Three Men and a Baby

Three Men and a Baby is a 1987 comedy film starring Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, and Ted Danson, directed by Leonard Nimoy, in his first non-Star Trek movie directorial role. It was followed by the 1990 sequel, Three Men and a Little Lady. They changed her diapers. She changed their lives. taglines Dialogue Michael: How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting? Peter: Beats the shit out of me. Michael: She did a doodle; your turn to change her. Peter: I'll give you a $1,000.00 if you'll do it. Jack: Angelyne! Whew! Boy, you look different. What happened? Angelyne: I'm dressed. Rebecca: Jack has a baby? Peter: I realize such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes. Mrs. Hathaway: I love kids. Unfortunately, Mr. Hathaway and I aren't able to have children. He has a low sperm count. Michael: Some guys have all the luck. Peter: All we have to do is feed it, it'll shut up. Michael: I don't know what babies eat. Peter: Soft stuff. We were babies once, for God's sake. What did we eat? Michael: I don't know, but it couldn't have been very good. I can't remember! [Peter has gone to the store for baby supplies, leaving Michael to take care of a wailing Mary by himself] Michael (singing): Hush little baby, don't you cry. When Peter gets home, I'm gonna punch him in the eye! Peter: Feel her teeth. Michael: What? Peter: The druggist said you can tell how old she is by feeling her teeth. Michael: I'm not going to feel her teeth, YOU feel her teeth! [Peter wets and cleans his finger, then sticks it in Mary's mouth] Peter: I can't feel anything. Michael: What does that mean? Peter: It means she doesn't have any damn teeth! Michael: Well, neither did Gabby Hayes and he was 90, so what? Peter: I'm an architect, for Christ's sake, I build 50 story skyscrapers, I assemble cities of the future, I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper. Michael: Whoa, these diapers are way too big! Peter: They're ultra absorbent! The more absorbent, the better, if you ask me. Peter: Where'd you put the baby powder? Michael: Down the hall, I'll get it. Peter: What'd you put it out there for? We're bathing her in here. Michael: It's just down the hall! Peter: Well, we're not bathing her in the hall, are we? Michael: Well, maybe we should START, goddamn it! [slams baby powder container on pool table, causing powder to pour everywhere] Peter: You're going to clean that up. Taglines They changed her diapers. She changed their lives. Peter, Michael and Jack know a thing or two about women. But when it comes to babies, they're all wet. Cast Tom Selleck - Peter Mitchell Steve Guttenberg - Michael Kellam Ted Danson - Jack Holden Margaret Colin - Rebecca Celeste Holm - Mrs. Holden Nancy Travis - Sylvia Bennington Alexandra Amini - Patty Francine Beers - Woman at Gift Shop Lisa and Michelle Blair - Mary Bennington Philip Bosco - Det. Sgt. Melkowitz Barbara Budd - Actress Michael Burgess - Man at Party Claire Cellucci - Angelyne Eugene Clark - Man #1 at Party Derek de Lint - Jan Clopatz Jacob Strackeljahn - Juan Pablo Jr. Jeff Kingsley - Dr. Octavius Agustus Steelex Dave Foley - Grocery Store Clerk Cynthia Harris - Mrs. Hathaway External links Best Adult Diapers Brands 0094137 Category:1987 films Category:1980s American films Category:Comedy films Category:Remake films Category:Films set in New York City Category:Films directed by Leonard Nimoy