Kerching

Kerching (2003–2006) is a sitcom aimed at teenagers on CBBC that details the lives of Taj, Danny and Semour. The programme revolves around the Chill - a local restaurant - and Taj's 'Rudeboy' money-making schemes. Series 1 Taj: I've lost 10 grand! Danny: Check down the back of the sofa. Danny: Hey look it's what's-her-name, flea, flame, fla... Taj: Fleur. Danny: I was getting there! Seymour here's your big chance! Seymour: Don't rush me bro! I'm leaving her, twisting in the wind, waiting for the right moment, then I'll strike like a cobra! Danny: pretends to chuckle to himself You're too scared, aren't ya? Seymour: Oh yeah! Danny: All my love i've got to send ya! 'cos you're so pretty fine and tender... Seymour: Stop, stop. I didn't know you felt this way about me :’’’Danny’’’! Fluer: Oh Hiya Seymour. What you been up to? Seymour: I... i i erm. been you look, i mean.... Fluer: I hope the end of these sentences are good! Danny: and Taj laugh in the background Seymour: Thats erm me yeh erm funny haha no funny erm weird. Ricardo walks in. Ricardo:Alright me lovely (to fleur) where have you been all my life? Taj: Sane! While you haven't been bothering her. Did i mention i am Sonny on Hollyoaks now? Series 2 Taj: I'll tell you three things I did wrong (looks at Danny) 1, walk like I was wearing cardboard underwear (looks at Seymour) 2, act like I didn't care and 3, listen to you two glovepuppets! (Walks off) Danny: (counting on fingers) isn't that four? (Seymour hits Danny and holds up three fingers) Taj: Oh great, pay me in cans. Danny: How you gonna fit that in your wallet? Missy: (to customer) Like I told you an hour ago, I'll be with you in a minute. Seymour: Do we have to wear the chef's hats? Alex: It was the only way I could get Carlton to lend us his kitchen. Danny: How's he going to know if we don't wear them? Carlton: You'd be surprised! Danny and Seymour are caring for a baby simulator Seymour: You're a good baby aren't you Ainsley! Danny: I'm not calling our baby Ainsley, she's Kareesha-sha-sha-sha! Seymour: Danny, she's a he! Danny: How do you know? Seymour: How do you think I know? Danny: Ainsley it is then! Ricardo: My Dad says he's always known I've had talent. But now, he's says it time I have some real responsibility... Danny: What, he's going to let you tie your own shoelaces?!! Seymour: You sent a Rudeboy Master, with Taj's name on it, to Ricardo. You, you plughole! Danny: But, but you confused me, man! Seymour: Danny, bananas confuse you! The boys try to steal back the Rudeboy Master from Hip City Taj: Where's Danny? Seymour: He's under trance! (Danny pops up from behind a vinyl disc section labelled "Trance") Taj: Now I'm gonna be late meeting Alex because of you two! Seymour: Don't blame me, blame DJ Airhead over there! Series 3 Flashback: start of Rudeboy Younger Taj: I'm the man now. Do you know what that means? Younger Danny: First pick of the biscuit tin! Younger Seymour: No Danny, you...you...biscuit tin! Ricardo: We're called 20-20. Michael: Because you have a clear, creative vision? Ricardo: No, because there's 40 of us. We make So-Solid-Crew look like Nobby-No-Mates! Kareesha: Carlton finally got another waitress. And fancy being called "Baz". Jazmin: Actually it's Jaz-min. Danny, Seymour, Taj, Omar, Mrs Lewis and Kareesha look at her Kareesha screams (Ricardo is unsure whether to go and live with his mum in Italy, or with his Dad in Manchester) Michael: But I thought you loved in Italy, bro. Ricardo: Yeah, but I can't speak a word of Italian. Alex: Then move to Manchester with your Dad. Ricardo: If I can't learn Italian, how am I gonna learn Manchesterian... Michael rolls his eyes Danny: After discovering Taj was dating Alex You mean lying. Tajan Lewis! How dare you treat your boyfriends... I mean friends like this. Series 4 Danny has sent the childish radio advertisement jingle Rudebunny to a local radio station, and it is playing. Taj: Danny what was the last thing I said to you before you left?! Danny: Don't get 'em mixed up Taj: And what did you do? Danny: I got 'em mixed up Characters Taj Lewis - Devon Anderson Seymour Franklin - Tendayi Jembere Danny Spooner - Jamie Sweeney Missy Lewis - Tisha Martin Kareesha Lopez - Velile Tshabalala Josephine Lewis - Judy Browne Omar Lewis - Jaeden Burke Ricardo Murray - Danny Young Carlton - Curtis Walker Tamsin - Hannah Tointon Leon - Joe Gritt Alex Moss - Elspeth Rae External links Kerching! Kerching! game BBC summary of the programme Category:UK sitcoms Category:Teen sitcoms Category:BBC shows Category:Cancelled shows