Billy Bennett

William Robertson Russell Bennett (1887 – June 30, 1942) was one of the leading British music-hall comedians of the years between the two world wars. His monologues often parodied well-known recitations of the time. Sourced 'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year,So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she said: "Your green tie for my little yellow dog." "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 13 There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch;There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green;There's a double-jointed woman doing tricks in Chu-Chin-Chow,And you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din. "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 37 She knows I'm a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers,She knows I stole a blind-man's can...that got me seven years!She knows I've been connected with a gang of West-End Pests,And the police have had me twice inside the cage;And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past,But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage. "My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage", line 11 And you can't part a boy from his father,You can't part a boy from his dad,You can't part a Scotchman from moneyNo matter how many he's had.You can't part the skin of a sausageOr a dad from his fond son and heir,And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed manFor there'll be no parting there. "Daddy", line 33 Remember what the Patriarch King SolomonTold his harem on the night they'd had a few:"Teetotalum overcoatum asqua scutum atomackSonata with tomoto, laringitis, cul de sac."Translation: "If your rhubarb's fallen try and bend it back."That's a motto for the likes of me and you. "Mottoes", line 41 Criticism Billy Bennett – I speak of the artist – was forthright, bawdy, and wholesome…[His] grossness had that gusto about it which is like a high wind blowing over a noisome place. James Agate Immoment Toys (New York, [1945] 1969) p. 225. External links Billy Bennett (comedian) Full texts of Billy Bennett monologues. Billy Bennett at Internet Movie Database Category:Comedians from Scotland Category:1942 deaths Category:1887 births