Boy Meets World (season 5)

Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Main Boy Meets World (1993–2000) was a television sitcom in which Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) experiences all the twists and turns of life along with his teacher, Mr. Feeny (William Daniels); his brother, Eric (Will Friedle); his best friend, Shawn (Rider Strong); and his girlfriend, Topanga (Danielle Fishel). Brothers [5.1] Cory: [referring to candles] Oh, those are for Topanga. Those set the mood. Shawn: Kinda looks like a church in here. Cory: You're ruining the mood! Topanga: You have a picture of your brother in your wallet? Cory: Yeah, why? Topanga: Oh, nothing. I just think it's sweet. I'm in there too, right? Cory: You will be. Boy Meets Real World [5.2] Feeny: An excellent start on your documentary, Mr. Matthews. Cory: What? Feeny: Yes, excellent. I said excellent, and I was talking about something you did. I don't know what came over me. Shawn: You have five minutes of me in the shower. You can't use that! Cory: It's for the European version. If I don't get into NYU, my next choice is Sweden YU. It's Not You... It's Me [5.3] Shawn: Look, Mr. Feeny. Let's not waste anyone's time. Cory and I, we broke up. Cory: It should've happened sooner! Shawn: But we stayed together for the kids... [Feeny looks puzzled] Cory: ...in the class. Feeny: [holding an open book] And that, Mr. Hunter, is how babies are made. Shawn: I still don't believe him. Eric: You don't get it. We're in college now. We're being judged on a whole new level. Theories and footnotes, shades of meaning, nuance, spelling, where does it end? WHERE DOES IT END? Fraternity Row [5.4] [Jack gets off the elevator in a red dress, high heels and a matching kerchief] Jack: I don't want to talk about it, okay? Eric: Yeah, well, I do! You took that out of my closet! Professor Michaels: Free will. Wanna take a shot? Shawn: Do I really have a choice? Professor Michaels: Ooh, gotta take five. The Witches of Pennbrook [5.5] Jack: I'm just uncomfortable picking up girls. Eric: Watch and learn. [gets very close to Jack's face with a weird smile] Jack: What are you doing? Eric: I'm loving you with my eyes. Jack: Please don't. Shawn: Hey, Rosemary. How's the baby? No Guts, No Cory [5.6] [Eric has been told that he cannot enlist due to flat feet.] Eric: Everybody's doing their part in this war. I want to help. I'm going back to that recruitment office and tell them that a little case of flat feet isn't gonna stop Eric Matthews from fighting those evil Canadians. Alan: I have a feeling it's not the flat feet. Shawn: Cory, we're going down to enlist. Uncle Sam wants us. I wasn't gonna go, but he was pointing right at me. I Love You, Donna Karan - Part I [5.7] Shawn: It's like you and Topanga, a perfect fit. Cory: Yeah, but I didn't fall in love with her luggage. Cory: Mr. Feeny, we found this purse. Who runs the Lost and Found? Feeny: [pause] I do, Mr. Matthews. I teach English, history and film, and I run the Lost and Found. Shawn: We'll put up a notice. Chasing Angela - Part II [5.8] Cory: [referring to Shawn's little black book] This will never make you happy! [glancing at the book] Ahh! My aunt! Eric: [tasting Jack's pumpkin pie] Is pumpkin pie supposed to have bones? How to Succeed in Business [5.9] Eric: Sorry buddy, this seat's saved for [sigh] Monica. Jack: What happened to [sigh] Bridgette? Eric: She found out about [sigh] Monica. Eric: [reading Amy's new paper] "An Evening in Cape Cod." Now this is more like it. "As Alan touched me, my lips began to quiver..." Don't you do anything but quiver? [skims ahead] Oh my God, you do! Last Tango in Philly [5.10] Shawn: Cor, let's try to figure this thing out. The girls want to dance more than anything in the world and we want to make them happy. Cory: Okay, there's gotta be a simple solution to all of this. [They both think hard for a minute.] Shawn: Anything? Cory: Nothing. Feeny: Now, why didn't I see that? Eric: Well, Mr. Feeny, I'm in college. You're still in high school. Eric: From the beginning of time, men have been idiots. A Very Topanga Christmas [5.11] Cory: This year, no running around the house naked singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas." I'm looking at you. Eric: I only do it because people have come to expect it. Jack: We usually go to the Val d'Isère and see the French Alps. Shawn: Those of us in the trailer park just like to thank God for all that we have this time of year. Jack: We pray on the plane. Raging Cory [5.12] Shawn: I can't believe you hit your dad! Now, does he have to leave the house in shame? Do you get his woman? Jack: [about Shawn's room] So when people throw garbage down the chute, this is where it winds up, huh? Shawn: Are you calling me a pig? Jack: A pig would never live in here. Shawn: Oh, yeah? [Shawn moves a curtain covering a closet to reveal a big black pig.] Cory: No, I don't wanna get up. I hit my father. That's gotta be a bad sin. If this were the Bible, I'd be a father-smiter. I'd be Cory, son of Alan the Bruised. The Eskimo [5.13] Shawn: I got four can't-miss ways on how to get Superbowl tickets. Cory: Okay, give me the best one. Shawn: I go back in time to the first Superbowl when tickets weren't that hard to get. Cory: Good. Good. Very good. I don't need to hear the other three. Jack: Hey. I didn't hear you come in last night. Must've had a pretty good time with your date, huh? Eric: Evening began at seven. Started with some intimate pre-dinner conversation at a quaint little Mexican place I happen to know. Came back here and... let's just say my clothes were off within five minutes. [sips coffee] Jack: You opened your big mouth, she walked out. You ate alone at Taco Bell, came home, took off all your clothes and were asleep by eight 'o'clock. Eric: How'd you do? Jack: Not as good. Eskimo: I am warm and you are cold. Heartbreak Cory [5.14] Lauren: Those slopes are treacherous. Feeny: He fell getting off the bus. Lauren: Those buses are treacherous. Cory: If you could change your mate into one animal, what would it be and why? Please, nothing fuzzy-wuzzy. Topanga: A falcon. Cory: Yes, a falcon. The hunter of all that is fuzzy-wuzzy. Topanga: No, a falcon because I want you to be free to soar majestically as long as I know that you'll always come back to me. Angela: If I ever get like that, kill me. Shawn: I would have to. First Girlfriends Club [5.15] Cory: I'm a Valentine's Day veteran, Shawn. I march in the parade. Jack: This whole Valentine's Day thing is one big scam. The greeting card companies, the candy stores, all trying to rip off the innocent consumer. Eric: No date, huh? Torn Between Two Lovers (Feeling Like a Fool) [5.16] Feeny: I need you to proctor. Eric: Me? Proctor? [dreamily] Proctor Matthews. Feeny: You know what "proctor" is? Eric: Yeah, it's a tushy doctor. Oh! Eeeeww, I'm not gonna do that! Topanga: He lied to me. He lied to me about staying up all night with Lauren. Strike one. Shawn: All they did was talk! Topanga: He lied to me about kissing her! Strike two. Shawn: All they did was talk and kiss! And Then There Was Shawn [5.17] Feeny: We'll return to The Young and the Restless right after this word from Feeny. And the word is...Shut up. Feeny: THAT'S ENOUGH! Now, this class will not be more interested in the romantic goings-on of its students than it is with whatever the hell I'm teaching! (the lights come on to reveal someone has thrown a pencil through Kenny's head. Kenny drops to the floor, the pencil leaving a line on the wall as he goes down) Cory: (walks to the pencil line on the wall) We'll always remember he was this tall. Eric: Oh my Gosh! They killed Kenny! Eric: Oh my Gosh! They killed Feeny! Shawn: Alright lets' calmly recap Eric: (quickly and panicked) Kenny's dead, Feeney's dead, we're trapped inside with the killer! Angela: Well, is any one of us safe?? Shawn: Yeah, virgins. Virgins never die. Cory: All right! [to Topanga] Thanks for saving me. Eric: [proud] I'm dead! Jack: [resigned] I'm dead. Shawn: Well, I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying. Angela: Feeny...he's dead. pause Shawn and Eric: Go Feeny! Go Feeny! I said, go, go, go Feeny! Jack: (standing over the bodies of Eric and 'Feffy') Eric! Feffy. Eric! Oh, he was my friend! My roommate! I didn't really know her. Jack: He paid half the rent! Now I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore! Wait...if I can't afford to live in my apartment anymore then I don't want to live! (Runs to window almost jumping out) Angela: Wait! Wait! Shawn is still your roommate! Together, you can make the rent. Feeny: Nebraska, Mr. Hunter. Nebraska! Shawn: The 75th State! Major Export: Tortillas! If You Can't Be With the One You Love... [5.18] Angela: [to Kimberly] You make one move on my best friend's man, and that new nose is gonna look like your old nose. Shawn: Dad used to drink and then he stopped. Jack: Do you know why he stopped drinking? Shawn: Because he ran out of money? Jack: Do you know why my mom left him? Shawn: Because she went for a guy with more money? Eric Hollywood [5.19] Amy: I cannot believe how deeply you feel up there, Eric. I mean, when you jumped into Ophelia's grave, overcome with emotion, and then wept openly: where did you get your motivation? Eric: I got it right here in the script. Look at it... "Weeps openly." I mean, they tell you what to do! Alan: The real tragedy tonight is that William Shakespeare couldn't be here to see how good you are! Eric: Oh, he'll come tomorrow. I mean, we're here all week. Alan: Unbelievable. Schneider: Sometimes I get shy. People who aren't shy make me nervous. Starry Night [5.20] Cory: This city is a cultural vacuum, my friend. Shawn: That's why my people settled here. Shawn: Cor, what I'm about to tell you is gonna make you wanna kill me. Cory: I'm not gonna kill you, Shawn. It takes too much time to break in a new best friend. Honesty Night [5.21] Feeny: Is that the stupid idea train coming around the bend? Cory: Okay Shawn, how are you going to save our doomed relationship? Topanga: It's not doomed, just hopeless. Prom-ises, Prom-ises [5.22] Shawn: Tonight we leave as boys and come back men. Cory: Are we talking about the same thing? Shawn: [raising an eyebrow seductively] I certainly hope so. Cory: Okay, so after the prom, romance in the air, you and Angela, you're gonna look in each other's eyes — Shawn: Me and Angela? Cory: I need your credit card. Don't ask me why, I just need it! Eric: Okay, but it might be maxed out. I just bought some gum. Alan: We're having a baby! Eric: I'm going to be an uncle? Things Change [5.23] Eric: You see, duckies are good, because not only do they give you that non-threatening sense of security, but you can feed them crackers and you can ride 'em. See, duckies are the horsies of the ocean. Cory: I sort of thought you guys would keep my room the way it is. Eric: Actually, Cor, for that I think you have to be unexpectedly killed by a truck or something. Eric: Mr. Feeny, if I'm really quiet, will you stay? Graduation [5.24] Cory: Well, Shawn. I think the time has come... to sign each others' yearbooks! Shall we talk about it first? Shawn: No, no, let's just do it. [They exchange yearbooks.] Cory: Boy oh boy. Where to begin, huh? [cuffing Shawn affectionately] What am I gonna say to you? I mean this is gonna take me at least a week. Shawn: [handing back the book] I'm done. Cory: You're done? [opens to the page] "Hey"? You write "Hey"?! Shawn: And I mean it! Topanga: [referring to an assignment] I'm doing it and I'm getting an A. Feeny: It's for no credit, Miss Lawrence. Topanga: I have six hundred and ninety-nine A's. [stands imposingly] I need one more. [grabs his collar] Give me the A, Feeny! Feeny: [scared] Okay, fine, you get an A. [Topanga lets go] You don't even have to do it, I'll just give you an A because I'm scared of you. Now that makes an even 700. Topanga: 700. That's more than anybody, right? Feeny: Oh, more than anybody. [to Cory as he walks by him] Good luck in Hell, Mr. Matthews. Category:Boy Meets World seasons