A Minecraft Movie

thumb|First we mine, then we craft. Let's Minecraft! thumb|I… am Steve. thumb|That’s a legend. A Minecraft Movie is a 2025 adventure comedy film about four misfits who are pulled through a portal into a cubic world that thrives on destiny, having no choice but to master the world while embarking on a quest with an expert crafter named Steve. Directed by Jared Hess. Written by Chris Bowman, Hubbel Palmer, Neil Widener, Gavin James and Chris Galletta. Steve thumb|…as a child, I yearned for the mines. thumb|Creativity in this world is key to survival. thumb| It is harder to create than to destroy. That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce. thumb| Chicken jockey! I… am Steve. My name is Steve. And as a child, I yearned for the mines. But it didn't really work out. So, I did a terrible thing...I grew up. Yep, that's me. Same shirt, same pants. The only thing missing was my soul. Creativity in this world is key to survival. First we mine, then we craft. Let's Minecraft! Oh, these dudes? They're the villagers, they are just chill guys, they like to chill, trade and eat buttloads of bread. They love crushin' loaf. Flint and steel! Relax, That is an iron golem, don't worry about them, they are friendly, up until you start messing with the villagers, don't ever do that! Kid, anything you can dream about here, you can make. Zero limits. You know what I'm talking about. This is a crafting table. Here's how it works. You place these elements in different patterns, and kaboom! You got yourself a sweet blade! [About the Nether] There was no joy or creativity at all. Just a mindless lust for gold. Don't fall for it, Gar-Gar! That baby's got the heart of a demon! Chicken jockey! Sneak attack! [repeated line] [voiceover] Turns out, if you're brave enough, you can make the real world... your Overworld. [Garrett's game store is now "The Overworld"] Garrett finally leveled up. And his store became the hot spot! [Garrett high-fives a seated elderly couple, and inside, Natalie is painting art on the side of an arcade machine as kids play the game] Together, we all joined forces to create the new hit game, Block City Battle Buddies. Yeah, we're still in the beta phase, working out a few bugs. But let me tell ya, life... is pretty perfect. Garrett Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison. Gamer of the Year, 1989. Whatever. I barely think about it. Fear is just weakness hijacking your body's cockpit. We’re not in Idaho anymore. I think this is Wyoming. Listen, kid. The point is, there's no "I" in team. But there are two in winning. Tell my story in song. Keep it metal. Keep it heavy. Real instruments. Dawn [to approaching skeletons] Come on, boys. [pulls the lever and detonates explosives] Have a nice flight! [whistles at the Great Hog] Hey, Captain Buttcrack! [it turns around to her and Dennis the wolf] I got something for you! [The Great Hog and a few Piglins laugh in response] Get him, Dennis! [Dennis and fellow wolves cohorts charge and attack the Great Hog and the Piglins] Whoo! Take a bite out of that pig! Natalie Do it, Henry! I got this! [Henry uses his tot launcher to fire the ender pearl to the top of the portal, where he teleports underneath the orb] Go, Henry, go! [hears a roar and turns around to see the Great Hog behind her] Finish this, Henry! [Henry attempts to apprehend the orb but the Great Hog sends him falling] Malgosha [cackles evilly at gathered forces] All right, my piggies. Today, we take the Overworld as ours! Attack their villages. Burn their homes and their symmetrical farms. All they have created, we destroy! [the Piglins cheer] Well, what are you standing around for? Get out of here! Go on, bring me the gold! [Golems march onto piglins] Ha! Newsflash! Iron golems will not attack unless provoked! [laughs evilly and Travis fires his crossbow at one of the iron golems, triggering them, she groans] Real smooth, Travis! [The lead golem smacks a Piglin away and an epic battle commences] [to the Great Hog] Oh, for goodness' sake! Well, what are you doing, you big block of meat? Get down there and take care of those Roundlings! [The Great Hog roars and charges into battle] How do you like them pork chops?! Alex Hey, do you wanna come in? I'm Alex, by the way. Dialogue [A pig wearing a crown walks by] Henry: Whoa, is he some kind of king? Steve: No, that's a legend. Steve: You ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava and chicken? I did, and you're about to find out. Garrett: Pssh. Steve: Uh-ohh! [Flips a switch, cooking a live chicken in lava] You hear that? That’s the sound of Sizza-LEENG! Smell that smell? [Singing] La-la-la-lava. Ch-ch-ch-chicken. Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah, it's tasty as hell. Ooooh, mamacita, now you're ringing the bell. Crispy and juicy, now you're having a snack. Ooooh, super spicy, it's a lava attaaaack! Garrett: I have a small business too, but one thing I try to do is not have my jingles suck butt. General Chungus: [approaching the village] Hey, Steve! What's going on, dude? Steve: Crap! Chungus. General Chungus: I'm really sorry, but I have to unalive you and stuff. Steve: Agh! Malgosha double-crossed me! General Chungus: Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. Malgosha: [groans] Bring out the beast! [a piglin whispers to her] What? What do you mean, you just have to put the brain in? Well, yes, it's a big deal. Get it done! General Chungus: Look, everybody knows it wasn't my best day, but I'm really trying to set some new goals and... [a gate opens up with a big, brutish Piglin roaring in] Malgosha: The Great Hog! My ultimate weapon. [the Great Hog rushes over to her] There he is! Kill him! General Chungus: Wait, does this mean you're firing me? [The Great Hog fires his arm cannon at Chungus, reducing him to a pork chop] Malgosha: [laughs evilly] Well done! Now find the roundlings, and bring me the orb! Natalie: We are so lost. My one job was to protect Henry, and I blew it! [sighs] I just promised my mom I'd never let anything happen to him. I guess I'm just not cut out for this parenting stuff. I just wish I could have been a kid for a little bit longer, you know? Just to have that feeling like I could have done anything. Dawn: I hear you. Being a grown-up sucks. You got all these responsibilities, and you just stop chasing your dreams. You think I like having 15 hustles? Steve: Nice work, Gar-Gar, your little detour almost got us killed. Garrett: Relaje, you're so dramatic. We're still alive. Henry: [angrily] What's your problem, man?! We didn't need those stupid diamonds! I swear, you are literally the most selfish person I've ever met! Garrett: Whatever. I need them, okay? I need the diamonds, because I need the money, because I'm broke. You wouldn't know anything about that. My life sucks, kid. All right? I'm a frickin' loser. There, I said it. I know it looks like I got it all put together, right? I'm smart, funny, bilingual. El humble to un el faultot. But that's not the reality. I'm not doing well. I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything. And that's not the worst part. I'm alone. Henry: You weren't alone. I was your friend. Steve: Sorry about your finances. Garrett: Shut up, Steve. [In a fancy restaurant] Marlene: Wow. I feel like you get me, and you're an incredible listener. And only people with emotional intelligence are good listeners. You know, I just didn't think it was in the cards that I would have another first date, ever, you know? I wanna have the guts to invite you over to my house for dessert. Waitress: [referring to untouched steak] Are you finished? Marlene: No, I think he's Swedish. But we're done with our meal. Steve: There it is. The Woodland Mansion. We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal, and get you guys home. Follow me! [They follow Steve to a planning table of sticks and stones representing a map] Check this out! Let's do this! Pay close attention to Papa Steve. The Woodland Mansion has three floors. The first floor is loaded with vindicators. Axe murderers, basically. Garrett: Why is the third floor on the first floor? I'm very confused. Steve: I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make, like, a dollhouse. [Holds an Evoker figure] The second floor crawls with evokers. They wield powerful dark magic. Garrett: This is the worst model I've ever seen! Henry: Garrett, stop talking! We're trying to figure out a plan. Garrett: Bro, how long are you gonna be mad at me for? Henry: I just got mad at you! Garrett: Please don't be mad at me for this, okay? But I accidentally stole the orb while you were crafting. [Holds out the orb] We cool now? Henry: You are literally the worst person in the entire world! Steve: Guys! Both of you, eyes on my demonstraysh! Third floor houses the loot chamber. That's where the Earth Crystal is. [Holds an Enderman figure] But it's guarded by Endermen. Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye. They'll fry your brains out! Henry: Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor, sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal. Garrett: That's a great idea, Hank. Steve: But to pull it off, we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion. You know what could work on these guys? Garrett: It sounds crazy. Steve: Hit me. [Steve and are performing in The Woodland Mansion] Steve: [Rapping] Friendship is the wish you make when you're blowin' out the candles on your birthday cake! Garrett: [Rapping] Don't be a bully, and don't be a brute! Time to put on... Steve and Garrett: [[Rapping together] ...your birthday suit! Steve: [Rapping] Go, Hank, go, while we blow! Steve: You got this, Gar-Gar! Reach down deep! You're the Chugless kid and I love ya! Garrett: What's going on, Steve? Steve: It's some kind of sadistic Vindicator Fight Club! I've heard of these, but never seen one! Garrett: They want me to fight the chicken? Steve: It’s a fight to the death, kid! [A wooden crate lowers above the chicken before opening up to drop a baby zombie onto the back of the chicken, with it cooing before growling menacingly] Chicken Jockey! [In the wrestling ring, the zombie boy leaps in the air at Garrett who pulls back the ring rope, lets it go, sending the zombie boy flying who falls to the ground crying] Garrett: [Ashamedly] I’m sorry, little buddy. Steve: Don't fall for it, Gar-Gar! That baby's got the heart of a demon! Garrett: [Approaching the zombie boy] No, you're not a demon, are you? You're a cute little booger-face. I'm just gonna pet your little head. [Holds out hand and zombie boy turns and bites down on Garrett's hand who screams] [Henry stares into the eyes of the Enderman, and he starts seeing hallucinations of his friends turning against him] Hallucination Garrett: You'll never be as cool as me, Hank! Just give up! Hallucination Steve: The Overworld doesn't need you, Henry! Neither do I! Hallucination Natalie: This is all your fault, Henry! Everything you do fails! Hallucination Garrett: [Holds up his notebook] This stuff? It's trash, kid. [Throws book gets thrown into the fireplace and Henry snaps out of trance] Henry: What the...? Steve: Heck yeah. I got you, Gar-Gar. [Picks Garrett up] Come on. Garrett: [Surprisedly] You... you saved my life. Steve: That's what friends do, Garrett. [Suddenly, Henry drops down from above holding the Earth Crystal] Hank! Did you get the Earth Crystal? Henry: Yeah, I got it. Steve: Let's get out of this hellhole! [Steve, Garrett and Henry leave the mansion with Malgosha and forces arriving] Malgosha: I knew I'd find you dummies here! Steve: It's her! Malgosha: Of course it’s me, you fool! I’ve been tracking your scent from two biomes away. [Points to a new Great Hog] Check it out! I even built me a new hog! Steve: Malgosha! Your reign is over! Malgosha: You're wrong! It's just beginning! Henry: [Use staff to magically suck Earth Crystal from his bag to her staff] No! Malgosha: Hah! Steve: No! Malgosha: [Points staff at them] Kill them! We have work to do! Goodbye, Steve! [Laughs evilly, flies away in her hot air balloon with two hordes of Piglins approaching them on both sides with all of them carrying boxes of TNT] Steve: No! They're going to blow this bridge sky high! Garrett: Sorry, Hank. Henry: What? [Garrett throws Henry onto hot air balloon platform with him knocking off all Piglins] Steve: Yeah! [Gets out a slime cube] Slime cube! [The lime cube blows up and Steve trampolines onto hot air balloon] Come on, Garrett! Jump! Garrett: I can’t, Steve! Get him out of here! Go, Hank! Save your sister and get home! Henry: Garrett, you don't have to do this! Garrett: Tell my story in song! [Makes a sign of the horns gesture] Keep it metal. Keep it heavy. Real instruments. Besides... [puts on sunglasses] I love luaus. [Proceeds to run at Piglins kicking two and punching two] Spin kick! [Grabs one] Garbage toss! Oh, crap! [Throws one carrying a TNT box and it explodes massively with Steve and Henry flying away in hot air balloon with a leaking hole] Henry: No! Steve: We're going down! Brace for impact! [Hot air balloon crash lands] Steve: [Wakes up with Dennis the dog licking him] Dennis? Dennis! It's you! It's really you! Gimme... [kisses Dennis] How'd you find me?! Dawn: He's one heck of a wolf! He led us right to you guys. Now I understand why you kept yourself so filthy and smelly, so Dennis could find you one day. Steve: [Sees sky darkening with a pink beam shooting out of Malgosha's lair] No. No! The Great Darkening! It's begun! Malgosha's gathering all her forces! She will destroy this land! Unless... we go get that Orb! Dawn: Well, what are we doing here? Let's go fight some pigs! Natalie: I'm ready. I'm done with those pigs. Henry: Yeah, me too. Steve: Let's do it for Gar-Gar. First we mine, then we craft. Let’s Minecraft! Right! [Puts out hand in center with Henry, Natalie and Dawn complying] One, two, three! [They all whip hands up]Natalie: Team! Steve, Henry, and Dawn: Get the orb! Dawn: Orb. Steve: What are you saying? Dawn: "Minecraft." Steve: We should all say that! On three! One– forget it, there's no time! Steve: Okay, 'Goshe. Let's dance. Malgosha: Bring it on! [Steve rushes at Malgosha who fires pink beam from staff at Steve launches himself from blocks lands a few feet away from her who uses her staff to destroy his armor]Steve: My diamond armor! [gets out some eggs] Egg attack! [throws them at Malgosha] Frizz! Malgosha: What is this, breakfast? [eggs spawn chickens that attack Malgosha]Henry: Garrett, you're alive! [hugs Garrett]Garrett: Yeah! Between us, I used Steve's water bucket trick. Pretty cool, huh? Henry: Little bit. Garrett: Let's get this orb and go home. [steers the Ghast through the battlefield] All right, Hank. It's fireball time. Grab that spear. I want you to jab it in the tentacles. [Henry grabs the spear and jabs the Ghast's tentacles, making it spew fireballs at the Nether portal] Whoo! Jab it! Yeah! Henry: How'd you learn how to do that? Garrett: Don't ask! [the fireballs destroy the Nether portal, dropping the orb while bringing day back to the overworld with the zombies burning up while the Piglins zombify]Malgosha: [watches in horror] No! What have you done? The orb! [the orb bounces from portal near the Great Hog, who picks it up with the lead golem punching it upward, flies up to pound it on head who falls down dead, with the drop falling down]Natalie: [the orb lands in in Natalie's hand] Yes! Dawn: [walks forward to Garrett] It's good to see you, Garbage Man! Garrett: Yeah, dude! Steve: Parry! Thrust! [knocks the staff out of Malgosha’s hands before pointing his sword at her] You failed, witch. The overworld lives on. Malgosha: You, too, have fallen for the great lie. You'll never be happy. Deep down, you know. To hope, to dream, to create is to suffer. Steve: You're right. It is harder to create than to destroy. That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce. Later, 'Goshe. Every minute knowing you has been a horror-show waste of time. Malgosha: [tries to leave] Wait! One more thing. Come closer. Steve: Do you have a little knife that you're gonna try to stab me with? Malgosha: No, no, I'm too weak. Steve: [sighs] All right. Come on! Malgosha: It was worth a shot. [as he tries to leave] Wait, wait, let me say one more thing. Come closer. Steve: No way! Malgosha: No, really, it's about you. Steve: [sighs] Fine. [walks over to Malgosha]Malgosha: Lean down here. Steve: [leans down, Malgosha tries to kill him with a sword, but he smacks that away, annoyedly] You really are the worst. Goodbye. [leaves]Malgosha: This is it, really. Come back! I don't even have a knife! Where would I keep it? [Steve waves her off in disregard] Sneak attack! [finally, she faints before dying from the sunlight]Steve: Hey! You sure you want to go back, Henry? It won't feel like this. There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles. Henry: Yeah, I know. But I'm going to go make stuff anyway. [Natalie tussles Henry's hair]Steve: I like that. Garrett: Mmm. Garrett: You're a brave kid. Dawn: Steve, you still cool with this? Steve: Yeah. [to Dennis] Come here, boy. [caresses Dennis's head] Yeah. Of course I still love you. That's why I think this is a good idea. You changed my life. It's time for you to go change hers, too. [sings] Go now, Dennis. Change Dawn’s life, Dennis. Go on a journey and think of me, Dennis. Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams. My doggy, doggy, doggy. My... Dennis. [howls melodically before crying]Dawn: If I would've known you could sing like that, it would help me get past your smell. Steve: [join arms in hands] Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior and a really good friend. Garrett: I wish you'd come home with us. Hank’s cool, but I don't have any friends my age. We would make a great team. Vaya con Dios. It means "goodbye", brother. Natalie: No, it doesn't. Garrett: [turns Steve's head with finger] Don't look at her. It does. Natalie: Are you sure you don't want to come back? Steve: Yeah, I'm staying here. I got a bunch more stuff I want to build. Natalie: Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world? [they go through portal]Steve: Screw it. I’m coming with. [enters portal] Cast Jason Momoa – Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison Jack Black – Steve Emma Myers – Natalie Danielle Brooks – Dawn Sebastian Hansen – Henry Jennifer Coolidge – Vice Principal Marlene Voices Rachel House – Malgosha Jemaine Clement – Daryl and Bruce Jared Hess – General Chungus Matt Berry – Nitwit See alsoMinecraft'' External links 3566834 A Minecraft Movie In the Lost Lands at Rotten Tomatoes Category:2025 American films Category:American action films Category:American adventure films Category:American fantasy films Category:American comedy films Category:American children's action films Category:American children's adventure films Category:American children's fantasy films Category:American children's comedy films Category:Films about parallel universes Category:Films based on video games Category:Films directed by Jared Hess Category:American films with live action and animation Category:American IMAX films