You Only Live Twice (film)

thumb| Oh the things I do for England. You Only Live Twice is a 1967 film, the the fifth film in the James Bond series, about Agent 007 and the Japanese secret service ninja force who must find and stop the true culprit of a series of spacejackings before nuclear war is provoked. Directed by Lewis Gilbert. Written by Roald Dahl, based on the novel by Ian Fleming. Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond.taglines James Bond [about to make love to Helga Brandt] Oh the things I do for England. [Coded message to headquarters after being waylaid by attack helicopters] Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honour with great success. [after bond throws Hans into a piranha tank] Bon appetit. Dialogue [James is in bed with Ling, a Chinese woman] Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls? Ling: You think we better, huh? Bond: No, just different. Like Peking duck is different from Russian caviar. But I love them both. Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck. Moneypenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl? Bond: [turns the lamp towards her, interrogation style] Which girl? Moneypenny: The... uh... Chinese one we set you up with? Bond: Another few minutes and I would have found out. [After Dikko Henderson gives Bond a vodka martini] Henderson: Oh, that's uh, stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it? Bond: Perfect. Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger. Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me? Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you. Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way. [Bond is in a hot tub with Tiger Tanaka and four beautiful Japanese girls.] Tiger Tanaka: Rule number one: Never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you. Bond: And number two? Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: In Japan, men always come first, women come second. Bond: Really? I might just retire to here. [A car chasing Aki and Bond gets picked up by Tanaka's helicopter and gets dropped into the ocean.] Tiger Tanaka: How is that for Japanese efficiency? Bond: Just a drop in the ocean. [Tiger is showing Bond a shooting cigarette.] Tiger: It can save your life, this cigarette. Bond: You sound like a commercial. [Blofeld has summoned Osato and Helga Brandt to his office] Blofeld: An unknown Englishman was in your office the other day. Mr. Osato: Correct, Number One. Blofeld: [shows them an X-ray image of a pistol] Do you know what gun this is? Mr. Osato: [smugly] Walther PPK. Blofeld: Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond. Mr. Osato: [startled] But Bond is dead! Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers! Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive, unless you killed him, Mr. Osato? Don't tell me you let him go. Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him! Blofeld: And did she? Mr. Osato: She failed! Helga Brandt: [to Osato] You should have killed him yourself! You had plenty of opportunity! Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure. [moves his foot over a pedal] Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see, I... Blofeld: GO! [sees Osato cross a bridge and leave the room, heading to the staircase back to the control room; to Helga] Well? [Helga starts to cross the bridge. No sooner is she on it that Blofeld hits the pedal, causing the bridge bottom to drop out, sending her into the piranha-filled water] Helga: Aaaah! Osato! NEIIIIIIIIIIIIN!...[disappears from sight as piranhas kill her, much to the shock of Osato and two Chinese emissaries] Blofeld: [addressing Osato as the bridge closes back up] Kill Bond! Now! Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes. [quickly goes up the staircase] [Blofeld has an astronaut that just tried to infiltrate SPECTRE's Bird One rocket brought to him at the command center] SPECTRE Number 3: A new update on target vehicle has been received from computers. We now have T-minus seven minutes and counting. Blofeld: You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule, carrying his air conditioner. Remove his helmet! [A guard removes the astronaut's helmet, and Blofeld is surprised who the person is; Osato tries to avoid the astronaut's eyes] James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. [Leans forward so his head is visible from behind Hans] I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong. Bond: Yes, this is my second life. Blofeld: [Pushes Hans out of the way] You only live twice, Mr. Bond. SPECTRE Number 4: Target vehicle passing over central Russia. Approaching Mongolia. Track is as predicted. All computers... Blofeld: [Drowns out SPECTRE Number 4] As you see, I am about to inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours, when America and Russia have annihilated each other, we shall see a new power dominating the world. Scientist: Target vehicle on scope. Blofeld: [To scientist] Recheck on target vehicle. [To guards] Remove his suit, and search him! SPECTRE Number 3: Reserve astronaut, ready on Bird One. Taglines Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond. You Only Live Twice...and "TWICE" is the only way to live! Cast Sean Connery - James Bond Akiko Wakabayashi - Aki Mie Hama - Kissy Suzuki Tetsuro Tamba - Tiger Tanaka Teru Shimada - Mr. Osato Karin Dor - Helga Brandt Donald Pleasence - Ernst Stavro Blofeld Bernard Lee - M Lois Maxwell - Miss Moneypenny Desmond Llewelyn - Q External links You Only Live Twice (film) 0062512 You Only Live Twice you_only_live_twice You Only Live Twice Category:1967 films Category:Action films Category:British films Category:Films based on novels Category:James Bond 007 Category:Films about nuclear war and weapons Category:Martial arts films Category:Screenplays by Roald Dahl Category:Films about terrorism Category:Films directed by Lewis Gilbert