the couch, on the other side of this paper-thin wall, we're trying to watch a nice, romantic movie, and all we're hearing is injecting DNA into an egg! Professor Psychotic: Yeah, well, that's what I do, yeah. Doug: (fed up with his excuses now) Yeah, that's what you do- you waste time. You do stupid shit, all the time! Professor Psychotic: You know, this-- this is what I care about, Doug. C'mon. Doug: This is what you care about?! Care about something better! Care about yourself, maybe- care about me! The people who are keeping you alive! Professor Psychotic: I-- I care about you! This is, like, my-- This is my job, basically. Doug: (knowing full well his excuses are just bullshit) Oh, no, you care about me? That's so good! You know what you oughtta do- "your job"? Get an actual job! Get one that pays you! Professor Psychotic: You know, I looked? It's a hard economy out there right now! Doug: "It's a hard economy?" How about the economy of my patience, it's runnin' thin, buddy! Paper-thin, like these walls. Professor Psychotic: Dude, you have your problems, too. Like-- Doug: (finally snaps) I've got my prob--? Okay, okay! Get the fuck out! Professor Psychotic: I-- Doug: GET THE FUCK! OUT! Go! Doug: I oughtta knock your block off, you little freak. Charlie: Pim, the world we live in stresses me out, dude. Pim: Really? Why? Charlie: Just, like, never-ending constant chaos, no-- It-- It never lets up. I hate it, I-- It's not good. Pim: Oh, okay. I mean... Like, you didn't like when the man came out of the egg, though? That was kinda nice, wasn't it? Charlie: No, that's what I'm talking about. That's exactly what I mean. Pim: Oh, oh. You didn't like that-- Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry. Charlie: What? It's not-- You didn't do it, it's not your fault. Pim: Yeah, okay. Charlie, Pim, and Bill vs. the Alien [2.6] Charlie: Wait, what? What am-- Dude, what am I looking at? What is that? Pim: Charlie, that-- that's not Earth, right? [Reveal: The Flat Earth.] Charlie: Pim, that's completely flat, that a hun-- that's a hundred percent flat, dude! Pim: I know, that's what I mean, that-- I'm-- that's what I'm saying, that-- That can't be real, right? That's not, like-- Charlie: I-- It-- We're looking at it, dude! That-- The-- The Earth is, uh-- the Earth is flat! The Earth-- I just-- look at-- I dunno, the Earth is flat! Pim: Charlie, the Earth can't actually be flat, right? Charlie: There's the glass dome! Dude, dude, oh my God, dude, oh my-- Pim: This is-- This can't be real. Charlie: I need to sit down. Pim: This can't-- Charlie: Pim, we-- we need to take this to the grave, we cannot tell anybody. This changes literally every-- This changes everything. Pim: No, I-- I know. I c-- We can't-- We can never tell-- We can never tell anyone. Charlie: I might actually puke, get back a little. I might puke. Stand back. I'm gonna throw up. Pim: Oh my-- Okay. Charlie: I'm gonna throw up. Pim: The Earth is flat, Charlie. Charlie: I know. The Magical Red Jewel (aka Tyler Gets Fired) [2.7] Pim: Wait! Before you kill us, can we at least speak to the leader of this wonderful country? Mr. Jester: Okay. [Takes off black hood and puts on a crown.] Pim: Oh… okay. I tried. Mr. Boss: I learned today that all cultures are equal and there’s no such thing as a bad culture. [Mr. Boss and Oscar kiss.] Oscar: Thank you for showing me the silliness of my ways, Pim. I formally declare an end to the eye rule, AND ALL RULES FOR THAT MATTER! NO MORE RULES!!! [The Spamtopians start cheering as the entire country descends into anarchy and chants "No more rules", a frantic montage showing them murdering each other, committing arson, robbing banks and detonating bombs, taking the "no rules" rule so literally that the laws of physics seem to stop working and Spamtopia implodes in on itself in a massive pile of debauchery as Pim and Mr. Boss watch on. They duck away from an explosion, so violent it literally blows on-screen subtitles saying "no more rules" clean off-screen.] Pim: ...we should probably go, Mr. Boss. Mr. Boss: Yeah, okay, no, let's-let's get out of here. Pim Finally Turns Green [2.8] Mr. Boss: [Opening the back door of the building.] What’s all the commotion out here, boys? Pim: The snowman came to life. There must have been some magic in that old daffodil I found. Mr. Boss: You mean the daffodils that grow out of my nuclear waste? [Cut to spilled nuclear waste, where the daffodils are grown into them.] Pim: Oh I must’ve missed that. Charlie: You brought a snowman to life only to teach him he’s gonna die someday? You might be a psychopath, Pim. Pim: What do we do now? Charlie: I don’t know man, I don’t know, I’m still processing the fact that Bill Nye, the freakin’ science guy, just passed on, and we saw it. I wa- I was like the biggest fan of his show, I knew the theme song, ♪Bill Nye the-♪ I-I can’t d- I’m not gonna do it but yeah I’m… I’m like a mega fan so that was hard to watch. Charlie: You know Allan you’re-you’re not just a pretty face man, y-you know you a-you also got some brains up there, did you know that? Charlie: Mr. Boss, you’re having the time of your life back there. Allan: Yeah, are you okay? Mr. Boss: [chuckling] I don’t know, I love my boys! Charlie: I love all you guys. Pim: I love- I love all of you too. This is great. Allan: This is a great day to be a Smiling Friend. [Mr. Boss chuckles some more.] Charlie: I love being here, this is a fun energy, I like this place. Pim: Oh hi Rotten, I’m just grabbing some ice. How’s living forever going? Rotten: Well, I’m not dead, but… I’m not really living either. I mean… Pim, how do you do it? Pim: Well… I don’t know, sometimes life can be scary, but that’s also what makes it exciting. Mr. Boss: MERRY CHRISTMAS, BOYS! Pim: That was 6 months ago, Mr. Boss, but we still love you! Charlie: God, the Boss is funny, he re- no yo- I'll tell you something, he really is funny, and he really should do standup and… [Allan walks to watch] and I love Bill Nye's ghost, so that's awesome, and… [Zoey, Marge, and Glep walk to watch too.] Allan built the rocket shoes and Pim, you made that snowman come to life with the flower… Wow, I just I love my friends, and I love my God, and I love my country, and… uhh, and God bless America I guess, what else can you say? Season 3 Silly Samuel [3.1] Mr. Boss: Allan. We are so fucked. Allan: Why? Mr. Boss: I built this office thirty years ago without any permission from the city and used cheap laborers from the Enchanted Forest to do it. This building is a fucking mess. It violates every code in the books! You really thought it was legal to build a giant yellow smiley face between two buildings? Allan: I don't know. Mr. Boss: Do you realize? Do you realize something? If we fail this inspection, we could lose our office and we'd have to move out of it? Allan: No. Charlie: Yo, dude? Uh, I really hate to ask this, I seriously do, uh, but, I'm— I'm starting to crash kinda hard right now just 'cause we've been walking around and I haven't gotten food all day. If, if with full due respect to you, uh sir, if you could just make me literally one more silly sausage I'd be so, I'd be— that'd be enough to get me until dinner. Silly Samuel: WHAT?! What the FUCK is wrong with you two?! Charlie: Woah hey, calm down dude. Pim: Yeah, we're just trying to help. Silly Samuel: [completely losing his mind] HELP?! I called you to make me smile, and I've never felt worse in my entire fucking life! You both fucking suck at your job! Asking me about silly sausages after you failed me-- Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You guys are just like everybody else, you don't take me fucking seriously! Civilian: What the hell? This guy is freaking out! [A small crowd gathers around him. They begin laughing.] Silly Samuel: [completely lost in his insanity] Fuck you! Fuck you all! I don't care if you people don't like me! I don't care-- I don't--you people have broken me! I don't care if you LAUGH at me! I'm gonna speak my mind! This country! Is! FAILING!!!!! Civilian: HE'S SO FUNNY AND SILLY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Mr. Boss: Wow! So my building is perfectly safe? Building Inspector: Fuck no, it's the worst building I've seen in my entire life and you failed miserably. But that skeleton in the wall, that was-- that was funny as shit. I had a good time hanging out with you guys. Charlie: Yo guys, it's me, Charlie. Hey, did that guy just turn into sand? Le Voyage Incroyable de Monsieur Grenouille [3.2] Bar Patron: Ey, man, I'm sorry to interrupt you, bro. I just wanted to tell you, like, I'm a huge fan, bruh. The TV stuff, the Presidency, everything you ever did man. Like... you wanna fuck my girlfriend? [Mr. Frog raises his fist to punch the patron, but lowers it quickly.] Mr. Frog: Oh, I can't be bothered. Bar Patron: Hey, the offer still stands, amigo. Look -- [places his keys on Mr. Frog's table] That's us. Room 302, up to you, man. Pim: If you're feeling down, maybe you need / To check and see if you got all you need / How about friends? You've got me and Charlie! / And we'll be nice friends to you / What about love? Another thing that's good / Love makes the world feel yummy and good / And what about family? Family is key! / Look at this little family of bees! / There are so many--! [Mr. Frog, without warning, kicks Pim in the face hard enough to knock him unconscious] Charlie: OH MY GOD, DUDE! Father Frog: Haven't heard from you in a while. Mr. Frog: Yeah, I've been busy. Father Frog: You know, your mother passed away three months ago. Cancer. She asked about you. Everyone does. Saw you on that TV show, eating that bug or whatever it was. And we all saw you become President. Everyone said to me "Oh, how's your boy doing? You must be so proud of him!" I would nod my head. But I didn't have the heart to tell 'em I was embarrassed. Embarrassed to see you on that TV screen, making a fool of yourself. Making a fool of the Frog name! Do you have any idea -- any idea how hard it's been for me?! Mr. Frog: I-I'm sorry. Father Frog: Sorry?! Be sorry for your poor mother, whose last words were "Where is he? Where's my boy? Where's my boy?" No! No! You walked out on this family, and now you come back? Now?! You have the nerve to show your face around here? You're a disgrace! Get out of my house! [turns away from him and cries silently as he leaves] I have no son... Mr. Frog: Goodbye. Mole Man [3.3] Charlie: Explain to me -- how did the Magic Bullet go through President Shrimp's head, into the governor in front of him, then into the driver to the left of him, then behind him into his wife, and then back into President Shrimp's head? Explain that to me, man. Pim: I don't-- I don't know. I don't like to think about that stuff, Charlie, to be honest. Charlie: Is that really what I look like, man? I need to lose weight fuckin' immediately. That is really, really bad, dude. Mole Man: [laughs] A classic Charlie line. I knew you'd say a funny quippy line like that. How cute, how quaint, how interesting, how cool, how queer, HOW FUNNY, HOW SILLY, HOW-- Charlie: You know I just gotta say, uh, we avoided seeing it the whole time, Pim. And I saw it right there and it was not as bad as I thought, it looked pretty good. Pim: The penis? Yeah,I saw too. Yeah, it looked good. looked like a good penis. Yeah. Charlie: 'Cause he hyped it up and said it would be horrible, and said it'd be ugly. Allan: I thought it looked delicious. (Charlie, Pim, and Glep turn their heads to him) Charlie: What's that? Allan: I thought the penis looked delicious. Curse of the Green Halloween Witch [3.4] Allan: Hm,that's weird. I guess I'm not the only one that's not cursed. (Pim tilts his flashlight down, revealing that the lower half of Allan has somehow become a spider.) Pim: Allan, you're a spider! Allan: No, I was always like this. Me was born this way. Pim and Charlie Save Mother Nature [3.5][Mr. Boss and Smiling Friends arrive at the vacation cabin]Mr. Boss: All right, make yourselves at home. If you guys get hungry, there's all the slop you can eat. I got a sweet hot tub in the back you can chill out in, and I got Super Monkey Ball for the GameCube. Pim: Oh, I love Super Monkey Ball! Mr. Boss: Dude, you like Super Monkey Ball? Pim, bro, I knew I liked you, dude. Come here, bring it in- bring it in, brother!(Mr.Boss and Pim dab up in rotoscope.) Pim: Oh thanks. Thanks, Mr. Boss, that's nice. [at the cabin, Mr. Boss grills barbecue hotdogs while Allan types in his computer and Glep relaxes in the hot tub] Mr. Boss: Which one o' you boys wants a hotdog? Glep: [speaks excited gibberish] Mr. Boss: Mm, Glep wants his nommies. [he chucks a hot dog and Glep jumps up mid-air to catch it into his mouth; he drops down in the tub and splashes Allan] Yo, Allan! How d'you like your weiner, dog? Allan: I don't want no hot dog. I've got other things to worry about. I need to draft a long email for our insurance. Mr. Boss: Allan, like, relax, man! We're on vacation, brother. It's time to chill out! Allan: That's easy for you to say. I have a lot of responsibilit-eyes. Mr. Boss: Allan, I may be "the boss", but I'm also an employee of life. And I've learned that sometimes you gotta let your hair down and smell the hotdogs! [he sniffs one and punches his thigh, foaming at the mouth] ARRRRGHHH!!! Allan: That's nice, but I still do not want the hotdog. [Mr. Boss gets sad and angry; he hurls a hotdog at the cabin wall above Allan] Mr. Boss: S'the last time I try to make a fuckin' hotdog for you, man! [he enters the cabin and slams the door shut. Allan takes a short pause and talks to Glep] Allan: Do you think I was in the wrong there, Glep? Glep: Yeah. Allan: Ooh, cookies. How delectable. May I have a cookie, Mr. Boss? Mr. Boss: Allan, what're you doing all the way over here? I can barely hear you. [Mr. Boss scooches next to Allan] Mr. Boss: Cookie delivery for Allan? Allan: Mm-hm, where do I sign? Mr. Boss: Nowhere. It's free. Allan: [eats his cookie] Mm. Delicious. Mr. Boss: Yeah, it is. Allan: Yeah.[their intimate moment gets interrupted by a notification on the laptop]Allan: Ugh, more emails. You know what? Fook this effing laptop. I'M ON VACATION![Allan closes the laptop and throws it out through the closed window like a frisbee]Mr. Boss: [serious voice] That was a work laptop, Allan, but I am happy for you. Squim Returns [3.6][Pim watches an episode featuring an extremely bizarre green-colored dysfunctional family on TV]Marrj: Blart, what the devil are you doing on that confounded computer tablet device?! Blart: Hawk tuah, man! [Homaar enters the scene]Homaar: Mmm... boy. [picks up Blart and gobbles him up whole]Pim: [chuckles] After 487 seasons, they've still got it.[Charlie continues playing Grand Strategy IV until he receives a call from Mr. Boss]Charlie: Shit! [answers phone, pretend coughs] Hello? Mr. Boss: [acts nonchalantly] Hey, Charlie. What're you up to? Charlie: Hey... [pretend coughs] Hey, I-I'm actually home, uh...sick right now in bed. Pim told you that, right? Mr. Boss: Yeah, he did, he did. [checks his laptop] The only problem is I can see you on Steam right now playing Grand Strategy IV, [snaps furiously on the phone] you fucking liar, you fucking piece of shit, little fucking rat! Charlie: [frantically closes his game] What?! No-no-no-no, I don't know what you're taking about--! Mr. Boss: [closes laptop] Charlie, I'm gonna make this really simple for you, dude. If you don't get into work by noon, you're fired! [stands up and screams angrily on the phone] YOU HEAR ME?!! FIRED!!! GET IN HERE!!![Mr. Boss angrily throws his phone against the wall; he calms down and sits back to his desk] Mr. Boss: Now where was I? [goes into a fit by panting and rubbing his arms]Shmaloogles [3.7] Charlie: [to the Shmaloogles] Hey, hey, stop doing your stupid little dance! The village was just attacked and your friends were kidnapped, and you're not gonna do anything about it except for dance around and talk in nonsense?! You suck, and you're weak little cowards! King Shmaloogle: For your relentless attacks on our people, and our village, we sentence you to death. Any last words? Wizard: Yeah! SMILE, AND BLOW ME!!! The Glep Ep [3.8] Mr. Boss: Yo, Glep. Glep: Eh? Mr. Boss: What do you actually do around here, man? Glep: Eh... [quizzical jabbers]Mr. Boss: No, I'm not being funny right now, man. Like, like, what do you do at this company? Can you name one thing? Wh-- What do you do here? Name one. One thing. Glep: [blinks]Mr. Boss: Why did I even hire you in the first place, man? Glep: [jabbers angrily, snaps his tablet in half, and storms out of the room]Mr. Boss: Oh, you quit?! You can't quit, 'cause you're fired! GET OUT! GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! [breathes heavily] Well, that sucked. Alright, I'mma go take a dump. [sniffs]Friend-Bot [3.9][Friend-Bot is revealed to be a man in a costume.]Bob: Beep boop, one zero, one zero...[The group stares in shock.]Bob: Alright, you got me. I am not actually a robot. My name is Bob. Charlie: Wait, how did you know all the robot stuff, then? Bob: Oh, I was just using a few different apps on my phone, mainly Midjourney, ChatGPT, DeepSeek, a few others... Allan: Oh. Charlie: Fuck, man, I got scammed again, dude! Is there something wrong with my brain, where I'm getting scammed as much? You guys can tell me if there is. I wanna know that kind of thing. Charlie's Uncle Dies and Doesn't Come Back [3.10] Pim: You know, you really should treat Charlie better. He's the only person who would put up with you. Bilbert: [enraged] Oh, now you've done it. You've just awoken the BEAST!!! [screams as he charges at Pim, and starts strangling him]Charlie: Hey, Uncle Bilbert, stop! Bilbert: SHUT UP, CHARLIE!!! THE BEAST IS ALIVE IN ME!!! [keeps strangling Pim]Charlie: I said, STOP!!![Charlie punches Bilbert, throwing him off of Pim, and giving him a bloody nose. Bilbert looks up at Charlie standing angrily over him.]Bilbert: [chuckles] Good job, Charlie. You did it. You finally did it. Charlie: [confused] What? Bilbert: What do you mean, "what"? You stood up to me! I mean, for 30 years, I've been punching you, spitting on you, and treating you like dirt, trying to get you to stand up for yourself. What do you know? You finally did it! Allan: Mr. Landlord?! Mr. Landlord: Damn, DAMN! Foiled again! Damn you to hell! My ingenious plan, ruined! Allan: Wh-- Why did you do this? I thought you were dead! Why did you pretend to be a beautiful woman?! Mr. Landlord: You know why, Allan! To hang out with you again! And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that damn dirty dog! Allan: [rolls back his sleeves] I'm gonna kill you! [lunges at Mr. Landlord and misses]Mr. Landlord: We'll meet again, Allan! Till next time...! [runs away on water]'' Pim: Allan, are you okay? What happened? Allan: My date turned out to be my landlord and he tricked me, and I... I got a red rocket from him. Pim: ...Oh. Charlie: You didn't need to say the last part, man. You could've left that off. Cast Zach Hadel – Charlie / Glep / various Michael Cusack (animator) Michael Cusack – Pim / Alan / various Marc M. – Mr. Boss Recurring Voices - Mike Stoklasa, David Dore, Erica Lindbeck, Rodrigo Huerta, Chris O'Neill, Hans van Harken, Mick Lauer, Harry Partridge, David Firth, Monica Franco, Joshua Tomar, Lyle Rath Additional voices (season 1) - Finn Wolfhard, Nick Wolfhard, Tom Fulp, Chills, Jason Paige, Gilbert Gottfried Additional voices (season 2) - Joel Haver, Marc Winslow, Edson Matus, Rich Evans, Jay Bauman, Dana Snyder External links Category:2020s American adult animated TV shows Category:American animated sitcoms Category:Adult computer-animated TV shows Category:Flash adult animated TV shows Category:Stop-motion adult animated TV shows Category:American adult animated TV shows Category:American adult animated comedy TV shows Category:American TV shows with live action and animation Category:Cancelled shows Category:Adult Swim shows Category:Television series by Williams Street Category:Single-camera sitcoms