Euphoria (American TV series)/Season 1

Season 1 Specials 2 Main Euphoria (2019–present) is an American teen drama television series on HBO, created by Sam Levinson starring Zendaya. thumb|Every time I feel good, I think it'll last forever, but it doesn't. Pilot [1.01] Rue: [V.O.] I was once happy, content, sloshing around in my own private, primordial pool. Then one day, for reasons beyond my control, I was repeatedly crushed over and over by the cruel cervix of my mother, Leslie. I put up a good fight, but I lost, for the first time, but not the last. I was born three days after 9/11. My mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding me under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feelings of grief gave way to numbness. And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in an American suburb. ... Psychotherapist: [to Rue's parents] I'd say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder... Rue: [V.O.] It's not like I was physically abused or had a shortage of clean water or was molested by a family member. Psychotherapist: ...general anxiety disorder and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little young to tell. ... Rue: So, explain this shit to me. Leslie: Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired. Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting, and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with. Rue: Like who? Leslie: Uh... [sighs] Vincent Van Gogh. Sylvia Plath. And your favorite: Britney Spears. ... Rue: [V.O.] Until every second of every day, you find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety. And at some point, you make a choice about who you are and what you want. ... Rue: [V.O.] I just showed up one day, without a map or a compass. Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving an iota of good fucking advice. And I know it all may seem sad, but guess what? I didn't build this system, nor did I fuck it up. And then, it happens. That moment when your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have. And everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, and wish, and wanna forget, it all just sinks. And then suddenly you give it air again, give it life again. I remember the first time it happened to me, I got so scared I wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice... but I didn't wanna look like an idiot, and I didn't wanna fuck up everyone's night. And then over time, it's all I wanted. Those two seconds of nothingness. I spent a good portion of the summer before junior year in rehab. ... Rehab Girls: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rue: [V.O.] It was the end of summer, the week before school started. I had no intention of staying clean. And Jules had just moved to town. Fezco: [to Rue about Jules] There's some new girl in town that I think you gonna be friends with. Rue: Who? Fezco: Shit, I don’t know. She came in yesterday lookin' all Sailor Moon and shit. I'm thinkin' to myself, like, "Looks like somebody Rue would get along with." Rue: [V.O.] Which was sort of like a dead-on observation for Fezco, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth. Fezco: So, how long you been back? Rue: Five days. Fezco: And, like, how are you feelin'? Rue: I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good. Fezco: Word? That's what's up. Rue: Yeah, I'm fucking with you, Fez. It was a joke. Fezco: [chuckling] Shit. Hey, I don't judge. Rue: But low-key, is Ashtray in the back? Fezco: You serious? Rue: What, you think 'cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean? Fezco: I mean, ain't that the point? Rue: Yeah, well, the world's coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet. Rue: [V.O.] I know a lot of you probably hate me right now, and I get it. If I could be a different person, I promise you, I would. Not because I want it, but because they do. And therein lies the catch. Cal: How old are you? Jules: Twenty-two. [Cal offers her a drink] Thanks. Cal: Do you live in town? Jules: No. I'm just, visiting my grandparents. Cal: Hmm. Jules: What about you? Cal: Do you walk around like this? Jules: What do you mean? Cal: Well, this is how you look generally? Jules: I mean... Yeah. Cal: You're beautiful. Jules: Thank you. Cal: I'm envious of your generation, you know? You guys don't care as much about the rules. You know, I think that's a good thing. And I don't wanna be that old guy that gives you advice, but I look at you and I think there are... two versions of how your life can go. You can either go someplace, where you're wanted for who you are... or you can stay in a town like this. End up like me. Living your life out in motel rooms. Selfishly... I hope you stay. Rue: [V.O.] I was out back talking to Fezco when Jules arrived. Fezco: What the fuck, Rue? Rue: What? What, what, what, what? Fezco: Come on now, bruh. You owe me 120 bucks. Rue: My bad, man. I forgot. [Rue laughs and hands Fez her joint] Fezco: Shit, you know I ain't trippin'. [pause; smokes the joint] Well, to be honest with you, your whole drug shit got me feelin' kinda uneasy. Rue: Come on, don't go soft on me, Fez. Fezco: No, I'm not. It's just that... I like you. And I missed you, bruh. Like, that shit at the beginning of summer had me scared as fuck. Rue: Yeah, you and everybody else. Fezco: I'm serious, Rue. I've seen a lot of people die. None like you. Now, I don't know what type of fucked-up shit you got goin' inside your head. And I don't know how to help, but I could tell you one thing: This drug shit, it's not the answer. Rue: You know, I remember when I was eleven years old... It was a couple months after my dad got diagnosed, and we got the results back from the prognosis. And it was really good. It was like, 80/20. And we decided to celebrate, so... we, like, ordered a bunch of Chinese food. [chuckles] I remember that night, I was laying between my parents in bed, and... all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. It was like there was no more air left in the world. And I was gasping, and I was panicking. And they called the ambulance, and they thought it was like... an allergic reaction or some shit. And then, when I got to the hospital, they gave me liquid Valium. Yeah. To calm me down. And when it hit me, I thought... "This is it. This is the feeling I have been searching for my entire life, for as long as I could remember." Because suddenly... [beat] the world went quiet. And I felt safe in my own head. Two years later, he was gone. Panic attacks stayed. And I found a way to live, so... Will it eventually kill me? Maybe. Fuck, maybe not. I don't know. You still gonna be my dealer, Fez? Fezco: Shit. You a fuckin' trip, bruh. [Rue chuckles] I'm too high to be havin' this conversation right now. Rue: Yeah, man. Me, too. Me fucking too. [Nate enters the kitchen after watching his ex-girlfriend, Maddy, have sex with another guy in the pool. He quickly downs a tequila shot and angrily lashes out at the partygoers.] Nate: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN! FUCK! [calmly] Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. [pause; notices Jules staring at him] The fuck are you looking at? Who are you? Jules: I'm Jules. I'm a friend of... Nate: You're a friend of... A friend of whose? 'Cause you're not my fucking friend. Who the fuck are you friends with, Jules? Hmm? [to the partygoers] Do you guys know who the fuck this is? Does anybody know who this is? Yo, does anybody know who the fuck Jules is?! Anyone at all! You, do you know who the fuck Jules is?! [sharply inhales when no one responds; to Jules] So, who are you? Jules: I'm just minding my own business. I'm not trying to start anything. Nate: Well, no, you're not. [gets close to Jules] Nobody that looks like you is minding their own fucking business. [pause] I know what you are. Yeah. Yeah, I see you. So what do you want, huh? You want some fucking attention? 'Cause I'll give you some fucking attention. [pause; Jules looks away from him] Yo, is anybody here friends with Jules? Anyone? Does anybody know who the fuck this bitch is? Yo, somebody better speak up, or this bitch is gonna get fucked up! [Jules picks up a knife, causing Nate to slowly back away from her] Nate: Shit. Oh, no. No, no, no... Jules: YOU WANNA FUCKING HURT ME?! Nate: No, I was fucking kidding! Jules: BACK THE FUCK UP! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! Nate: Put the fucking knife down, okay? It was a joke. It was a– Jules: YOU WANNA FUCKING HURT ME?! Nate: No, no, no. Jules: You have no fucking idea! [Jules cuts her left arm with the knife] Nate: Jesus fucking Christ, you're a psycho! Jules: I'm fucking invincible! [smears blood on Nate's shoulder] Nate: You're a fucking freak! What the fuck?! [Nate leaves the kitchen in a hurry. Jules realizes everyone is staring at her and lowers her arm.] Jules: ...By the way, I'm Jules. I just moved here. Stuntin' Like My Daddy [1.02] Rue: [V.O.] When Nate Jacobs was eleven years old, he found his dad's porn collection. His dad, Cal, was obsessive. His mom always said that's who he got it from. Then, he quickly realized that the colored cases and placement were no accident. It was an elaborate code, that no one fucked with his shit. Every video was basically the same. They'd drink, make small talk... and then his dad would fuck the shit out of some... Cal: Fucking whore. Fucking slut. ... Rue: [V.O.] He made a long mental checklist of the things he liked and disliked about women. He liked tennis skirts and jean cut-offs, but not the kind so short you could see the pockets. He liked ballet flats and heels. He hated sneakers and dress shoes... but was fine with sandals as long as they were worn with a fresh pedicure. He liked thigh gaps, hated cankles. He liked tan lines, long necks, slender shoulders. He liked good posture and fruit-scented body mist. He liked full lips, and small noses. He liked chokers, but the lacy ones with flower cutouts or delicate patterns. He hated girls who sat like boys, talked like boys, acted like boys. But there was nothing on planet Earth he hated more than body hair. That's one of the first things he noticed about Maddy. She was basically hairless. He'd walk her home from school every day. Made him feel good to know that he was there to protect her. He knew the world was full of men who wanted to hurt Maddy. Men who hang out the windows of their cars and scream obscenities at her. College guys who wouldn't think twice about drugging her. Lonely guys who'd spot her at a mall. Men who'd rape her, torture her, sell her into sexual slavery. He didn't even like to think about it. He did, however, like to think about the things he'd do to protect her. Nate: If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I'd kill them. Maddy: You're, like, the sweetest guy ever. Rue: [V.O.] He also liked that Maddy was a virgin, that no guy had ever put his penis in her. Nate: You're a virgin? Maddy: Yeah. Nate: Like, fully? Maddy: Yeah. Nate: What about like... Have you ever been fingered? Maddy: Only my own. Rue: [V.O.] It was the first day of school, and my heart was racing. I made a new best friend and for the first time since getting out of rehab, I was feeling good about the world. [to Jules] I've got an idea. Jules: What? Rue: [holds up two pills] Wanna get high? Jules: What is it? Rue: No idea. Jules: Didn't you just get out of rehab? Rue: Yeah. Jules: Should I be concerned? Rue: Maybe. Jules: I feel like this isn't a good idea. Rue: I kinda disagree. [Later, Rue and Jules are lying down together after taking the pills] Jules: Rue. Rue: Do you feel anything? Jules: Do you feel anything? [pause] Rue, what's wrong? Rue: Just so happy. [V.O.] I know you're not allowed to say it... but drugs are kinda cool. I mean, they're cool before they wreck your skin... and your life... and your family. That's when they get uncool. It's actually a very narrow window of cool. And once you pass through that window of cool... [to Jules] It's just embarrassing. I feel like everyone knows. Jules: Rue, I don't wanna turn this into a competition, but, like, I win. For, like, a multitude of reasons. Rue: I just... I don't wanna deal with all the fucking questions. Jules: I still win. Lexi: You're being fucking rude. Rue: Fuck. Lexi: Rue, it's me. Are you okay? Rue: You are so fucking stupid, Lexi. Lexi: Why? Rue: 'Cause I already flushed everything down the fucking toilet. Lexi: Well, I just came to check on you. Rue: I don't want–I don't want you to fucking check on me, whether I'm fine or I'm not fine. What difference are you gonna make? Are–Are you gonna give me life advice? You gonna fucking help me? Lexi: Well, you're one of my best friends. Rue: Give me a fucking break. 'Cause we went to fucking pre-school together? That does not make us best fucking friends. Lexi: You say all this, but what happens in three days when you knock on my door asking me to piss in some Tylenol bottle? What, you're gonna say the opposite? How we've known each other since pre-school and we're best friends? It's like you have a split personality disorder. Sorry if I miss the old you. Rue: [V.O.] I used to take care of my dad after school because my mom had to take a second job to cover the medical bills. A state-issued nurse would come by every day for two hours, and she'd, legit, just play Candy Crush on her phone. But, anyway, the point is, he had, like, a bunch of pills. He was too out of it to know I was high. [Fez hears his walkie talkie buzz while counting cash] Fezco: Yo, who is it, man? Ashtray: Rue. Fezco: Nah, bro. Tell her to come back later. Rue: Yo. Too late, bitch. Fezco: Hold on, hold on. You can't be in here right now. Rue: I see you, cash money. Fezco: Nah, nah. Rue: I need some OCs and some socks. Fezco: I can't help you right now. You gotta go. [Rue ignores Fez and walks into his bedroom] Fezco: Yo, for real, Rue. I ain't fuckin' playin' with you. [pause] Come on. You can't be in here. Rue: Look, Fez. I'm fucking drenched, okay? And, uh... I'm out of drugs, so... don't be a dick. Fezco: Oh, my God. That's not my fuckin' problem! You gotta get up outta my house right now before these motherfuckers come through. For real. Rue: All I need is a couple OCs, and some xannies. That's all I need, and I can be gone. Fezco: Yo, I'm tryin' to tell you, I don't got shit right now. Like... Come back in a few hours, I got you, whatever you need. But right now, you gotta get the fuck up outta my house. Rue: I know you have something, Fez. Fezco: I'm tellin' you I don't got shit for you, bruh! Come on! [Rue walks out of his bedroom] I need you out the house right now! My guy's about to come through, and I don't want you here when he gets here, you understand? Rue: [sighs; lays on Fez's couch] Give me drugs. Fezco: This is dead serious. Yo, Rue. [Fez's phone starts vibrating. Rue looks up from the couch as Fez glares at her] Fezco: [beat] I could fuckin' kill you right now. [to Ashtray on his walkie talkie] Yo, Ash, they're here. [Fez grabs a couple cash bundles and pulls out a gun hidden between the couch cushions. He checks the magazine before loading and cocking the gun.] Fezco: Look, I'm serious, Rue. Just stay right there, keep your mouth shut, and be cool. These dudes ain't fuckin' around. Rue: [V.O.] Now, I'm not gonna lie... that's when I started to get a little scared. I mean, I'm all good with drugs until guns start coming out. Made You Look [1.03] Rue: [V.O.] Real love is when you can't exist without someone, when you'd rather die than be apart, and the whole world goes dark, and nothing else matters but the person standing in front of you. Rue: [V.O.] The summer before high school she started writing fan fiction. By the year's end, she had become one of the most prolific smut writers on Tumblr. She was known for her AU crossovers and her consistent NC-17 ratings. But what made her famous was her story, "The First Night," a 7,000-word fic' that was largely credited with starting the "Larry Stylinson" conspiracy theory. That Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction were secretly fucking. Rue: Hey, I'm Rue. I'm an addict. Crowd: Hi, Rue. Rue: And I've been clean for 60 days. [V.O.] For the record, I'm not not telling the truth. I've actually been doing really well. Because the morning after that whole drug-dealer-face-tattoo fentanyl excursion, I... got in a little bit of trouble... for disappearing for, like, 16 hours. [Rue finds her mother sitting at the dining room table while trying to sneak back into her house] Leslie: Where have you been? Rue: I'm sorry. My phone died. Leslie: Bullshit. You're doing drugs. Rue: I'm not doing drugs. Leslie: Then where have you been? And why weren't you answering your phone? Why are you sneaking into the house? Rue: I was with someone. Leslie: Who? Rue: It... It doesn't matter, Mom. Leslie: It matters, Rue. It matters. You're doing drugs. [sees Gia walking out of her bedroom] Gia, go back to sleep. Gia: Rue, are you... Are you okay? Rue: I'm fine. You can go back to sleep. Leslie: She's okay, baby, okay? Go to bed. Good night. [to Rue after Gia leaves] I will not allow you to walk up into this house at 5:30 in the morning and lie to my face. So tell me the truth right now. Where were you? Rue: I don't wanna have to tell you everything that's going on in my life. If you wanna drug test me, just drug test me. [V.O.] She wasn't the only person upset with me. [Cut to Rue hanging out with Jules] Jules: I'm not kidding, Rue. I'm not trying to become best friends with someone who's gonna fucking kill themself. Rue: I know. I didn't mean to do this. Jules: I've been through, like... enough traumatic shit in my life that I don't... I can't, like– Rue: I get it. I get it. Jules: I don't wanna be around you if you don't stop using drugs. Rue: Okay. Jules: I mean it. Rue: I know. I'll stop. I promise. I just need you to do me a favor. You're not gonna like it. [Cut to Leslie performing a drug test in the bathroom with Rue. Unbeknownst to her, she is testing Jules' urine, which causes the test to come out negative.] Leslie: You're still grounded until I don't even fucking know. Rue: What else is there? I told you I wasn't lying. Maddy: Do you think people are, like, one hundred percent straight? Or one hundred percent gay? Kat: No, 'cause obviously there's, like, bi people, asexual, pan. Sexuality is like a spectrum, you know? Maddy: Yeah. Totally. Kat: Why? Maddy: I don't know. Do you think straight guys ever, like, watch gay porn? Kat: Not if they're a hundred percent straight. Maddy: You just said it's a spectrum. Kat: Yeah, on either side of the spectrum is gay and straight. Maddy: I fucking hate this. Kat: Is this about Nate? Maddy: No. He's, like, super straight. Kat: Is it about your dad? Maddy: No. Kat: It would explain why they're fighting. Maddy: It's not about any guy that I know. Kat: All I know is that most guys are, like, weird, gross, and fucking pathetic. Ali: Yo. Sixty days, no small feat. Rue: Thanks. Ali: Very moving share. Rue: Thank you. Ali: Can I ask you something? How'd you survive that OD? Rue: What do you mean? Ali: I mean, somebody had to save your life, right? Rue: It was my sister. Ali: Aw, man. Older or younger? Rue: Younger. [pause] I have to get home, so... Ali: Like 12, 13? Rue: I don't really understand what the point... Ali: Curiosity. Rue: Yeah, she was 13. Ali: That's some heavy shit. But hey, we've all done some bad shit in our lives, right? Comes with the territory. But, man, now you just got me thinking about... what that does to a 13-year-old. A 13-year-old kid who finds her big sister overdosed. What that moment must do to somebody. How it affects the rest of their lives, you know? How it affects their ability to trust. Leaves it hard for them to get close to people. You know, relationships. Makes it hard for them to fall in love. Living with the fear that at any moment, the rug can be ripped out from under them and they lose everything. Especially the people that they love. You ever think about that? [pause] Yeah, probably fucked up for life. But hey, you're gonna have to make peace with that. Just like you're gonna have to make peace with the fact that you could be responsible for some shit like that, and then get up in front of a whole group of people who are struggling with the same issues, and lie about being clean. You know what I'm saying? Rue: I don't know what you're talking about. Ali: Listen, youngblood. You're playing pool with Minnesota Fats. Rue: Who's Minnesota Fats? Ali: The greatest motherfucking pool player that ever lived. Rue: [chuckles] Okay. Ali: I'm Ali. Let me know when you wanna stop trying to kill yourself and eat some pancakes. [Fez hears someone pounding on his door] Fezco: Who is it? Rue: It's me. Open the door. Fezco: Fuck. [He sees Rue when he opens the door] Fezco: [sighs] Not today, Rue. Sorry. Rue: Come on, man. Don't be a dick. Fezco: Nah, I'm serious. You can't come in. Rue: Look, man. All I need is just, like, a few OCs. That's all. Fezco: Sorry, I can't help you. Rue: Fez. Fez, I've had a really fucked-up day, alright? It's been a really, really fucked-up day, okay? So I need you to open the door for me, okay? Can you open the door? Please? Fezco: [pause; shakes his head] I'm not gonna help you kill yourself, Rue. I'm sorry, but you can't be comin' over here no more. Just go home. Rue: Don't... Fez! Don't close the... [Fez closes the door on her] Fuck! Fez, open the fucking door, please? I'm begging you just to open the door. [pause; Fez just stands still with his back to the door] Fez! You're full of shit, man! You know, you make your living off of selling drugs to teenagers. And now all of a sudden, you wanna have a fucking moral high ground? You're a fucking dropout drug dealer, you know that?! You're a fucking drug dealer with seven functioning fucking brain cells! [knocks angrily on the door] OPEN THE DOOR! Fuck you! Fuck you, Fez, okay? Are you doing this because you care about me?! If you gave a shit about me, you wouldn't have sold me the fucking drugs in the first place! But you did! You fucking did! So open the goddamn door! Open the door! Fezco: I can't do it, Rue. I'm sorry. Rue: Open the door! Open the door! [tearfully] Open the door. [holds back sob] You did this to me! You fucking... You did this to me, Fez. You fucking ruined my life! The least you could do is open the goddamn door and fix it! I'm fucking serious. I'm so fucking serious. If you don't open this door right now, I swear to God... I will hate you, till the day I fucking die! Fezco: I'm sorry. [walks away from the door] Rue: [screams] YOU FUCKING DID THIS TO ME! Open the fucking door! [bangs on the door repeatedly] Open the door, Fez! Come on, man! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Shook Ones, Pt. II [1.04] Allan: Are you making any friends? Jules: Not really. Allan: Well, that'll change. Rue: [V.O.] By 13, she started to transition. And by 16, Jules had gotten a little slutty. And every guy was the same: Cis, white, married, engaged, in long-term relationships. Some were sweet, some were weird, and a few were aggressive. And whenever anything got too uncomfortable... Jules would just imagine that she wasn't really herself, and this wasn't really her life. She was just a character in a book or a movie or a show. That none of it was real, and if it was, how did it matter? It's not like her body ever really belonged to her in the first place. But fuck it. She'd save it for the memoirs. 'Cause that was the night she met her new best friend. And although she had never really been in a relationship or even in, like, love, she imagined spending the rest of her life with her. How they'd live together in some shitty New York apartment, and maybe date other people, but always sleep in the same bed. She even said it to her once, which was probably a mistake for, like, a lot of reasons. Plus, that was before she fell for Tyler. Like, hard. Like, really hard. Maddy: You're not having fun? Cassie: No. Maddy: Yeah, me neither. You wanna do molly? [They walk up to Fez and Ashtray's pretzel truck] Ashtray: Welcome to Pretzelmania, can I take your order? [pause] How many pretzels do you want? Maddy: We don't eat carbs. Cassie: Two, please. Ashtray: That'll be forty. [Maddy and Cassie each give Ashtray twenty bucks in exchange for two ounces of ecstasy] Cassie: So, you think Nate's cheating on you? Maddy: I don't know. He's just been acting super-weird lately. Cassie: Have you gone through his phone? Maddy: I've never not gone through someone's phone. Cassie: Bitch, you're my soulmate. Maddy: Yo, what's going on with you and McKay? I thought you two were in love. Cassie: Nate asked McKay if were were in a relationship, and McKay said that we were just chillin'. Maddy: What? Cassie: Yeah. Maddy: Honestly, fuck them both. Cassie: Right? [Later, they watch the Jacobs family at their chili cook-off tent after taking the molly] Maddy: Honestly, fuck that whole family. Cassie: For real. Maddy: 'Cause right now I'm looking at a thousand versions of myself, and not only do I look good, I fucking feel good. Cassie: It's a bitch. Maddy: So, if they've got something to say, they should just say it to my face, right? Cassie: Or you could just say it to their fucking face. Maddy: Right? Cassie: That's what I would do. [pause] I feel like this is a turning point. Maddy: Totally. Cassie: We should just pick the hottest, most confident, bad bitch version of ourselves, and be that for the rest of the school year. [Jules and Rue come across the Jacobs' chili tent while walking around the carnival grounds] Jules: Oh, my fucking God. Rue: What? Jules: That's him. Rue: Who? Jules: The guy. Rue: What guy? Jules: The one from the motel. Rue: Okay, what guy are we looking at, exactly? Jules: [points at Cal] Okay, the one in the apron, serving the chili. I swear to God. Rue: No fucking way. Jules, do you know who that is? Jules: Yeah, the guy from the motel. Rue: That's Cal Jacobs. Jules: Who's that? Rue: Nate Jacobs' dad. Jules: That's Nate's dad?! Rue: Yes, that's Nate's dad. Jules: No fucking way! Rue: Yes, fucking way. You're full of shit. Jules: No way! Rue: You're full of shit. Do you–Do you know who he is? He fucking owns half this town. He built it. All the apartment buildings past Kemper, they're his. Jules: Rue, I swear to God. Rue: There's no way. Jules: That's the guy I fucked! Rue: There's no way. Bullshit. Jules: I'm being a hundred percent serious. You–You don't believe me? Rue: No, actually. I don't. Jules: Okay. Watch. [Jules walks towards the tent and approaches Cal] Jules: Excuse me, sir. Cal: [turns around] Hmm... [pause; looks at Jules uncomfortably] Hi. Can I help you? Jules: Uh, can I please have a small cup of chili? Cal: Yeah, sure. [Cal's hands start shaking as he scoops chili into a cup. He accidentally drops it as he hands it to Jules.] Cal: Oh, shoot. Sorry. [Jules turns to look at Rue, who looks utterly surprised] Jules: Uh, it–it's okay. It was my fault. Cal: I'll get you another cup. Marsha: Hi. It's two dollars. All the proceeds go to the football team. Jules: Uh... cool. [gives Marsha two dollar bills] Marsha: Thank you. [Jules looks over at Rue, whose eyes are now wide in shock. Rue notices Cal staring at her and turns around. She does a double take and glances quickly at Jules before walking away.] Jules: [beat; takes chili cup] Thanks. [Jules walks off to catch up with Rue. Nate is revealed to have been watching the awkward interaction between Cal and Jules from the back of the tent with his brother, Aaron.] Aaron: Yo, Nate, who was that? Nate: Her name's Jules. She's new here. Aaron: She goes to East Highland? Nate: Yeah. She's a junior. Aaron: Damn, that's jailbait. That's too bad. ... Jules: [to Rue] Why the fuck did you let me do that?! Rue: I didn't let you do that! You just fucking... did it. You went over there and you did it. Jules: Did you see that his hands were fucking shaking? Rue: Yes, and then he dropped... Jules: And then, he fucking dropped the chili! Oh, my God! Rue: The chili! Oh, he dropped the fucking chili. And then he–And then you looked at me. Jules: Yeah, because I was screaming inside. Rue: Yeah, well, that made him fucking look at me! He looked at me in the fucking eyes! Jules: Ugh, I feel so bad. That was literally the meanest thing I've ever done. Announcer: And this year's winner of the chili cook-off is... Cal Jacobs! Make it six years and running! [Nate sees Maddy slow-clapping in the crowd and rolls his eyes] Maddy: Yeah, I'm not supposed to be here right now because I'm dressed like a hooker, and none of you like me, but I just wanted to say congratulations. Nate: Maddy, get out of– [Maddy knocks over the chili pot] Maddy: Oops. Marsha: What in God's name is your problem?! Maddy: You, cunt. [Nate grabs Maddy by the arm and angrily drags her away] Nate: I'm not gonna let you fucking embarrass me like that again, I swear to fucking God. [Maddy just giggles] Shut the fuck up! I'm fucking done with you! I'm so fucking done with you! Maddy: [laughing] Yeah, what else is new? Nate: I'm not fucking joking! Maddy: Yeah, fucking right. Nate: Calling my mom a cunt? What the fuck is actually wrong with your fucking brain? Maddy: I think you're overreacting. [Nate suddenly slams Maddy against a trailer and closes his hand around her neck] Nate: You're fucking dead to me. Fuck you. [starts walking away] Maddy: I do have one question though. Nate: Yo, what? [Later, Nate has no response when Maddy asks him about the dick pics on his phone] Maddy: I'm just saying, as your girlfriend, those pictures are a little suspicious. Nate: It's not what it looks like. Maddy: Yeah? Well, then explain to me why you have someone else's dick in your phone. Nate: It's really fucking complicated. Maddy: How many reasons could there be? Nate: I can't explain it to you right now. Maddy: What does that mean? Nate: Look, I'm going through a lot of shit right now. I need... I just–I need you to promise me that you're not gonna tell a soul. Maddy: I am not gonna tell anyone, I promise. Nate: Like, on your life. Maddy: Yeah, on my life. Nate: I'm sorry I got so angry at you before. I am sorry. [pause; reaches his hand out to Maddy] I'm sorry. [Maddy walks over to Nate and takes his hand] Nate: I love you. Maddy, I love you. [Nate pulls Maddy close to him and they embrace] Nate: I got a lot of sh... a lot of shit going on right now and I'm really confused. I don't know what to do. [Jules sees a tall male figure approaching her, thinking that it's Tyler] Jules: Hey... Tyler? [Jules realizes to her horror that the man is Nate as he gets closer to her] Jules: No... No. [turns around to walk away] Nate: No, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not... I'm not here to hurt you. [grabs Jules' arm] I know that you have these ideas about me based on the first time that we met, and I understand that... but I'm not the person that you met that night. Jules: Can you let go of me? [Nate lets go of Jules and follows her as she walks over to a lake] Nate: You know, over the past few weeks... I've spent... every moment of every day getting to know you. At night... I fall asleep to you. And in the morning... I wake up to you. I kinda feel closer to you than I do to anyone in the whole world. Jules: [tearfully] I don't trust you, Nate. Nate: I don't trust you either. [Jules steps back, but stops when Nate wipes away her tears. He leans down and kisses her.] Nate: [softly] Open your mouth. Jules: Nate... Nate: Wider. Jules: [pause; Nate sticks his thumb in her mouth] Nate. Nate, stop. Nate: God, are you broken inside. And that's precisely why I don't trust you. [pause] Because you're so broken you don't even trust yourself. And that's scary. Not just for you... but for me and for my entire family. [Jules' phone starts vibrating] I wouldn't answer that. You're gonna wanna hear this. Over the last three weeks, you have knowingly produced and distributed child pornography. Including obscene images that were taken on school property. I've compiled all these photos, along with an IP address, and an account that's linked to your name. I don't know if you're familiar with child pornography laws in this state... but they apply to minors just as they apply to adults. Jules: I sent them to you. Nate: No, you sent them to an account of a person that doesn't fucking exist. And I mean, anyone can anonymously report child pornography, right? Jules: [shakes her head] Then, I'd tell them everything. Nate: Okay. You could do that, but um... here's what would definitely happen. You'd end up on a sex offender list. It means no more college. It's gonna be very fucking difficult to find a job. And everywhere you go for the rest of your life, you'll be harassed, and spat at, and treated like a fucking animal. You deserve better than that, 'cause I know you. You're kind. You're smart, you're generous. You got a big heart. You deserve whatever the fuck it is in this world that you want. So keep your head down. Keep your mouth shut. Don't try to ruin my life, and I won't have to ruin yours. Jules: You know what I think? I think you're a fucking faggot, just like your daddy. [Nate grabs Jules by her hair and pulls her close to him. He softly chuckles as they stare each other down.] Nate: ...You have a nice night. [Rue hears Jules tap on her bedroom window and slides it open] Rue: Hey. Jules: Do you think I could sleep over? Rue: Yeah. Yeah, of course. Come on. [Rue helps Jules enter through the window. Jules sits on the floor and unzips her backpack.] Rue: [beat] Is everything okay? Um... Here. [offers her shirt to Jules after she undresses] So how'd the date go with Tyler? Jules: Um... He didn't look like his picture. [Rue hugs Jules and they get into bed together] === 03 Bonnie and Clyde [1.05] === Rue: [V.O.] But honestly, the best thing I've ever had is fentanyl. There's not a thing on planet Earth that compares to Fentanyl. Except Jules. Jules is a close second. Jules. Jules. Jules. Jules. And you know what would be better? Jules and fentanyl. But I can't do both, because Jules won't have me. So for now, I'll choose Jules. Rue: Okay. One, what was that about? Two, can we talk about the fact that you fucked Nate's dad? Jules: Rue, swear to God, like on your life that you will never tell anyone. Rue: That you fucked Nate's dad? Jules: I'm serious. This is like... Even if you decide you hate me one day. Like, you can never tell anyone. Rue: Why would I ever hate you? Jules: That's not the point. Seriously, this is some "go to your grave" shit. Rue: I promise. Do you think Nate knows? Jules: No. Why would Nate know? Rue: I don't know, you went up to the chili booth at the carnival. Did he look like he knew? Jules: No. Like, literally I didn't even notice. Rue: Nate's scary. The whole fucking family is scary. Jules: I... don't wanna have this conversation. Rue: [pause] You know what'd be amazing? If they paid you off with a bunch of money, and then we'd do a bunch of really cool shit. Jules: Rue, this is not a joke. Rue: [V.O.] I don't know why Jules didn't trust me. Or why she'd think I'd ever hate her. There's literally nothing in the world that Jules could do to make me upset. I even told her that. Jules: Yeah, right. Rue: No, for real. It's true. Kat: [V.O.] What I realized is that, like, my whole life, all I’ve tried to do is take up less space. Tried to hide from guys who might whisper to their friend under their breath as I walked by. I spent my whole life afraid people were gonna find out that I was fat. But honestly, who gives a shit? There's nothing more powerful than a fat girl who doesn't give a fuck.[Cassie tells McKay about Nate's dick pics]Cassie: He had a bunch of dick pics on his phone. McKay: And was like what? Sending them to other girls? Cassie: No. McKay, it wasn't his dick. It was other guys' dicks. McKay: I'm confused. Who told you this?[Cut to Cassie on the phone with Maddy]Maddy: What dick pics? Cassie: The ones you told me about, on his phone. Maddy: I don't know if your brain is all scrambled from all the molly you took, but I never said that. If you ever spread a lie like that, I will fucking come for you.[Cut back to Cassie on the bed with McKay]McKay: We good? Cassie: [pause] Yeah. McKay: Anyway, look, Cassie. I'm really sorry about what happened the other night at the carnival. Cassie: It's okay. McKay: No, I should've said something to Nate. Cassie: It just really hurt my feelings. I mean, I feel like you weren't proud to be my boyfriend. McKay: Cass... Give me a kiss. [Cassie gets close to him and they kiss] I'm proud to be your boyfriend, trust me. Cassie: I'm sorry, too. McKay: What do you have to sorry about? Ali: Those are the moments that keep me up at night. Thinking about all the times that I ignored that voice in my head. You know, they told me, "What are you doing?" And what happens a month, six months, a year, when she moves away, and goes to college? When she tells you she just wants to be friends? Rue: You mean “if.” Ali: No, Rue, I mean “when.” Rue: I mean, I don't know. We talked about living together. Like, if she goes to school in New York, I'll just go with her. I'll go anywhere she goes. Ali: I think you're missing my point, Rue. Nothing in high school lasts forever. Rue: [V.O.] Maddy wasn't doing well. Over the course of the last five days, Maddy had sent Nate a total of 273 text messages. None of which he answered. Plus, everyone in her life was against her. Sonia: [in Spanish] It's not real love, Maddy. Maddy: Who the fuck are you to judge?! Sonia: [in Spanish] Don't swear! Maddy: Seriously, Mom. Dad has slept on the couch since I was ten years old. Sonia: [in Spanish] Don't be cruel, Maddy! Maddy: I'm not! I'm just saying, love is a million things. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes it doesn't. The one thing I know is that Nate loves me no matter what. He'd fucking kill for me, and I'd kill for him! It feels good to know that there's one person in this whole fucked up world who has my back! You think I want this?! You live in the same house and you don't even say one word to each other! That's the difference between me and you! Sonia: [in Spanish] You're right. I felt the exact same way about every person I ever dated! The same! The Next Episode [1.06] Kat: I think I'm gonna get really fucked up tonight. Jules: Same. Kat: [chuckling] Cool. Rue: [V.O.] The only other time I'd ever seen Jules drink was the night of McKay's party. It's not like I'm a drag and want everyone to be sober around me. It's just, something felt off. Kat: Tequila makes me aggressive. Jules: [groans] Tequila makes me wanna dance. Rue: I–I once took, like, ten Vicodin, and drank an entire thing of tequila, and then I, like, blacked out for three days. But while I was blacked out, I still went to school and did homework and shit. It was really weird. Kat: Well, let's not do that tonight. Rue: I won't. I'm... I'm clean, so we're good. [chuckles]Jules: Wait a minute. I was supposed to be your chaperone... but now I'm drunk. Rue: I don't, like, actually need a chaperone. Jules: Oops. Ethan: Can I ask you a question? Kat: Sure. Ethan: Like, um... What happened the night of the carnival? 'Cause I feel like it felt like we were, like, having a lot of fun when we were, like, hanging out. And then you just kinda, like, disappeared. Kat: What is, like, your weird fascination with me? I don't get it. Ethan: What? I don't have a weird fascination with you. Kat: Okay. Say we hung out that night. And then what? Ethan: Um, I... I don't know. And then we would, like, hang out again. Kat: Ethan, why would we hang out again? Ethan: 'Cause we, like, enjoyed hanging out? Kat: Ethan, if you want me to suck your dick or fuck you, just say it, but... stop acting like we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend, because the chances of that happening are, like, literally zero. Fezco: Hey, what's up, kid? Rue: Hey, man. Uh, look, I owe you an apology. Fezco: Nah, come on, now. We're good. Rue: Bro. Man, I... I said some really fucked-up shit I didn't mean. Fezco: Listen, Rue. You a drug addict. I don't take nothin' a drug addict says personally, 'cause I don't believe nothin' a drug addict say. I love you, I hate you. You the best, go fuck yourself. It's all the same shit, you know what I'm sayin'? Y'all just lookin' for an angle in. Rue: Yeah, I know, but... As your friend, I need you to know that I'm sorry. And I love you. Fezco: I love you, too, kid. Rue: And thank you for not... selling me drugs. Fezco: As your friend, I got you. You sober? Rue: [exhales] Yeah. Fezco: And how's that? Rue: You know, it's weird. I've been fucked up so long that it kind of feels like a new drug. Fezco: I feel you. Rue: The highs are high, but the... The lows are low. Fezco: [to Rue] Yo, ain't that your homegirl right there?[Rue sees Jules drunkenly stumble and fall into the pool]Rue: Jules, what are you doing? Jules: [starts reciting Romeo and Juliet] Although I joy in thee, I have no joy in this contract tonight. Rue: What are you talking about? I don't know what that means. Jules: It's too rash. Too unadvised. Too sudden. Too like the light in which thou doth cease to breathe. Rue: Jules, you're drunk, okay? And you sound like an idiot. Can you please get out of the pool? Jules: 'Ere one can say "it lightens." Sweet, good night! This bud of love by summer's ripening breath may prove a beauteous flower when we next meet. Rue: [V.O.] And maybe Ali was right about Jules. 'Cause this doesn't feel good. [to Jules] Stop, okay. Can you stop? Stop. Stop! S-Stop, Jules! [V.O.] I just wish she'd told me about last night. The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed [1.07] Rue: [V.O.] The thought of having to stand up, exert 172 muscles each step for 35 feet, just so I can sit on cold porcelain and piss out toxins over and over again for the rest of my life makes the whole concept of living feel like one long, sadistic joke. But the absolute worst part of depression is that even though you know you're depressed, you're unable to stop yourself from getting worse. Lexi: Why would Jules lie to help Nate? Rue: I don't know. Lexi: Well, have you asked her about it? Rue: No. Lexi: You haven't asked her? Rue: No. [V.O.] Keep looking, you mook. I'm Morgan fucking Freeman and this is the beginning of the third act. Lexi: Well, doesn't that seem like the first logical step? Rue: Honestly, Howard, this whole thing is beyond logic. Unless... Jules is in love with Nate. Lexi: Why would Jules be in love with Nate? Rue: You should listen to me. [waves cigarette in front of Lexi] Lexi: Bennett, the cigarettes are killing me! Rue: Listen. Listen, the night of the carnival, she said she wanted to go meet up with this guy she met online, okay? He's some fucking jock, he's from a conservative family, and they were talking and texting. They've been texting for weeks. And when I say texting, I don't just mean regular fucking texting. They were sexting. [lights another cigarette] Lexi: Like nudes? Rue: Yeah. Side note... Very nice dick, very clean room. Lexi: Huh. Rue: She never fucking saw his face. Lexi: Yeah, so Jules is catfished. Rue: Now hear me out. So the night of the carnival, she made plans with this guy to meet up with him at the lake, okay? I fucking go home. Next thing I know, [taps on the wall] she's fucking knocking at my window. She's all emotional, she's got fucking tears in her eyes. I say, "Jules, what the fuck happened?" She looks at me, she goes... "He didn't look like his pictures." Lexi: Yeah, that's like, the definition of catfishing. Rue: No, but do you know what his name was? Lexi: Nate Jacobs? Rue: Tyler. Lexi: Like, Tyler Clarkson? Rue: [pause; points her cigarette at Lexi] You're goddamn right. Maddy is 17, Tyler's 22, and they fornicated. Lexi: Statutory. Rue: Yeah, you saw it, I saw it. We all fucking saw it. Lexi: Including Nate. Rue: And what is a lighter offense than statutory? Lexi: Assault. Rue: Bingo![Cut to Rue in her house walking to the kitchen to make coffee]Leslie: Rue, are you pouring coffee in the water filter? Rue: Yes, I am. Leslie: Instead of water? Rue: Yes, I am. Leslie: Well, please, don't do that. And it's late. You shouldn't be drinking caffeine. Rue: Mom, please. I have homework. Leslie: [slightly taken aback] Well, there's a sentence I never thought I'd hear. Rue: ...Will you let me know when this is ready?[Rue calls Lexi in the middle of the night while smoking a cigarette in her bedroom]Lexi: Hello? Rue: Howard, it's Bennett. Lexi: It's 2:45 in the morning. Don't you ever sleep? Rue: Listen, why would Nate single out Jules in the first place? It's obvious he was sexually attracted to her. [Rue arranges several photographs of Nate and Jules in a scattered circle on the floor] Rue: And because Jules is predominantly het, okay–He wooed her with his fucking creepy jock magic shit, she's super fucking sensitive, she's very forgiving, and she's basically the most wonderful fucking person on the planet... she fell for him. That's why she fucking testified. [laughs] I'm a genius. I'm a fucking genius. Hey, Mom! I'm a fucking genius! [to Lexi] I'm not even tired. It's crazy. I'm not even fucking tired. I feel amazing. Lexi: I'll be honest with you, Bennett. You're too close to this case.[Rue gets offended when Lexi hangs up on her. She slams the phone down and sits in the center of her photo circle on the floor. Cut to Lexi in the bedroom she shares with Cassie.]Cassie: Who was that? Lexi: Rue. I think she's in, like, a manic state. Cassie: Is she okay? Lexi: I don't think so. Kat: [to Cassie] I don't know what you're gonna say, but this feels like... really dramatic. BB: Yeah, this is spooky. Cassie: It is not spooky, BB. I just–I need your advice on, like, two things. And I need you guys to promise me not to say a single fucking word. So, the night of Daniel's Halloween party, something happened....Maddy: Wait, am I hearing this correctly? You wanna tell McKay that you made out with Daniel at the carnival and on Halloween? Cassie: Yeah, but, I don't... I don't have to say it's Daniel. Maddy: Bitch, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard. [looks over at Kat and BB] Right? BB: For sure. Cassie: Yeah, but I wanna be honest with him. Maddy: You cannot tell McKay. Cassie: But it's not like I cheated-cheated. Maddy: Kissing is worse. It's so much more intimate. And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny. Cassie: Okay, but, I just don't want there to be something this bad between us forever. Kat: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever. Maddy: Kat, what the fuck is your problem? You're being a bad friend now. You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable. BB: World Star! Kat: Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times? Maddy: It was literally the lowest point in my life, so yeah. That and the fact that you're just fucking mean. Kat: Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you talk about is yourself. Your clothes, your boyfriends, whatever superficial shit you think is so fucking important. Sorry I'm no longer interested. Maddy: I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat. You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a fucking cunt?[Kat starts crying and leaves the room]BB: [beat] Damn. Lexi: [to Cassie] What was the other thing? Cassie: What other thing? Lexi: You said you needed advice on two things. Cassie: I don't remember. What would you do? Lexi: Um, I don't know. I've never really been in a situation where two guys have been interested in me. Cassie: That's 'cause you're shy. Lexi: I guess so, but I've also never been in a situation where I've been interested in two guys. Cassie: That's also 'cause you're shy. Lexi: Maybe. Cassie: But if you were in my situation, what would you do? Lexi: Honestly, I don't think I would say anything. Cassie: What if not saying something makes you feel really bad? Lexi: Worse than saying it? Cassie: Yeah. Lexi: Well, then, I don't think you have any other option. Cassie: I'm pregnant. McKay: What? Are you for real that you're a hundred percent pregnant? Cassie: Yeah. McKay: I... I'm sorry, uh... Are you alright? Cassie: Yeah, I'm... I'm just a little bit nervous. McKay: Nervous about what? Cassie: About what you're gonna say. McKay: You're not really thinking about having this kid, are you? Cassie: I really love you, McKay. McKay: Yeah, I love you, too, but I'm doing a lot of shit right now. I'm in the middle of school right now. It's a big fuckin' responsibility, Cassie. Cassie: What if this is what I'm supposed to do with my life? McKay: What the fuck? My parents are gonna kill me. My coach is gonna kill me. My parents are gonna fucking kill me. Fuck. Cass, I don't even think you wanna have this baby, okay? It's not a... It's not a fuckin' fairy tale. Like... It may seem all cute and cuddly to you, but this is real shit. I'm not even ready to be a dad. I don't know if that's selfish to say or whatever, but... children are fuckin' scary. You wanted to talk about it, so here we are. We're talking about it. But I say we don't do it. Cassie: I'm not saying I'm gonna have a baby. I just wanted to dream about it for a minute. McKay: You'll make the best mother on the planet one day. I say that without a doubt.[Fez sees Nate and Maddy park near his and Ashtray's convenience store. Nate gets out of his truck.] Maddy: Can you get me a mango La Croix? And those cherry rolling papers? Nate: Anything else?[Maddy shakes her head. Fez watches Nate walk around the store through his reflection on a security mirror]Nate: Hello, Fez. Fezco: What's up, man? Nate: Yo, can I get two of the rolling papers, too, bro? Fezco: Yo, man. I don't know what's been goin' on with you, Rue, and Jules and shit... but you should know, I really do care about her. Nate: ...Aren't you, like, her drug dealer? Fezco: Nah, man. Nate: What, are you in a relationship? Fezco: Nah, bruh. That's like my family. Nate: So it's platonic. Fezco: Look, man. All I'm sayin' is, leave her and her friends alone. Nate: Is that a threat? Fezco: Nah, I'm just tellin' you. Nate: Or what? Fezco: We're not gonna be havin' this conversation. Nate: [beat] Fezco, let's get this straight. You're, like, half a retard. You dropped out of school at 20, and now... you're a gangster. What are you, like, fucking Tony Montana? What's the plan, hmm? You gonna be living in a mansion, fucking pet tigers and shit? [chuckles and smiles] Go fuck yourself. Fezco: Listen, bruh. All I'm sayin', you keep fuckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'mma kill you. [pause] It's gonna be $5.75, playboy. Rue: [V.O.] Okay, this is gonna sound sick, because I'm actually in a lot of pain right now–due to the sheer weight and strain on my bladder–but man, does this make me miss opiates. Because your bladder is trained from a very early age not to pee whenever it wants to. It needs permission from your brain. And when you're really high, your brain gets a little... lazy. Too lazy to say something....Rue: [V.O.] An adult bladder can hold two cups of urine. But if you're telling your bladder to hold off because, say, you're in the worst depression of your fucking life, your bladder will eventually fill. And what begins to happen is... all of the toxins that your kidneys have pushed into your bladder begin to travel back into your kidneys. I know what you're thinking: "Rue, this is insane. Don't get a kidney infection. Walk to the bathroom." Trust me, I'm thinking the same fucking thing.[Jules has a hallucination of Nate while dancing at a nightclub with Anna]Jules: What are you doing here? Nate: You texted me. Jules: I did? Nate: Did you not want me to come? Are you here alone?[Jules tries to get away from Nate, but he follows her]Nate: No, no, no, no, no. Jules: [pause; turns around to face Nate] I'm scared of you, Nate. Nate: I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you. You... You were the most beautiful person that I've ever known. I'm Tyler. I'm the person that you fell in love with.[Jules screams at Nate and pins him against a wall]Jules: I wanna kill you. Nate: I'm yours. I'm all yours.[Jules hallucinates kissing and slapping Nate while she and Anna make out on the dance floor]Jules: [to Nate] You're a pussy. You're a bitch. And I wish the whole fucking world could know. And Salt the Earth Behind You [1.08] Rue: [V.O.] They put me on Cipro, which is the antibiotic they give to people that are exposed to anthrax, started me on Lexapro, which is one of the few antidepressants that doesn't make me crazier. And kept me there for three days. It was actually really nice. I love hospitals. If I could spend the rest of my life in a hospital, I would. Because when you're in a hospital, you have zero responsibilities. They make sure you eat, sleep, stay hydrated, and if anything bad happens, there's always a doctor nearby. It's also the best place to be in the event of a mass shooting, unless the gunman kills all the surgeons. The point is, I had zero anxiety. Jules: Did all this happen because I left? Rue: No. Jules: You promise? Rue: Yeah, I promise. I've felt like this my whole life, Jules. Not all the time, but sometimes. You make it better, though. Jules: I'm sorry. Rue: For what? Jules: For not telling you the truth. Rue: [V.O.] For everyone who was calling me manic, I was, like, 92 percent correct. But something was different about Jules. Jules: Rue, you look fucking amazing. Rue: Jules, I am deeply uncomfortable right now. Jules: Listen, you look hot. And the fact that you usually dress like Seth Rogen, although you make it cute sometimes, like, it crushes my soul. Rue: I don't dress like Seth Rogen. Jules: When was the last time you didn't wear a hoodie and sweatpants? Rue: I don't know, like... now. Cassie: What if these are, like, the big moments in life? Like, my mom always talks about how high school was like this big, monumental part of her life. But I cannot imagine being 40 and looking back at this, like, "Wow." Maddy: Yeah, but that's because most people peak in high school. Kat: I definitely haven't peaked, so... Lexi: I feel like I'm not even a person yet. Cassie: Yeah, I'm definitely at, like, 25 percent peakness. Jules: I feel like I'm at a hundred. But I can definitely get to 150. Rue: Honestly, I never thought I'd make it this far. Cassie: What do you mean? Rue: I don't know. I just always had, like, this overwhelming anxiety that something bad would happen. Maddy: In all fairness, last summer, there were, like, three weeks where I thought you were dead. Jules: Okay, but she's been sober for, like, three months. Maddy: [to Rue] Weren't you in rehab, like, six months ago? Rue: Uh, yeah. [chuckles][In a flashback, Nate fails to get an erection when he and Maddy get intimate]Maddy: Are you, like, not hard? Nate: Not yet. Fuck. Maddy: It... It doesn't really feel like you're hard. Nate: I am. I'm... I am hard. Maddy: Nate, this isn't something you just, like, lie about. Nate: Maddy, I just got a lot of shit on my mind, okay? Maddy: Like right now? Like, during sex? Nate: Maddy, stop. Maddy: Stop what? Nate: Talking. Stop talking. Fuck. Maddy: Okay, I'm officially turned off. Just get off me.[Nate gets out of bed and puts on his boxers]Nate: Why the fuck are we even having sex? Maddy: We weren't. Nate: You know what your fucking problem is? You can't keep your fucking mouth shut. Maddy: Yeah, and you can't keep your dick hard. Nate: Maybe the reason I can't keep my dick hard is because everyone at school is spreading these fucking rumors about me. Maddy: They're not rumors; they're facts. You literally had, like, 40 different guys' dicks in your phone. Nate: I told you not to fucking tell anyone. Maddy: Yeah, well, I told people before you told me not to tell anyone. Nate: Yeah, but you told them out of fucking context. Maddy: Really? What is the context? Nate: I'd tell you, but I don't even fucking trust you anymore. Maddy: Kind of like how you fuck me, but you're not hard anymore?[Nate suddenly stands up, gets back into bed and grabs Maddy's face]Nate: Huh? Keep talking. Come on, keep fucking talking. Keep talking, huh?![Maddy starts crying once Nate lets go of her]Maddy: [pause] Look, Nate, I don't mind if you're into guys. Nate: I'm not into fucking guys, Maddy. Maddy: Sexuality is a spectrum. Nate: The fuck? What the fuck are you talking about? Maddy: It's not like anyone's one hundred percent straight or one hundred percent gay. Nate: Oh, that is one hundred percent bullshit.[Nate walks out of his bedroom and shuts the door on Maddy]Ethan: Kat, I liked you since I sat down next to you. You know, and I know that you think there's, like, zero chance that we're gonna be together forever, and, uh... I don't know. I guess, we're both juniors, so you're probably right about that. You know, I mean, like, is one of us gonna get hurt? Yeah. Probably. But I'll do my best to make sure that it's me.[Rue sees Nate standing outside the auditorium and walks up next to him]Rue: Why do I feel like you're the reason Fez's house got raided? Nate: You know, sometimes when you do illegal shit... bad things happen to you. Rue: You've never done anything illegal, Nate? Nate: You talking about your friend Jules? Rue: No, actually, I'm talking about your dad. Nate: [beat; looks at Rue] I just wanna make sure you've given it some forethought. I know over the years you've lost some brain cells. I wouldn't want you to say something you might regret. Rue: What are you gonna do? You gonna ruin my life? I fucking promise you I can do that a lot better than you can. Nate: What do you want, Rue? Rue: I want you to leave Fez alone. I want you to leave Jules alone. If you ever fuck with them again, I'll destroy your life. I'll destroy your dad's life. I'll fucking burn your whole shit to the ground. 'Cause I personally have no problem walking into any police station and telling them that Nate Jacobs' daddy... likes to fuck little kids. Nate: ...You look very pretty today. Are you sure that Jules told you everything? You know what I like about her? She has these very real dreams, and I seriously think that she's gonna achieve them. If you look at everyone inside, most of them are gonna go on to live these lives that aren't even fucking worth mentioning. Not Jules. What about you? Rue: Honestly, I don't really give a fuck. Nate: Yeah, I gathered that. That's probably why you're spending all your time with someone who's gonna leave you and won't even remember who the fuck you are in ten years. [pause] I really meant what I said. You, uh... You look really beautiful. Cal: [enters to see Nate embarrassed] You may have won the game, but you lost control of the team. And in the long run. if you don't lead, you're gonna lose. [sighs] You need to take a step back, Nate. I said take a step back. [starts attacking Nate, getting into fight with him]Nate: GET THE FUCK OFF ME! GET THE–GET THE FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!! GET THE FUCK OFF!!! GET THE FUCK OFF!!Cal: Stop fighting! Stop fighting!Nate: FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!!!Cal: You need to stop! You had enough?! Keep fighting!Nate: GET OFF!!!!! MOTHERFUC–Cal: [pins Nate down, furiously screams in his face] DO YOU WANT TO KEEP FIGHTING?!?! HUH?!?! You think you're tough now, huh?! Come on, Nate! [Nate starts crying from his dad's furious outburst, then starts screaming and crying and throwing his temper tantrum, which scares Cal into leaving his room]Rue: I fucking hate this town.Jules: If I could, I'd burn it to the fucking ground.Rue: And salt the earth behind you. [beat] Jules, are you in love with Anna?Jules: [pause; nods] Yeah.Rue: Are you, um... Are you in love with me?Jules: ... [nods again] Yeah.Rue: Do you wish I was different? [pause; Jules shakes her head] Let's get the fuck out of here. Come on. [Rue and Jules leave the auditorium steps and ride their bikes to Jules' house. They walk upstairs to Jules' bedroom and start packing their belongings.]Rue: Jules... Is this a bad idea?Jules: [gets up] No. [Jules kisses Rue, then resumes packing her duffel bag]Rue: [beat; quietly] What the fuck? [Later, Rue starts having seconds about leaving town just as she and Jules are about to board a train]Rue: Jules, I just realized that I didn't bring my medication.Jules: We can get medication, like, everywhere.Rue: Yeah, but I don't think it's–You know, I can't miss a day, you know?Jules: Rue, we'll figure it out. I promise.Rue: [beat] Jules, I don't–I don't think this is a good idea.Jules: Rue, it was your idea.Rue: I–I know it was my idea, but I just... I don't think it's a good idea anymore is what I'm trying to tell you.Jules: It was a fucking great idea. I don't know what you're talking about.Rue: Can you–Can you slow down? 'Cause I'm thinking, you know, my mom. I don't want her to fucking freak out, alright? I don't want–Jules: Rue, it's not that far, and, like... [chuckling] We're good. It's... You can–We can call.Rue: Okay, what am I gotta tell Gia, though, you know? Like, she's gonna wake up in the fucking morning. She's gonna think I'm missing. [Jules, still holding Rue's hand, gets on the train]Jules: We're good. Come on. It's gonna be amazing. [pause; Rue looks wistfully at her] Rue! [Jules laughs, but notices Rue is on the verge of tears. She realizes that Rue truly doesn't want to run away with her anymore.]Jules''': Come on. [whispering, as Rue cries] Please. I love you.[Rue stays behind, even after Jules kisses her hand in one last attempt to convince Rue to join her. Rue solemnly watches the train leave the station.]'' Category:Euphoria (American TV series) seasons