Futurama: Bender's Big Score

thumb|Hasta La vista, meatbag! Futurama: Bender's Big Score is a 2007 straight-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series. Directed by Dwayne-Carey Hill. Written by Ken Keeler, based on a story by Keeler and David X. Cohen. Dialogue Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see… [hangs up phone] Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. [The crew cheers] And not just fired, but beaten up, too…and pretty badly. [The crew cheers doubtfully] In fact, most of them died from their injuries. [The crew remains silent. Bender laughs] And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. Fry: Why? Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses. [Pours some down his pants] Ah, that soothes the fire. Hermes: What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? Bender: Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. [Fry has just reappeared in the 31st Century, after Bender apparently killed him in 2012.] Bender: Fry! You're not dead! Unless... [Bender punches Fry in the stomach.] Bender: No, he's not a zombie. But I don't want people to think I'm incompetent, so I'd better kill you just to be sure. [Bender pulls out a croquet mallet, and prepares to swing it at Fry. The Professor pulls it out of his hands.] Professor Farnsworth: Bender! Stop killing for a minute! [Nudar is threatening Scruffy with a gun.] Nudar: [to Bender] You! Read the code or I'll shoot this guy! Bender: Who the hell is he? Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor. Bender: Hang on, Scruffy! Leela: What is the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? Fry: It was bound to be somewhere. Nibbler: Alas, our Kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed, doomed! Fry: Can I pull up my pants now? Nibbler: Doomed! [Bender shows up with the incomplete Mona Lisa from the past.] Bender: Sorry, it's not quite finished. Schlump: Da Vinci give you any trouble? Bender: Let's just say he might not make it to The Last Supper. Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible! Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself remember? When we went back to Roswell? Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that; plus, who are you anyway? [Hermes has discovered that his head was attached backwards.] Hermes: You incompetent crab! Dr. Zoidberg: I thought you were happy, your tail was wagging. Amy: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender. Bender: I don't blame myself, I blame all of you! Amy: Us? How can you possibly blame us!? Bender: It ain't easy, it just proves how great I am. Bender: [shivering] It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency. Leela: What are you, a whining machine? Fry: I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? Leela: Well, for one thing his checkbook doesn't have The Hulk on it. Leela: I can't command this many ships. Hermes: Perhaps I can help. Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battlegrid? Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the Professor! Hermes: Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action! Fry: It's foolproof! They can't sign the marriage license if I give them a pen with NO INK! Bender: [sarcastic] Yeah, 'cause once they try to sign the license, all hell'll break loose. [Bender turns away and mutters] Oy vey. [The scammers are threatening the planet express crew with Professor Farnsworth's Sphero-Boom] Nudar: So what'll it be, unconditional surrender - Leela: Never! Nudar: - Or total destruction? Leela: Also never! Nudar: You have thirty seconds - make up your minds! Leela: NEVER! [Leela is shouting orders during the battle to reclaim Earth] Leela: Unit 10 - Target H, 16K - niner, niner! Go left - I mean right! Sal: Whoas! Leela: 55U, 8R, 2P! Professor Farnsworth: [Speaking to Hattie McDoogal] BINGO! [Nibbler attempts to stop the scammers from using the time code.] Nibbler: Stop, you fool! Leela: Nibbler, you can talk?! Nibbler: I can do more than talk; I can pontificate! Lars: Hello, everyone who isn't Leela! And a special hello to everyone else! Hermes: Shut your lockers and get to class! Fry: Can you save Hermes "Doctor Good and Sexy?" Dr. Cahill: I told you my name is Doctor Cahill. Hermes: Figures I had to get mingled while the blonde bimbo is on duty. Dr. Cahill: I am a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I am blonde and have a breathy voice, full, sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. Dr. Zoidberg: Tell me about it. Hermes: I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes while my head's slowly dying because I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! Dr. Cahill: Oh. Right. Ditzy Witzy! [Professor Farnsworth is considering selling some of his doomsday devices to Hedonismbot] Professor Farnsworth: Ooh, be careful! Hedonismbot: I shan't touch them 'till I've had Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ooh, what does this one do? [Hedonismbot grabs one of the doomsday devices] Professor Farnsworth: Uh, that one kills everything everywhere. Hedonismbot: Delightful! [Hedonismbot accidentally knocks the device from the shelf.] And this one? Professor Farnsworth: Sir, the Sphero-Boom is not for sale, it's my sentimental favorite. Hedonismbot: No need to explain, I too have known unconventional love. Marine Biologist: Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time... [Fry is recounting how he survived his trip to the past.] Fry: Oh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began went I went back in time. Professor Farnsworth: Duh! [Nudar is ordering Bender to kill Fry] Nudar: You know what to do. Bender: You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator? Nudar: Yes, and don't forget to terminate him. [Nudar is telling Bender how to steal the Sphero-Boom from the professor.] Nudar: You'll need jeweller's tools and foot cup silencers. Bender: Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do! Nudar: Hey, that's perfect! We sit back and let Dumb-Dumb here do the stealing! Bender: Dumb-Dumb away! Professor Farnsworth: If Hermes were here, he’d fire you all! Hermes’ head: I am here! Professor Farnsworth: Quiet you. In his absence, I’m calling a mandatory company security seminar. To the mandatorium! Nudar: Faster, faster! Professor Farnsworth: I’m sciencing as fast as I can Lars: I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot! Nudar: [pointing his gun at Leela] Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love? Leela: Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! Lars: [crying] I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. Fry: Ah, my hair! Lars: Ah, my larynx! Bender: [last lines] Well, I should have known, we're boned! See also Futurama Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs Futurama: Bender's Game Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder External links 0471711 Bender's Big Score Category:2007 American animated films Category:2007 American adult animated films Category:Films directed by Dwayne Carey-Hill Category:Traditionally animated films Category:American adult animated action films Category:American adult animated space adventure films Category:American adult animated science fiction films Category:American adult animated comedy films Category:Animated satirical films‎ Category:Direct-to-video animated films Category:Futurama films Category:Films based on adult animated television series‎ Category:Animated films about time travel Category:Hanukkah films Category:2007 English-language films Category:Films set in the 2000s