Evolution (film)

alt=smiley face with three eyes|thumb|The film was advertised using a three-eyed smiling face icon Evolution is a 2001 film about a fire fighting cadet, two college professors, and a geeky-but-sexy government scientist who are working against an alien organism that has been rapidly evolving ever since its arrival on Earth inside a meteor. Directed by Ivan Reitman. Written by David Diamond, David Weissman and Don Jakoby. Ira Kane Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same old, boring magazine everyday. The end". And although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be, I still could not bring myself to put an "A" on top of those beauties. I hope you understand, guys. Let's shampoo us some aliens!! Harry Block [during the second expedition to the meteorite cavern, to Ira about Dr. Reed] All she needs is a good humping. [mocks Reed while "demonstrating" sex] Oh Ira! I-i-i-i-ra...OOOH IRA! Dialogue Harry Block: Keep your chin up. You know she wanted to give you some, didn't you? Ira Kane: Were you even in that courtroom? Block: Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby. Kane: [upon discovering that their lab's been ransacked] Oh, we've been hit! Block: Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed! [Ira and Harry see a unique organism.] Ira Kane: Hey, cool. Snag one. Harry Block: Snag one? Kane: Yeah, snag one and put it in the bucket. Block: I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag it. [An alien fly is inside Harry Block and the surgeons debate on how to remove it] Dr. Allison Reed: What do we do? Dr. Paulson: We might have to amputate. Nurse Tate: Saw. Harry Block: Whoa, Doc, don't take my leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg. Ira Kane: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete. Nurse Tate: Wait, doctor, look. Paulson: Ooh. [looks in bug inside, crawling] It's headed for his testicles. Block: Take it, take it! Take the leg!! Reed: Wait, wait, wait! Block: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Reed: It's going the other way. Paulson: Alright, give me some forceps. I might be able to catch it in his colon. Reed: How are you going in? Paulson: Rectally. Harry: [squealing] NOOOO! Tate: I'll get the lubricant. Paulson: There's no time for lubricant. Harry: THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!! [Harry, Wayne, and Irah hunt for an alien dragon-like creature in a shopping mall. Wayne has an idea to tries to get its attention by saying "caw-caw" and "tookie tookie" repeatedly on a live mic] Harry Block: Wayne! I think we've established that "Ca-caw, ca-caw" and "Tookie, tookie" don't work. Wayne Grey: Right. Sorry. [starts singing into the mike] You are so beautiful to me. Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him. Block: Uh-uh, stand down. I'm taking this one out myself. Grey: You are so beautiful to me. Block: [slightly mutters] Wayne, would you please stop? You're embarrassing me. Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College. Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey. Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. Did some chemistry in high school. [before the team attacks the alien organism] Dr. Allison Reed: There's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I don't know exactly how. Ira Kane: Well, we're all adults here, and we're all about to die a very horrible death anyway, so? Reed: I would've rocked your world. Kane: You already have. Taglines Have a nice end of the world. Coming to wipe that silly smile off your planet. Cast David Duchovny - Dr. Ira Kane Julianne Moore - Dr. Allison Reed, CDC Orlando Jones - Prof. Harry Phineas Block Seann William Scott - Wayne Grey Ted Levine - General Russell Woodman Dan Aykroyd - Governor Lewis External links 0251075 Evolution 1108206-evolution Evolution category:2001 films category:2000s American films category:comedy films Category:Films about extraterrestrial life category:films directed by Ivan Reitman category:films set in Arizona category:science fiction films Category:Films about evolution Category:Films about alien invasions