Celebrity (1998 film)

Celebrity is a 1998 satirical comedy about an unsuccessful screenwriter in Hollywood. Written and directed by Woody Allen. A funny look at people who will do anything to get famous... or stay famous. taglines Tony Gardella Tom Dale. Big star. He's in New York filming an adaptation of a sequel of a remake. [about Papadakis] He's very arty, pretentious, one of those assholes who shoots all his films in black and white. Nicole Oliver I can't have sex with you! My body belongs to my husband and there is no way that I could betray him in that way. But what I do from the neck up is a different story. Lee Simon Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it. One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High and you fucking blink and you're 40, you blink again and you can see movies at half price on a senior citizen's pass. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately, ask not for whom the toilet flushes. Just in time. Another minute, I'd have been found dead of comedy poisoning... Robin Simon No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck. I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier. [to Lee] I hope you catch a break. Donald Trump Well, I'm working on buying St. Patrick's Cathedral, maybe doing a little rip-down job and putting up a very very tall and beautiful building. Dialogue TV Reporter at Premiere: What's your next project? Dalton Freed: Birth of a Nation, an all-black version. Bonnie: Apparently his first two books... Lee: They were obliterated. I got the 3 esses: self-indulgent, sophomoric, solipsistic... Tony: Oh, and getting out of the elevator I see there's a famous critic. Robin: Him, I recognize. Tony: Oh, he used to hate every movie. Then, he married a young, big-bosomed woman, and now he loves every movie. Father Gladden's Fan on Porch: Did you agree with the Beatles, years ago, at the height of their fame, that they were bigger stars than Jesus? Father Gladden: The world population was much less then. Supermodel: You're not afraid of catching germs? And you know, I'm coming down with a cold and everything... Lee: From you I'd be willing to catch terminal cancer. Waiting Room Nurse: I'm sorry, the doctor just doesn't do penis enlargements. We don't have the space. Waiting Room Patient: We're talking about 3 inches here! Robin: There aren't any ticks around here, are there? I'd hate to get Lyme disease. Priest at Catholic Retreat: We haven't had any casualties. Cast Kenneth Branagh - Lee Simon Judy Davis - Robin Simon Joe Mantegna - Tony Gardella Winona Ryder - Nola Famke Janssen - Bonnie Charlize Theron - Supermodel Melanie Griffith - Nicole Oliver Leonardo DiCaprio - Brandon Darrow Gretchen Mol - Vicky Kate Burton - Cheryl Bebe Neuwirth - Nina Hank Azaria - David Douglas McGrath - Bill Gaines J. K. Simmons - Souvenir Hawker Dylan Baker - Catholic Retreat Priest Debra Messing - TV Reporter Allison Janney - Evelyn Isaacs Kate Burton - Cheryl Gerry Becker - Jay Tepper Tony Sirico - Lou DeMarco Celia Weston - Dee Bartholomew Aida Turturro - Olga Lorri Bagley - Gina David Margulies - Counselor Adelman Jeffrey Wright - Greg Tony Darrow - Moving Man Adrian Grenier, Sam Rockwell, and John Doumanian - Darrow's Entourage Greg Mottola - Director Michael Moon - Himself/El Flamingo Band Donald Trump - Himself Ian Somerhalder - Unconfirmed Karen Duffy - TV Reporter Frank Licari - Camera Man Andre Gregory - John Papadakis Taglines A funny look at people who will do anything to get famous... or stay famous. External links 0120533 Celebrity 1084868-celebrity Celebrity 168231 Celebrity celebrity Celebrity Category:1998 American films Category:Satire films Category:Black comedy films Category:Films directed by Woody Allen Category:Screenplays by Woody Allen Category:American comedy-drama films Category:Films about actors Category:Films set in New York City