Faye Keegan

Faye Keegan is an English freelance journalist. Her work has appeared in the Guardian, Vogue, and National Geographic. Quotes It's Time to Retire the Concept of 'Losing Your Virginity' (2023) "It's Time to Retire the Concept of 'Losing Your Virginity'", Vogue (31 July 2023) What actually is "virginity"? Of course, it means different things to different people, but for the most part the prevailing consensus (and the definition given by the Oxford English Dictionary) is still that "virginity" refers to a state of sexual inexperience—specifically, inexperience of heteronormative sexual intercourse, a.k.a. penile-vaginal penetration. This immediately throws up some problems. While we're on the topic of bodies, now seems as good a time as any to remind you that there is no biological basis for the notion of virginity: it is not a scientific term used to describe the transition from one state of being to another, and, despite what some shady doctors may try and sell you, it is literally impossible to gauge a person's level of sexual experience by inspecting their genitalia. There is no test for virginity (just ask the World Health Organization); how could there be, when engaging in the act of penetrative sex does nothing to alter the physical body in any permanent, discernible way. The hymen—that thin layer of tissue which surrounds and partly covers most (but not all) vaginal openings, and which can be (but isn't always) torn the first time the vagina is penetrated, which sometimes (but not every time) results in bleeding—can be ruptured in a number of ways which involve no sexual contact whatsoever, such as inserting a tampon, doing gymnastics, or riding a bicycle. The notion of “virginity” is not scientific; it is a wholly and entirely social construct, existing only within our collective imaginations. Instead of this tired concept, we need a new language of sexual experience, one which is fully inclusive, and which is able to express the full macrocosm of sex, never prioritizing or privileging one individual act over another. We need a language which leaves room for gradations of experience, always recognizing that our knowledge and understanding of sexuality is never—and will never be—fully complete. Our language of sexual experience must contain multitudes because sex contains multitudes: there is always another frontier, whether it's new preferences, positions, or partners, or perhaps changes to your own body; sex feels different after childbirth, for example, as I'm sure it does after menopause. Becoming "sexually experienced" doesn't begin and end with penetration, and it doesn't happen overnight: It's a long and gradual process, with infinite potential for new discoveries. If you're lucky, it can last a lifetime. External links Q141640859 Category:Living people Category:Journalists from England