Love Stinks (film)

Love Stinks is a 1999 comedy film. It was written and directed by Jeff Franklin. Sometimes the best sex in the world...just isn't worth it.taglines Dialogue Chelsea: All I ever wanted to do was spend my life loving you, you disgusting sack of shit. Seth: If that's all you wanted, then why did you hire the sleaziest lawyer in town, you pathologically deluded, morally bankrupt, in-denial, self-esteem-deficient bitch on wheels? Chelsea: I am NOT in denial. Larry Garnett: It's like a hooker taking a trick to court to get him to pay. Holly: Don't call my best friend a hooker. Larry Garnett: That's right, a hooker tells you the price up front. Seth: You've put me off women. I'm gay now. And not just a little gay-full on, Liberace gay. Chelsea: I really like this guy. I think that Seth could be the one. Holly: Are you serious? Does he feel the same way? Chelsea: Please, he's a man. He has no idea how he's feeling. Holly: We're going to go over strategy. Now, remember, Chelsea, it took me three breakups, seven ultimatums, and God knows how many not-so-thinly veiled threats before Larry coughed up this ring. Chelsea: Oooh. Okay, whatever it takes, I'm gonna marry that man. Seth: Nice job, you fucked up date night. Seth: Drop the probe and step away from my ass. Seth: I'll sure your ass for damages for damaging my ass. Seth: Back to Hell, demon. Back to hell. Seth: But we agreed to $100,000. We shook on it. We had sex on it. Chelsea: Hate sex. [on phone answering machine] Seth: If you have a message for me, leave it after the beep and if you have a message for Chelsea then you REALLY HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF WHY. Seth: [in the shower] Oh my God! My hair is falling out! Chelsea: You know stress will do that to ya! Seth: Holy shit! It's really falling out! Chelsea: That's so weird! [Seth's hair begins to fall out rapidly] Seth: Oh my God! Oh, Jesus! Oh my God! Oh, jeez! [steps out of shower and looks into mirror] AHHHHHHHHHHH! What did you do to me? Chelsea: I didn't do anything! You must have used my hair remover instead of your conditioner. Seth: Noo! YOU PUT SOME IN THERE TO FUCK WITH ME! Chelsea: I didn't do it! I swear! Seth: Ooooohhhhh man, you are the fuckin' devil! THE DEVIL! Chelsea: Can I make it up to you? Seth: What did you have in mind? Chelsea: Back rub, blow-job, breakfast in bed. Seth: The three B's! It has a chance at working. Chelsea: [sleeping in bed with Seth, he farts and the pets disperse] Ugh, you are such a pig! Seth: Oh... man, I am so sorry! You know I had beans and broccoli for dinner and I washed them down with some crab cakes... [farts loudly] OH!... Chelsea: [simultaneously] EWWW! Ew! Ew! Seth: Goodness! I am so sorry. Would you like to spoon me? Because, I feel like I'm past the worst of it, and I need some cuddle-time - Oh, wait, no, I was wrong. Incoming! [farts] OH!... Chelsea: [simultaneously] Ugh, you're sick! Ew! Seth: My goodness! Keeping the neighbors up, huh? Feet are on fire. Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! [farts rapidly, four times] Oh, man! I've got skills! I've got game! Ah... mmmm - oh! [farts loudly] Ole! Taglines Sometimes the best sex in the world...just isn't worth it. An "Un-romantic" romantic comedy. If you can't be with the one you love...make their life a living hell. A movie about a relationship...that's worse than yours. (An Un-Romantic Comedy Cast French Stewart - Seth Winnick Bridgette Wilson - Chelsea Turner Bill Bellamy - Larry Garnett Tyra Banks - Holly Garnett Steve Hytner - Marty Mark Jason Bateman - Jesse Travis Tiffani Amber-Thiessen - Rebecca Melini External links Love Stinks 0188863 Category:1999 films Category:1990s American films Category:American romantic comedy films