Henny Youngman

thumb|Henny Youngman (circa 1957) Henry "Henny" Youngman (16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was a comedian and violinist famous for "one-liners", short simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire. Quotes The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. "Forbes‎" - Vol. 166, Page 156, de Bertie Charles Forbes - Forbes Inc., 2000 Take my wife - please! Take My Wife, Please!: Henny Youngman's Giant Book of Jokes (1999) Business was so bad the other night the orchestra was playing "Tea for One." Don't Put My Name on this Book (1976), p. 92 My first Hollywood picture wasn't released, it escaped. Insurance Newsweek, volume 45 (1944), page 60 I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother, 101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman (1976). Brochure.Cited in: Essays of an Information Scientist, Vol:4, p.515-518, 1979-80, Current Comments #26, p. 516, June 30, 1980 PDF. "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001) Lawrence J. Epstein's "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001) I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. My wife told me the car wasn't running well. There was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake. My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree. External links Category:Jews from the United States Category:Stand-up comedians from the United States Category:Violinists from the United States Category:1906 births Category:1998 deaths Category:People from London