The Simpsons/Season 29

The Simpsons (1989–present) is an American animated sitcom broadcast by the Fox Broadcasting Company created by Matt Groening. The series is a satirical depiction of American life, epitomized by the Simpson family. The Serfsons [Marge cooks food for her family] Homer: Aw, water soup again? [Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup] Marge: Now, it's crow soup. Homer: Ooh, I call an eye! Lisa: Me too! Bart: Me three! Marge: And Maggie gets the break. [Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie] Maggie: Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah! [Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it] Lisa: Lousy nobles. We serfs are starving, while they're feasting and jousting and posing for tapestries, where they're friends with a unicorn. As if any unicorn would like them. Unicorns like nice people. I'm a nice person. [Homer pokes his father's spider web, looking for his mother-in-law's] Grandpa: Son, is that you? Homer: No. Springfield Splendor Whistler's Father Bart: Isn't this great,baby alone time. Where's Maggie’s Peek-a-boo. Lisa: Well, what do you think of my late pick-up room? Ned: It's wonderful, hard to believe it's the same room they found all those dead rats in. Lisa: Maggie, you can whistle? [she gasps surprisingly at Maggie's talent.] you're gifted too, maybe more gifted! Treehouse of Horror XXVIII Lisa: No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me. Bart: [sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason. [Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain] Lisa: Daaaad! I can't listen to this horror! Homer: Okay, I'm onto it. [Homer bites the mouth off] Lisa: Thank you. Marge: Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed. [Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu] Maggie: No one leaves alive! Marge: Ooooh, her first words! Dr. Hibbert: Someone's starting their terrible twos. [chuckles] Maggie: Someone's having an affair with his nurse! [Bernice glares at Hibbert, who quickly takes out a thermometer] Dr. Hibbert: Say "Ahh!" Maggie: Aaaahhhh-DULTERER! Maggie: [possessed] I am Pazuzu, demon of the southwest wind! Lisa: Wait, wait, so you're not even as powerful as the south wind or the west wind? How lame is that? Maggie: I used to be very important. Google it! [Introducing the final story, "MMM... Homer"] Lisa: What you're about to see is so disgusting, you'll watch Game of Thrones to calm down. You have been warned! Grampy Can Ya Hear Me The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be Helen: She's completely cooked. Unlike the children she brought to the potluck. Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, Helen is a bitter as the lemonade she brought to the potluck. What a terrible potluck that was. Sideshow Mel: Why wasn't this a town hall event? I like to see them balance on the stools. Homer: Marge, can you cook a Hot Pocket in the dryer? Marge: Homer Simpson, the only time you shut your mouth is to keep food inside! Singin' in the Lane Reynolds: Well, here's $400, and screw you. Bart: Wow. I finally found my path in life: socio. Mr. Lisa's Opus Homer: Why you little -- Bart: I'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home. Homer: Why you disappointing -- Bart: You know, you're choking someone who can vote. Homer: But did you vote? Bart: No. Homer: Why you little -- Homer: Sweetie, marriages are like water heaters. They sit peacefully for years, until they explode in a fireball, ruining everything you own. Gone Boy Bart: Nothing good ever comes from trying. Haw Haw Land Otto: I brought my stems. [Otto opens his coat to reveal a bag with stems in it] Security Guard: Sir, this is a conference of science, technology, engineering, and math. [the points to a STEM sign] [Otto walks to a DOPE sign] Otto: But what about this one? [Dr. Hibbert walks out of the room next to the DOPE sign] Dr. Hibbert: Dialogue on pedriatric education. Frink Gets Testy Mr. Burns: I need you to tell me who is worthy of surviving the Apocalypse with me. I only want the sharpest razors in this town's Halloween candy. Homer is Where the Art Isn't Mayor Quimby: Did you know we had to lay off a third of the police force? That's right: Eddie. Eddie: I used to have a gun! Manacek: Your story had everything: a field trip, a dream sequence, Sideshow Mel. 3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage Fears of a Clown No Good Read Goes Unpunished Marge: We're going to spend family time together without watching TV. Lisa: Mom is right - Americans watch way too much TV. How many hours? Let me Google that. [uses her iPhone and laughs] Instead of TV, I typed "TB"! Let me Google that! [The family all start using their iPhones and consoles, to Marge's annoyance] Marge: Turn off the devices, pronto! Lisa: "Pronto!" Odd word. Let me Google that. Bart: Hey, I'm doing something educational. Marge: Educational, my foot! I saw pixels. Bart: It's Tunnelcraft. A simulated world, where you explore, mine resources, and work with friends to build replicas of real buildings. Marge: Can you die in it? Bart: Yes. Marge: It's a video game! [The Simpsons are in a book store] Homer: [reading book title] "Man-Killing Snakes of the Amazon". Library Owner: Sir! Never say "Amazon" in a book store! Lisa: Something that started decades ago and was applauded and inoffensive is now politically incorrect... What can you do? [glances at a picture of Apu] Marge: Some things will be dealt with at a later date. Lisa: If at all. King Leer Homer: If the beer's in a frosted mug, you're not alcoholic, you're an aficionado. Marge: Homer, what's your favorite movie? Homer: Fast and Furious 6. Marge: And what's the theme of that movie? Homer: Cars. Marge: What was the OTHER theme? Homer: [gasps] Family. Lisa Gets the Blues Homer: Well, we did it, kids. And the best thing is, the next episode will beat Gunsmoke. Bart: What about all the episodes they made on the radio? Homer: [mad] Have a beignet. Forgive and Regret Lisa: Oh, I hate confrontation. [shivers then nervously glances at Bart] Bart: So just leave your body. Lisa: Ok. [Lisa leaves her body and appears as a spirit] Lisa: Oh my god! - Hey! [camera pans downward to see Bart slapping Lisa's face. Lisa possesses herself back and pushes Bart] Left Behind Ned: [plays Christian parody rock music in the car] Homer: Maybe we should talk. Ned: Well, of course, my friend! Wanna talk about Jesus? Homer: No. Ned: Wanna talk about Ecclesiastes? Homer: No. Ned: Wanna talk about baby Jesus? Homer: [turns Christian rock back on] Throw Grampa From the Dane Flanders' Ladder [As the family hook up the VCR] Bart: Gross, the remote has a cord on it! Homer: My first remote. Coincidentally, the same time I got fat. Maude Flanders' Ghost: You've got to talk to me, Bart. Bart: Leave me alone, leave me alone! The power of Homer's socks compels you! [He holds them up; Maude screams and flees] [Nelson and his gang confront Homer, wearing Ghostface masks and armed with T-shirt cannons] Nelson: Maude Flanders says hello. Homer: [cheerfully] Hello! [They fire T-shirts at him, knocking him down] Nelson: Let's move! [they leave] Maude Flanders' Ghost: Thank you, Bart. I'm finally at peace. [starts to float away] Bart: You know Ned remarried? Maude Flanders' Ghost: He WHAT?! Bart: Dad! Homer: [turns red in anger] Why you little... [angrily strangles Bart] life-saving, heaven can waiting! External links The Simpsons (season 29) Category:The Simpsons seasons