Abbott Elementary season 1

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 | Main Abbott Elementary (2021–present) is an American mockumentary school comedy, airing on ABC, about a group of teachers brought together in one of the worst public schools in the country, simply because they love teaching. Pilot [1.01] Janine: That is incredible, Ms. Howard. I can't wait to get on that level. Where is your class, by the way? Barbara: Out in the hallway in a single file. Janine: Really? Barbara: Mm‐hmm. Kindergartners: Good morning, Ms. Teagues! Light Bulb [1.02] Tariq: Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Janine: I left that, uh, bill‐organizer thing on the fridge. Tariq: Mm‐hmm. Yeah. I'll get to it. Janine: Okay. Yeah, but, no, I was just thinking, like, you'd get to it kind of soon because my name's on the lease and we were already late on rent once. Wishlist [1.03] Janine: Huh. What thing? Jacob: You know, that thing, where you look at something and you're like, "That's good." Janine: Well, I'm adding a filter that's gonna rain glitter, so... Jacob: That's not gonna compete with singing parrots. It just needs a little showmanship. Janine: Well, I'm not a showman. New Tech [1.04] Will: "Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result." Ava: Mm. I know that's right. Will: Can I have a break? Ava: No, keep reading. It's just getting good. Barbara: Mnh-mnh-mnh. Absolutely not. Let's go. Ava: Come on, Barbara. You owe me an Audible membership. [final lines] Student Transfer [1.05] Ava: Hey, girl. Janine: Hey, Ava. You know I can't just leave my classroom unattended like this, right? Ava: It's five minutes. It's not like something could go wrong in five minutes. Janine: A lot can go wrong, actually. Ava: If you say so. Anyway, one of Melissa's students will be transferring into your class. Janine: Really? Why? Ava: Girl, I don't know. Things happen all day. Maybe she wants to be closer to the bathroom. Maybe she like you more. Maybe she got some kind of Meek Mill-Drake feud going on with one of her classmates. I don't know. Janine: Maybe she likes me better. Gifted Program [1.06] Barbara: My youngest, Gina... She participated in a young-engineers program. It did wonders for her. Janine: Mm. Barbara: Looks good on a college application, too. Janine: Mm-hmm. Hey, Gregory, what do you think? Gregory: Oh, I think I've been here for like five minutes, so I don't really have a say. Art Teacher [1.07] Janine: That is Ava. She's funny. Sahar: Well, I'm so excited to be here. I cannot wait to collaborate. Janine: Okay, let me go show you around. Come on. Ava: Pulling off overalls? That's not easy. Work Family [1.08] Janine: You know, a lot of people are slow to warm to Tariq, but you guys get along so well. Maybe you should come out and get pizza with us this weekend. Jacob: Oh, I can't. I'm busy on Saturday. Janine: I didn't even say a date yet. W... Oh, I see what's happening. You don't want to be the third wheel. Jacob: No. Janine: No, don't worry. I actually know a great guy I want to set you up with. Jacob: Uh, thanks, but I don't know how my boyfriend would feel about that. Janine: Your what? Jacob: My boyfriend. Janine: You have a boyfriend? What's his name? Jacob: Uh, Zach. Janine: Zach? And how long have you two been dating? Jacob: Like a year, plus another year. Janine: Jacob, how did I not know any of this? You've never mentioned him. Well, actually, I guess I just answered my own question. Jacob: I thought you knew. I mean, I could've swore I told you. My friends say I won't shut up about him. Janine: Your friends? I thought we were friends. Jacob: We are. Yeah, we're friends. We're just, you know... Janine: "You know" what? Jacob: W-Work friends. We don't talk about real deep stuff. Janine: You told me when you got a tapeworm in Zimbabwe. Jacob: Um, um, yeah, I was... I was trying to be helpful, in case you ever go to Africa. Look, work friends are still friends. They're just, like, friends in one place. Janine: Well, I thought we were friends in all places. Step Class [1.09] Janine: Hey! Melissa: Oh. I-I got... I got a conflict. Janine: You don't know what it is yet. My class is putting on a step show next Friday. We made so much progress. Barbara: Oh, we hear you in there, stomping the yard. Melissa: Yeah, you sound like a regular Major Payne. Janine: Yes, well, we are building something. Barbara: I love a good step show. It's so good for the kids. Janine: Right? Ava: Who gave you permission to put this on my wall? Is this Comic Sans? Open House [1.10] Janine: Oh! Dig on me. Taylor: Yes. Because, ultimately, she just wants me to be someone like you. Janine: So... now is probably not a good time to talk about the parent-teacher con... Barbara: No. Janine: Okay. Right. Desking [1.11] Janine: We're going about this all wrong. You know you don't build a dam in the middle of a river, you build it before the water comes. Jacob: That is so wise. Ava: [simultaneously] What the hell are you talking about? Melissa: So this Zack, he lives with you? Jacob: Yeah he just moved in last month. Melissa: And that's going...well? Jacob: Yep! He's so great! Ava: So he knew you and was like..."More?" Jacob: Mmm... Zack: [walking in and hugging Jacob] Hey there's my guy! Ava: BLACK!? Zack: It's actually pronounced "Zack." You must be Ava. [Everyone gives Ava a look] Ava: You were all thinking it. I see you, don't look at me like that! Barbara: We always look at you like this. Barbara: SWEET BABY JESUS AND THE GROWN ONE TOO!!! MY DESKS HAVE BEEN DESKED!!! Ava vs. Superintendent [1.12] Barbara: Even in a world where Ava could put together a competent presentation... Melissa: Mm-hmm. Barbara: ...it still does not change the fact that the Superintendent can't stand her and, by extension, us. Melissa: The nerve on that guy. Barbara: Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year where the school board finally awards me that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to for 10 years. Melissa: They will if we make them. Just like a little... gentle arm-twisting. Barbara: A little arm twist never hurt. Zoo Balloon [1.13] Children: Just like that! Tariq: When I move, you move. Children: Just like that! Tariq: When I move, you move. Children: Just like that! Category:Abbott Elementary seasons