Jack and Jill (2011 film)

Jack and Jill is a 2011 American comedy film about a family man whose ugly, annoying twin sister comes for a visit and soon becomes reluctant to leave. His sister is coming for a visit...and it ain't pretty. Jack Sadelstein [to Jill] Don't forget your sweat shadow. [apologizing to Jill] I'm sorry that you make everyone uncomfortable. I really am. Jill Sadelstein [to Jack] Why are you so afraid to admit that we are connected? Face it. We shared Mom's womb. We were womb-mates. Dialogue Jill: Oh, please! Tell me you don't feel this. [slaps herself] Jack: I didn't feel it. Maybe if you did it harder. [slaps harder] Jack: Little harder. [slaps a little more harder] Erin: No, Jill, stop it. He's kidding Jill: What? [Gary punches her, knocks her out of the chair] Otto: Donkey fight! Erin: Jill, are you okay?. Jill: Yeah, no, I'm fine. Gary, that was... He didn't 100% percent connect. Gary: Feel that, Daddy? Jack: I... I actually did feel something, there. Pride in my son. Jack: I can't believe this. This is insane, man! You gotta call him! Jill: Oh, cool your buns. You know I'm still hurting the whole Funbucket fiasco. Jack: No, but Pacino liked you! I swear to God, he really liked you! Jill: Oh, will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister. Al Pacino: Amongst this princely heap, if any here, by false intelligence... Hold me a foe if I unwittingly... or in my rage, committed aught that is hardly borne by any in this princely presence, I do reconcile myself to his friendly peace. 'Tis death to me to be at enmity, and desire all good men's love. Where were you, Popcorn? Jack: What do you mean? It's 5:30. Al Pacino:No, no, it's 9: 30 my time. I was waiting for you at 5:30. Jack: Oh, it's four hours the other way. I just... I got confused. I... Al Pacino: Okay, whatever, whatever, whatever. What's going on? How's she doing'? Jack: We're, uh, we're, uh, we're coming along. That's how we're doing. Al Pacino: Coming along? What does that mean, "coming along"? What does that mean? Crowd #1: Come on, wrap it up! Jack: It means we're getting there. We just need a little more time. Al Pacino: Put her on the phone. I want to hear her voice. Jack: Ah, she's not here right now. Jill: This reminds me of that boat movie with Leonardo. Erin: Titanic? Jill: No, the one with the iceberg. Al Pacino: Who is that? Jack: That was, uh, Poopsie. Al Pacino: Why won't you let me talk... Hey, can you... You got to be quiet. I can't hear him! All right? Please. Please! Yeah, listen, you get me this girl, or you don't get that Dunkaccino commercial, you understand? Don't you know me? Don't you know I would use all my power, all the power I have, to keep a commercial like that from happening'? Don't you know that? Crowd #1: Is he seriously breaking out The Godfather? Crowd #2: I swear to God, I'm going to cry. Al Pacino: Put her on! Put her on! Crowd #3: Pacino! Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Hang on for a second. I'll put her on. Hello'? Al Pacino: Jill, my darling, just to hear your voice. What are they doing? Why are they trying to keep us apart? Jack: Nobody's keeping me apart from anybody. I'm my own person. You remember that. Al Pacino: Oh, I know you're your own person. Nobody's like you. Stunt Guy: Uh... Would you like a little privacy? I could finish up for you. Al Pacino: No, no, it's okay. It's okay. Nobody wants to see you. But thanks, anyway. Jill. can you meet me when you dock in Spain'? Jack: But what about your Shakespeare show'? Don't you have that to do? Al Pacino: You kidding? This is L.A. They got Bruce Jenner playing Lord Rivers. Jack: Yeah, I don't think so. Al Pacino: Darling, put your brother on. Jack: Okay. Here he is. Hello. Jack's back. Al Pacino: Popcorn, we did it! We did it! I'm coming, I'm coming to get her! Jack: You're coming to get her? She just said, "I don't think so," I thought. Al Pacino: I can smell horny across an ocean. Here's how it's going to go down. 9PM tomorrow top deck, portside. I'll be there. Audience, could you tell me where I was? Crowd #4: But he, poor soul. Al Pacino: But he, poor soul, by your first order died. Cast Adam Sandler - Jack Sadelstein/Jill Sadelstein Al Pacino - himself Katie Holmes - Erin Sadelstein Eugenio Derbez - Felipe / Felipe's grandmother Tim Meadows - Ted Nick Swardson - Todd Allen Covert - Otto Elodie Tougne - Sofie Sadelstein Rohan Chand - Gary Sadelstein Geoff Pierson - Carter Simmons Valerie Mahaffey - Bitsy Simmons Gad Elmaleh - Xavier Gary Valentine - Dallas Kristin Davis - Delilah External links 0810913 Jack and Jill Category:2011 films Category:2010s American films Category:Comedy films Category:Films about twins Category:Screenplays by Adam Sandler Category:Films directed by Dennis Dugan