Hook (film)

thumb|right| I hate, I hate, I hate Peter Pan! thumb|right| "Prepare to die, Peter.""To die would be a great adventure.""Death is the only adventure you have left." Hook is a 1991 British adventure family film that continues the story of Peter Pan, who is now a mature aged corporate lawyer going by Peter Banning who returns with his wife Moira, son Jack and daughter Maggie back to London, England, and the orphanage where he was raised. While his there, his children are kidnapped and a note is left signed by "J. Hook, Captain". Wendy, the woman who raised Peter, tells him that the Peter Pan stories are true, and that he, Peter Banning is actually the boy who said he would never grow up. Peter must return to Neverland and find his forgotten childhood in order to save his family. Directed by Steven Spielberg. Written by J. M. Barrie (books/play), Nick Castle (screen story), Jim V. Hart (screen story/screenplay), and Malia Scotch Marmo (screenplay). What if Peter Pan grew up? Taglines Peter Banning/Peter Pan [To his son Jack, thwarting him banging on airplane window on on flight] What the hell's the matter with you? When are you gonna stop acting like a child? [While trying to swat Tinkerbell] Fire fly from hell! Big damn bug! [Trying to rationalize why he can see Tinkerbell] You're a... you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying? I don't know who my mother was. I'm an orphan and I've never taken drugs because I missed the sixties; I was an accountant. [To a pirate who admires his boots] I think you can get them at Armani. Hook, you let those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he's better than me. [After Rufio draws his sword] Okay, Mister. All right. Show's over. You put that thing away! Now put it down before you poke somebody's eye out! Oh, “Rufio?”, Why don't you go suck on a dead dog's nose! [To Jack, while fighting the pirates] Jack, you won't believe this: I found my happy thought. It took me three days, then guess what happened when I did? Up I went! You know what my happy thought was? [He flies towards Jack, smiling lovingly] It was you! It's Hook or me this time. [Unearthing his cell phone in snow before the statue of Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens park] Wow. [Opens it and holds it to his ear] Brad! Hi! ...you been holding this long? ...Uh, huh. ...Neverland. Lost Boys. Jim Hook, duel to the death, I'll tell you about it later. Listen, I'd love to chat... but I gotta climb a drain pipe right now. "Why?" Because I ran out of fairy dust, if not I would've flown up. [Hangs up] Pssh, "Why?" [Seeing Tinkerbell defeating the pirates] Are you related to Mighty Mouse? [Voiceover] Thank you for believing. Here comes Pan! Hook, no...! Moira Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack might not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast Peter. Just a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it. Captain James Hook Hello children. Comfy? Cozy? And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you. Revenge is Mine. He'll crow. He'll fight. He'll fly. And then... he'll die. Oh, I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body. And I hate living in Neverland. And I hate, I hate, I hate Peter Pan! [The pirates are playing baseball, and the catcher shoots the runner stealing second] No- no- no! Now stop it! We're playing this game by Master Jack's rules. Bad form! Sit down, now. Let's resume the game. [To the lady next to him] Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball? Are you ready for me, Peter? Come on. Humor the Hook! You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning - a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, is obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children. What would the world be like without Captain Hook? Fools, James Hook is Neverland! [Corners Peter and prepares to impale him with his hook] Whenever children read, it will say "Thus perished Peter Pan." [Last words] I want my mommy! Granny Wendy/Wendy Darling So, Peter... you've become a pirate. [Maggie says that Jack told her Wendy is not the "real" Wendy] Ahh. Well, do you see where Jack is? That is the same window and this is the same room where we made up bedtime stories telling about Peter, Neverland, and scary old Captain Hook. But did you know that Mr. Barrie... well, Sir James, our neighbor, he loved our stories so much that he wrote them all down in a book... oh dear me... eighty years ago. [Peter remembers the last time he came for Wendy] Peter, I can't come with you. I've forgotten how to fly. I'm old, Peter. Ever so much more than twenty. I grew up a long time ago. Mr. Smee Smee, Smee. What about Smee? Smee! Smee! Smee. Smee. What about Smee? Smee's me. What about me? [Ringing bell] If there's anybody not fighting, get here quick! [A man sweeping garbage in a London park looks suspiciously like Mr. Smee] [to Peter, who is laying down in the snow] Hallo! Having trouble with the missus? Well, you will have by the time you get home. Good morning, Neverland! Tie down the main mast, mateys, because here he is! The cunning kingfish! The bad barracuda! A man so deep, he's almost unfathomable. [Silence, as they fail to understand] A man so quick, he's even fast asleep! [LaughS] Thank you!! Now let's give him a big hand - 'cause he's only got one. I give you, the steel-handed stingray, Captain James Hook! It's time for Smee. [To Hook, who doesn't believe Peter's the real Peter Pan] He's Peter Pan alright, Captain... He's just been away from Neverland so long, his mind's been "Junk-tified." He's forgotten everything. [To Peter, who's climbing to rescue his children] Fly! I know it's you! Jack Banning [To Peter ordering him to stop being a child] But I am a child. Tootles [On all fours on the floor] Lost. Lost. [To Peter] I've lost my marbles. Have to fly, have to fight, have to crow, have to save Maggie, have to save Jack. Hook is back. Tinkerbell [In tears, after Peter fails to fly] It is true, then. You did grow up. I drank poison for you. You used to call me "Tink." Have you forgotten everything? [To Peter, who's climbing to rescue his children] Be the Pan you are. Fly. Fly. Think a happy thought. You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting. Pockets [Pressing on Peter's face to smooth the wrinkles and see if it's really him, and finally pulling the corners of his lips up to make him smile] Oh, there you are, Peter! Rufio Rufi-o-o-o-o! You are the Pan. Lost Boys [Repeatedly] Bangarang! Umpire That's the game. Airplane Captain [On P.A.] For now, please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. Dialogue [The movie begins with a school play of Peter Pan.] Wendy Actress: Boy, why are you crying? Peter Pan Actor: Because I couldn't get my shadow to stick. Besides, I wasn't crying. Drama Teacher: I shall sew it on for you, my little man. It may hurt a little. Wendy Actress: I shall sew it on for you, my little man. It may hurt a little. Peter Pan Actor: What's your name? Wendy Actress: Wendy Moira Angela Darling. What's yours? Peter Pan Actor: Peter Pan. Moira: [whispers to her husband] Watch your daughter. She's wonderful. Peter Banning: Yeah. Moria: [whispers to her husband] She's stealing the show. Wendy Actress: I think it's perfectly sweet of you. Drama Teacher: Louder. Wendy Actress: I think it's perfectly sweet of you. I shall give you a kiss if you like. Don't you know what a kiss is? Peter Pan Actor: I shall, once you give one to me. Now I shall give you a kiss. I don't ever wanna become a man. Yuck. I always wanna be a little boy and to have fun. Kids: [singing] We wanna be like Peter Pan. We don't wanna grow up. Peter Banning: [on phone] Brad. Yeah, I'm at my daughter's play. Kids: [singing] When it's time to be a man, we're not gonna show up. Peter Banning: [on phone] It's impossible. I'm on a plane to London tomorrow night with my family. A children's hospital is dedicating an entire wing to Granny Wendy. Brad.... Moira: [whispers] Peter, you're missing it. Peter Banning: [on phone] All right. I want a meeting, tomorrow a.m. Jack: [whispers] Dad, my game. You promised. Peter Banning: [on phone] Listen, it's my son's big game. Last game of the season. Santa Series. I gotta be there. I promised. So... We'll make it a short meeting. [whispers to Jack] I'll be there. My word is my bond. Kids: [singing] We never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever wanna grow up. Yuck! Umpire: Strike three! You're out. Moria: Bluejays, come on! Jack! Come on, Bluejays! Bluejays! Coach: Fire it up! Moira: Where is your father? He's missing it. Maggie: Daddy'll be here. He promised. Peter Banning: Jerry? Jack? Jim: Jim. Peter Banning: I said that. Take the camera. Go to the game ahead of me. Film what I miss. Secretary: Mr. Banning, this is the speech for your grandmother's tribute. Peter Banning: On cards? Secretary: Oh, yes, sir. Peter Banning: Number those. Who wrote it? Secretary: Ned Miller. Peter Banning: I loved his annual report. Read it. Secretary: "Honoured guests, for the past 70 years, the Granny Wendy we honour tonight has given hope and care and life to hundreds of orphans." Peter Banning: Great. Very personal. Maggie: Mommy, where's Daddy? Peter Banning: My briefcase. Brad: Banning. Peter Banning: Well... gotta fly. Secretary: Don't worry. More people crash in cars than plane. Secretary: It's a lot safer to fly than crossing the street. Secretary: Don't look down. Peter Banning: If it's your time to go, it's your time to go. Brad: And remember... All: Don't let your arms get tired! Peter Banning: What if it's the pilot's time to go? Coach: Come on, keep us alive, Banning! Keep us alive! Moria: Okay, come on! Jim: Hi, Mrs. Banning. I'm from the office. Which one's your son? Moria: He's up to bat! Jim: Thank you! Coach: Come on, Jack! Come on, pal! Bear down! Bear down! Come on, Jack! Don't look at me! Focus! Stay focused! Come on, Jack. One time, Jack. Come on, buddy! Line them up. Line them up. Moria: Please, not a curve ball. Please, not a curve ball. Little League Player: Mama wants a new pair of shoes. Drive me home, Jack! Umpire: That's the game! Peter Banning: Yeah? Yeah, Brad, that's real good. Plane Captain (Hook): Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, your Captain again. Please do not allow this minor turbulence to disturb you. For now, please sit back, relax. Enjoy the remainder of the flight. Thank you. Maggie: Look what Jack drew. Peter Banning: That's very nice, dear. What's that? Maggie: Fire. Peter Banning: Fire. Really? Is that our plane? Maggie: Yep. Peter Banning: Who are these people? Maggie: That's Jack, that's me, that's Mom and that's you. Peter Banning: Where's my parachute? I won't make it to my next birthday. Moira: You won't die without a phone. Peter Banning: I got the phone in the briefcase. Moria: Talk to him. Peter Banning: Why didn't I have a parachute, Jackie? Jack: Take a wild guess. Peter Banning: Jackie. Jack: Jack. Peter Banning: Will you stop? You can break a window. Jack: They're double-layered. You can't break them. Peter Banning: Give me that. Jack: You're afraid you'll get sucked out. Peter Banning: I'm not afraid of being sucked out. Jack: Yes, you are. You're afraid you'll be sucked out. Peter Banning: Just stop. Jack, next season, I'm coming to six games. I promise. Jack: Yeah, be sure to buy enough videotape. Peter Banning: Hey. Jack. My word is my bond. Jack: Yeah, junk bond! [he hits the ceiling door in the plane with his ball, and causes the oxygen masks to drop down and scare Peter half to death] Peter Banning: What's the matter with you? When are you gonna stop acting like a child? Jack: I am a child. Peter Banning: Grow up. Peter Banning: It's been a long time. Moria: Let's have fun, Peter. London's a magical place for children. It was for us. Peter Banning: Very expensive. Jack, don't do that. You could put someone's eye out. Moria: Maggie. Maggie. Peter, it's number 14. Peter Banning: Oh, 14. Sorry. Moria: What do you say to Granny Wendy? "How do you do?" Peter Banning: Jack, get down from there. You break your leg. Be careful. Maggie: Is Granny Wendy the real, real Wendy from my play? Moria: Yes. Sort of. Peter Banning: No, honey, not really. Jackie, don't be a sloucher. Take that gum out of your mouth. It's time to look our best. First impressions are the most important. Shoes tied. Shirt tucked. You know this. [arriving at Wendy's home, knocks on the door] Remember, you're in England, land of good manners. [the door opens, to old man behind the door] Uncle Tootles. Jack: [chuckles and starts choking and Peter pats his chest out of his gum] [a housekeeper happily screamed in high pitch, when Peter yells happily and Moira shrieks suprisingly with all the kids] Tootles: It's snowing! [slams the door closed on the Bannings] Liza: Look at these adorable children! Peter Banning: It's good to see you, Libby-- Linda-- Lisa-- Liza. I said that. Liza: Oh, Moira, how are you? You look wonderful! Oh, my God! Look at the size-- Look at you! Such a sweet thing! Granny Wendy will be right down. Moria: She's upstairs? Liza: Oh, yeah, good. Moria: Big boy. You could play rugby. Jack: No, baseball. Liza: Oh, look. Moria: Did you do this for us? Liza: Yes, been cooking all week. Moria: Thank you. Liza: You've been cooking? What've you been cooking? Mince pies? Snaps? Moria: Peter, look at this. Look at this. Peter Banning: Who's that? Moria: It's you. Peter Banning: Was I ever that young? Moria: Yes. Peter Banning: What's gotten into you? Moria: This house has gotten to me. Some of those things I was when I was young have never left me. Oh, thank God, Peter. We were children in these rooms. Tootles: [searching for something on the floor] Lost, lost, lost. Peter Banning: Lost what? Tootles: I've lost my marbles. Peter Banning: Okay… Lisa? Lisa. Liza: Liza. Peter Banning: Liza, I thought he was supposed to be in a home. Liza: It broke Wendy's heart, it did. After all, Tootles is Wendy's first orphan. Which is which? Peter Banning: Large bag's mine, uh, that’s one’s Moira’s and the smaller ones are the children's bags. Granny Wendy: Hello, boy. Peter Banning: Hello, Wendy. Moria: I told you, Gran, I'd get him here, by hook or by crook. Peter Banning: I'm sorry it's been so long between visits. I just- Granny Wendy: It's been 10 years between visits. But never mind. Come and give me a skwoodge. Oh, Moira, Moira, my Moira. Moira. Who is this lovely lady? It can't be Maggie. Maggie: Yes, it can. And know what, Great-Grandma? I just played you at school. Granny Wendy: And don't you just look the part. Can this giant be Jack? How much you've grown in a year. Jack: I'm supposed to tell you about congratulations for opening the orphan hospital and how great the dedication is. Yeah. Granny Wendy: Thank you so very much. Jack: You're welcome. Granny Wendy: Now, there is one rule I insist be obeyed while you are in my house: No growing up. Stop this very instant. And that includes you, Mr. Chairman-of-the-Board Banning. Peter Banning: Sorry, too late, Gran. Granny Wendy: And what's so terribly important about your terribly important business? Jack: Well, you see, when a big company's in trouble... Dad sails in, and if there's any resistance-- Peter Banning: He's exaggerating. I'm still into mergers and acquisitions. And I'm dabbling in some land development. Jack: Any resistance and he blows them out of the water. Granny Wendy: So.... Peter, you've become a pirate. [we see Peter walks up the stairs way as the cold winter wind cans be heard echoing through the house. He approaches the doors of the nursery, where the wind is heard loudest and opens them up.] [Enter. Nursey - Continuous] [Peter walks into the nursery, we see that the French windows are open with the currents blowing in the wind. Peter look around the room, almost seeming to remember something. He looks and stairs at the beautiful, colourful paintings on the walls.] [Paintings of Never Land!] [including the great Never Bird flying through the air, gorgeous Mermaids lounging around in Mermaid Lagoon, the Jolly Roger anchored near by and Tick-Tock the Crocodile following a rowboat being rowed by Mr. Smee -- with Captain James Hook at the front of the boat.] [Peter looks almost frightened by the image of Hook, as he shivers from the cold. He rushes over and closes the windows, keeping them shut with the window clasp which, ironically enough is in the shape of a hook.] Moria: [off-screen] Peter? Peter Banning: What? Moria: [off-screen] Brad's on the line. He says it's urgent! Granny Wendy: Peter, do you like my dress? Peter Banning: Great, Gran. Real nice. Thanks. Hey, Brad. Good news? What? What Sierra Club report? I thought we had these guys. Maggie: He's trying to suck my blood. He drools all over my neck. Peter Banning: What did they find? Moria: That's a portable phone-- Peter Banning: A Cozy Blue Owl? Well, listen. Casualties of evolution. Ask them if anybody misses the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Jack: I do! Boy, do I ever! Wow, you kidding? Peter Banning: Wait a minute. You telling me a 10-inch owl has a 50-mile mating radius? Why don't they just fornicate someplace else? You're telling-- A $5-billion deal is falling apart because of this? Why doesn't somebody just shoot me in the head? Jack: Bang! Bang! Peter Banning: Will everybody just shut up?! Jack: I'm sorry. Peter Banning: Leave me alone for one moment! Moira, get them out of here, will you?! I'm on the phone call of my life! Moira: Come on, Jack. Come on. Out, out, out. Granny Wendy: Come with me. I'll show you the window where your father and I used to stand and blow out the stars. Peter Banning: I never should've come here. I should've stayed till the deal was done. Moira: You haven't been here for 10 years. Granny asked you to visit. Peter Banning: I've been busy. Moira: You promised the children some real time here. You've looked at your cell more than them. Peter Banning: That's not true. Moira: How many more broken promises, Peter? [Peter's phone rings; Peter and Moira share a tense moment of silence] Peter Banning: It's Brad, Moira. I gotta take this call. I gotta fix this. Moira: No, you gotta fix your family first. [Peter prepares to answer his phone, but Moira grabs it and throws it out the window.] Brad: [on phone] Peter, hello? Peter, are you there? Peter Banning: What...? Moira: [after throwing Peter's phone out the window] I'm sorry about your deal. Peter Banning: You hated the deal. Moira: I hated the deal. But I'm sorry you feel so badly about it. Your children love you. They want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack may not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children... when they're the ones that want us around. After that you'll be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast, Peter. It's a few years, then it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it. Brad: [on phone] Peter, where are you? Peter. Peter. Peter. Granny Wendy: "All children, except one, grow up." Now, you know where fairies come from, don't you, Maggie? [reads with Maggie] "When the first baby laughed for the first time... the laugh broke into a thousand pieces... and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies." [She flips through a beautiful 1911 first edition of Peter and Wendy to show the original illustration of Wendy Darling sitting at the windowsill staring up into the starry night sky.] And look. [turns the page to show an illustration of her young self] I'm Wendy. Or was, a long time ago. Maggie: But Jack says you're not the really "real" Wendy. Granny Wendy: [Maggie says that Jack told her Wendy is not the "real" Wendy] Do you see where Jack is? Well, that's the same window and this is the same room where we made up bedtime stories about Peter and Never Land and scary old Captain Hook. And do you know, Mr. Barrie…well, Sir James, our neighbour, he loved our stories so much that he wrote them all down in a book. Oh, dear me, 80 years ago. Maggie: [upon meeting Wendy] You're really old. Granny Wendy: That's very true. Peter Banning: I'm sorry to break this up, but I have to steal Granny or she'll be late for the most important event of her life. Granny Wendy: Oh, dear. Maggie: Daddy, I made something for you. You're gonna love this. [holds up a parachute] It's a hug. Next time you fly, you won't have to be scared. Granny Wendy: She's made you a parachute. Peter Banning: That's very clever, dear. Jack? Jack, get away from there. What have I told you about playing near open windows? Keep this window closed. I told you this a hundred times. Do we have open windows at home? Jack: No. They've all got bars on them. Granny Wendy: Come on, into bed. Jack: Who took my baseball? Maggie: That mean, scary man at the window stole it. Peter Banning: There's no scary man. Maggie: But he says he's a window washer. Peter Banning: Come on, honey. Granny Wendy: What's this? Jack: A baseball glove. You can catch things with it...... take hot things out of the oven, or you can hit your sister with it. Maggie: Tootles made it for me. It smells nice. Peter Banning: It's paper, honey. Moria: Night. Peter Banning: Hey, Jack. Faker. Jack, you're in charge now. This is my very special watch, so you can keep track of the time. Maggie: Don't go out, Mom. Please. Peter Banning: Good night. Granny Wendy: Dear night-lights, protect my sleeping babes. Burn clear and steadfast tonight. Peter Banning: I read recently that they're now using lawyers instead of rats for experiments. They do this for two reasons: One, the scientists become less attached to the lawyers. And two, there are certain things that even rats won't do. I thank the board of trustees of the Ormond Street Hospital for having me here this evening and beg your forgiveness because normally I'm used to addressing shareholders. We don't know each other, and I doubt that we have very much in common... except this wonderful woman, Wendy Angela Darling. Granny Wendy brought me in from the cold. She taught me to read and write. She even found people to be my parents and adopt me. She's loved so many children... just so efforlete--efforse-- effortlessly. That's her achievement. Many of you here tonight were once lost children... but Granny Wendy found parents and homes for each of you... and saved you. That's her miracle. I know that if you could stand now you would express much better than I have your feelings of gratitude appreciation and warm feelings for this wonderful woman. I guess we do have something in common. We're orphans. [we see Tootles asleep on the couch, on the table next to him are John Darling’s top hat and rounded glasses and Micheal Darling’s teddy bear. He begins to bark with Nana in his sleep.] Tootles: Hook! Hook! Hook. Hook. Hook. Hook. Hook. Hook. Hook! Maggie: Jack. Moria: You all right? Wendy? Peter Banning: Thank you, Nigel. Norman? Neville: Neville, sir. Peter Banning: Neville. Is that English? [laughs] Merry Christmas. Moria: I was proud of you. Peter Banning: Oh, really? Granny Wendy: It was a beautiful speech. Moria: Nice seeing Neville. Peter Banning: Yes, it was. Hello? Moira: Liza? Tootles? Granny Wendy: My God. The children. Peter Banning: Maggie! Moria: Jack. Peter: Jack. Moria: Maggie! Jack! Answer me! Maggie! Liza: The wind came up. The door closed on me...... and the children were screaming. The children were screaming! Peter Banning: Jack. Maggie. The window. Moira: Jackie! Jackie! Granny Wendy: Peter. [Gran gently pushes the left door open. A NOTE! Stuck to the door with a strange dagger; calligraphy. Elegant signature from another age.] Peter Banning: [reading] "Dear Peter: Your presence is required at the request of your children. Kindest personal regards, J.A.S. Hook, Captain." Tootles: Have to fly. Have to fight. Have to crow. Have to save Maggie. Have to save Jack. Hooky's back. Peter Banning: Who? Moira: Gran. Inspector Good: [he looks at Hook's note] Well, the lab boys can analyze this little lot. So, Mr. and Mrs. Banning, we've wired the phones, and two of my lads will be outside at all times. It's possible that this whole thing is some kind of ridiculous prank. Peter Banning: My children are missing. Inspector Good: Yes, but the literary history of the family and everything suggests... Well, let's hope so. Tootles: I've forgotten how to fly. Inspector Good: Yeah, well, one does. Good night, ma'am. Good night, sir. Tootles: [as Inspector Good as his men left the house] No more happy thoughts. Lost. Lost. Lost. Peter Banning: Nothing we can do. The Police will do everything-- The police will do everything they can. Granny Wendy: The police can do nothing. Peter Banning: Oh, really? Maybe we should call the American police. Granny Wendy: In a crisis, we English always make a cup of tea. Moira, would you? Peter Banning: Tea? Moira: Yes, of course, Gran. Granny Wendy: Don't forget to warm the pot. Peter Banning: I'll go, Moira. Moria: Peter. You stay. Peter Banning: Don't worry, Gran Wendy, I wasn't gonna leave. Granny Wendy: Hand me my book, please. [Peter grabs a beautiful 1911 copy of Peter and Wendy from her nightstand and hands it to Gran.] Granny Wendy: It's time to tell you, at last. Peter Banning: Tell me what? Granny Wendy: How far back can you remember, Peter? Peter Banning: I remember the hospital on Great Ormond Street. You worked with orphans. You taught me to read, you arranged for the adoption by my American parents, Hank and Jane Banning. Granny Wendy: You were 12, nearly 13. I mean, before that. Peter Banning: There's nothing before that. Granny Wendy: Try, Peter. Do try. Peter Banning: Nothing. Granny Wendy: You know, when I was young...... no other girl held your favour the way I did. I half expected you to alight on the church...... and forbid my vows on my wedding day. I wore a pink satin sash. But you didn't come. Peter Banning: Grandma? Granny Wendy: Yes, I was an old lady when I wrapped you in blankets. A grandmother. With my 13-year-old granddaughter asleep in the bed. Moira. And when you saw her...... that was when you decided not to go back to Never Land. Peter Banning: Where? Granny Wendy: To Never, Never Land. Peter Banning: Moira! Gran, I'mma go get Moira. Granny Wendy: Do you know I've tried to tell you so many times-- Peter Banning: Maybe the tea's ready. Granny Wendy: I knew you'd forgotten. Peter Banning: Listen, I-I'm not ready to deal with this now. Granny Wendy: Now, I must! Peter! Peter Banning: What? Granny Wendy: The stories are true. I swear to you. I swear on everything I adore. And now he's come back to seek his revenge. The fight isn't over for Captain James Hook. He wants you back. He knows you'll follow Maggie and Jack to the ends of the earth and beyond. And, by Heaven, you must find a way. Only you can save your children. Somehow, you must go back. You must make yourself remember. Peter Banning: Remember what? Granny Wendy: Peter, don't you know who you are? [turns the page of a storybook to reveal an illustration of Peter as Peter Pan, as Peter is stunned/confused at the meaning] Yes, boy. Yes. [Enter. Nursey - Continuous] [Peter pours himself a double scotch.] Peter Banning: Sorry. Parachute. Firefly from Hell. Big damn bug! Tinker Bell: Oh, it is you! It is! A big you. It's not bad you're big. I guess it’s not that your big, you were always bigger than me. But now, maybe this means you'll be twice as much fun. Peter Banning: Moira! Tinker Bell: Oh, Peter. What fun we'll have again! What times! What great games! Peter Banning: You're a little.... Tinker Bell: Fairy. Peter Banning: A p…p…p… Tinker Bell: Pixie. And if less is more, there's no end to me, Peter Pan. Peter Banning: Peter Banning. Tinker Bell: Pan. Peter Banning: Banning. Tinker Bell: Pan. Peter Banning: Banning. Tinker Bell: Well, whoever you are, it's still you. Because only one person has that smell. Peter Banning: Smell? Tinker Bell: The smell of someone who's ridden the back wind, Peter. The smell of a hundred fun summers with sleeping in trees. Adventures with Indians and pirates. Oh, remember, Peter? The world was ours! We could do everything or nothing. All I had to be was anything ‘cause it was always us. Peter Banning: Oh, no. It's finally happened. I'm having a total nervous breakdown. Tinker Bell: Come on, Peter, follow me and all will be well. Peter Banning: Or I'm dying. I'm heading towards the white light. I've left my body. See? There's my house way down there. There are my feet. Oh, my God. Where are we going? Tinker Bell: To save your children. Peter Banning: How do you know about my kids? Tinker Bell: Everybody knows. Captain Hook's got them and you've gotta fight him! Let's fly! [Peter sneezes, in tears, after Peter fails to fly] It is true, then. You did grow up. I drank poison for you. You used to call me "Tink." Have you forgotten everything? Peter Banning: Are you in there, little bug? Tinker Bell: I'm not a bug. I'm a fairy. Peter Banning: I do not believe in fairies. Tinker Bell: Every time someone says, "I do not believe in fairies"... somewhere a fairy falls down dead. Peter Banning: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES! [Tinkerbell falls down the stairs of the dollhouse unconscious] Oh, my God, I think I killed it. Are you alive, little bug? Look out! [she slapped his finger, she wasn't dead] Tinker Bell: Clap your hands, Peter. It's the only way to save me. Peter Banning: Clap.... [he starts shivering and then starts clapping softly] Tinker Bell: Louder. [he claps loud then she shouts] Tinker Bell: Louder, Peter! [he starts clapping louder and starts shouting] Peter Banning: Okay, I'm clapping. I'm clapping! [and Tinkerbell starts getting up] Peter Banning: Oh, God, you're alive! Tinker Bell: All right. Now, who am I? Peter Banning: Uh, You're, um.... [lightly chuckles] You're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother. And I don't know why you have wings, but you have lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person. What am I saying? I don’t know who my mother was, I'm an orphan. And I've never taken drugs. Because I missed the '60s. I was an accountant. Tinker Bell: Guess again. [Tinkerbell pulls on the floor rug and makes Peter fall down, flat on his back, on a sheet on the floor] Peter Banning: Whoa! Oh, look, stars. Tinker Bell: That's right, Peter. Second star to the right and straight on till morning. [Tinkerbell flies off with Peter folded into a sheet] Tinker Bell: Never Land. Peter Banning: What a nightmare. Moira! Pirate: Roll out! Roll out! Hahahah! [coughs loudly] Pirate: Never Bird! Great for a farthing! Pirate Woman: Pies for sale! Pirate: Lovely fish! Fresh fish! We keep the eyes in so they'll see you through the week! Peter Banning: Excuse me. Is there a pay phone around here? That is so real. Tinker Bell: Peter, get back here. Get down! Get low! Hide! Toothless Cripple: Hello. If it ain't the Mother Inferior. Peter Banning: Gentlemen, I'm looking for someone. Toothless Cripple: I fancy them shiny shoes for my booties. Peter Banning: I think you can get them at Armani. Tink! Tink! Help! Help! Tinkerball. Tinkerbutt! Toothless Cripple: Don't get no blood on them boots! They's mine! Peter Banning: Help me! Tinkerbell! Pirate: You pixie devil! Peter Banning: Please don't! I have a bad back! Toothless Cripple: You pixie devil! Peter Banning: [seeing Tinkerbell defeating the pirates] Are you related to Mighty Mouse? Tinker Bell: If you insist on seeing Hook and desire to be alive, do exactly what I say, Peter. Your left arm is dead and hangs lifeless at your side. Lean on the crutch. Left foot turned in. Tilt your head and glare with your good eye! Now, crack your mouth and drool. Now growl. Peter Banning: Argh. Tinker Bell: Growl! Peter Banning: ARGH! Pirate: How are you? Peter Banning: Not bad, and you? Pirate: Not bad! Peter Banning: All right. Druscilla: Put your faces on, girls. Here comes Smee! Prostitute #1: Smee? Prostitute #2: Smee. Tinker Bell: Follow that Hook. Pirate: Make way for the Hook! Pirate: Me mother loves that Hook! Pirates: Show us the Hook! Give us the Hook! Show us the Hook! Give us the Hook! Show us the Hook! Smee: Good morning, Never Land! Pirate Crew: Good morning, Mr. Smee! Smee: Tie down the main mast, mateys. Because here he is! The cunning kingfish! The bad barracuda! A man so deep, he's almost unfathomable. A man so quick, he's even fast asleep! Pirates: [cheering] Smee: Thank you! Let's give him a very big hand. ‘Cause he's only got one. Pirates: [laughs] Smee: I give you the steel-handed stingray, Captain James Hook! Pirate Crew: Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Smee: See how greatly the men favour you, sir? Captain Hook: The puling spawn. How I despise them! Smee: Go get them, Captain! Captain Hook: Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails. Revenge is mine. Tickles (David Crosby): Long live the Hook! Captain Hook: I baited that Hook and now I'm very proud to announce we have his children. Peter Banning: My God! Jack and Maggie. Pirate Crew: Long live the Hook! Long live the Hook! Long live the Hook! Long live the Hook! Captain Hook: Finally, I'm going to kill Peter Pan, that cocky boy who cut off my hand and fed it to the Crocodile! Pirate Crew: [cheering] Captain Hook: And who killed that cunning Crocodile? Pirate Crew: Hook! Captain Hook: Who stuffed him? Pirate Crew: Hook! Captain Hook: Who made him into a quiet clock? Pirate Crew: Hook! Captain Hook: Who went to the other world and stole Pan's children? Pirate Crew: Hook! Captain Hook: And who didn't believe I could do it? Who doubted me? Who amongst us does not belong? Someone here does not belong. Stranger amongst the loyal, I'll weed you out. You! You! Yes. Where's the carpet, Smee? Smee: Sorry, sir. [Smee stamps his foot once and a red carpet appears on the stairs] Captain Hook: [pointing his hook hand at the pirate crew with each individually pointing at their chest in confusion stepping aside with Hook walking in between them] You! You! That's right, you! No, not you! Not you! You. You! [walks up to Gutless] You. You bet against me bringing Pan back here, didn't you? Gutless: No. Captain Hook: Aw, tell your captain the truth. [Gutless starts to sob] Aww, say it. Say it. Gutless: [cries] I did. Captain Hook: Yes, you made a boo-boo. Gutless: [nods, cries] I did. I did! Captain Hook: Mm-hmm. The Boo Box. Gutless: Not that! Not the Boo Box! Captain Hook: The Boo Box. Gutless: [gets manhandled and dragged to a chest putting up an hysterical struggle] NO...! Captain Hook: Good. [Gutless is then locked into the chest filled with scorpions dropped in] Bill Jukes: You cannot lie to the Captain! Noodler: Boo! Bill Jukes: Boo! Noodler: Boo! Bill Jukes: Boo! Jack: Put me down! Maggie: I want my mommy! I want my daddy! Captain Hook: Hello, children. Comfy? Cozy? Peter Banning: Those are my kids! [Peter blows his cover, taking off his disguise and hurries over to the net to his kids as Hook and his crew look on in confusion, wondering who this strange man is.] Those are my kids! Jack! Jack! Jack: Dad! Peter Banning: Everything's gonna be all-- [Two of Hook's crew grab Peter's arms and drag him way from his kids and towards their captain as Peter struggles to break free and fight back.] Bill Jukes: Get of the way. Peter Banning: It's all right. Daddy's here. [Hook scowls at Peter.] Mr. Hook, I want those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he’s better than me. Captain Hook: Who are you? Peter Banning: I'm Peter Banning, Attorney-at-Law. Those are my children, and I want them back please. Captain Hook: Those are your-? Peter Banning: Children. Captain Hook: These are your children? Peter Banning: Yes. Captain Hook: And you're...? Peter Banning: Peter. Captain Hook: You're Peter? Peter Banning: Yes. Captain Hook: You’re Peter? Peter Banning: Yes. Captain Hook: No! Peter Banning: Yes. Captain Hook: You're Peter? Peter Banning: Yes! Is there an echo in here? Yes! Captain Hook: My great and worthy opponent? Peter Banning: Yes. Captain Hook: No. Smee, who is this impostor? Smee: Peter flogging flying Pan! Peter Banning: No. I'm not Peter Pan. I am just an ordinary.... Smee: I've got a sworn affidavit by a T. Bell. I've got his medical history. I even got his dental records. Peter Banning: Excuse me. Smee: Are you trying to do me out of my job? What's a matter with you? Peter Banning: May I show you something? Will you let go of me just for one second? Captain Hook: Release him. Peter Banning: May I show you this? Captain Hook: Will you shut him up? Smee: Oh, flog off! Bill Jukes: Shut up! Smee: Captain, put these on. Captain Hook: I want to see the scar. Smee: I will show you the scar. Captain Hook: The hypertrophy. Smee: Here's the scar, where you sliced him during the Tiger Lily incident. Remember? Peter Banning: That's my appendix. Captain Hook: What's this? Smee: Fairy footprints, Captain. He's Peter Pan or I've got a dead man's dinghy. Captain Hook: Is it you? My great and worthy opponent? But it can't be. Not this pitiful, spineless, pasty, bloated...... codfish I see before me. You're not even a shadow of Peter Pan. Peter Banning: I think we have an obligation to clarify this Pan problem. Captain Hook: This disaster. Peter Banning: Which must be remedied. Captain Hook: Expediently, I agree. Peter Banning: I want my children. For me the stakes can be no higher. Captain Hook: And for me, sir, they can have sunk no lower. And I want my war! Pirate Crew: AYE! Jack: Blow him out of the water, Dad! Peter Banning: Daddy's handling this. It's okay. Captain Hook: Oh, come on, Peter. Pick up your weapon. Peter Banning: All right. [Pirates bring out their swords, thinking Peter was about to fight them. But instead, Peter brings out his chequebook.] How much? [Hook pulls out a small silver flintlock pistol, aims it on his hook and fires, shooting a hole through Peter’s chequebook…and one of his men, who falls down dead with a thud.] Captain Hook: Hoist em’, raise the kiddies! Jack: Dad, help! [Hook hangs Maggie and Jack from a net atop the mast] Captain Hook: I'll make you a deal, Mr. Chairman of the Board. Fly up there...... and touch the outstretched fingers of your frightened children, and I'll set them free. Peter Banning: I can't fly. Captain Hook: Come on, explode out of there! Stop this charade! Free your children! Jack: Dad, help! Maggie: Daddy! Peter Banning: Uh... [whispers in Hook's ear] Captain Hook: I beg your pardon? Peter Banning: [whispers again] Captain Hook: You must be joking. [to other pirates, who then burst out laughing] Peter Pan has a real problem with heights. Peter Banning: I'm not Peter Pan. Jack: Dad, help! Maggie: Daddy! Peter Banning: It's okay. Hang on, Son. I'm coming, sweetheart. [Climbing up a rope ladder] Somebody give me a hand. Captain Hook: I already have. Pirate Crew: Ooh. Maggie: Help us, Daddy, help us! Jack: Dad, come on! Maggie: Save us, Daddy! Tickles (David Crosby): "Save me, Daddy!" Captain Hook: We know who you are! What new game is this, Peter? Fly! Stop pretending! Pirate: Flap your arm and fly! Smee: Fly! I know it's you! Pirate: Maybe the Crocodile ‘ill getcha! Pirate: Oi, look at ‘im, T! Tinker Bell: [to Peter, who's climbing to rescue his children] Be the Pan you are. Fly. Fly. Think a happy thought. Maggie: All you have to do is touch our fingers and we'll be able to go home. Captain Hook: Touch them, Peter, and it's all been just a bad dream! Just reach out and touch them! Pirate: Flap your arm and fly! Jack: Reach. Maggie: Come on, Daddy. Mommy could do it. Captain Hook: Smee, I don't understand. Why doesn't he fly? Is it not Peter Pan? Smee: He's Peter Pan, all right, Captain. He's been away from Never Land so long, his mind's been gentrified. He's forgotten everything. Jack: Please don't give up. Dad. I want to go home. Captain Hook: Gentlemen, I'm afraid I have decided to cancel the war. Pirate: He can't fly, but he can swim! Captain Hook: Kill them. Kill them all. Jack: Dad! Pirate: Bring on the plank! [Noodler restrains Peter, as Bill Jukes grabs Peter’s bow tie and uses it to tie Peter’s hands behind his back.] Captain Hook: And I never want to hear the name Peter Pan again! Tinker Bell: What about the name Hook? Is that how you want to be remembered as a bully? Or as the great warrior who defeated a heroic Pan? [pause] One week and I'll get him in shape, and you can have your dirty old war! Smee: It's a trick, Captain! Let me blast that buzzing vixen to Pixie Hell! Captain Hook: Smee. Tinker Bell: You promised people the war of the century. Your whole life has been building to this. Mortal combat, glory. Hook versus Pan! Captain Hook: That is not Pan. Two days. Tinker Bell: Four. Bare minimum for a decent Pan. Captain Hook: Three. Final offer. Tinker Bell: Done. Captain Hook: And you'd better deliver, Miss Bell...... or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where I will send you. Pirate Crew: Ohh. Captain Hook: Hear me, men. I've decided that the so-called Pan will return in three days to commence the arbitrament of the sword. Smee, translate. Smee: In three days we’re gonna have a war. A battle between good and evil, to the death. Pirates: [cheering] Peter Banning: Aah! Tinker Bell: Peter! Noodler: Whoops. Peter Banning: Help me. Tinker Bell: Peter! Peter Banning: [grunts, screams, groans] Snow! What...? What? Help. HELP! Get me down! Help! Help! Tinker Bell: Oh, you're alive! Peter Banning: Oh, get me down! I believe! Tinker Bell: Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up! Pan's back! Lost Boys! Lost Boys! Wake up! Lost Boy: That was my pillow! Don't Ask: [stammers] I'm.. I'm.. I'm up. Tinker Bell: Wake up, you sleepyheads! No Nap: Pan’s back! Pan’s back! Pan! Lost Boys: Pan's back! Pan's back! Pan! Peter Banning: [groaning] Latchboy: Pan! Pan! Thud: Who's the shrub? Lost Boys: Bangerang! Pan? Don't Ask: That ain't Peter Pan. No Nap: He's old. Latchboy: He's fat! Thud: Not so fat to me. Too Small: He's an old, fat grandpa man. Lost Boys: Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! Peter Banning: Oh, That is so dangerous. [Rufio lands] That's enough! [after Rufio draws his sword] Okay, mister. All right. The show's over. Now you put that thing away! Now put it down before you poke somebody's eye out. [the Lost Boys all laugh] You're not old enough to shave. What are you doing with a sword? Kids flying around! This is an insurance nightmare! What's this? Some sort of Lord of the Flies preschool? Where are your parents? Who's in charge here? [the Lost Boys all point at Rufio.] Peter Banning: No. No, Mr. Skunkhead-with-too-much-mousse…you are just a punk kid. [facing a mob of the Lost Boys] I want to speak to a grown-up! Rufio: All grown-ups are pirates. Peter Banning: Excuse me? Rufio: We kill pirates. Peter Banning: I'm not a pirate. It so happens, I'm a lawyer. Rufio: Kill the lawyer! Lost Boys: [in unison] Kill the lawyer! Peter Banning: I'm not that kind of lawyer. [high pitch] I've been shot! [normal voice] Help! Help me, somebody! No- no! Please stop! Why are you doing this to me?! [falls in the flower garden] Tinker Bell: Rufio, you're the best with a sword. Please teach him. We gotta make him remember. Peter Banning: [A daffodil sniffs at Peter's face. Other sunflowers are now sniffing at Peter with more daffodils sniff at his crotch] Excuse me! [hits the daffodil, it sneezes] Help me! Lost Boys: Help me! Peter Banning: Not you. Lost Boys: Not you! [Peter Pan with arrow shot by rear end] Peter Banning: Helmet! Oh, my! A wall. Tinker Bell: Lost Boys, stop! Stop it! Lost Boy: Play! Don't Ask: Play. Rufio: You're dead, jolly man. Tinker Bell: He can't do those things. He can't even play simple games Hook has got his kids, and I've got three days.. three days to get him ready to fight. And I need everybody's help. Too Small: Peter Pan's gots kids? Rufio: He can't fly, fight or crow. So.. if any of you says this here scug ain't Peter Pan.. ..cross the line. Peter Banning: Hi. What? I'll be right back. What? Tinker Bell: You are embarrassing me. Pockets: Oh, there you are, Peter! No Nap: But, Peter....you've grown up. You promised never to grow old. Lost Boy: Peter.. Don't Ask: His nose got real big. Too Small: Well, welcome back to Never Land, Pan the Man. Rufio: Don't listen to that fairy and that brainless fungus. I got Pan's sword! I'm the Pan now! You think this guy's gonna take it from me? Rufio? Pockets: Wait! If Tink believes, maybe he is. Rufio: Are you gonna follow this drooler against Capitán Hook? Pockets: What's he doing here if he's not Peter Pan, huh? He don't look happy here. And who are them kids Hook's got? Give him a chance! Peter Banning: Those are my kids... .and Hook is gonna kill them unless we do something. Help me. Please. Tinker Bell: Yeah, come on! Give him a chance! [Meanwhile in Pirate Town, aboard the Jolly Roger] Captain Hook: Well, I should claw myself with my own hook, Smee. Not to kill Pan when I had the chance. What have I done? What have I done, Smee? Agreed to a preposterous plan, an absurd war. Now I'm bound by my indefatigable good form to wait. Smee: I'll fix you a nice plate. Captain Hook: Wait for what? Whether it be three days or decades, he will always be a fat, old Pan. I hate being disappointed, Smee. And I hate living in this flawed body! And I hate living in Never Land! And I hate, I hate....I hate Peter Pan! Smee? Smee? Smee, I've just had a sublime vision. All the jagged parts of my life... ..have come together to form a complete and mystical whole. An epiphany. Smee: A "piphy" what? Captain Hook: My life is over. Smee: Does that mean you've lost your appetite? Captain Hook: Yes. Goodbye. Smee: Hook. Where you going? Are you getting dramatic? Captain Hook: Goodbye, Smee. Smee: Captain, why don't we play with your island? All the little Indians and the soldiers and all the Lost Boys? Here we go. Captain Hook: [in a suicidal funk, he appears aiming his pistol at his temple] No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move, Smee. Not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee. Smee: Oh, not again. Captain Hook: This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee. Try to stop me. Captain Hook: Smee, you better get up off your a**. Get over here, Smee! Smee: I'm coming! I’m coming! I’m coming! Captain Hook: Stop me! This is not a joke! I'm committing suicide! [Wrestles for the gun with Smee. The gun goes off, setting a model ship on fire] Don't ever frighten me like that again. Smee: I’m sorry. Captain Hook: What are you, some kind of a sadist? Smee: I'm sorry, I’m sorry. How do you feel now? Captain Hook: I want to die. Smee: Oh, now, now. Captain Hook: There's no adventure here. Smee: You call this no adventure? Captain Hook: Death is the only great adventure I have left, Smee. Smee: Come on, come on, let's get you into bed. Captain Hook: It’s all over. I’m so tired, I want to go beddy-bye. Smee: Look, don't upset yourself, Captain. Your still you and I’m still me. There’s wars you haven’t even though of yet. Captain Hook: My career is over. This is supposed to be the war to end all wars. Smee: And it will be, Captain. Captain Hook: The ultimate war. There must be a way to get at him, Smee, to get even with him.. to get him where it really would hurt. There must be something I haven't thought of. Where is he vulnerable? Smee: No more of this talk about doing away with yourself. I mean, what would the world be like without Captain Hook? Captain Hook: Indeed. Good form, Smee. What would the world be like without Captain Hook? Smee: There you go. Captain Hook: I'm ready for my nightcap. Smee: Abso-flogging-lutely. I think a bit of skulduggery would do you good. Take your mind off this Pan business. First thing tomorrow morning, we'll shoot some Indians outta Long Tom. Captain Hook: I'm tired of killing Indians and Lost Boys. I’ve been killing them most of my life. I want to kill Peter Pan. I wanna kill him! Hear me? I want to kill him. Smee: Oh, dear. I've just had an apostrophe. Captain Hook: I think you mean an "epiphany." Smee: Lightning has just struck my brain. Captain Hook: Well, that must hurt. Smee: Pan's kids... Captain Hook: What about them? Smee: You could make them like you. Captain Hook: Say, what? Smee: No, no, no. We could make the little buggers love you. Captain Hook: No, Smee. No little children love me. Smee: Captain, that is the point. Captain Hook: What do you mean? Smee: That is the ultimate revenge. Captain Hook: What is? Smee: Pan's kids in love with Hook. Captain Hook: What are you getting on about? Smee: It's the ultimate payback, Captain. Captain Hook: What is? Smee: Imagine Pan's puss...when he faces you, and his kids…...standing beside you…...ready to fight for the sleaziest sleaze of the seven seas, Captain James Hook. Oh, Captain, it's beautiful. Captain Hook: Yes, I see. Smee: Don’t mind if I do, Captain. Thank you very much. Captain Hook: You know, Smee……I like it. I like it, I like it! Oh, Smee, what a superb idea I've just had! Tomorrow, I’ll make Pan's brats love me. Oh, Peter Pan will fly again. He'll remember how. And if he doesn't, those dirty Lost Boys will jog his memory. Oh, yes, you'll see. He'll crow, he'll fight, he'll fly...and then, he'll die. Ace: Pick 'em up. Lost Boys: Pick 'em up. Ace: Move 'em up. Lost Boys: Move 'em down. Ace: Pick 'em on up. Lost Boys: Pick 'en on up. Ace: Move 'em on down. Lost Boys: Move 'em on down. Ace: Ain't no time to celebrate. Lost Boys: Ain't no time to celebrate. Ace: You are old and overweight Lost Boys: You are old and overweight Don't Ask: Gotta lose a million pounds. Lost Boys: Gotta lose a million pounds. Get your fat butt off the ground. Ace: Reach on down and touch your toes. Lost Boys: Reach on down and touch your toes. Ace: How long since you looked at those? Lost Boys: How long since you looked at those? Don't Ask: Shape up. Lost Boys: Shape up. Don't Ask: Lose weight. Lost Boys: Lose weight. Don't Ask: Get thin. Lost Boys: Get thin. Don't Ask: Gotta win. Lost Boys: Jumping jacks are good for you. Don't Ask: Now your face is turning blue. Lost Boys: Now your face is turning blue. Ace: Swing your arms around your back. Lost Boys: Swing your arms around your back. Give yourself a heart attack. Ace: Gotta train. Lost Boys: Gotta train. Ace: In the rain. Lost Boys: In the rain. Don't Ask: In the sun. Lost Boys: In the sun. Don't Ask: In the snow. Lost Boys: In the snow. Ten below. Don't Ask: Gotta move. Lost Boys: Gotta move. Don't Ask: Gotta crow. Lost Boys: Gotta crow. Peter Banning: Go easy on me. I'm a beginner. Lost Boy: Low! High! High! Lost Boys: [cheering] Rufio: All right, gramps. Give it your best shot. Tinker Bell: Rufio's only trying to help, Peter. Listen. Learn. Peter Banning: Okay, you ready? I don't wanna hurt you. Latchboy: Watch your skin! You don't have armor on. Rufio: Be Bangerang, old man. Lost Boys: Be Bangerang! Peter Banning: What are you doing? How does this help me get my kids back? What do I have to do next? Thud: Next, time to fly. Lost Boys: Just think happy thoughts. Come on, Peter, think happy thoughts. Tinker Bell: All you need is one happy thought, Peter, just one happy thought and it'll make you fly. Peter Banning: I got it! Not being in this slingshot would make me very happy! Latchboy: He's going up! He’s going up! Thud: He's coming down! Captain Hook: Now pay attention, class. We have a lot to go over. Lesson One: Why parents hate their children. Anyone? Maggie: [whispering to Jack] Doesn't Mommy read to us every night? Captain Hook: You! The cute little urchin in the front row. Won't you share your thoughts with the whole class? Maggie: Yes! I said Mommy reads to us every night, because she loves us very much! Captain Hook: Loves you? [To Smee] Isn't that the, uh, the, um...? Smee: The 'L' word, Captain. Captain Hook: [grimly chuckles] Ooh, yes! No, child! I think your mother reads to you every night in order to stupefy you to sleep, so that she and Daddy can sit down for three measly minutes without you and you mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive and nagging demands! "He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want! Me, me, me, me! Mine, mine, mine, mine! Now, now, now!" [inhales deeply] Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up. Smee: And conk you out. Maggie: [to Jack] That's not true, Jack! [to Hook] You're a liar! Captain Hook: Lie? Me? [laughs] Never. [inhales deeply again] The truth is far too much fun. Oh, my child, before you were born, your parents would stay up all night together. just to see the sunrise. Don't be frightened. Maggie, before you were born, they were happier. They were free. Maggie: [whispers] You are a bad man. Captain Hook: Smee, flunk the maggot. Smee: Abso-flogging-lutely. [He writes an F on Maggie's paper.] Maggie: An F? An F? He gave me an F! Captain Hook: Jack. Your father went to your sister's school play, did he not? But did he go to your baseball game? Jack: How'd you know about that? Captain Hook: He missed the most important game on what might have been the most important day... of your young life. Maggie: I wanna tear your hook off! Captain Hook: Easy. Maggie: I hate, I hate you, Mr. Hook! Captain Hook: What did I tell you, Smee? No little children love me. Smee: Of course they do. Come on, you. [grabs Maggie] You're depressing the Captain. Captain Hook: Get that little squidling out of here. Maggie: Jack, you listen to me! Never Land makes you forget! Never forget... Mommy or Daddy! Think of a way to run home, Jack! Run home! Jack: Run home? Captain Hook: [to Jack] Jack. [puts his hook in front of his face; Jack's eyes widen a bit] You are home. [laughs] Right? [Meanwhile.] Peter Banning: [groans, sniffs] Oh, yeah. Latchboy: No, no, no. We don't use them. Peter Banning: Why do you have them? Latchboy: We have those so we don't have to use them. Thud: Don't crowd me! Latchboy: [annoyed] Thud! Rufio: [sits at the dinner table and clasps hands together for prayer] Everybody say grace. Peter Banning: Bless this, O Lord-- Lost Boys: Grace! Lost Boy: All of my favorite Never Foods! Yams, mamey apples and banana squash! Thud: Wash it down, calabash and papaw! Pockets: Can you blow on this? Thank you. Thud: This is good. Are you eating that? Peter Banning: No, please. Tinker Bell: Eat. Peter Banning: What's the deal? Where's the real food? Tinker Bell: If you can't imagine yourself being Peter Pan, you won't be Peter Pan, so eat up! Peter Banning: Eat what? There's nothing here. Gandhi ate more than this. Tinker Bell: Don't you remember? This used to be your favourite game. Peter Banning: Forget the games. I want real food. I want steak, I want eggs- I want a cup of coffee. Rufio: You can't, eat your heart out you prinkled, wrinkled fat sag! [He throws a metal plate and he and Peter start an insult fight] Peter Banning: You're a very ill-mannered young man, you know that? Rufio: You're a slug eating worm! Tinker Bell: Come on you can do better than that. Peter Banning: I can't believe you're encouraging this. Rufio: Yes, yes, yes show me your fastball dust brain, you punchy sag bottomed Puke Pot! Lost Boys: Bangerang, Rufio! Peter Banning: You are a very poor role model for these kids, do you know that? Lost Boys: [make whistling sounds and splat sounds] Peter Banning: I bet you don't even have a 4th Grade reading level. Rufio: Hemorrhoidal suck navel! Peter Banning: Oh, maybe a 5th Grade reading level. Lost Boys: [collectively makes whistling and splat sounds again] Rufio: Boil-dripping beef fart-sniffing bubble butt! Lost Boys: Bangerang, Rufio! Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca- ca mouth, do you know that? Rufio: You are a fart factory! Slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit, cheesy scab-picked pimple squeezing finger bandage! A week-old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side! Lost Boys: [disgustedly] EW...! Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher! Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back! Rufio: Mung tongue! Peter Banning: Math tutor. Rufio: Pinhead! Peter Banning: Prison barber. Rufio: Muddle lover! Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist. Rufio: In your face, camel cake! Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derriere! Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig! Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food, dude! Thud: Bangerang, Peter! [the rest of the Lost Boys cheer for Peter] Rufio: [losing confidence] You-- You man! You stupid, STUPID MA...AN! Peter Banning: Hey, Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just EAT ME?! You two-toned, zebra headed, slime-coated, pimple-farming, paramecium brain, munching-on-your-own-mucus, suffering from PETER PAN ENVY! Don't Ask: What's a paramecium brain? Peter Banning: I'll tell you what a paramecium is! [points at Rufio] THAT'S a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter WITH NO BRAIN THAT CAN'T FLY! [to Rufio] Don't mess with me, man! I'M A LAWYER!!! Lost Boys: Banning! Banning! Banning is a bangerang! Rufio: Rufio! Rufio! Peter Banning: Oh, Rufio. Why don't you just go suck on a dead dog's nose? Too Small: You're doing it. Peter Banning: Doing what? Pockets: Using your imagination, Peter. Thud: You're playing with us, Peter. Lost Boys: You're doing it, Peter. Pockets: Drink your papaw, Peter. How is it? Peter Banning: Bangerang. Thud: Peter, catch! Ace: Hey, Pockets... catch! Pockets: Oh, Don't Ask! Peter Banning: Bangerang! Tinker Bell: No! Ahh! [gets get by the food] Haha! Rufio: Hey, Pan the Man, catch this. Tinker Bell: Peter, look out! Lost Boy: Peter, watch out! Thud: Bangerang. Thud: Peter.…can I talk to you? Peter Banning: Sure, Thud. Thud Butt: I remember Tootles. Peter Banning: How could you remember Tootles? Thud Butt: He was a lost boy. These are his marbles. [hands Peter a bag] These are his happy thoughts. Peter Banning: [laughs] He really did lose his marbles, didn't he? Thud Butt: [laughs with Peter] Yeah, he lost them good. Peter, you know what? Peter Banning: What? Thud: My happy thought will help you. Peter Banning: What's your happy thought, Thud? Thud: Mine's my mother. Do you remember your mother, Peter? Peter Banning: Wish I could. Shh, listen. [Peter and Thud heard Maggie singing in a distance.] Maggie: [singing] When you're all alone. Far away from home. There's a gift the angel sent. When you're alone. Jack: My mom sang that song. Smee: My young Jack, tell me about the game of baseball. I can't remember. Are the mates standing or are they on horseback? Maggie: [singing] The stars are all my friends. Till the night-time ends. So I know. I'm not alone. When I'm here on my own. Isn't that a wonder. When you're alone. You're not alone. Not really alone. Pirate: [sighs] Too Small: Good night, Never Land! Captain Hook: What is it? I hear it. I hear it again. Smee, it's that crocodile back from the dead? Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock! Is that the clock? Smee: You killed that croc years ago, Captain. We smash every clock we find. Little elf didn't know any better. Captain Hook: To the museum, at once. Pirate: Shine them up! Put a fresh coat of varnish on your peg, right here! Pirate: Treasure maps! Authentic treasure maps! Trade ‘em here! Captain Hook: Come on, Jack. Are you ready? Come to see. Ahh! Broken clocks. Each one ticked its last tock, and now all is well. Just listen. Jack: I don't hear anything. Captain Hook: [laughs] I know! Good form! Exactly. Jack, you see this? Come over here. You can take it. This is Barbecue's very own bedside clock. He was quite an infamous pirate. You see, Jack, I smashed this clock immediately after I gutted him. Smee: And his ship made such a pretty bonfire on the waves. Captain Hook: Such a pretty, pretty……What is that I hear? A ticking. Smee, stop it! Stop the ticking! Stop that! Stop that "tick-tick"! Smee: There's no ticking here. There's nothing left to tick. Jack: Oh, my God. Captain Hock: This is for the ticking that might have been. Smee: Abso-flogging-lutely! Captain Hook: Get his father's watch! Smee: All right. Captain Hook: Go on. [in the Museum where all clocks are destroyed. Hook hands Jack a hammer to destroy his father's watch] You know you want to. Give it a try. Go on. Jack: This is for… never letting me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk! [He smashes the watch.] Smee: Yes! Captain Hook: Ha ha! Good form! Bravo! Smee: There you go! In’t that wonderful? Jack: This is for never letting me jump on my own bed. [smashes another clock] Captain Hook: Make time stand still, laddie. Jack: For always making promises and breaking them! [smashes another clock] Jack: For never doing anything with me. Captain Hook: For a father who's never there, Jack. Jack, for a father who didn't save you on the ship. Jack: [Sadly] Who wouldn't save us.... Captain Hook: Who couldn't save you, Jack. Jack: He wouldn't. He didn't even try. He was there, we were there, and he wouldn't try. Captain Hook: Jack, he will try. And the question will be: When the time comes, do you want to be saved? Now, don't you answer now. No, no, no, no. Now it's time to be whatever you want to be. Put behind you any thoughts of home...that place of broken promises. Jack: That what? Captain Hook: Have I ever made a promise, Jack.….. I have not kept? Have I, Son? Peter Banning: Come on. Let's go. I don't like this game. Latchboy: “Steal Hook's hook as fast as you can.” Pockets: “It'll make you proud.” Thud: “Then you crow like Pan.” Captain Hook: Confound it, Druscilla, glove me. The game is about to start. I need my bubbly. Give me my bubbly. Pirates: Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Lost boy: [whispers] Steal Hook's hook, then crow! Don't Ask: Yeah. Captain Hook: Jackie, boy! Jack! This is for all the games your daddy missed. Hook would never miss your game, Son. Too Small: You're almost there. Just take it. Pockets: What's he looking at? No Nap: Come on, you're this close. Don't Ask: What's the matter? It's right here. Latchboy: What's wrong? Thud: Grab it, come on. Grab it, Peter. Peter Banning: Come on, Jack. Smee: And one. and a-two.... And at toodle-loodle-loo! Pirate: Strike! Peter Banning: Wait for the good pitches. [pirate voice] Wait for the good pitches. Pirates: Jack! Jack! He's our man. If he can't do it, no one can! Pirate: He's stealing second! [Noodler pulls out a large flintlock pistol and shoots the player, who comically falls down dead. Smee, pats himself down to make sure he wasn’t shot.] Captain Hook: No, no, no! No, now stop it! We're playing this game according to Master Jack's rules! Bad form! it down now! Let's resume the game. [To the lady next to him] Very violent sport, isn't it, baseball? Peter Banning: Come on, Jack! [holding up a sign reading "Run Home Jack"] Pirates: Run home, Jack! Run home, Jack! Jack: "Run home, Jack." Captain Hook: Smee, no, no, no! They've got it backwards! Tell them to turn it around! Jack: Maggie? Smee: Switch! [the pirates fix the sign to read "Home Run Jack." They read it] Pirates: Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack! Home run, Jack! Peter Banning: Home run, Jack. Home run, Jack. He can't hit the curve. Smee: Jack! Jack: Yeah! Peter Banning: Ohh! Captain Hook: My Jack! Peter Banning: My Jack. Captain Hook: You did it! Hoist him up! That's my boy! You did it, Son! Prostitutes: Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Jack! Jack! Yay, Jack! Peter Banning: Gotta fly. Happy thought. Happy thought, happy thought, happy thought, happy.... One great, big happy thought! Less is more. Less is more. I can...! "Tootles. Wendy. John. Michael. Peter." Tinker Bell: Be careful, Peter. You're a lot taller than you used to be. Well, say something. Do you like my dress? Peter Banning: You look beautiful. What's the occasion? Tinker Bell: You are. It's a welcome-home party. Peter Banning: What happened here? Tinker Bell: Hook. Peter Banning: Hook. Tinker Bell: Burnt it when you didn't come back. Peter Banning: A Kiss. Wendy. This is Wendy's house. Tootles and Nibs built it for her. I remember. Wendy used to sit in that chair. Tinker Bell: Yes. Peter Banning: But it wasn't there. It was here. We used to sit here while she'd darn socks and tell us stories. She slept here. Tink, your apartment was right here. Tinker Bell: Yes. Peter Banning: Little Michael in his basket bed right here. John. [Peter rushes to the other side where he found a small teddy bear.] Peter Banning: Teddy. My Teddy. Mother used to put him in the pram to keep me company I remember my mother. I remember her. [flashbacks begin from his childhood. As a baby, he was listening to his mother discussing the future.] Peter's Mother: You can be sure, very fine schools indeed. First, he will attend Whitehall, then Oxford And of course.... after graduation, he will prepare for a judgeship in the highest court...making time for marriage and family and all of that. Just like his father. Tinker Bell: Isn't that what grownups want for their children? Peter Banning: I was afraid because I didn't want to grow up because everybody who grows up has to die someday. So I ran away. Tink... you came and you saved me. You brought me to Never Land. You taught me to fly. But I was still a little boy, and I missed my mother. So I decided to fly home to my very own window. But it was shut. They'd forgotten about me. I found other windows to visit, ones that weren't shut closed on me. That's how I met Wendy. I chased my shadow in her nursery. I expected my shadow and I would join together like drops of water. [Young Peter tries to get his shadow back, but he fails doing so.] Young Wendy: Boy. [Peter hears her and gets up] Why are you crying? Young Peter: What's your name? Young Wendy: Wendy Moira Angela Darling. What's yours? Peter Banning: I came back many times for Wendy, always in the spring. Young Wendy: Peter! Peter Banning: And Wendy kept getting older... and older. And then I came back the last time. Wendy: Peter, I can't come with you. I've forgotten how to fly. I'm old, Peter. Ever so much more than 20 I grew up a long time ago. Young Peter: No, no, no... you promised! Wendy: I have children of my own now. They have children of their own. That's my grandchild, Moira asleep in the bed. [Young Peter looked and notice his first love, Moira, in her bed.] Peter Banning: When I saw her lying there sleeping....at that moment something changed in me forever. Young Peter: I shall give her a kiss. Wendy: No. No, Peter. No buttons, no thimbles. I couldn't bear her heart to be broken when she finds she can't keep you. Young Peter: No. I mean a real kiss. [Tink from the outside watches but was sadden when Peter kisses Moira. The small thimble fell to the ground. we switch to the present] Tinker Bell: I can see why you have trouble finding a happy thought. So many sad memories, Peter. Peter Banning: Bye, Teddy. Not Teddy. Daddy! Daddy. [Cut to a memory of Jack's birth.] Moira: Peter, you're a daddy. Peter Banning: [memory] Hi, Jack. Peter Banning: [voiceover] I know why I came back I know why I grew up. I wanted to be a father. Peter Banning: [memory] I'm a daddy. [Cut back to present day, Peter finally got his happy thought.] Peter Banning: My happy thought. I got it. I got it! I found it! [laughs] I lost it. [screams] Tinker Bell: Just hold that happy thought, Peter! Thud: Peter Pan! No Nap: Pan. Pan! He's back! He's back! He's back! [the lost boys laughs] Peter Pan: Play! Play! Rufio: You are the Pan. You can fly, you can fight, and you can crow. [Peter crows] [the lost boys crows and cheering, Peter crows, Rufio crows, Peter continues crows] Peter Pan: Tink, you in there? Are you sad? Tinker Bell: No, I'm neither. Please go away. Peter Pan: Oh, you're sick. Maybe you need a Band-Aid. Or a thermometer! Thermometer make it all better. That's how Nibs made the Wendy lady better. Tinker Bell: Oh, no, Peter! It's not about that! Peter Pan: Yes, it is! Nibs put the thermometer in her mouth. Felt all better. Tink, don't we have the greatest adventures? Tinker Bell: Do you remember your next great adventure to save your kids? Peter Pan: Kids? Peter Pan's got kids? Tinker Bell: Why are you in Never Land? Peter Pan: Well, that's easy. To always be a little boy and have fun. I like this game. Ask me another one. Tinker Bell: Oh, dear me! I did it. Peter Pan: Tink, look what happened! You broke your house. You're humongous. Tinker Bell: This is the only wish I ever wished for myself. This is the biggest feeling I've ever, ever felt. And this is the first time I've been big enough to have it. Peter, I wanna give you a kiss. No, I mean a real kiss. I love you, Peter Pan. Peter Pan: I love...her. Tinker Bell: "Her" who? Peter Pan: Mo-- Moira! I love Moira….and Jack and Maggie. Jack and Maggie....I have a plan. Tink? Come on. You gotta come. Tinker Bell: When it's all over, you'll leave and never come back again. What are you staring at, Peter? Save them. Go save them. You silly a**, go. [Peter sneezes] Captain Hook: Jack, it's a very special time when a pirate receives his first earring. Such a very beautiful feeling. It's like the first time you run someone through with your blade. Pirate Crew: [cheering] Captain Hook: Now, Jack.. I'm gonna ask you to bend your head ever so slightly A little more. That's it. And brace yourself, lad, because this....is really going to hurt. Smee, what is that? Jack: Who is that, Captain? Captain Hook: It's Peter Pan. Has it been three days? 'Tis true, Peter...…time does fly. And so do you, I see. How did you ever manage to fit into those smashing tights again, Peter? Peter Pan: Hand over my son now and you and your men may go free. Captain Hook: Why don't you ask the lad yourself. Jack, someone to see you, Son. Peter Pan: Jack, give me your hand. We're going home. Jack: I am home. Captain Hook: [laughing] Good form. You see, Peter, he is my son He loves me dearly. And I'm prepared to fight dearly for him. I've waited long to shake your hand with this. Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom! Peter Pan': You dark and sinister man, have at thee. Captain Hook: Don't you love it, laddie? Once you've shed blood, it's hard to stop! It's a pirate's life, my lad! Peter Pan: Jack, Jack! Jack: Don't I know him? Captain Hook: No, you've never seen him before! Peter Pan: Jack, you won't believe this I found my happy thought. It took me three days, then guess what happened when I did? Up I went! You know what my happy thought was? It was you. Jack: That's my dad, but...he hates to fly. Peter Pan: Bangerang! Lost Boys: Bangerang! Captain Hook: Call out the village militia. We'll need every last man! Smee: [ringing bell] If there's anybody not fighting, get here quick! Peter: Form ranks! Captain Hook: Form ranks! Peter Pan: [to the lost boys] Get ready to show them the white light we're made of, boys! Captain Hook: [to the pirates] Remember the fires from Hell that forged you! Charge! Peter Pan: Now! Pirate: My eyes! My eyes! Pirate: I'm blind! Peter Pan: We'll show you who's chicken! Watch this! [clucking] Captain Hook: Smee! Do something intelligent! Smee: "Smee, Smee"! What about Smee? Smee, Smee, Smee, Smee! What about Smee? Smee’s me. What about me? Thud: Thud ball! Pockets: Fire! Thud: Gangway! Look out below! Don't Ask: Help! Somebody help! Latchboy: Here we go. Take it, take it, take it! Thud: Lost Boys, down! Pirate: My eyes! Smee: It's time for Smee. [Meanwhile, the other kids and Maggie tried to escape.] Pirate: Where do you think you're going? Get away from that window! Rufio: Hook! Captain Hook: Rufio. Peter Pan: No! The old man is mine. Maggie: Jack! Save me! Peter Pan: Maggie. Captain Hook: Rufio. Pirate: Get down here. Peter Pan: Maggie! Maggie! Maggie: Jack! Ja- Daddy! Pirate: Wait, ain't you-- Peter Pan: Peter Pan. [Pirate jumps out the window] Maggie: Daddy! Peter Pan: Maggie. Maggie: Daddy! Daddy? Peter Pan's my dad? Peter Pan: Maggie. Pirate: Get it off me! Peter Pan: I'll never lose you again. Pockets: Lost Boys, we got them on the run! Smee: Here comes Pan! Rufio: Lookie, lookie, I got Hooky. [he was quickly off guard with Hook stabbing his chest, causing Jack to go in shock.] Peter Pan: Hook! NO! [Rufio fell to the ground as Peter catches him. Rufio had lost a lot of blood.] Rufio: [dying] Do you know what I wish? Peter Pan: What? Rufio: I wish I had a dad... like you.[Rufio slowly dies. Jack realizes what he had become.]Jack: [ashamed] Oh, Dad, I'm sorry. Captain Hook: Are you ready for me, Peter? Come on. Humor the Hook. Jack: [ashamed] Dad. [he takes off his hat] I wanna go home. Captain Hook: What are you talking about? You are home. Peter. Where are you going?[Peter and Jack fly off the ship and toward the Lost Boys and Maggie. Peter embraces his kids and the Lost Boys cheer for him.]Lost Boys: Peter! Peter Pan: Lost Boys. Lost Boys: Victory Basquet! Victory Basquet![An enraged Hook storms over to the edge of his ship and yells to his mortal enemey.]Captain Hook: Peter! Where are you going? Come back here and fight me! Or I'll find you wherever you are! Bad form, Peter! Come back!![Peter ignores his immature attitude and walks away with his kids and the Lost Boys, holding Jack's hand and carrying Maggie who yells back at the evil pirate.]Maggie: [upset] You need a mother very, very badly![Smee, now full of treasure, tries to make his gateaway]Captain Hook: Smee! Follow me! Smee: Just moving your personal, sir. Captain Hook: Peter, I swear to you, wherever you go, wherever you are.... I vow there will always be daggers bearing notes signed "James Hook." They will be flung at the doors of your children's children's children. Do you hear me? Peter Pan: What do you want, old man? Captain Hook: Just you. Peter Pan: You've got me, James Hook. [flies back] Pan "The Avenger" is back. Captain Hook: And the Hook is waiting, Peter Pan.[Smee helps Hook take off his coat and fights Peter with sparks crackling from their swords, Peter backflips off the ship and Hook follows him in determation.]Peter Pan: Put up your swords, boys. It's Hook and me this time. Captain Hook: Prepare to die, Peter. Peter Pan: To die would be a great adventure. Captain Hook: Death is the only adventure you have left.[they fought roughly]Peter Pan: I remember you being a lot bigger. Captain Hook: To a 10-year-old, I'm huge.[the battle continues as the youngsters look on]Peter Pan: No pain, no gain, James! Lost Boys: Pan! Peter Pan: Good form, old man.[Hook brutally knocks Peter down and puts his hook on the grinding wheel to sharpen it. Hook grins with pure evilness and anger at the terrified Peter as he mocks him whilst ready to finish him off.]Captain Hook: You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. You'll wake up, you'll be Peter Banning... a selfish man who drinks too much... who's obsessed with success... and runs and hides from his wife and children.[Jack, Maggie, the Lost Boys and Tink encourage him]Too Small: I believe in you. No Nap: I believe in you. Pockets: I believe in you, Peter. Maggie: I believe in you. Jack: You are the Pan. You're Peter Pan. Tinker Bell: I believe in you... Peter Pan.[this gains Peter some courage and with mighty effort, he shoves Hook off with his feet, knocking him over and making him lose his sword. Hook was about to grab it when Peter stops him and picks it up for him. Peter offers Hook's sword back. Hook takes his sword but suddenly slices Peter's arm with his new sharpen hook. Peter yells in pain as his arm bleeds]Jack: Bad form![Jack was about to go against Hook when the Lost Boys hold him back]Latchboy: Jack, stop! Peter Pan: Now we end this.[Peter and Hook continue their swordmanship duel. This time, more wildly. Hook, out of rage, violently slashes out his forces at Peter who keeps dodging the strikes]Captain Hook: You blackguard![Peter blocks Hook's blow when the Lost Boys bring out numerous of alarm clocks. Hook screams as he remembers them from the crocodile years ago]Peter Pan: Hello! Tick-tock, tick-tock..... Hook's afraid of an old dead Croc! I think not! I think James Hook' afraid of time, ticking away![Peter had removed Hook's hat which landed on Too Small.]Captain Hook: Good form, Peter. I am fallen. Give me my dignity. You took my hand. You owe me something. Peter Pan: You killed Rufio. You kidnapped my children. You deserve to die. Captain Hook: Strike, Peter Pan. Strike true. Maggie: Daddy, let's go home. Please? He's just a mean old man without a mommy. Jack: Yeah, Dad, let's go. He can't hurt us anymore. Captain Hook: Bless you, child. Good form, Jack. After all, what would the world be like without… [puts his wig back on] Captain Hook? Peter Pan: I want you to take your ship and go. I never want to see your face in Never Land again.[Peter puts his sword away and heads off with his kids. Unfortunately, Hook hasn't redeem himself]Lost Boys: Peter, look out![Peter turns around and sees in horror as Hook lashes out]Captain Hook: Fools! James Hook is Never Land! [corners Peter and prepares to impale him with his hook] Whenever children read, it will say: "Thus perished Peter Pan." [Hook raises his hook up high, making his last attempt to kill Peter as he smiles evilly, believing he's finally gonna succeed in killing him. But Tinkerbell stops him. Seeing his chance, Peter pushes the sword away and grabs Hook's arm and jabs the hook into the stuffed crocodile's gut. Out came ghastly, unusual clouds of onimous mist as the croc tower began to shake and rumble.] What's happening? What is happening?[The clock went loose from the crocodile's jaws and lands on the ground as Hook breaks free and trips over the clock, falling over. Peter, Jack, Maggie and the Lost Boys all look up in surprise as the sticks of the tower fall apart, releasing the croc which is starting to move. Then they hear the croc growling with anger as he looks down at his prize. Hook looks up in horror when he finds out that the crocodile has come back to life only to be more terrifying then he was before. With a roar, the crocodile breaks free from his spot and topples over to the terrified pirate to finish him off as revenge for killing him off first.]Captain Hook: [last words, scared] I want my Mommy![Hook tries to escape but the croc manages to reach him and devours him up. Everyone staggers back in shock as Hook disapears and hearing the croc's burp, glad that he's finally won his prize.]Too Small: Hook's gone. Lost Boys: Hook’s gone. Hook’s gone. Hook’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.[everyone checks the crocodile and discover Hook really is gone]Peter Pan: Bangerang! Lost Boys: Bangerang! Peter Pan and Lost Boys: No more Hook! No more Hook! No more Hook![everyone celebrated as Jack and Maggie watch]Peter Pan: Horray for Pan the Man! Too Small: What's wrong, Peter? Peter Pan: I can't stay and play. I've done what I came to do and now I have to go back. Lost Boy: No, Peter. Please. Peter Pan: Tink, make my kids glow. Jack, Maggie, all you have to do is think one happy thought... and you'll fly like me. Maggie: Mommy! Jack: My dad.... Peter Pan. Peter Pan: Tink, you know the way. I'll be just behind you. Thud: Don't leave us, Peter, and don't say goodbye. Too Small: What's "goodbye"? Latchboy: It's going away. That's what it is. Forgetting about us all over again. Peter Pan: You're all my Lost Boys. I'll never forget you. Never. So who do I leave in charge? [Peter takes out his sword and tries to figure out who will be the new Pan, he chooses Thud Butt] I want you to take care of everyone who's smaller than you. Thud: Okay. Too Small: Then who do I look after? Peter Pan: Never Bugs. Little ones.[Peter backs away and flies off as the Lost Boys watch him as they all smileToo Small: That was a great game. Peter Pan: Thank you for believing. Jack: I know her. Maggie: She looks like an angel. Let's not wake her yet. Jack: Okay. Granny Wendy: My dear child, have you been up all night? Moira: I see them in their bed so often in my dreams. When I wake up, they're still there. Maggie: Mommy! Jack: Mom! Peter Banning: Tink? Tink? Tink? Sweeper (Smee): Hello. Having trouble with the missus? You will have, by the time you get home. Peter Banning: [sees Tinkerbell on the Peter Pan statue] Tink. Tinker Bell: Say it, Peter. Say it and mean it. Peter Banning: I believe in fairies. Tinker Bell: Do you know that place between sleep and awake……where you still remember dreaming? [Peter nods] That's where I'll always love you……Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting. Peter Banning: Ouch. Nana! Oh, give us a kiss! Come here, you drool machine! Maggie, Moira, Jack! Tink? Wow! Brad! Hi! Have you been holding this long? Uh-huh. I'm incredible! Yeah. Never Land. Uh-huh. Lost Boys. Jim Hook. Duel to the death. I'll fill you in later. Listen, I'd love to chat.... but I'm gonna climb a drainpipe now. Why? Because I ran out of fairy dust. If not, I would've flown up. "Why?" Jack: There were pirates--!- Maggie: And monsters there. Just like you said! Peter Banning: Maggie, Moira, Jack. Granny Wendy. Let me in. Please. Jack: Excuse me, do you have an appointment? Peter Banning: What did I tell you about this window? Always keep it open! Never, ever, ever close. [his phone rings] I have to take this. [answers it] Have you ever known what it's like to feel the exhilaration of really flying? Feel this.[he throws the phone out the window.]Moira: Where have you been? Maggie: Fly me, Daddy. Fly me! Peter Banning: Anytime, Maggie. To infinity and back again. Tootles: Hello, Peter. I missed the adventure again, didn't I? Peter Banning: I think these belong to you.[Peter takes the bag of marbles from around his neck and hands them to Tootles. He pours the contents out into his hand, his marbles! Tootles’s looks shocked at first, before a smile appears and his face becomes overwhelmed with a look of utter joy.]Tootles: Look! See, look! I didn't lose my marbles after all! Wendy, look! See? I didn't lose my marbles after all! Granny Wendy: Hello, boy. Peter Banning: Hello, Wendy lady. Give us a skwoodge. Granny Wendy: Boy, why are you crying? Peter Banning: I don't know. A tear for every happy thought. Granny Wendy: One for me? Jack: One for me? Maggie: One for me? Tootles: And one for me! [laughs][all laughing]Liza: [screams]Tootles: Seize the day![last lines]Granny Wendy: So your adventures are over. Peter Banning: Oh, no. To live.... To live would be an awfully big adventure.[The End] Taglines What if Peter Pan grew up? Peter Pan just got BIG!'' Lawyer, Father, Legend Cast Dustin Hoffman as Captain James Hook Robin Williams as Peter Banning/Peter Pan Ryan Francis as teenaged Peter Max Hoffman as prepubescent Peter Matthew Van Ginkel as infant Peter Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell Bob Hoskins as Smee/Garbage Sweeper Maggie Smith as Granny Wendy Moira Angela Darling Caroline Goodall as Moira Banning Charlie Korsmo as Jack Banning Amber Scott as Maggie Darling Dante Basco as Rufio Arthur Malet as Tootles Raushan Hammond as Thud Butt Isaiah Robinson as Pockets Laurel Cronin as Liza (housekeeper) Glenn Close as Gutless (cameo) Phil Collins as Police Detective (cameo) Carrie Fisher and George Lucas as Couple kissing in distance when Tinkerbell takes Peter to Neverland External links Hook (film) 0102057 Hook Category:1991 films Category:1991 American films Category:1990s American films Category:Adventure films Category:Fantasy films Category:Films directed by Steven Spielberg Category:Peter Pan films Category:Films about abduction Category:Films about dysfunctional families Category:Films set on airplanes