P-Valley/Season 2

P-Valley 1 2 Main Season 2 Pussyland [2.01] Autumn: [To Andre] I guess Chucalissa crept up in my veins like a good vice. Woddy: Ain't you scared? Murda: No. I ain't scared of the living. Autumn: Nothing works. Paint the walls red, bloodstains also bleed back through. Big Al: Hand me that hex key. Clifford: Chile, what that is? Clifford: [To Autumn] Ain't no use in being the richest bitch in the graveyard, Hailey. Autumn: [To Clifford] I gave you 15 percent of ownership. Big Al: Is that what getting rid of bodies goes for nowadays? I'm just asking ... for a friend. Big Al: We got denied a relief loan again, talking about how we non-essential. Clifford: How is we non-essential? Do they know how many niggas run around here with blue balls? Clifford: Jupiter, I hope you don't got no baby-daddy drama. Jupiter: I don't even know who he is so we good. Mercedes: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Autumn: C'mon. Last dance. Mercedes: Sheee-it. Uncle Clifford: [To patron] I'm gonna need you to come deep inside. Patron: [To Autumn] You dancin' tonight? Big Al: You don't want to see that dance. Autumn: Need a receipt? Patron: No. Uh-uh. I don't need no evidence. Big Al: Smart man. Seven Pounds of Pressure [2.02] Autumn: [To Andre] I'm waiting on that big-dick offer. You gonna give it? Woddy": [To Murda and Big Teak] Somebody's got to be alive to bury y'all. Clifford: I'm too much of a cat to be fucked by a kitten. Uncle Clifford: [To Corbin] Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Uncle Clifford: It wasn't five years ago that you didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Corbin: Well, thank God for dad daddies. Clifford: And dead mayors too. Autumn: [To Corbin] We appreciate your low-dick offer. Uncle Clifford: But we're wondering if there might be some bigger dick out in the sea. Autumn: Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel. Big Al: [To Mercedes] Might have gotten us out of a hole. But even the Devil started out as an angel. Bailey: Do you ever get (Autumn's) real name? Keyshawn: You never ask a stripper her real name. If she's gonna give it to you, you gotta earn it. Uncle Clifford: [To Big Al] Well, tell them we ain't open ... yet. Corbin: Well, closed legs don't get fed. Mercedes: I ain't no motherfuckin' coach. Autumn: You are, actually. Big Al: Give me your name and give me your number. Big Bone: They call me Big Bone, baby. Big Al: Big Bone, meet Big Al. The Dirty Dozen [2.03] Murda: You kiss sloppy. Keyshawn: You welcome, nigga. Duffy: Your friend [whispers] can't be dropping knowledge like that and walking away. Roulette: She do that sometimes. Whisper: You really might be from Hell. You got a lot of darkness in you. Roulette: Excuse you? Whisper: That wasn't no shade. We all need a little Hell in our lives. It makes you appreciate the light. Mercedes: I ain't no ho. Farrah: You're getting paid $10,000 a weekend to have sex in a condo with my husband, correct? Don't worry. I don't get paid that much and I have to lay under him all fuckin' week. Want to trade places? Mercedes: Hell, no. Patrice: [To Wayne] The only reason you on the ballot is because the mayor's dead. But I digress. Clifford: [To Big Bone] You'd best bring your best poppin' playlist because we opening doors, legs, and wallets... Clifford: Can't nobody replace Mercedes. Autumn: Everybody can be replaced. Clifford: [To Autumn] 69 is a real nice position to take. It shows you can suck it and take it at the same damn time. Patrice: [To Terrika] You sure look like Mercedes when you lie. Coach: I don't need the exposure. Mercedes: But I bet you need that Mercedes experience. Mercedes: [To Roulette] Mind the business that pays you. Demethrius [2.04] Mercedes: [To Autumn] You're an easy bitch to love but an easier bitch to hate. Clifford: You look like a man whose wife has just cheated on him. Andre: I am. Clifford: Well, damn. Clifford: You need some sugar. Ernestine: All the sugar I need is that black panther over there. Farrah: What if I fall? Mercedes: What if you fly? Duffy: [To Clifford] You know I got ho's and bro's in all different areas, don't ya? Farrah: [To Mercedes] So why were you in such a hurry to leave us all high and wet? Brittany: What you doin', Andre? You ain't gonna win. Andre: Well, I've certainly got nothing left to lose. Autumn: Corbin, what's you doing here so early in the morning? Corbin: It's noon. Autumn: I guess I'm still on stripper time. Murda: Woddy, where my promos at? Woddy: You would look good in some lashes and some nails, too. Uncle Murda is the name. Ernestine: Well, there goes the 'hood. Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to give it right back to you, topped with a side of jalapenos, because I'm a classy bitch. Roulette: [To Big L] Well, you just earned me a side of 'not your business' with that salad. Well, I'm going to... Brazil: 'Lette, I don't know why you complainin'. Work on the street is you got diverse income streams. Roulette: Bitch, what you talking about? Clifford: [To Lauren] You that heifer that fell asleep under the table after throwing up her whole divorce... Lauren: Most importantly, everyone needs to wear a mask at all times. Uncle Clifford: Don't you see what the fuck's on my face? White Knights [2.05] Rome: Don't worry. I already cleared everything with your little Justin Bieber. He's great. Keyshawn: That wasn't the deal. I gotta get home. Keyshawn: [To Rome] Rome, can you stop? You makin' me seasick. Savage [2.06] Big Bone: Why you don't do security for The Pynk no more? You must have tried to save one of them ho's that wasn't ready to be saved. Diamond: Who told you that? Big Bone: Your eyes. They're so heavy that every time you be fuckin' me, they be closed. Next time, I want those chestnut eyes wide open. Big Bone: What is it? Diamond: It's protection. Big Bone: You don't seem like the type of nigger that needs no protection. Jackson [2.07] Autumn: [To Clifford] History is important, yes, but so is the future. Autumn: I thought you ghosted me. Uncle Clifford: Child, I'm the last ghost you need to be worried about in this here building. The Death Drop [2.08] Mercedes: Maybe I ain't meant to fly no more. Clifford: Niggers come to see you fall, not fly. And your injury ain't in your shoulder. It's in your head. Uncle Clifford: [To Mercedes] Uh-uh-uh. Ain't no cryin' in The Pynk. Snow [2.09] Stripper: Mercedes must get it from her momma. Andre: Blame my rise in the polls for the passion I have for my hometown. Newscaster: Or perhaps that stripper magic. Mississippi Rule [2.10] Corbin: [To Andre''] Don't mind me. Liquor makes me a little cunty.Brittany: Well, I guess I deserve this, huh?Andre''': Yeah, you fuckin' do. Category:P-Valley seasons