Ali G Indahouse

Ali G Indahouse is a 2002 comedy film about Sacha Baron Cohen's character Ali G and how he is recruited to be a minister for Staines, his home district in London. But then he learns the government is much more sinister. Cleaning Da Filth From Da PM's Hood(taglines) Ali G [repeated line] Keep it real! [everyone's angry in UN] You know why they're so worked up in there? It's because they haven't had their tea yet! Come on! Respect! Prime Minister Ali, come on, World War Three's breaking out, you need to do something! What's he doing? We're going to demolish Slough instead. David Carlton I think we should "keep it real." [to Ali] You know, you are unbelievably stupid. Now, I am going to shoot you! (after Ali G and his gang break into Downing Street) This is a terrorist attack, shoot on sight! Dialogue Ali G: Jezzy, is you wearing green? I knew it - you is defected to the Iver Heath posse, innit? Come on, let's stab him! Jezzy: No no, wait! My mum, yeah, she put my yellow top in the wash with my brother's blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast. Ali G: Alright. But you can tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life! David Carlton: Ali, have you ever considered becoming a member of Parliament? Ali G: What me wanna do that for? It's full of pricks! David Carlton: That's a little harsh. I'm an MP, am I a prick? Ali G: (non-chalantly) Yes. David Carlton: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job? Ali G: Unfortunately, I is recently gone on the dole... David Carlton: Really? When? Ali G: Eight years and three months ago. David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...? Ali G: Yes, I is actually spasticated. I is got a terrible DJ-ing injury. I still ain't got full mobility in me main mixing finger. (Starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain and stops. Ali notices Carlton's sexy secretary watching, so he points at his crotch.) Ali G: Everything down here's still working though... oh yes! David Carlton: (Reading a speech Ali wrote) As of twelve o'clock all Rizlas will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as itchy scrot. Furthermore, I am a bell-end... Ali G: HAHAHAHAHA, HAHA! David Carlton: Look, Prime Minister, I really can't be expected to... Prime Minister: Go on now, David! David Carlton: (reluctantly) I like to take it up the batty. Yes, I do. It feel very nice, and is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks. Honest. Ask my mum! (Ali gets up from his seat and slowly walks down the aisle as all ministers argue) Minister: Will the member for Staines return to his seat!?! (the Prime Minister notices) Prime Minister: What's he doing? David Carlton: Uh, I don't know, Prime Minister. (Ali walks up to the shouting minister and calmly puts his finger on his lips to shush him) Ali G: Look at you all! All you ever do all day long is cuss each other! R-E-S-T-E-C-P. Do you have any idea what that spells? Minister: Restecp? Ali G: (confused) Yes. Restecp. Prime Minister: Restecp? Ali G: How can you all not be restecp-ing each other, when you doesn't restecp each other in here? Minister: Sergeant, eject this gentleman! Ali G: (hurriedly) You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: "Keep it real!" Minister: (thinking quick) That's three words! Ali G: Don't be a spannah — "It" ain't a real word — it's short for "innit", innit? Keep it real! Keep it real! Minister: The member for Staines will be banned from the House! Ali G: Is it because I is black? (During a government speech) Ali G: I put it to you that you sucked off an ‘orse. Candidate: I did not, “suck off a horse”. I have already been over this with the Party Chairman — I was out, hunting, with a friend, and I slipped, and fell onto the end of a horse's phallus, which, owing to it being the mating season, was... aroused. (Ali G has just passed a new law allowing only "fit" refugees into Britain. Several women from Slovenia are passing through arrivals). Guard: Fit. (women smile awkwardly) Fit. Fit. Fit. Wait... (he checks this woman's passport) Back to Slovenia. (all of Ali G's gang and his rival gang are forming a human chain outside Downing Street) Ali G: Switch on the engine, pass it on! Gang member: Switch on the engine, pass it on! (all members whisper down the line to each other til it comes to the last member) Final member: Bitch on the pension, suck my dong! Driver: (confused) What? Should I turn the engine on? Taglines Cleaning Da Filth From Da PM's Hood Vote Ali G Tax Da Panty Me Iz Introducin’ A White Paper Blair Beware Guess Who's In Da House? Cast Sacha Baron Cohen as Alistair Leslie Graham "Ali G" /Borat Sagdiyev Michael Gambon - Prime Minister Charles Dance - Deputy Prime Minister David Carlton Kellie Knight - Julie Martin Freeman - Richard "Ricky C" Cunningham Rohan Mitra - Kate Hedges Barbara New - Nan Ray Panthaki - Hassan B Emilio Rivera - Rico Paul Clayton - Alan Swan Lake Olegar Fedoro - Russian Minister Tony Way - Not-Dangerous Dave Daniele Lavender - Maid (as Daniella Lavender) Capri Ashby - Nurse Nina John Scott Martin - Mr. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson External Links 0284837 Ali G Indahouse Category:2002 films Category:British films Category:Comedy films Category:German films Category:Stoner films