Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths is a 2012 satirical crime comedy-drama film about Marty, an alcoholic writer in Los Angeles stuck on his new screenplay, and best friend Billy, a struggling actor who makes a living kidnapping dogs and collecting rewards for their safe return. Written and directed by Martin McDonagh. They Won't Take Any Shih Tzu. Marty Faranan thumb|Dream sequences are for fags. This guy just telephoned a psycho-killer to come down and psycho-kill us. Billy Bickle thumb|This dog is my Patty Hearst. It's a kidnapped dog. You don't just give back a kidnapped dog. Defeats the entire object of the kidnapping. They didn't just give Patty Hearst back, did they? No, this dog is my Patty Hearst. Except I ain't gonna keep it in a closet and make it rob a bank. No, I'm gonna hold on to it until your asshole boyfriend starts behaving like a decent human being and gives me a bunch of money. He's a proper Christian. You know, proper old-time Christian. Not like these Fox News fucks. You can't let the animals die in a movie... only the women. You know your writing helps alleviate your suicidal self-loathing and shit. Peace is for queers. Hans Kieslowski Have some pride in yourself, have some faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord, and don't tell these scum-sucking motherfuckers nothing. I know you said "dream sequences are for fags", but I think it could work, don't you? We all gotta dream, don't we? Not just fags. Oh, by the way, I don't think they like being called "fags" anymore. I think nowadays they prefer "homos." Zachariah Rigby When you use my story in your movie, I'd like you to put a little message up there at the end. I want you to tell her that I miss her. And I love her. And I should have helped her kill that hippie. Dialogue Tommy: In Cuba, the torturers used to have a device – two thin metal spikes, placed here – that they adjusted, and slowly, millimeter by millimeter, pricked into the eyeballs. Larry: You're kidding me? Those Communist motherfuckers. Tommy: Well, no, Larry. These are the ones those Communist motherfuckers kicked out. The Hooker: What's that you talkin', baby? Chinese? Vietnamese Priest: Vietnamese. Vietnamese. The Hooker: Oh, Vietnamese. Yeah, didn't we have like a big war with you guys one time? Vietnamese Priest: Yes. It isn't over. [Marty tells Vietnamese psychopath story] Billy: That's a great fuckin' psychopath, Marty! Marty: [sighs] Yeah... But it's not what I wanna really be writin' about anymore. Billy: [pauses] Hey, new idea. How 'bout we change the title from "The Seven Psychopaths" to "The Seven Lesbians Who Are All Disabled and Have Overcome All Their Spazzy Shit and Are Really Nice to Everybody and Two of Them Are Black". How 'bout that? Myra: Do you ever worry we was wrong all those years, and there ain't no heaven and there ain't no nothing? Hans: Of course I worry, but God loves us. I know He does. He's just got a funny way of showing it sometimes. Myra: Sometimes I think God's gone crazy sometimes. Stuff He does, stuff He don't do. Hans: Well, He's had a lot to contend with in His time, too, you know. Bastards killed His kid, too. Billy: You're fucked from birth. Spanish got bullfighting. The French got cheese. And the Irish have got alcoholism. Marty: And what have the Americans got? Billy: Tolerance. Marty: You don't drink, Hans, no? Hans: I take peyote, sometimes. Marty: I think we should go to the cops. Hans: Fuck the cops! Fuck them! Marty: Sorry for hitting you in the face so hard. Billy: That's all right. It was a pretty good punch, for a pacifist. Hans: "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." I believe that wholeheartedly. Billy: No, it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy gonna take out the eye of the last guy left who's still got one eye? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Gandhi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come right out and say it. Charlie: Should've brought that gun along, buddy. Marty: I don't believe in them. Charlie: In guns? You don't believe in guns? They ain't fucking leprechauns, you dumb Mick. Hans: We can't leave him. Marty: You ain't gonna fight. Hans: Of course I ain't gonna fight, but I ain't gonna run. Marty: What are you gonna do, then? Hans: I guess I'm gonna die. Marty: Friends don't make their friends die, Hans. Hans: Psychopathic friends do. You're the one who thought psychopaths were so interesting. They get kind of tiresome after a while, don't you think? Hans: My wife is sitting on a chair someplace. Some gray place. I thought she'd be in Heaven, but she's sitting on a chair with a bullet in her head. I thought they'd have cleaned that kind of stuff up. Marty: Maybe you've just eaten too many hallucinogenic cactuses tonight, Hans. Hans: Nothing to do with the hallucinogens. Marty: But you've just seen Myra on a chair with a bullet through her head. Hans: In some gray place. Marty: England? Hans: It seemed a lot worse than that. Paulo: Put your hands up! Hans: No. Paulo: What? Hans: I said no. Paulo: Why not? Hans: Because I don't want to. Paulo: But I've got a gun. Hans: I don't care. Paulo: It doesn't make any sense. Hans: Too bad! Cast Colin Farrell - Marty Faranan Sam Rockwell - Billy Bickle Woody Harrelson - Charlie Costello Christopher Walken - Hans Kieslowski / The Quaker Harry Dean Stanton - The Imagined Quaker Tom Waits - Zachariah Rigby Brendan Sexton III - Young Zachariah Rigby Abbie Cornish - Kaya Olga Kurylenko - Angela Željko Ivanek - Paulo Linda Bright Clay - Myra Kieslowski Amanda Warren - Maggie Rigby Long Nguyen - the Vietnamese Priest / Thích Quảng Đức James Hébert - Killer Christine Marzano - The Hooker Kevin Corrigan - Dennis Gabourey Sidibe - Sharice Michael Pitt - Larry Michael Stuhlbarg - Tommy Helena Mattsson - Blonde Lady External links 1931533 Seven Psychopaths Category:2012 American films Category:2012 British films Category:Criminal comedy films Category:American satirical films Category:American comedy-drama films Category:Black comedy films Category:British satirical films Category:Films about alcoholism Category:Films about dogs Category:Films about psychoactive drugs Category:Films about screenwriters Category:Films set in Los Angeles Category:Metafictional works Category:2012 English-language films Category:Films directed by Martin McDonagh