Pizza Movie

Pizza Movie is a 2026 absurdist stoner comedy film about two high college students who face an unexpectedly epic journey when they must navigate two flights of stairs to retrieve their pizza delivery, turning a simple task into a surreal adventure. Written and directed by Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher. College is a trip. Jack If you don't think I deserve the basic human decency of a second chance then fine, go ahead. Tape me to the top of that clock tower and pelt me with water balloons full of piss. But if not— [cut to Jack taped to the top of the clock tower being pelted with water balloons full of piss] Goddammit. [Montgomery: I think our heads explode if we say curse words?] Goddammit. [head explodes] Fine. Okay. I'll just say, like, "dang it". [head explodes] "Darn it"? [head explodes] Alright! I'll make up my own. Cremble sauce. [head explodes] We can say "cunt", but we can't say "cremble sauce"? We gotta get that fucking pizza. Montgomery Well, no one's got dirtier undies than me. [pause] Not from poop, to be clear. [beat] Or cum... Cheese and rice! I just wanted a quiet night, and now I'm gonna get chainsaw-fucked by the Rat King from The Nutcracker! Hi Ashley, how's your night going? Grood? [to self] "Grood"? Shart. [head explodes] I mean, maybe you could stand to think a little bit more about other people's dicks. Other Football Bro: Yo, we got kegs, beer pong, and I'm legally required to tell you I'm a registered sex offender. Sidney: My name is Sidney Putt. I am 31 years young. I like to dress up as the Grinch in a diaper while sucking down a bunch of helium [baby voice] so I sound like a baby. Snackatron 3000: You agree not to fall in love or lust with Snackatron. You may not teach Snackatron to be racist, and you may never ever ride Snackatron. Blake: Early internet message boards predicted the coming of the chosen face. One so distinct, so peculiar, so utterly freak-ass, it would profoundly beguile every phone's Face ID. A skeleton key. Dialogue Ashley: Well, I guess technically, it's new wave, non-consensual Death Metal Folk. Montgomery: Uh, what type of instruments is that? Ashley: So, George plays guitar, Simon's on horns, Tina's on drums, and I play Dudley. Montgomery: You play Dudley? Ashley: Yeah! I hook him up to this machine that simulates the pains of childbirth, and then I create harmonies from his extracted screams. Sidney: And I guess I'm just looking for ways to connect with the other RAs. Um, like, you know, what do you guys do in your free time? Montgomery: Oh, not much. Sometimes I Google "is my penis foreskin too long?" Sidney: Hm. Yeah, well... I guess I meant more like communal activities. Like, do you guys go to the gym together or exercise or— Montgomery: I only go to the gym to sneak peeks at other guys' foreskin to see if mine is way longer than normal! Jack: [whispered] What the fuck? Cast Gaten Matarazzo as Jack Sean Giambrone as Montgomery Lulu Wilson as Lizzy Jack Martin as Blake Peyton Elizabeth Lee as Ashley Marcus Scribner as Logan Caleb Hearon as Sidney Sarah Sherman as Frankie Justin Cooley as Byron Bobby Moynihan as Snackatron 3000 (voice) Daniel Radcliffe as Lysander Featherhelm, the Butterfly (voice) External links 37209937 Pizza Movie pizza_movie Pizza Movie Category:2026 American films Category:American comedy films Category:Stoner films Category:Surreal comedy films Category:2026 English-language films Category:Hulu original films