The Secret of My Success (1987 film)

The Secret of My Success is a 1987 American comedy film about a talented young man can't get an executive position without rising through the ranks, so he comes up with a shortcut, which also benefits his love life. Directed by Herbert Ross. Written by Jim Cash. There's no such thing as an overnight success. Brantley Foster took two weeks. Brantley Foster [on entering his newly rented apartment] All right, listen up. If there are any bugs in here, or rats, or anything that has more legs than I do, you just stay on your side of the room, okay? I'll stay on mine. I should warn you, I'm packing an iron. Please God, help me get out of this. I swear I'll go all over the world telling people not to screw the boss's wife. Dialogue Employer: I'm sorry, Mister... Brantley Foster: Foster. Employer: I'm sorry, Mr. Foster. We need someone with experience. Brantley Foster: But how can I get any experience until I get a job that GIVES me experience? Employer: If we gave you a job just to give you experience, you'd take that experience and get a better job. Then that experience would benefit someone else. Brantley Foster: Yeah, but I was trained in college to handle a job like this, so in a sense I already have experience. Employer: What you've got is college experience, not the practical, hard-nosed business experience we're looking for. If you'd joined our training program out of high-school, you'd be qualified for this job now. Brantley Foster: Then why did I go to college? Employer: [laughs] Had fun, didn't you? Grace Foster: Take this. It's Uncle Howard's phone number in New York. Brantley Foster: I've got an uncle in New York? Grace Foster: My cousin Ellen married his half-sister's nephew, before she got bit by that dog and died. [Brantley said "good morning" to an executive] Fred Melrose: Not the suits, man! You never consort with the suits unless they consort with you first. Brantley Foster: Wait a minute, that's ridiculous! He's a person, I'm a person. I can't say hello to him? Fred Melrose: He's not a person, he's a suit! You're mailroom. No consorting. Brantley Foster: [after sex] Can I make a personal observation? Vera: Um, anything but the thighs. Brantley Foster: You know, somebody sold you a bill of goods and convinced you you had to be 21 forever. I think you're terrific; I think the only thing wrong with you is your husband is a jerk. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're sensuous... Vera Prescott: Say that again! Brantley Foster: Which part? Vera: All of it! [sounds of car] Vera Prescott: Oh, no. Brantley Foster: What, what is it? Vera Prescott: It's the jerk. [Brantley rushes to the window] Vera Prescott: My husband. Brantley Foster: My uncle! Vera Prescott: Your what? Brantley Foster: Oh God, that makes you... Vera Prescott: Auntie Vera? Brantley Foster: Oh! God! [Vera laughs] Brantley Foster: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! What's my mother going to say? I've disgraced my whole family! Vera: Oh, the hell you did! Fred Melrose: Hey, you look like death on a cracker, man. What happened to you? Brantley Foster: Well, I was chased by a 200 pound dog with a mouth as big as my head. And that was the best thing that happened last night. Fred Melrose: What was the worst thing? Brantley Foster: Got laid. Fred Melrose: Not sure you got your priorities straight, Brantley. Brantley Foster: We have a problem. Vera Prescott: What? Brantley Foster: It's your husband: he's my boss. Vera Prescott: O-oh, him. We won't tell him. Besides, Howard's working late tonight - on whom, I have no idea. Brantley Foster: [reading mail while sorting] Some of this stuff doesn't make any sense. They send requisitions through two departments to get procurements for a third. What kind of thinking is that? Fred Melrose: That's suit thinking. Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. Cuts off all the oxygen to his brain. Brantley Foster: Aunt Vera, listen, since the last time we met there's been a change. Vera Prescott: Yes... nice suit, Brantley! [she starts undressing him; he tries to escape] Brantley Foster: Agh! Ow! Look, what I mean to say is... Oh, Christ! I'm not free any more! Vera Prescott: What, you're going to charge me? Oh ho, you're getting awfully cynical - does your mother know about this? Brantley Foster: Ohh, no, I am not available. Vera Prescott: Oh, good, you're not going to charge me. Brantley Foster: Look, I like you, I really like you, but I gotta tell you, I have become seriously and emotionally involved with someone who isn't my aunt. Vera Prescott: I forgive you, Brantley. Vera Prescott: I'm going to introduce you to the most powerful money men in New York, and if you can do to them what you've done to me... Brantley Foster: I can't do that! Vera Prescott: I mean bowl them over, darling! You're irresistible when you turn on that boyish charm. Howard Prescott: Let me get this straight - Brantley is Whitfield? Brantley Foster: That's right. Brantley is Whitfield; Whitfield is Brantley. Vera Prescott: And Christy is the bimbo! Well, now that we've all had Mouseketeer roll call, I'm just going to go call my lawyer. Howard Prescott: No, wait a minute. Christy is not the bimbo I was screwing around with at the office. Christy Wills: People better stop calling me bimbo! Howard Prescott: It was an entirely different bimbo altogether. Vera Prescott: That's fine; how many bimbos would you say there were? Howard Prescott: I misspoke myself. There weren't any bimbos at all. Brantley Foster: Except Christy. Howard Prescott: Right. No! Brantley Foster: At least I didn't sleep with the boss. Christy Wills: No, you slept with the boss's wife! Brantley Foster: She seduced me! Christy Wills: He seduced ME! What's the difference? Brantley Foster: I couldn't help it. You went willingly. Christy Wills: I suppose you were tied up in chains. Brantley Foster: No, the question is how many people did you sleep with in order to get to the top? [Christy throws a vase at Brantley, smashing it] Vera Prescott: That was a very expensive vase, you BITCH! Christy Wills: SHUT UP! What I did was my business, not yours! Brantley Foster: No, you mean it was company business! Christy Wills: [snarkily] That's right! And that's all it was. Business! Brantley Foster: I'll tell you something, sweetheart. You're very good at your job. [Brantley leaves, Christy starts crying] Brantley Foster: [to Fred and Jean] Whoa, whoa, listen, I'm going to need your help, both of you. Fred Melrose: Is it something I could get fired for? Brantley Foster: Absolutely. Fred Melrose: I like it! Cast Michael J. Fox - Brantley Foster Helen Slater - Christy Wills Richard Jordan - Howard Prescott Margaret Whitton - Vera Pemrose Prescott John Pankow - Fred Melrose Fred Gwynne - Donald Davenport Gerry Bamman - Art Thomas Carol Ann Susi - Jean Drew Snyder - Burt Foster Elizabeth Franz - Grace Foster Christopher Murney - Barney Rattigan Mercedes Ruehl - Sheila Cindy Crawford - Herself (uncredited) External links 0093936 The Secret of My Success Category:Films directed by Herbert Ross Category:1987 American films Category:Comedy films Category:Films about adultery Category:Films set in New York City Category:Films set in offices Category:Business films