Free Samples

Free Samples is a 2012 American independent comedy film about a Stanford law-school dropout Jillian who runs an ice cream truck giving out sample to the locals clashing over basic ideals. Directed by Jay Gammill and written by Jim Beggarly. Ever have one of those years? Jillian If I peed on your couch, I would pay someone to come in and steal all of your furniture. I would rather burn down your whole apartment building than tell you... "Hey, Nancy, I peed on your couch last night." Should've been nicer. You don't trust me? Betty One life is enough for anyone. But there are so many lives within that life. There was a time in my life when it was just a joy to wake up every morning and run to the mirror. Tex You were way too drunk. There are rules. I think you'll find people will do a lot of things for you. If you ever just want to put down the beer bottle and let them. Mr. Hightower You food truck people think you're so cool. You're not. I can get ice cream at the grocery store. Wally I am going to wait on a customer with no pants on. Tell me that isn't the coolest thing ever. Dialogue Jillian: Here's the note. Nancy: Oh. It's probably from Wally. I made him sleep on the couch. [Reading] Nancy: "Hey, Nancy! Sorry, but I peed on your couch. I'm leaving you $20. Wally." Jillian: Are you house-trained yet? Wally: I know. That was pretty bad. Is Nancy really mad? Jillian: You urinated on her couch. Wally: I know! Jillian: She's not pleased. Man: You're giving out free samples today only? Jillian: Yes. A cup of either ice cream or an ice cream like substance in either chocolate or vanilla. Man: Who's Mike? Jillian: I don't know. But I suspect he dreams of ice cream or ice cream like substance. Boy: You know, you're like the first person around her who hasn't remarked on us being identical twins. Jillian: Well, I was going to but to be honest, I'm hung-over and I just wasn't entirely sure if I was seeing two people or not. You're twins. Jillian: Yes, and just a drop of milk. You know what, no milk. Just take the cup and say "Moo" over top of it. Hippie woman: Moo-moo-moo! Jillian: Okay. That's very good but save it for when it counts. Hippie woman: How am I supposed to buy you the coffee? Jillian: Crazy, I don't know if you noticed but I just gave you $5. Hippie woman: But you didn't give me money for the actual coffee. I don't know you well enough to go and buy you a coffee. We're not friends like that. Jillian: You know what, I have one friend. [Points to truck] That's how I got trapped in that stupid truck. So look, I'm certainly not looking for another. Let's review. I gave you $5 to go away. Now that $5 is yours to keep no matter what. You put that straight into your IRA. This new $5 that is to go buy my coffee. When you return, with the coffee, I'm going to give you your $5. Hippie woman: Do I get to keep the change? Jillian: No. Hippie woman: Yeah. Why not? Jillian: Because I said so, and I'm too mean to ever change my mind! [Hippie woman makes a suggestive face] What are you, trying to seduce...? I don't understand. Just go and get coffee! Hippie woman: You're a believer aren't you? You believe? Jillian: Oh, God. You know what? No. I think I can honestly say I'm just not a believer. Oh, God. I can't believe I got you to go away. Then I actually asked you to come back. Okay, okay. Hey, hey! You can do it! One coffee! One real sugar. Only you can save my life. Go. Woman: Aren't you hot in there? Jillian: Nope. They say people are descendants from apes but I think my family is descended from reptiles. They're all cold-blooded lawyers. Woman: Oh, well I uh- Jillian: What? Woman: I don't- My family doesn't believe in evolution. Darwin and all that. [Walks away] Jillian: Okay. Next. Hi. Chocolate or vanilla? Joel: Um, I want both. Jillian: You can't have both. You have to pick one. Joel: You can give me both if you wanted to. Jillian: Yeah, but we live in a polite society. There are rules. There are lots of things I'd like to do that I'm not allowed. Joel: Like what? Jillian: I don't know- I'd like to walk around naked for an entire year. I'd like to sleep in a tent on a beach in Malibu. Kill a few people. Quite a few, actually. Joel: I'll have two cups of the chocolate. Jillian: Well, you can have chocolate. Just one cup. Joel: But the other girl always gives me two cups! Jillian: She's not here. Joel: Well, the other girl's a lot prettier than you are. Jillian: Alright! First of all, you're seeing me with a hangover- no make-up! Secondly- I'm also a great deal more flexible than the girl who's usually here. Joel: So, what? Jillian: Well, you'll find out why it's important and people pee on that girls couch. Joel's mother: [Approaches] Joel! Joel: What? Joel's mother: I thought I told you to wait for me by the car. Why are you eating this junk? [Takes ice cream from Joel] Joel: I just had one bite. Joel's mother: [To Jillian] Shouldn't you check with the mother before you give ice cream to a child? Jillian: I usually do. But- Joel said that you were dying in a hospital. He was so sad. I couldn't resist. Joel's mother: Joel! Joel: I didn't say that! She said she wanted to kill people! Jillian: No! We were discussing civil liberties! He's clearly taking that statement totally out of context. Joel's mother: [Growls] Come with me, right now! [Joel walks away with his mother and then turns and gives the finger to Jillian] Man: Do you have any stamps? Jillian: No. Man: Are you sure? Jillian: Am I sure? Yeah. I'm sorry, what kind of question is that? What? You obviously think I work in some kind of postal truck. Do you think that I would work in a postal truck and not realize that I sold stamps. Sometimes a deli will sell stamps. Do you want mustard with your ham sandwich? Man: What's wrong with you? Jillian: I got kidnapped this morning and I'm being forced to wear a t-shirt that makes it pretty obvious that I need to get fake breasts, before people start calling me sir, and I haven't had any coffee. Man: I think your shirt looks nice. External links 1793223 Free Samples free_samples Free Samples Category:2012 films Category:2010s American films Category:American films Category:Films set in Los Angeles Category:Films set in California