Return to Zork

Return To Zork is a 1993 adventure game published by Activison and developed by Infocom. Wizard Trembyle "Hey! I sense movement. I've been talking a long time! I need a new battery! Can you hear me!? A new battery!" "This used to be called the Valley of the Sparrows. It's had a name change recently." "I sense we're near the lighthouse. Ask that old fool how the Road to the South is." "That old bore! Did you hear the joke about the appetite of the boar in the Forest of the..." "What year is it? Oh, yeah! The Great Diffusion was 1247. That was 400 years ago. My birthday's coming up soon." "Oh no, not a test." "That guy's so drunk, even his plants are potted." "Their eysight isn't that good, but..." "Uh-oh. We're near Canuck's house. I've known Canuck for a long time. I'll see you later." "That's not the way I remember it. Rooper had to turn him into a duck in self-defence. Canuk's Whacko... now he's Quacko! Ha-ha-ha!" E. Rufus Rooper "Ah, the sweepstakes winner! I've been looking forward to... no! No! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllpppp!" "Ah, the master strategist. You'll have to teach me the finer points of Survivor." Lighthouse Keeper "It's a good thing you knew the password. It's not safe out there." "What's your problem, take it easy, will you? Everybody's on edge around here. Be calm. I'm calm. See how calm I am? I'm calm! (pause) I've been having dreams. Those dreams. Horrible dreams. Morphius. It keeps saying." "The Road to the South is impassable. Absolutely... impossible to pass! Impassable." "Thanks. I don't smoke." *coughs* "What was that?" "No, not more double negatives pal." "Not bad." "Don't you know how to do anything else? Maybe you could use a little de-caff." "AAAAAHHHHHooooooooooooooooooooooohhh...." "Phew! Hey, come back when you don't smell so bad! Ugh! Gas mask!" "Hmmm? I don't know how you did it, but you managed to get back here without the one thing I desperately need." Guardian of Zork "We seem to be working at cross purposes. I must relieve you of all your belongings ...until you learn." Mayor of Shanbar "I... beg your pardon? But you are a guest in our town! ACT LIKE IT!" "That's better. You've already got one foot in your mouth." "Have you been drinking with Boos Miller?" "I'll call the sheriff! I will. I'll lock you in a cell with a grue. STOP IT!" "I think that is highly inappropriate behaviour. I am a loyal public servant, if you don't think so. I suggest you express your opinion on election day!" "How many Implementors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's a hardware problem!" "Ugh, would you mind standing a little... further back?" Mavis Peepers "Good work habits. I like that. First, we're going to have a little...pop quiz." "Uh-uh-uh!" "I'm so happy to have someone to ask this of. Would you be so kind as to record what happened to East Shanbar and what caused it? I can't go myself. I have to be here incase any of my students come back." "Oh. Do you think you have to go outside for anything?" "Get that out of here this instant!" "You can't sneak out of this classroom that way. I'm on to you!" "Aha-aaagh!" Waif "Whoa, you scared me. Stay back." "Stay back! What do you want?" "Yeah, but what's it to you?" "Why do you want to know about me?" "Do I scare you because I'm dirty and alone?" "No! Don't hurt me with that!" "I escaped from the Cliffs of Depression." "My father gave that to me before I escaped. He said it was good luck. I want you to have it." "Oh, you've got a bonding plant! My father had one of those, but when he went to the cliffs, it wilted and he couldn't leave." "Oh, it's you again. Stay back, okay?" Boos Myller "Who are you? ...Don't matter." "Want some rye? Course you do!" Toast: "Here's to us." "Who's like us?" "Damn few!" "And they're aaaaaaaaaalllllllll... deeeeeeaaaaadddd!" "I'm too...drive to drunk!" "What did you do that for? We were having a fun time!" "You keep that." "WHA?!! Was that you?" Moodock "Nothing I can't do for yer..." "The name's Moodock. Moadikum Moodock." "You're not as dumb as you look." "Yar' see ya got sixteen squaaaarrs" "That wasn't very smart." "Two out of three, huh?" Molly Moodock "Ooooh a visitor! Well how nice! Come on in!" "Ooooh pictures! I just looove pictures!" "That's my husband Moodock, he has a shop down the path 'round there, yep that's him." "That little 'Miss Know it all' feeds her cows her carrots so they can see better in the dark." "MOODOOOOOCK!" "Phew! Excuse me but I think you are little overripe. I mean, you really smell baaad!" "Your room's right upstairs, you're in Room 1." "Oh, back again? You want your same room back? It's still available." Blacksmith "Come back later." "...oh, Oops! Huh, sold it to Ben Fyshin, huh. I made a mistake! Huh. Here, give him this!" "I know that language. Two zorkmids!" "One zorkmid, here! Can't read it now!" "Is that your sword? It's just so dirty when you brought it in here, you just don't recognize it." "Okay! Okay! I'll look around." (sniffs) "You STINK!" Ben Fyshin "You looking for something? Just got boats here. Two zorkmids." "Hey, that's cheap!" "Well, I've got one ready!" "You know, that reminds me of a special knot called the... cow-hitch." "Oh, hiya, sailor!" "I don't want to have to do this..." "She's a witch. I had a fight with her a while back. I don't know what about." "Appreciated." Rebecca Snoot "Huh?" "Hold it right there. I've got a few questions to ask you. I'm warning you!" "See if you can figure this out." "See you later." "Okay, you're all right. But next time, try to use the door. I know you're on our side." "There you are! Dad always said that milk is good for your eyesight." "Vultures are good for one thing and one thing only - their talons. They make great boomerangs." Angus Pugney "You lying thief! I hope the Guardian will be gettin' yer for that!" "Go away! I haven't got anything for yer. I've only got one milk cow, and she only eats carrots! So just go away?!" "Ah. It's alright. Just take what you need and go away! and you can take that ludicrous box out there too. I didn't order it, and I do not want it. The missus didn't order it, *and she doesn't want it. And the cow don't need it either, so just take it and go." "Please...leave me alone..." "Oh! I know that one. Four jokes and learned essays upon them. It's by Bisboz. No, I canna read dat. I don't have the tongue. I just talk like ev'ryone else." Witch Itah "Oh hello. The potion's not ready yet. But you could use a cup of tea. Frogs have to boil down just a bit. I used too much water. (chuckle)" "Some guest!" "Most people wouldn't dare smile at a witch. But it's so special of you to smile at me like that!" "Bored, are you? A walk in the bogs will cure that." "It's wise to take care. One wrong move can cost you dearly." "Oh... for me?" "I must take your boat. Why don't you take that stick so you can navigate the bogs? Thank you. You're such a dear!" "Have you ever tried to milk a cow with cold hands?" "These little darlings! They're so useful... and so are their by-products." "Let me see... Oh, it's in zorkmid script. Do you know why most Zork jokes are one...line...long? So Flatheads can remember 'em!" "Ugh, get out of here. I only use fresh ingredients for my potion." Fairy "You big...fat...orc!" "I'm a fairy!" "So we meet again. It was brave of you to get past the hunter. I could've handled him myself though. We were just playing around." Tree Spirit "Nature conservation is your on-ly hope... for a - future. Treat us kind-ly." Canuk "Ahhh...thank you. I was getting tired of eating bugs and fish. I found some really juicy grubs down by the brushes." "You've been travelling a long time. Is there anything you need help with? Maybe I can...shed some light on your path." "(evil voice) Fool! Yozozzo!" "That's (evil voice) illumynite. (normal voice) Oh, pardon. Pardon me." "(evil voice) Why don't you take that to the Cliffs of Depression? They might know what it is." "Oh, you came back! Please sit down. No-one visits me anymore." "I built that with some friends of mine... Trembyle, Moodock, and Rooper. Rooper turned me into a duck. Why did he turn me into a duck?" "Oh, I know there's a piece of the disc in that bottle. I put it there myself. I can't get it. I'm too old. But, I can shrink you so you can go inside and get it! (evil voice) Yes! Go on! (normal voice) By the way, the spell will only last 20 minutes." "Twenty minutes! (evil voice) Twenty minutes. (laugh)" "(evil voice) You! I'm not falling for that stupid reflection trick again! Yozozzo!" "Oh, you've got a pet vulture. (evil voice) They're all mine! MINE! Every mindless ONE of them! (laughs)" "Rooper...rooper turned me into a duck. Why'd he turn me into a duck?!" Cliff Robberson "Okay, so you think you can make me laugh? Go ahead. Make me laugh." "You sound like my mother!" "Don't worry, they're not deaf, just quiet." "If you think you can do it, do it right." "Get out of here! You only have a few seconds left. Look at your bonding plant. Come back later." "Game's over for you." "Oh. Not only do your jokes stink. But so do you." Holy Woman "You have the true sword - let me bless it." Troll King "Invader! So, you've made it this far! You may have killed my brother trolls, but you won't... kill... me." "I wonder what powers you possess! You're not match for me." "First you kill my brothers, and now you want to be friends?!" "Hmmmmm... Perhaps you're already stoned. Let me see. (laugh)" "Daah!" "No! Spare me! I'll give you this necklace. It's got magical powers. Magical powers!" "Don't... hurt... me!" "I got the Dwarven sword! I'm a troll! A troll! I'm leader of the trolls! And there's no... comparison! Whoo! Ha-ha-ha!" "You're afraid? There's no reason for you to be afraid." "THAT'S PATHETIC!! FIGHT LIKE A TROLL!!!" Dwarves "How many rocks of illumynite do we have... left?" "Keep those lines straight!" "Just who do you think you are? You're outnumbered!" "Munch, munch... looks right..." "Phew! Would you get out of here!" Morphius "I am... Morphius." "You will play the Wizard Trembyle. I, will be Canuk." "You'll make quite a statue! (laugh)" "Are you... giving up?" "Do you... forfeit?" "You cheated! I... never lose! I never lose! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." External links Category:1993 video games Category:Sega Saturn video games