J. B. Morton

John Cameron Andrieu Bingham Michael Morton (better known by his preferred abbreviation J. B. Morton; 7 June 1893 – 10 May 1979) was an English humorous writer noted for authoring a column called "By the Way" under the pen name 'Beachcomber' in the Daily Express from 1924 to 1975. Quotes One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. By the Way (1931), p. 282 Hush, hush,Nobody cares!Christopher RobinHas  Fallen    Down-      Stairs. By the Way (1931), p. 367 Dr. Strabismus (Whom God Preserve) of Utrecht has patented a new invention. It is an illuminated trouser-clip for bicyclists who are using main roads at night. Morton's Folly (1933), p. 99 Rush hour: that hour when traffic is almost at a standstill. Morton's Folly (1933) The Doctor is said also to have invented an extraordinary weapon which will make war less brutal. It is described as a very powerful liquid which rots braces at a distance of a mile. Gallimaufry (1936), "Bracerot" The man with the false nose had gone to that bourne from which no hollingsworth returns. Gallimaufry (1936), "Another True Story" Erratum. In my article on the price of milk, 'horses' should have read 'cows' throughout. Through Borneo (1937) Mr. Justice Cocklecarrot began the hearing of a very curious case yesterday. A Mrs. Tasker is accused of continually ringing the doorbell of a Mrs. Renton, and then, when the door is opened, pushing a dozen red-bearded dwarfs into the hall and leaving them there. Diet of Thistles (1938), pt. 7 External links Category:Novelists from England Category:Journalists from England Category:1893 births Category:1979 deaths Category:Humorists Category:Catholics from England Category:University of Oxford alumni