Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Season 12

Seasons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Main Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999–present) is a long-running crime drama, part of the popular Law & Order franchise created by Dick Wolf. The show focuses on the Special Victims Unit, a special squad dealing with sex crimes and crimes against children. Locum [12.01] Captain Cragen: Hold up. Liv, I'm gonna have to pull you. Benson: Why? Captain Cragen: You're gonna have to finish interviewing Mackenzie. Her mom is demanding a penis-free environment. Benson: Am I to understand that Mackenzie had a nose job? Pamela: She broke it years ago in a skateboarding accident. Her foster parents didn't even take her to the hospital. Kevin: It caused a deviated septum. We got it fixed for her. Why is that a problem? Benson: It was an unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Kevin: Excuse me. If giving a child a nose job is a crime, you'd have to arrest half the parents on the Upper West Side. Bullseye [12.02] [Benson and Stabler unplug Jeff's video game as he is playing it] Jeff: WHOA! Where the hell'd you come from? Stabler: The real world. Join us. [Stabler shows Amber a picture of her daughter, Rose] Amber: Not my daughter. Stabler: Now, you just said that you have a daughter named Rose. Amber: I do. Somewhere. Stabler: That's not her? Amber: It looks like her, and this girl's been living in our apartment. But she's an imposter. Behave [12.03] Benson: [about Vicki's 2000 rape kit] Why'd it take so long to test it? Winters: 'Cause we have thousands of kits sitting in the freezer. How bad's your backlog? Benson: We don't have one. Every kit is tested after an assault, and the results are forwarded back to us and to the D.A. Winters: [gets a phone call] That was the lab. The DNA from Vicki's rape kit is degraded. Benson: Oh, I can't catch a break! Winters: But the tech's willing to testify he's got enough matching alleles to ID. Benson: I'm gonna collar this guy's ass, and then I'm gonna send it to you on a silver platter. Winters: It's yours. California has a 10-year statute. The clock ran out on Vicki's rape three weeks ago. Benson: You knew all along that you couldn't prosecute? Winters: But I knew you could. Go get the prick. Vicki: [to Harris] Now I'll always know where you are. Be a good boy. [slams the cell door shut] Behave yourself. Merchandise [12.04] [Benson and Stabler observe child prostitutes during a stakeout] Benson: They're not your kids, El. Stabler: I know. Benson: We can't save them all. Stabler: I'd settle for just one. Benson: As long as we keep criminalizing victims instead of going after their perps, it's never gonna happen. We should at least arrest their johns. Stabler: So what? It's a slap on the wrist. I mean, Spitzer walked; he was a former prosecutor. Benson: Guy gets caught with an under-aged hooker, the charge should be rape! Stabler: Hard time isn't a deterrent. Benson: Neither is the death penalty. It's just the price of doing business. It's time to treat these bastards like the scum they really are. Fin: [to the pimps] Fact: you are all now my bitches! Wet [12.05] Dr. Huang: Lindsay Elding was poisoned. [shows mushrooms on the media screen] Munch: By who? The Smurfs? Mikka: [walking out of the courthouse with Stabler] I think we're gonna make a great team Stabler: Me too. [sees Cragen walking up the courthouse steps] Captain. How's the old place? Captain Cragen: It's all getting squared away. Mikka: Captain Cragen. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Mikka Von, your new ADA. Captain Cragen: Yeah, well, nice knowing you. Your boss called. He's tied up. Asked me to deliver a message. Pack your bags. Go back to Chicago. Mikka: [scoffs] I'm being fired by proxy? Stabler: What's going on? Captain Cragen: Apparently, you sent a defense attorney on vacation, sub rosa. D.A. doesn't like dirty tricks. Stabler: Unless he's the one doing them. Captain Cragen: I'm sorry. Mikka: [to Stabler] Well, I guess I gotta go take my loft off the market. Stabler: [shakes hands with Mikka] Been nice working with you. Mikka: Back at you. [walks away] Captain Cragen: She one of the good ones? Stabler: Yeah. Branded [12.06] Benson: Are you proud of yourself? You trashed her. Hardwicke: My job's to win the case. Benson: No, your job is to make sure that justice is done! Convicting Camille isn't justice. Hardwicke: That's for the jury to decide. Benson: The jury is going to throw the book at her because you turned her into some crazy slut. Congratulations! [detectives find evidence linking Gammon to several rapes] Gammon: What happens now? Stabler: Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Stabler: [looking at a picture of Camille] Her with her dad before he was sent away to Bellevue? Benson: We're all branded, I guess. By our parents, our childhoods. Stabler: Think you turned out all right. Benson: Makes one of us. Trophy [12.07] Stabler: [Discussing the victim, who was found in a load of commercial laundry] We know where the load came from? Dr. Warner: Mercy Hospital. Benson: This was no mercy killing. Stabler: When you get the itch you call your bitch! Penetration [12.08] Agent Lewis: I need you to run this rape kit as a Jane Doe. Benson: Who's the victim? Agent Lewis: Me. Agent Lewis: The PAT's plan was to spark a revolution by killing a cop. And you guys served up that state trooper on a silver platter. Then, after all of New York's finest would attend the funeral, they would just blow everybody else up. [tosses a grenade towards Stabler and he catches it] Stabler: Hey, hey. I don't have a good track record with you and explosives. [Nervously hands grenade back to her] Agent Lewis: Oh relax, Nancy. The pin is in it. Agent Lewis: [to the man who ordered her rape] I'm going to get past this. Unlike you, I'm going to have a life. Gray [12.09] Benson: Who you calling? Stabler: Hardwicke. Seeing what we should do with Chuckles here. Fin: I'm ahead of you. Hardwicke's in Albany meetin' with the AG. The temp ADA's on the way. Stabler: Well, hopefully, it's somebody who knows how to sort through this mess. Paxton: How 'bout me, hon? Messes are my specialty. [enters the squad room] Hey, Stabler. Miss me? Benson: [surprised] Sonya, what are you doin' here? Paxton: You mean, how did I escape the drunk tank? Stabler: No, she means, why us? [Chuck opens the door to his room, expecting to see Carla] Chuck: Carla, baby? Daddy's here. [drops his pants] You called, Chuck-a-luck delivers, big time! [suddenly, the lamp turns on; on Chuck's bed is Paxton] Whoa! [puts his pants back on] Paxton: Doesn't look that big to me. Chuck: Who the hell are you? Paxton: Sonya Paxton. I'm from the District Attorney's office. I heard you had something that could really rock my world, but... [Benson, Stabler, and Carla enter] Benson: Hey. Funny. You never told us you had a girlfriend. Stabler: Chuck Mills, you're under arrest for abortion in the second degree. Chuck: I want a lawyer! Paxton: Get a good one, 'cause I'm gonna kick your ass. Chuck: There's nothin' in that tube but lube! [Stabler tells Paxton about what Kathleen had done] Paxton: Your daughter?! You didn't have the balls to do your own dirty work, so you sent your kid to break the law for you?! Stabler: Nobody broke the law! Paxton: What is wrong with you people?! GOD! How many Brady violations do you have to get slapped with?! You can't keep screwin' up like this! Stabler: If you would just shut...! Just shut up for one second. I can explain. Paxton: No, no, you shut up! I'll explain to you. Okay?! You just handed Chuck Mills a get-out-of-jail-free card! Stabler: Chuck Mills isn't going anywhere, because I didn't tell my daughter to take the file. Paxton: Oh! Right! Right! And I should believe you, because you have a reputation for playing by the book, and it's beyond reproach! Stabler: You know somethin'?! I hope you're not on the sauce right now, 'cause I got a policy against strangling drunks. Go have a drink. Rescue [12.10] Stabler: A bar graph of penis size? Munch: You were expecting a pie chart? Calvin: I made this for you in art class. It's you. Benson: Calvin, it's beautiful! Calvin: I signed it. Benson: "Calvin Benson". [pause] Calvin: Because you rescued me. Benson: [choked up] Go to school. Hardwicke: [of Vivian and Sarah] Codependent and drug-dependent. It's like Sid and Nancy, except they're both Nancy. Pop [12.11] Clerk: Docket ending 419. People vs. Henry Shaw Roberts. One count each: Assault in the second degree, criminally negligent homicide, endangering the welfare of a child. Judge Preston: Busy man, Mr. Roberts. How do you plead? Hank: Not guilty. Hunter: On all counts, your honor. And the homicide charge is a stretch. Hardwicke: The defendant forced his stepson to fight a 10-year-old and bet on the winner. What would you call the death of that child? Judge Preston: I'll let the grand jury decide. Bail, Miss Hardwicke? Hardwicke: Remand, your honor. When he's not promoting kiddie fights, the defendant spends his spare time beating up his wife and stepson. Hunter: My client has never been arrested. He has a steady job and strong ties to the community. Judge Preston: First offense, Miss Hardwicke. Can you live with 50,000 bail? Hardwicke: If it's cash only and comes with an order of protection for Mrs. Roberts. Judge Preston: So ordered. Mr. Roberts, you are not to come within 200 feet of your wife, your stepson, or your home. Hank: Then where the hell am I gonna stay? Judge Preston: Rikers Island, if you violate the order. Unless you'd rather go now. Hunter: That won't be necessary. Mr. Roberts will abide by your ruling. Judge Preston: Then we're done, aren't we? 10-minute recess. [bangs gavel] Hank: No broad in a black robe is gonna keep me from what's mine. Stabler: If she doesn't, I will. Fin: How'd it go? Stabler: Sandra's the queen of denial, and Hank is a human hand grenade ready to explode. Fin: If Cragen hadn't stepped in yesterday, he would've blown. Too bad. [Stabler smirks at him] I got a son too, remember? Possessed [12.12] Stabler: I hope you die a slow, painful death! Have a nice day. Hardwicke: The guy's not dumb. He went to law school. Fin: Since when was that mutually exclusive? Mask [12.13] Protester: When God makes you pregnant, stay pregnant; when God make you barren, stay barren. Stabler: When God gives you a uterus, maybe we'll listen to your sermon. Dr. Huang: [about a rapist who wears a god mask] He's a narcissist. Stabler: Well, yeah, he thinks he's a god! Dirty [12.14] Rivera: This a conjugal visit? Danielson: You're never gonna have sex ever again. At least not the consenting kind. Sunny: So what, I took the money? I earned it! Benson: Let me ask you something: was it worth it? Sunny: Talk to me in 10 years when you have nothing: no family, no future and a dead career. How's that sound? Benson: I'm not you Sunny, I'm nothing like you. Sunny: Then why are you so scared? Flight [12.15] [Benson and Stabler approach a billionaire rapist's private jet] Stabler: Hayes has a female pilot. That's interesting. Benson: Something tells me his glass ceiling is the mirror over his bed. Benson: Jordy is no different from any other predator. He's just better dressed. Spectacle [12.16] Stabler: It's called the bystander effect. No one does anything because they think someone else will. Stabler: I get that Engels was traumatized, but why kidnap an innocent girl? Dr. Huang: Control. His parents' deaths and his brother's kidnapping took it from him; this is his way of getting it back. Fin: A-hole couldn't get a hobby? Pursuit [12.17] Stabler: Want me to cut my vacation short? Benson: No, I'm covered. I'm good. Stabler: Well, Fin may have your 6, but he's definitely not me. Fin: No, I'm better. I actually watch her back, and not her backside. Alicia: I don't have the stomach for it anymore. 25 years looking for this piece of garbage, and he gets a gym membership and cable while his victims rot in the ground or bleed out a bathroom floor. Bully [12.18] Benson: So she brings home a date, opens something from the company cellar, and he attacks her. Stabler: So much for romance. Fin: I screwed up my shoulder busting in your back door - don't make me break my fist on your face. Bombshell [12.19] Benson: You sure this guy's out here? The only thing I've seen in the last half hour is a five pound rat. Stabler: Yeah, you've got it bad? I just saw a transvestite that looks like Munch. [during Doug and Cassandra's arraignment] Judge Andrews: Lot of charges here, Miss Hardwicke. I hope you aren't trying to substitute quantity for quality. Hardwicke: Your honor, the defendants are serial con artists who've defrauded countless victims. Seaver: Then why isn't the gallery overflowing with 'em? Hardwicke: [turns to Jerry in the gallery] One is seated right there. Jerry Bullard. Seaver: You mean the man who's willingly paying for my client's defense. Hardwicke: That's irrelevant. Judge Andrews: Mr. Shankman, wanna pipe in here on behalf of your client? Shankman: Yes. Yes. My client would like to plead not guilty, your honor. Seaver: As does mine. Hardwicke: And the People request remand for both defendants, who have displayed quite a talent for trickery, coercion, and threats. Both use aliases, both lack community ties, and both are an extreme flight risk. Seaver: Your honor, I don't know about this other suspect, but my client has no history of violence and has never been charged with a crime. Doug: Uh, me, neither. I've never even been fingerprinted. Judge Andrews: Sir, if you have something to say, you need to say it through counsel. Doug: [about his attorney] But he's not sayin' anything. Hardwicke: Your honor, in addition to the charges before you, the defendants are also suspects in an out-of-state murder. It would be irresponsible to allow them to go... Judge Andrews: Are you asking for an extradition hold? Hardwicke: Well, no. Special Victims collected the defendants' DNA and sent it to Miami PD. But we're still awaiting confirmation. Judge Andrews: Then you're tap-dancing while I should be at lunch. Bail will be set for each defendant at $250,000. Both will surrender their passports. [bangs gavel] Cassandra: Doug is my twin. Do you even know that means? We share a soul. Ever since we came to be in our mother's womb, we've been together. We always will be. Benson: It's still incest. Stabler: Twin-cest. Totem [12.20] Professor: I was at work. Ask any of my students. Benson: Students? You were caught feeling up a 10-year-old. Professor: But I wasn't convicted. Benson: Still, I'm pretty shocked that Hudson University didn't fire you. Professor: They can't. I have tenure. Stabler: Welcome to the perv parade that leads to nowhere. June: I let my whole family be destroyed. How can I forgive myself? Cap: You can start by letting me help you try. Reparations [12.21] Fin: Hardwicke's in Miami at a Bar conference. Any idea who's our temporary ADA? Novak: How 'bout one back from the dead? [Casey Novak herself enters the squad room, to Stabler and Fin's surprise] Stabler: Casey Novak! Novak: Alive, and fairly well. [Novak tries to get the victim of a 47-year-old rape to testify] Novak: I know that reliving the rape is painful... Lorna: You don't know the meaning of the word! Have you ever been looked upon as something less than human? Denied service? Spit on? Beaten? Raped repeatedly? Bang [12.22] Ken: Why do you have such a hard-on for me? Stabler: 'Cause you can't keep yours out of unsuspecting women. Ken: C'mon, admit it, detective. You know you want to bang your partner. Watch her grow swollen with your child. And why not, man? She'd give you beautiful babies. Delinquent [12.23] [Hunter Mazelon has falsely accused Stabler of molesting him] Stabler: I don't touch children. I protect them. Captain Cragen: Do you need a remedial English course, Elliot? How do I make you understand the words "Stay away from Hunter Mazelon"? Stabler: Look, I thought he was stalking a new victim. Captain Cragen: Well, that might have helped your case if you hadn't been so ass-reamingly wrong. Hunter: Hey, speaking of family, do you have a sister who teaches here? Munch: No, why? Hunter: There's a calculus teacher who looks a lot like you. [menacing] Maybe I'll have her next year. Fin: Not where you're going. [loads him into a police car] Watch your head. Munch: Did he just threaten my hypothetical sister? Smoked [12.24] [The detectives arrest Ronson as he's cutting a customer's hair] Customer: But, he's not finished. When can I reschedule? Stabler: About 25 years. Greer: You're just going to let them arrest me? Greer's Boss: Oh, yes, and shake their hands when they're finished. External links Category:Law & Order: Special Victims Unit seasons