Alien Loves Predator

Alien Loves Predator, or ALP, (2004-) is a webcomic written by Bernie Hou. It spoofs the Alien Vs. Predator franchise. Reversing the adversarial relationship depicted in Alien vs. Predator, ALP presents an Alien (named Abe) and a Predator (named Preston) as friends and roommates in current-day New York City. The last update appeared June 2nd, 2011. There is currently no mention of the the status of either Mr. Hou or the comic itself. #1 Abe: "Staten Island"? Now they're just making up places. #2 Preston: OK, Abe just went to hit on some girls on a blanket next to us. Look for them fleeing in disgust. #7 Abe: You know what I'd do if I could cloak? Preston: Sneak into girl's locker rooms. Abe: Fuck yeah! Preston: You do that now! #8 Preston: What celebrity do I most resemble? Abe: Jennifer Love Hewitt. #9 Preston: What is my favorite word? [Abe hits him] Preston: Ow! What the fuck, you fuck! Fucking smacking me in the fucking head! Fuck that fucking hurt! Come here you fuck, I'm gonna fucking... oh, thanks. #14 Abe: Why don't they have weed dating? I'd be all over that shit. Preston: I've got something you should try. It's called "Carbon dating" #16 Woman: Why aren't you wearing pants? Abe: Phew! I was afraid you'd ask me something awkward. #20 Man: Welcome to the open house! Help yourself to some crack! #23 Preston: Who's your daddy? Man: Ah, we meet again. Only this time, the pupil has become the master. Preston: The correct answer was "The Yankees! The Yankees are my daddy!" #24 Abe: Chicks dig dangerous guys! Preston: You don't need any help convincing women you're unsafe. #25 Abe: Will this hurt more or less than having a gerbil shoved up your ass? #29 William Hung Tattoo: Let me eat his liver! #31 Abe: Do they have George Bush the third's inauguration? Preston: Dammit, don't even joke about that! Preston: They have the tenth anniversary Paris Hilton sex tape "Paris falls for a space para-lesbian aboard the starship Tender-Thighs." Abe: Hey, she used my script! #36 Abe: Worship my penis! #42 Preston: Your mom's on the phone! Abe: No, your moms on the phone! #64 Preston: Ok, is it daytime or nighttime right now? Short Taxi Driver: Uh, you mean right now? Preston: Goodbye. Short Taxi Driver: No, wait! Wouldn't you rather know what colour my floor mats are? Or what a dachsund smells like? #87 Preston: For the last time, you're not a ninja. I know you're there. Preston:... You're just lying on the floor, Abe. Abe: Shit! #89 Woman: I hope tonight's Sex And The City is the one where Carrie obesseses over shoes! And men! Man: I have white headphones. Please rob me. Man in orange shirt: I am wearing a bright orange shirt. I am not from here. Abe: I. Am. I-ron man. Da-nanananananana... #90 Preston: Uh, I think you should download a different ringtone, Abe. Abe: Why? What's wrong with- Jesus: "Were!!" It's "What if god were one of us!! #91 Abe: Smile! Preston: Wait, did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one. Abe: Yeah, see, I just made my phone look like a ham sandwich! Preston: That's incredibly useful. Abe: Hey, a ham sandwich! I need to take a picture o' this! #93 Preston: I can do 70 pushups with my penis! #96 Preston: Thank y-- Hey! What the-- This is "Predator seeking Predator"! What the hell is going on in this cover shot?? #115 Voice mail: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Say 'clean' or 'soiled' underwear. Preston: GRRAAARRGGHH Voice mail: The rest of this menu will be presented in interpretative dance. #121 Abe: Now I suppose you want some dating pointers. Preston: This'll be good. Abe: Girls like it when you use a fly swatter to give 'em a little swat on the cheek. Abe:Oh! You didn't think I meant butt cheek did you? That...that'd be be inappropriate. #121 Preston: Man, even Jesus is groaning at your mom jokes now. Abe: To Jesus Okay, your mom- Jesus:--Is a well documented virgin. And? Jesus: Zing. #121 Front page: JESUS: YOU'RE ALL BLOOD SUCKING CANNIBALS AND I HATE YOU External links The Official Site Alien Loves Predator