Houseboat (film)

thumb|Cary Grant as Tom Winters and Sophia Loren as Cinzia Zaccardi Houseboat is a 1958 film about a widower, his three young children, and an Italian nanny who get to know each other better when circumstances have them living together aboard a badly neglected houseboat. Directed by Melville Shavelson. Written by Melville Shavelson, Jack Rose and Betsy Drake. It All Happens Happily on a Heaven of a Houseboat!  taglines Tom Winters Cinzia, come on. Your date is here, straining at the leash. Think what the world would be like if nothing ever died. There'd be no room for the new and the young and beautiful that's being born all the time. It happens that I care. I don't want my kids parceled out like cabbages. Cinzia Zaccardi I can make boiled eggs very well now, and cereal. I just pour in milk, and it goes crack, pop, and snap. It does all the work. Even I cannot spoil it. I am already 22 and I haven't yet given my first performance for a man, any man! I'm tired of the best people. I wish I could meet some of the worst people! Carolyn Gibson Hello. They've got quite a buffet tonight. Would you care to come over and watch me eat crow? Angelo Donatello Right down the road is my old man's grocery store. And across the river is the country club. Of course, there's a better class of people at the grocery store, but that's up to you. It's a free country. Arturo Zaccardi I can lock her in her room, I can take her to Italy, but the only way I can keep her is to let her go away. Dialogue Capt. Alan Wilson: [to Cinzia in an evening dress] I love your new uniform. What do you wear on your day off? Eleanor, we're going to have to get rid of Sadie the Scrubber. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what i call a maid. [spanks Cinzia's behind] Cinzia Zaccardi: Uhh! There are those who require alcohol to give them courage. I'm not one of them. [throws a Martini in Alan's face] Is it dry enough? Tom Winters: Well, you must have had a lot of experience raising children. Cinzia Zaccardi: No, I have no experience. But I know when a little child is unhappy. I know, and how I know, when a father is unreasonable. Try to be a parent, not a policeman. Tom Winters: I don't know what you know about parents. But I imagine you've had a wide acquaintance amongst policemen. [Cinzia slaps him] Tom Winters: I'll have to call one if you keep that up. Cinzia Zaccardi: Where is their mother? Tom Winters: What did you say? Cinzia Zaccardi: Their mother? Tom Winters: You are looking at her. I'm a little new at the job. Tom Winters: How long is it since you had a bath? Cinzia Zaccardi: Che cosa? Tom Winters: A bath! You look as if you need a good scrubbing. Elizabeth Winters: Cinzia's getting melon and prosciutto. That's ham. You eat it cold and you don't have to cook it. Carolyn Gibson: Who's Cinzia? Elizabeth Winters: Cinzia's our maid. She doesn't know how to cook. Carolyn Gibson: So, I see. Where's your father? Elizabeth Winters: Oh, he's doing the laundry for the weekend at the laundromat. We have to bring the clothes there because Cinzia doesn't know how to wash. Carolyn Gibson: Just what does she do? Elizabeth Winters: Oh, everything! Angelo Donatello: The Sons of Italy Ball. We'll tie one on together, huh? What do you say? You want to be the lucky girl this year? Cinzia Zaccardi: Mr. Donatello, you have a certain native charm. Please reserve it for the natives. Elizabeth Winters: Listen, about married people. Cinzia Zaccardi: What? Elizabeth Winters: Do they sleep in the same bed together? Cinzia Zaccardi: In America, sometimes. In Italy, always. Tom Winters: I'm delighted you're the belle of the ball, but may I have this next dance? Cinzia Zaccardi: Oh, yes. Tom Winters: My recollection is a little hazy, but I believe I'm the fellow who brought you. Cinzia Zaccardi: Oh, yes, you are the stuffy one. Tom Winters: You'll get a spanking you'll never forget. Cinzia Zaccardi: Oh, yes. A spanking solves so many things. Or a slap in the face. It's so much easier than understanding. Tom Winters: I think I should apologize for the behavior of the upper classes in America. Cinzia Zaccardi: They behave like the upper classes in Italy, also the lower classes. Tom Winters: I know how you feel. But nothing ever stays exactly the same. Everything changes. Everybody has to leave. Everybody, sooner or later, and it's not so bad. Everything's different, but it's not so bad. You'll all be leaving me before long, and I have to get used to that. You can't remain children forever, no matter how much you want to. Elizabeth Winters: Oh, why do you talk so much? Tom Winters: Everything is constantly changing. So perhaps when our souls leave our bodies, we go back into God's universe in the security of being part of all life again and of all nature. So, for all we know, that sort of life after death may be very beautiful. David Winters: If you say so. Hey, Pop. Tom Winters: What? David Winters: Don't do anything beautiful for a while, will you? Tom Winters: I'll try not to. David Winters: And give up smoking. It's bad for older people. Tom Winters: Go to your room. You're not gonna get anything to eat tonight. David Winters: Thanks. I'm trying to lose weight. Cinzia Zaccardi: You see? When a fish comes, the bell rings and announces his arrival. Isn't it nice? Tom Winters: Very nice. But tell me, do you think if you attach one end to a dust rag, the fish might dust the furniture for you? Tom Winters: How are you and John getting along these days? Carolyn Gibson: Well, it's one of those modern marriages. Electric blankets and everything. Angelo Donatello: Did you make up your mind about the boat? Do you want to rent? Do you want to buy? Do you want to make a deal? Tom Winters: It's a leaky, broken-down soggy derelict that'll probably sink and dump us all in the river. But I wouldn't think of living any other place. Angelo Donatello: My brother once took a dame like that to the Sons of Italy Ball. Boom: he's married. Tom Winters: Oh, boom. Angelo Donatello: And ever since, he's been having sons of Italy all over the place. You know what I mean? Six kids, doctor bills, his wife getting fat and sloppy. I mean, who needs it? Taglines It All Happens Happily on a Heaven of a Houseboat! Cary and Sophia...in love with life, each other, and Cary's irresistible, irrepressible kids! Cast Cary Grant - Tom Winters Sophia Loren - Cinzia Zaccardi Martha Hyer - Carolyn Gibson Harry Guardino - Angelo Donatello Eduardo Ciannelli - Arturo Zaccardi Murray Hamilton - Capt. Alan Wilson Mimi Gibson - Elizabeth Winters Paul Petersen - David Winters Charles Herbert - Robert Winters Madge Kennedy - Mrs. Farnsworth John Litel - William Farnsworth Werner Klemperer - Harold Messner Susan Cabot - Mrs. Eleanor Wilson Kathleen Freeman - Laundromat gossip External links 0051745 Houseboat Category:1958 American films Category:American romantic comedy films Category:Films set on boats Category:1958 English-language films Category:Films set in Washington, D.C.