Will & Grace (season 9)

Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Main Will & Grace (1998-2006, 2017-2020) is a popular U.S. TV series. The main characters are: Will Truman, a gay attorney; his best friend, Grace Adler, a straight Jewish woman who runs her own interior design firm; Karen Walker, a very rich, alcoholic socialite; and Jack McFarland, an effeminate gay struggling actor. The show takes place in New York City. 11 Years Later [9.01] Karen: You're not still living together, are you? Will: No! Well, she's living here right now... Grace: Staying here. For just a couple of weeks until the dust settles. Jack: On your genitals? Grace: On my divorce. Jack: Because of your genitals? Grace: You are so woke. I used to be woke... now I use my pussy hat to smuggle candy into movies. Who's Your Daddy? [9.02] Bridget: Rosario sent me up. I'm here to represent the staff. We'd like a raise. Karen: Gimme a break, Mrs. Potato Head! Bridget: Rosario said, "Don't leave until the woman pays us what we're worth." Karen: Did she call me the A-word, the B-word, or the C-word? Bridget: Yes, ma'am. Will: For me, my coming out was pretty typical. My mom cried, my dad drank, and my grandmother got rabies. Unrelated, but just a rough weekend all around. Emergency Contact [9.03] Jack: I don’t work today! It’s so expected. You’re my lawyer - get me out of this. Will: In the case of McFarland v. Reality, the Supreme Court ruled: Grow Up. Tasha: Why is your friend at the lady doctor? Karen: Why does anyone go to any doctor? Fear and pills. Grandpa Jack [9.04] Will: Wow, Elliot, look at you. You're a real Texan. Elliot: Yeah. I drink Kool-Aid and I don't separate church and state. Jack: [to Skip] This place can't fix you, because you aren't broken. How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying [9.05] Beverly Leslie: Well, well, well. I must have died during surgery, because the Devil herself is before me. Karen: Why, Beverly Leslie. I thought they'd torn down all the corroded, old Confederate statues. Jack: You know what hurts more than the money? Although, make no mistake, the money hurt a great deal! I thought you were a good person! Theodore: Well, that's entirely on you, because I have given you absolutely no reason to think well of me. Rosario's Quinceanera [9.06] Karen: Sorry I'm late, but I got here as soon as I wanted to. Lorraine Finster: You married my father. I slept with your husband. That makes us family. A Gay Olde Christmas [9.07] Will: I am done with Christmas! Who feels like celebrating anyway, with all the crap going on nowadays? Jack: I don't understand you, Will. This is the one time a year when fat people are supposed to be jolly. Will: It's not going to snow. There's no such thing as miracles. Christmas is for spoiled rich kids. And Santa is just another old white perv we once trusted. Grace: Oh, my God, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. Will: I was downstairs wringing the Christmas goose. Grace: Don't you think you should do that in private? Friends and Lover [9.08] Jack: Don't mind me, I just need to get a few things. I'm entertaining a gaggle of gays across the hall. Will: I believe the correct term is "a giggle of gays". Jack: Ah, she stands corrected. Grace, where's your shame pizza? Grace: I do not have... Jack: Grace... Grace: Vegetable drawer. Jack: [examining the pizza] This is a pepperoni pizza, but there's no pepperoni, just crop circles of cheese... Grace: IT CAME THAT WAY! [Will and Grace find out they're sleeping with the same man] Will: Well, this is a first. Grace: Yeah. Will: We did say we wanted to do crazy things. To feel young. Grace: Well, sexuality is fluid now. It's what young people do. Will: You know what young people don't do? Say "That's what young people do". There's Something About Larry [9.09] Grace: I'm being nice. Pretending to care about something when you want to kill yourself is what a human being does. Jack: Thanks for lending me your car, Karen. It's so fancy! What kind is it? Karen: A black one. Oops, I mean an "African-AmeriCar". Better watch out for the PC police. Now, take me to Jew-dorf Goodman, you big, mincing butt pirate! The Wedding [9.10] Will: I need closure, Grace. I need to find out why he broke up with me. Grace: You don't. Will: It's two minutes of his time. What could go wrong in two minutes? Grace: Ask every girl who ever got pregnant at her prom. Grace: Did you just steal a badge from a cop? Karen: Did you just eat an entire tray of sliders? Grace: I'll keep your secret if you keep mine. Staten Island Fairy [9.11] Grace: Will! I just got amazing news! Karen: Grace got an STD! Grace: I did not say "STD", I said "QVC". Karen: Well, they're both ways to get something cheap that looks awful. Drew: If I'm gay, isn't coming out of the closet a good thing? Jack: It was once. But you know how people thought eggs were good for you, but then we discovered they weren't? Drew: But eggs are good for you. Jack: Tell that to the chicken who just lost a child. The Three Wise Men [9.12] Jack: Mother always said the best way to get over one guy is to get under, behind and sideways with another one. Will: All right, I am off to the tennis club. I know what you're thinking - didn't I already work out this morning? Yes, but if I burn off a few more calories after work, I can hit the pressed juicery. I know, those things are pure sugar, but what can I say, I love 'em. Karen: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait - oh, my God, I didn't know this was going to be a story about juice! You know what, back it up, start at the beginning, and really drag it out this time, okay? Sweatshop Annie & The Annoying Baby Shower [9.13] Karen: [on the phone] One pound of proscuitto, one pound of mortadella, five kinds of cheese, from mild to stinky, big vat of coleslaw... [to Jack] Almost done. Jack: Are you ordering a deli platter? Karen: Having phone sex with Stan. Grace: This is all your fault! Will: How is this my fault? Grace: Because you made me write down my feelings like a WASP instead of eating them like a Jew! The Beefcake and the Cake Beef [9.14] Grace: Oh my God, you scared me! I thought someone was robbing the place! Jack: I'm not robbing the place, I'm just rifling through drawers looking for money. Grace: Why are the hot ones always gay or Nazis? One Job [9.15] Grace: We are going to Schenectady. Will: Schenectady? But that's where your family lives. Grace: We are going there to celebrate my mom's birthday. It was her dying wish. Will: I thought her dying wish was for you to get breast implants. Grace: She had a lot of dying wishes. Will: My dad always wanted me to watch golf with him. Martin: Really? What's your handicap? Will: That I hate golf. It's A Family Affair [9.16] [after a family dinner party has gone badly] Grace: I'd like to thank you again for inviting my dad. Will: My pleasure. And thank you for inviting my mom. Grace: Yeah. I thought when I did it, "Oh, that'll show him!" I forgot that I live here too. Jack: Estefan, this is Will and Grace. Will, Grace, Estefan. Estefan: [looking at Grace] Oh, this is Will! Look at him, with his square jaw and wild mane of red hair! Grace: What? No! I'm not Will! I'm obviously a woman! Estefan: Maybe you are not the one to say what is obvious. Jack: He's got you there, Grace. Category:Will & Grace seasons