Superhero Movie

Superhero Movie is a 2008 American comedy film that spoofs the superhero genre, in which orphaned high school student Rick Riker is bitten by a radioactive dragonfly, develops super powers (except for the ability to fly), and becomes a hero. Written and directed by Craig Mazin. The greatest Superhero movie of all time! (not counting all the others) Rick Riker/Dragonfly If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah! I think I have...superpowers! I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position. I met a guy at Craigslist. Those are Celine Dion lyrics! [to Jill] I realize, we can never be together. Lou Landers/Hourglass Why yes. This is, healthy cough blood. Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too! Are you frickin' insane?! No, crazy is hearin' voices, talkin' to cats, datin' Paula Abdul. I am not crazy; I...am a visionary! I just shat my pants. I met a girl at Craigslist. [last words, before being killed by his hourglass bomb] Oh, fuck. Uncle Albert With great power comes hot bitches. Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards. You did surgery on me? I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls! And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina! Don't forget about the bitches. Lance Landers Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit! I'll drive. Stephen Hawking That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day. Whatever! Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussies! You have an incredible ass! [before falling down after Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!... Dr. Whitby No, it's not your dead wife. Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em! Yes I know... [while fainting] Professor Xavier How do I know that baby's even mine?! SHIT! Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do! We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls! Mrs. Xavier Because he can do this! Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year! How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?! Human Torch Dude, you're on my gargoyle. What are you doing? Get a blanket or something! Holy shit! Get the fire extinguisher! Aah, stop you idiot! Dialogue Lance Landers: Ah, Rick Riker. How are your parents? Rick: They died violently nine years ago. Lance Landers: But, otherwise okay? Mental Hospital Patient: [on phone] No, you listen to me! This is the Empire City Times, not some two-bit rag. I want that story on my desk by the end of business tonight or you're fired! [Presses button for another line] Wilkins, I've got tomorrow's editorial: When you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they ever slept with! Does that make you gay? Yes, yes it does! [hangs up phone and turns to Rick] Who the hell are you?! Rick: Hi i'm Rick Riker, I was wondering if you had a job opening for-- Mental Hospital Patient: Job?! JOB!? How dare you come in here and ask me for a job! I've turned down millions of saps like you, and i'll turn down a million more. I'm the editor-in-chief! I can start fires with my mind. I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! Rosie O'Donnell is-[carried out of the office by two men] Editor-in-Chief: Sorry about this. We share the building with a mental hospital. Dr. Whitby: [about Aunt Lucille] She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels. Rick: That's terrible! Dr. Whitby: I know. I went ahead and set up a MySpace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick looks at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends. Professor Xavier: Hello, Rick. Rick: Who are you and how do you know my name? Professor Xavier: I'm a psychic. Rick: Prove it. Professor Xavier: Think of any number between one and a million and I'll tell you what it is. Rick: Nine. Professor Xavier: Not out loud, dumbass! Come with me, you dumb son-of-a-bitch. Chief Karlin: The lady was badly hurt. Interviewer: How was she hurt? Chief Karlin: Badly! Cast Drake Bell as Rick Riker/Dragonfly Sara Paxton as Jill Johnson Christopher McDonald as Lou Landers/Hourglass Leslie Nielsen as Uncle Albert Kevin Hart as Trey Marion Ross as Aunt Lucille Ryan Hansen as Lance Landers Robert Joy as Stephen Hawking Brent Spiner as Dr. Strom Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Whitby Tracy Morgan as Professor Xavier Regina Hall as Mrs. Xavier Pamela Anderson as the Invisible Girl Simon Rex as Human Torch Craig Bierko as Wolverine External links 0426592 Category:2008 films Category:Comedy films Category:Parody films Category:Superhero films Category:Teen films Category:American films