Melissa & Joey

Melissa & Joey (2010–2015) is an American sitcom, which aired on ABC Family (now Freeform). The series title reflects the actors’ names, not their characters’, as it follows local politician Melanie “Mel” Burke (Hart) and Joseph “Joe” Longo (Lawrence), whom Mel hires to look after her niece Lennox Scanlon (Taylor Spreitler) and nephew Ryder Scanlon (Nick Robinson) after a Ponzi scheme run by Mel’s sister and brother-in-law leaves Joe broke. On August 5, 2015, Freeform cancelled the series after 5 seasons. Freeform aired the final episode on August 5, 2015. Season 1 Pilot Moving On Nanny Love Boy Toys ‘R’ Us The Perfect Storm Spies & Lies Up Close & Personal Dancing With the Stars of Toledo Seoul Man In Lennox We Trust A Fright in the Attic Joe Knows Enemies with Benefits Don’t Train on My Parade Lost in Translation Joe Versus the Reunion Toledo’s Next Top Model The Mel Word Auction Hero Waiting for Mr. Right Young Love Mel & Joe’s Anniversary Going the Distance? All Politics is Local The Other Longo Teacher/Teacher Play Ball A House Divided Do As I Say, Not As I Did The Settlement Season 2 I Can Manage If You Can’t Stand the Heat Good to Go All Up in My Business The Knockout Breaking Up is Hard to Do Mixed Doubles The Donor Eat, Pray, Date Pretty Big Liars A Pair of Sneakers Mother of All Problems Wherefore Art Thou Lennox From Russia to Love Mel Marries Joe Season 3 Works for Me Toxic Parents Inside Job Can’t Hardly Wait Oh Brother The Truth Hurts The Unkindest Cut Mel: (voiceover) “Melissa & Joey” is recorded in front of the live studio audience. (Mel comes back home from Austin’s) Joe: Hey. Mel: (annoyingly sighs) Joe: And good morning to you. Mel: (pointing at the basket) What the hell is that? Joe: Oh, that’s a bribe from the Buchwalds. Yeah, they’re still trying to woo me over there to be their full-time nanny. Mel: (reading) “We long for you, Joe Longo.” Joe: (laughing) Isn’t that funny? Mel: (reading) “From the Buchwald family, Zev, Sienna, Liam, Alexa, Tessa and Tucker.” Oh, look at us. We’re one huge happy family. (mockingly laughing) Show-offs. Take your muffin basket and shove it, Buchwalds. Joe: Oh, I see that night at the spa did wonders for your mood. Mel: Austin had a vasectomy. Joe: They do that there? I mean, they do the whole seaweed wrap thing. I just didn’t realize it was so tight. Mel: Not last night. When he was 25, he decided he never wanted to have kids. Joe: Wow. I’m sorry, Burke. Jeez, that sucks. Man, the biggest decision I made at 25 was to grow a goatee. (chuckles) It was awesome by the way. Mel: You know what, Joe? You just made a very good point. You don’t have that goatee now. You are a different person in your 30s than you were in your 20s. You’ve changed. You know, maybe Austin could change too. Joe: No, no, no, no, no. What-Wh-What Austin shaved off, no man can grow that back. Mel: Or can he? (She goes into the living room) Joe: No, no, no, Mel. He really can’t. It’s… Lennox: Let me out. Ryder: Where’s the essay? Lennox: Just move. Ryder: Nope. My job is to keep you here writing. That’s what my boss says. Between you and me, she is a total b… big sister. Lennox: I need to go, okay? I got an emergency text. Ryder: What kind of emergency? Lennox: Zander needs a kiss. He looks so sad and lonely. Ryder: Oh, let me see. (taking her phone) Yup. Lennox: Hey! No… Ryder: No boyfriend for you. (He tries to put it on the top of the door) Lennox: No. (Joe returns home) Joe: Hey. Lennox: Hey, nice move. Joe: What? Lennox: Bringing in that baby. Joe: Uh, that wasn’t a move. I was babysitting. Lennox: Right, yeah. The Buchwalds needed you to babysit at the exact moment aunt Mel needed help to realize what she wanted in life. Joe: It’s funny how that worked out. Lennox: You really care about her, don’t you, Joe? Joe: Yeah, of course I care about her. Like I care about all you guys. That’s…that’s my job. Lennox: Yeah, but you’re only paid to look after Ryder and me. Caring about aunt Mel, that sounds like something you do because you want to. Joe: (chuckles) There’s really so much you don’t know about people. Lennox: There’s really so much you don’t know about you. (Joe leaves) The Unfriending Something Happened Family Feud Fast Times Bad Influence Mel: To you, Joe. You’re a good friend. You know, you risked your reputation or whatever’s left of it…to save me. Joe: Well, it wasn’t a big deal. You know, it’s like I always say “Friends don’t let friends’ sex tapes go viral.” (They give each other a free cheer) Joe: I hope you’re gonna destroy that thing. Mel: Mmm, no, I’m gonna keep it. Are you kidding? This is a part of my past. It’s who I am. And if memory serves, I look pretty damn good in it. In fact, I was thinking about throwing myself a solo viewing party later. Joe: Yeah, all right, I guess I can see why you’d want to keep it. (He smashes a videotape with the pepper shaker) You’re welcome. Mel: My tape! Joe: Yeah, you’ll thank me when you’re president. Teach Your Children What Happens in Jersey (Part 1) What Happens in Jersey (Part 2) A New Kind of Christmas Season 4 A Decent Proposal Independence Day The New Deal (Ryder is putting the whipped cream in each bowl as Mel comes to see them) Mel: So what’s for dinner? Ryder: Here you go. Mel: Okay, that is the bowl of whipped cream. That’s not a meal. (Ryder pours the pretzels in) Ryder: Now it is. Mel: You really expect me to eat this? (eating the pretzel and the whipped cream) Oh, man, that’s good. Ryder: Told you. I know what I’m doing. Lennox: Wait, I thought you were going out to dinner with Joe. Mel: Joe had to work tonight. He’s always on call. But I’m okay with that. You know, dating a Manny is like dating a doctor… except with the income, status, or access to drugs. Feel the Burn Plus One Mel: How could you encourage this? Joe: I didn’t encourage this. I didn’t know she had a baby. When Ryder said, you know, she had a lot going on. I thought he meant Spanish club and yearbook. Not Mommy and me and breastfeeding. Mel: Th-This could totally ruin Ryder’s future. You know, he’s already getting a “C” in algebra without a baby in his life. With a baby, who knows what kind of terrible things could happen? Joe: Maybe he’ll get a better grade in biology. (Stella comes in) Stella: Hey. Mel: Hey, Stella. Stella: Um, I had some extra milk. Is it cool if I put it in the fridge for next time? Mel: Yeah, of course. I mean, there’s always room in my fridge for teen mom milk. I’m totally cool with this. Joe: Just-Just-Just don’t put it next to the half and half, all right? I don’t want to make any mistakes when I’m making my coffee in the morning. Stella: Oh, got it. Oh, and thanks again for being so understanding. (She leaves) Mel: (sighs) Joe: Yeah, she seems pretty sweet. Maybe, maybe this would be okay. Mel: Okay? Really? Ryder didn’t know how to tie his shoes till he was 15. How’s he going to handle a relationship with a girl who has a kid? Holy crap! Ryder has a baby before I do. Not that it’s a competition. House Broken Couples Therapy To Tell the Truth My Roof, My Rules The Chaperones I’ll Cut You Catch & Release Born To Run More Than Roommates Accidents Will Happen Right Time, Right Place Don’t Look Back in Anger Uninvited You’re the One That I Want Maybe I’m Amazed At Last Season 5 Witch Came First A Melanie & Josiah Christmas The Honeymooners The Day After Let’s Get It Started Failure to Communicate Thanks But No Thanks Face the Music Being There Parental Guidance Gone Girl You Say You Want an Ovulation Call of Duty You Little Devil The Book Club The Early Shift The Parent Trap Melissa & Joey’s Frozen Put a Ring on It Game Night Be The Bigger Person Double Happiness Cast Melissa Joan Hart as Mel Burke Joey Lawrence as Joe Longo Taylor Spreitler as Lennox Scanlon Nick Robinson as Ryder Scanlon External links Category:2010s American multi-camera sitcoms Category:TV shows about families Category:Cancelled shows Category:Freeform shows