The Patrick Star Show/Season 4

The Patrick Star Show is an American animated television series and a spinoff of SpongeBob SquarePants. The show features Patrick Star and his family hosting a talk show. Episode 1 Sitcom Stars [4.1a] Narrator: The Patrick Star Show is filmed before a live studio audience. The Show Must Go Yawn [4.1b] Episode 2 The Dating Game [4.2a] Ice Cream Headache [4.2b] Episode 3 A Tinkle In Time [4.3a] TV Or Not TV [4.3b] Episode 4 Two Pests In a Teapot [4.4a] Partiall Recall [4.4b] Devil Plankton: You don't wanna let all that turkey go to waste, do you? Other devil Plankton: [is eating turkey with his pitchfork on Plankton's other shoulder] That would be a sin. [holds up his fork as his devils do as well] You're right! Now, how do I put this? Ah! "Don't be jerky, eat the stinkin' turkey." [eats the turkey piece, Dartfish family gasp] Teensy Tom: It rhymed, so maybe it's true. Sister Dartfish: [gasps] It did rhyme. Mommy Dartfish: He has a point. Daddy Dartfish: A little turkey couldn't hurt, right? [Cut to the Dartfish family chowing down on the turkey, with the turkey skeleton exposed.] Teensy Tom: [burps] Wow, Pickle, that was delicious. Plankton: [rubs Teensy Tom's head] Glad ya liked it, kid. Mommy Dartfish: I've never felt so nourished. Sister Dartfish: Yah. Daddy Dartfish: I couldn't eat another bite. Unless that bite was dessert! [Plankton giggles while his devils cackle] Episode 5 The Haunting of Flim-Flam House [4.5a] FlimFlam brother 1: Alright, let's see what's under this cloat. FlimFlam Brothers, Patrick and Squidina: Old Man GrandPat?! Squidina: But, why are you a ghost? GrandPat: It's actually a very long, meandering story. I was... Patrick: Phew! Saved by the bell. Rube Tube [4.5b] Squidina: So that's it? Replacing me? With Old Man Walker? Patrick: Yep! Just like you replaced me with Rube. Squidina: What are you talking about? I'm not replacing you with Rube. Patrick: You're not? [The raft hits "land." Rube is pouring digestive fluids out of his hat.] Squidina: No! I'm just helping the guy out. I felt bad for him because he lost his- Rube: My crew! [Three skeletons with filming equipment are shown on the other side of the cave. Squidina gasps] Y'all don't look so good. In fact, you look... like you could use something to eat! [The skeleton crew look at each other.] Skeleton 1: Yes! Sounds good. Skeleton 2: I could go for a bite. Skeleton 3: I skipped breakfast. Episode 6 Sea Pals [4.6a] Lil' Past-cals [4.6b] [The episode starts with the Kelpbed Kids kicking a can around. Li'l GrandPat says without audio "I'm going to kick this can into the next millennium!" The words appear on the screen.] Hoops: [reading the dialogue text] I'm... going... to... Squiggly: Aw, phooey! You're living in yesteryear. We're doing talkies now, ya hear? [pulls down the dialogue slide to make it disappear] Li'l GrandPat: Did ya read that, Canny?! [pulls up his pants] I'm gonna kick ya into the next millennium! [Li'l GrandPat's leg shows a tank. He kicks the can incredibly high.] All: Huh? [The can lands in a time capsule the mayor is holding. The Kelpbed Kids take a peek from behind a wooden fence.] Officer Murphy: Aw, not the Kelpbed Kids again. You rascals better not be stirrin' up trouble. Li'l GrandPat: No, sir, Officer Murphy. We're just lookin' for our lost... Canny! Mr. Mayor: And now, we bury this time capsule for the residents of our fair city of Bikini Bottom [drops the time capsule into a hole] to unearth in 100 years! [buries the time capsule] Crowd: [cheers] Li'l GrandPat: It's just a little dirt. We can come back later and-- Mr. Mayor: And now that we've broken ground, please welcome the city's tallest and heaviest skyscraper. [the skyscraper drops directly on top of him] Oof! [A crane drops a giant weight on top of the skyscraper.] Officer Murphy: [laughs] The only way you kids'll be gettin' that can back is if ya happened to be here in a hundred years when they're diggin' it up! Li'l GrandPat: [snaps fingers] Aw, nerts! [iris out and in on all the Kelpbed Kids sighing. Li'l GrandPat looks at the photo of the gang with the can] Oh, Canny. Life's so blue without ya. Squiggly: You said it. Puffy: A hundred years is a long time to wait. Hoops: Aw, if only we could build a working time machine out of all the stuff a kid can find for free. Li'l GrandPat: [gasps] Hoops, you're a regular Einstein! Who says we can't? Episode 7 Zoo U [4.7a] [The Star family is in their van, which is bouncing along the road.] Cecil: Family road trip! Family road trip! Family road trip! [singing as his van leaps into the air] Family... [plays a triangle] road trip! All except Cecil: [quietly clap] Squidina: Great 45-minute song, Dad. But, uh, where exactly are we family road tripping to? Cecil: You see, Squidina, [wraps his arm around Patrick] our little Patrick is becoming a big man now, and it's time he pursues higher education, so we're heading to my old college for a campus tour. Patrick: Since I'm a big man now, can I please get a bigger seat? [his butt is sticking out in his booster seat] This one's giving me a butt cramp! GrandPat: Heh, hippie dippie modern education. That's the problem with today's youth. After dropping out of third grade, I went straight to work in the coal mines! But I turned out just fine. [coughs up soot and a pickax, which he stabs the seat with] Ooh, my old toothpick. [uses his pickax as a toothpick] Patrick: I don't see the point, Dad. [looking at his reflection in the window] Why do I need college if I have my own TV show? [his reflection now displays his show logo] Cecil: Son, there's more to life than TV. A Remembrance Of The Grand-Past [4.7b] Patrick: [in the movie theater with the other Stars] GrandPat! That can't be how it happened! GrandPat: [iris focuses on him] Sadly, that is how it happened. [iris out] Episode 8 Pat-Tathon [4.8a] Perch: Any questions? Pat the Hapless: Could thou runneth that by us again? Perch: No! On your marks, get set... [activates a confetti gun] Seahorses: [frightened neighs, kick their riders off and into the lava] Patricks: [yell, muffled] Aw, nuts! Perch: Whoa! And this Pat-Tathlon is over! By default, the winner is... these three seahorses! [puts the three seahorses on the podium as confetti fires] Seahorses: [neigh] [The TV switches between channels, which are showing footage of real-life seahorses. The Patricks are encased in molten rock.] Patrick: I told you we should've watched Clam Chatter. Pat the Hapless: [yells, breaking his hand free to punch Patrick and knock him over] Patrick: Ow. Upturn's Downturn [4.8b] Lawnies: [chatting amongst each other as they watch The Patrick Show] Lady Upturn: [watching in a royal seat with a pair of binoculars] Ah, the opera. Finally some culture on this tawdry little show. [The show curtains open up as Patrick, in a woman's opera outfit, walks onstage.] Patrick: [opens a can of soda and chugs it, beats on his chest, and begins burping "Toreador Song"] Lady Upturn: [eyes widen, throws binoculars, covers her ears] It's horrid. I am offended. Regigilled, I must get away from this ratchet at once! Regigilled: [a limo appears, which he comes out of] Right away, madam. [opens a small door in Lady Upturn's seat] Lady Upturn: [Patrick approaches her, gasps] It's getting closer! [pushes Patrick away with her foot] Back, you fiend! [enters the limo and catches her breath, sighs] Regigilled, take me home immediately. Regigilled? [yelps as Patrick burp-sings with his face pressed against the window; she sits in the front seat and tries to work a lever] How do you work this infernal contraption? [The limo begins to drive, and runs over Patrick and Regigilled repeatedly in a circle around the Star house.] Patrick and Regigilled: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Judge: For the crime of vehicular assault, I sentence you to twelve months in the big house. Cecil: [claps] The big house? Looks like we're moving in with you, Millie. [Lady Upturn, bandaged and in a wheelchair, slurps some soup that Regigilled feeds her.] Bunny and Cecil: Big house, here we come! [Jail bars appear on-screen as the scene fades to the Stars sitting in a jail cell.] Squidina: Oh, that's what he meant by "big house." Patrick: All we did was run over some rich lady with a boat. Popeye fish: You did what?! Ugh, I am offended! Episode 9 In a Space Pickle [4.9a] Pat-Tron: Pat-Tron's diary. [holding a pictured frame of Quasar] Big mean aliens have taken the captain. Now I'm all alone. Well, I don't know what to do. [Quasar appears wearing nothing but his boxers and shoes.] Pat-Tron: Captain? Is it really you? In your underpants? Quasar: [tosses his water helmet away] Of course it's me in my underpants. I escaped using the teleporter. Pat-Tron: But, wait. Won't the aliens notice you're gone? Quasar: I found a suitable replacement. [Cut to the gems' ship. The yellow and pink gems approach the prisoner cube, which has Rube inside of it.] Pink gem: Captain Quasar, are you ready for your punishment? Rube: [gets up] Hey! Are you aliens? Am I being abducted? Pink gem: Uh, sure. Rube: Golly, and is this a spaceship? And your heads, are they ever big and blocky. [gets kicked out of the spaceship and floats in space] I had a friend with a big, blocky head. Tommy Trotter. Stare Wars [4.9b] Patrick: Looks like all life on the planet has gone extinct. [A gust of wind blows by, swaying their beards.] GrandPat: Looks like it has. Patrick: [raises eyebrow] Maybe we should call a truce? GrandPat: [spits] I ain't backing down. Not as long as I got ground to stand on. [An asteroid hurtles toward Earth and blows it up. Patrick and GrandPat float on a piece of debris before it crumbles away.] Patrick: Looks like we're outta ground to stand on. On account of the whole planet just blew up. GrandPat: So it did. So it did. Patrick: Maybe now we should call a truce. GrandPat: Suppose we should. [Zoom out to them floating in the vast expanse of space, accompanied only by debris of what used to be the Earth] GrandPat: That spoon's probably long gone by now. Patrick: Along with everything we ever loved. GrandPat: Yep. Patrick: So... [holds out hand] truce? GrandPat: Truce. [They shake hands and both slowly blink. They rub their eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. The spoon of cake batter floats by.] Patrick and GrandPat: [talking over each other] It's mine! Mine! It's mine! It's mine! Mine! Mine! [They both grab it at the same time, along with an alien] Alien: Mine. GrandPat: Well, you know what this calls for. Staring contest. [The alien sprouts out an array of eyes from his body and his mouth] Patrick and GrandPat: [look at each other] Eh, you can have it. [float away] [camera irises out on the spoon] Episode 10 Safety Worst [4.10a] Squidina: [narrating the video] Lesson #04: Making Copies! [displays the title onscreen] Mr. Whoopsie needs to make a copy of today's script. [Mr. Whoopsie shows up holding a bunch of papers and shoves them on a printer and keeps pushing them until the printer malfunctions] But instead of doing it properly, looks like he is going to do it the whoopsie way. Mr. Whoopsie: Tchap! Tchap! That thing's on the fritz again. Squidina: Because of you! [an audience sound boos Mr. Whoopsie] Mr. Whoopsie: [pulls out a wrench] Looks like it's up to me to fix it! [shakes the wrench on the broken printer, throws the wrench] Probably a paperjam. Just gonna whooah! [gets sucked inside the printer and printed out as the printer prints out other Whoopsies with different cap colors of green and red saying the same thing and repeating the process] Conga Patrick: [the process stops as a Patrick dressed up as a conga dancer shows up] Everybody conga! rum bam ba bam bum! [Mr. Whoopsies dance in conga line and are stopped with a stop sign] Squidina: Wrong! Nobody conga! Conga lines are no laughing matter! [holds up papers and shows a chart] Recent studies show that conga lines cause ten times more workplace accidents than all other types of dance combined and while the conga might seem like an innocent dance, it almost always ends in tragedy. [shows Squidward as an example of a conga dancer ending up in injury] But that needn't be the case. let's watch as Mr. Goodboy demonstrates proper conga procedures. Mr. Goodboy: [the video transitions to Mr. Goodboy in the situation wearing a hazmat suit and doing a conga with fruit on his head while shaking maracas] Tcha! Tcha! Tcha! [a fire enrolls] De-Pat-Ment Store [4.10b] Patrick: Yeah! I'm sure there's an opening here at my store. Upturn: I'd rather-- [scene abruptly changes to her putting a mop in water and cleaning the floor, grumbling] Patrick: [with the same large pile of items] Keep it up, lady, and one day I might promote you to mannequin! [exits the store] Upturn: I am offended! Patrick: ♪ Shopping, shopping, I love shopping! ♪ [camera irises out as the Upturn's sign now reads "Paturn's"] Episode 11 Doctor Patrick [4.11a] Slumber Party Stars [4.11b] Episode 12 Visiting Vikings [4.12a] It's Too Late... With Plankton [4.12b] Terror On Tape [Episode 13] [The Star family van drives on the road past some leaves. Bunny is in a sheep costume and Cecil is wearing a Little Bo Peep outfit.] Bunny: Did you kids have fun at the costume party? Patrick and Squidina: [Patrick is eating from a bag of candy, both wearing sheep costumes] Yes! GrandPat: [wearing a wolf in sheep's clothing costume] What'd you make this itchy costume out of, sandpaper? Cecil: Another successful Halloween in the books. Now all that's left is to drive home along this long, dark, desolate stretch of road. [the car comes to a halt] D'oh. Why'd the ground stop moving backwards? Bunny: [points to the gas meter] Oh, looks like we're out of gas, dear. Cecil: So that's what that doohickey's for. Welp. [Patrick shuts the van door as everyone gets out.] Cecil: Looks like we're walkin'. Patrick, Squidina, and GrandPat: [groan as everyone starts walking] Patrick: [using his tongue to lick his food-stained tooth, then points to a glowing green ship in the distance] What's that place? Cecil: Huh. Never seen it before. Squidina: Maybe it's a gas station. [they all approach the ship] Huh? [reading the building's sign] "Viddy-Yo-Ho-Ho!"? Cecil: I think it's a video store. Patrick and Squidina: [look at each other] A what? Cecil: [enters] Oh, I used to spend hours at places like this. Squidina: People used to go to a store to buy videos? Cecil: [picks out a video tape] No, even better! To rent videos. Squidina: [picks up a video tape] So, you had to come all the way back to return them, too? Cecil: [giggles] And if you didn't, they'd charge you late fees 'til you did. Hey, why don't we cap off this Halloween with a movie party? Bunny: Ooh, that's a great idea, hon! Patrick: I can't decide what to choose! Cecil: Maybe the manager can recommend something. Hello? [nobody responds] Gotta be around here somewhere. Category:The Patrick Star Show Category: SpongeBob SquarePants Category: SpongeBob SquarePants seasons