Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is a 2015 sequel to the original Paul Blart: Mall Cop by Columbia Pictures and Happy Madison Productions. Paul Blart Help someone today! It looks like we've come to a fork in the road. [shoots the vibrating fork like a bow-and-arrow] Not today, death! Not today! We are trained to detect, deter, observe, and report. But one day, 6 years ago, a man did more than that. And I AM THAT MAN! Always bet on Blart. I don't drink. But I do ride! [slaps horse's butt, then horse kicks him into a car] Maya Blart [from trailer] Come on, Dad. It's a vacation. Try to enjoy it. If we live, I'm not going to UCLA. Holy crawfish! Others Margaret: [final words] Oh, there's my paper. [gets run over by a milk truck] Vincent: Unacceptable. [referring to Paul Blart] Kill him. Divina: Your uniform as requested, Officer Blart. Saul: Paul...can you step up to the plate and save us? Khan: I came straight from a haircut. Dialogue Henk: [walks in] Excuse me, guys, uh, but we have a complaint about the noise. Robinson: [walks up to Henk] That's why we have you. Vincent: Gotta say, Henk, nice uniform. Henk: Right? Look at that! Ha-ha, smiley! You don't wanna know what it took to get the real deal. Vincent: No, I don't Maya: Hey, Dad. I ordered your favorite. Paul: Oh, really? Well, you know what, I've lost my appetite. What has gotten into you? You lied to me. You said you were taking a nap. Maya: Well, I was going to, but... Paul: [interrupts Maya] Mm, you never called me once. You leave the bath filled which could've caused water damage, candles lit which could've burnt down Las Vegas, Nevada. Maya: I'm sorry. It's just Lane invited me to go out to the pool... Paul: [interrupts again] Lane? Lane? That's what this betrayal's about? Chicken Chow LANE?! Maya: Dad, people are looking. [smiles nervously] Paul: [calms down] What happened to her, Maya? What happened to the pristine girl who could never tell a lie? What happened to my little George Washington? Maya: "George Washington"? Paul: He could never tell a lie. He was full truth in a powdered wig. Maya: I think you're overreacting. Paul: Really? [pulls out UCLA application] And when were you gonna tell me about that? Maya: [pause, takes the application] Where did you find this? Paul: Please, Maya. I'm a highly-trained security specialist. You can't expect to keep secrets from me. Maya: [pause] I didn't think I'd get in. Paul: [sighs in disappointment] I didn't even know you applied there. What happened to Central Jersey Applied Technical Junior College? Maya: [excited] We're talking about UCLA here! Paul: Yeah, I thought we were talking about CJATJC. Maya: Dad, you don't understand. I have a chance to go to California! Paul: Maya, California... It's-It's too far away. Maya: [pause] Well, think about it this way: you can come visit me in the wintertime when really cold in Jersey. Paul: Of course I can if I want some smog in my earthquake flakes! Maya: [pause] You know what, I've decided: I'm going. Paul: Wait, you've...decided? You've just decided? Well, you know what, decision overruled. Judge Blart, now in session! [slams a plate of bread] [Maya stands up, Paul eats a bread slice] Maya: I know you've lost a lot lately and you're scared. [voice breaking] But what you're doing right now is so wrong. [Paul shakes his head] I'm going to UCLA. [she walks out in frustration] Paul: Maya? Maya, you get back... Maya... Paul: I told you I was crazy. Vincent: And I told you...that I'm crazy. Paul: Whoa. Y-You can't out-crazy me. My crazy will take your crazy, shove it in a metal tube, fill it with rats, then blowtorch it until the rats have no way to escape except eating their way through your crazy. Vincent: Wow. You are oblivious to the avalanche of insanity I am about to unload. You don't know what I will do to you! Paul: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU! I WILL SPIN AROUND UNTIL I THROW UP ON YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS! I SIMPLY DON'T CARE! Vincent: I STICK YOUR FACE IN MAPLE SYRUP AND MAKE YOU SING GOSPEL! HOW DOES THAT BLOW YOUR HAIR BACK, BLART?! Paul: I WILL CRAWL INSIDE YOU AND LAY EGGS LIKE A BABY SPIDER! Vincent: I WELCOME IT! I'VE GOT 2 DIFFERENT COLORED EYES! SHOWS YOU HOW I LIVE MY LIFE! Paul: I WILL BRING A FOLK GUITAR TO A PUMPKIN FIGHT BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I WAS BROUGHT UP! Vincent: [pause] Okay, you lost me on that last one. Paul: BECAUSE THAT'S HOW CRAZY I AM! NOW GIMME BACK MY DAUGHTER! Vincent: GIVE ME MY PAINTING! Paul: AAAAAHH!!! [throws the painting on the floor but it didn't slide due to the carpet] External links Category:2015 films Category:Sequel films