Holidate

Holidate is a 2020 American romantic comedy film about a Chicago workaholic Sloane Benson who hates the holidays due to familial judgement over being single so she proposes an Australian golfer, Jackson to pretend to be her boyfriend only to actually become one. Directed by John Whitesell and written by Tiffany Paulsen. Who's your perfect plus-one? Sloane [smoking outside on porch] Fucking holidays. [stubs out cigarette on a Christmas decoration Santa] [in an elevator with Jackson] Just rip it. Okay, just, just... You know? Just-just rip it. Just... just rip it. Just... just... RIP MY FUCKING PANTS OFF! [doors open] [to Jackson, holding ice pack after being injured in disastrous dance stunt] Nobody drops Baby on her head. Jackson You had me at Lester. York Aunt Sloane, life if giving you a moment. Don't fuck it up. Dialogue Elaine: Oh, well, I know the holidays can be stressful, but no man wants to marry a smoker... who lies. Sloane: Well, no man wants a bitchy mother-in-law, so I guess that's three strikes. [Sloane sits at the kids dinner table to avoid annoying adult inquiries, yet]Daisy: So, Aunt Sloane, why DIDN'T you call Rodney?Sloane: Why didn't YOU call Rodney?Daisy: Because I already have a boyfriend. His name is Levi, and he shares his juice box with me every day at recess.Sloane: Well, good for you, Daisy. You enjoy it while you can, 'cause one day you are gonna walk outside and you're gonna catch Levi sharing his juice box with a Starbucks barista named Rainbow. Yeah. Not a good day, Daisy. It hurts. It hardens you. And the next thing you know, you're just south of thirty sitting at the kids table numbing the pain with a vodka.Jackson: [at a nightclub] By the way, your tits look exceptional in that dress.Sloane: Thanks. That's why I bought it. [twirls around]Jackson: Oh, love the way it hugs your ass, too.Sloane: [pats him on shoulder] That's really sweet of you to notice.Jackson: This is great. I love it. I can just say whatever I want 'cause I don't care if you think I'm a classy guy or not.Sloane: And I can wear a slutty dress and not worry about being slut-shamed.Jackson: What a holidate bonus.Sloane: Hmm. [they do high-five]Liz: What do you mean, you don't have a date for Valentine's day?ǃSloane: Don't say it like I just told you I have cancer.Liz: But it's Valentine's dayǃSloane: No, it's Thursday. And I'm gonna take a long, hot bath, pop a bottle of Pinot, treat myself to a few pounds of chocolate, and who knows, maybe even watch a little porn.Liz: [whispers] You can't watch porn on Valentine's Day.Sloane: You should especially watch porn on Valentine's day.Sloane: When did Halloween go from dressing up like a princess to dressing up like a whore?Abby: Oh, I dunno, like, sixth grade?Daisy: What's a whore?Abby: Um, somebody who gets paid to play with boys.Violet: I wanna be a whore.Daisy: Me, too.Abby: Okay, but just remember that the house gets fifty per cent.Jackson: Bye, Felicia!Felicity: It's Felicity.Jackson: Our hands touched.Neil: Holy shit. D'use protection?Jackson: [awaking from a night of drinking] So I guess we might have...Sloane: [also awaking from a night of drinking] No, we didn't. [stands up]Jackson: You're wearing my underwear.Sloane: [looks down and gasps] Well, that doesn't... mean anything. I... probably got cold in the night... after my... panties fell... off. [he spies panties, grabs them, and ducks behind a tall-backed chair to change]Jackson: Ah, come on. You must be able to tell somehow.Sloane: Tell how?Jackson: I don't know. I don't have a vagina.Sloane: Well, there's no forensic evidence, nothing's dried on my leg. There's no... wrapper on the floor, if that's what you're wondering. [throws his underwear at him]Jackson: Okay.Sloane: Can't YOU tell?Jackson: [takes a look at himself under the blanket] I mean, he looks a little tired, but... I don't think he's really satisfied.Sloane: I'm telling you we didn't do it. One of us would for sure be able to tell.Jackson: Sweet. Let's go with that.Elaine: I want you to find someone who has real potential, not this holidate crap like your aunt.Sloane: She seems like she's having fun.Elaine: She's gonna die alone in a wheelchair and a diaper. Is that what you want?Sloane: Do I get a male nurse?Jackson: [referring to pretzels] I don't eat that crap. Do you know what that does to your body?Sloane: Yeah. It fills me with warm, delicious happiness. Like Christmas used to, before I realized Santa was a big scam.Jackson: Yeah. Christmas peaked for me at about ten. I got a surfboard and my first complete set of golf clubs.Sloane: Hmm.Jackson: It was good.Sloane: My best Christmas... was a Barbie Dream House, preassembled, and a ventriloquist puppet named Lester. He looked like :Jaleel White. Jackson: Hmm? Sloane: I sort of had a thing for Urkel. I spent months learning to throw my voice. Jackson: Well, come on, let's hear it. Sloane: No. Jackson: Excuse me. I bought you a free pretzel. So, you owe me an Urkel. Come on. Come on. Sloane: [clears throat then in monotone voice] Did I do that? Did I do that? Jackson: Nice. Jackson: Human beings aren't meant to be alone on the holidays. W-we actually need, you know, warmth, companionship, and someone to drunk-mock strangers with at parties. Sloane: I do enjoy drunk-mocking strangers at parties Jackson: Well, then, this is perfect. We can be each other's holidate for New Year's Eve. Sloane: [chuckles] I don't even know you. Jackson: Yeah, well, that's what makes it perfect. 'Cause there's no pressure. There's no expectations. I mean... I don't even think I find you that attractive. Sloane: Wow! Calm down with the flattery. Elaine: She doesn't need another friend. She needs a husband, a partner, someone who is legally bound to be there during the chemo. Sloane: What chemo? Elaine: Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. You have bad genes - and bald women don't really get a lot of dates. Jackson: You have nothing to worry about, okay? Sloane is a great girl - even bald. Elaine: Then why aren't you sleeping with her? Jackson: I-I don't do drugs. Sloane: And you call yourself a professional athlete? Jackson: Hey, if it's any consolation, I spent my holiday in an ugly Christmas sweater sipping mocktails with a room full of people who I think were in a cult. Sloane: I'll see your ugly Christmas sweater and raise you a seat at the kids table, my little brother getting engaged, and catching my aunt getting her cookie licked by a mall Santa. Jackson: That's a... festive visual. Sloane: Seared into my brain like a bad tattoo. Elaine: This is what you wear to Christmas dinner? Don't you even own a dress? Sloane: I'm great, Mom. Thanks. House looks... beautiful. Elaine: Well, your Aunt Susan brought at-the-mall Santa home, and, uh, your nephew just pooped in the manger. Abby: Ugh, it was a tiny poo. I mean, he moved the baby Jesus first. Sloane: Thank you. Jackson: Hmm. Sloane: I owe you. Jackson: That's better. Now, I'll take my hand job in the parking lot, thank you. Sloane: Oh, a hand job. What are you, like, twelve? Jackson: You gave hand jobs at twelve? Sloane: I developed early. Sloane: What is it about men and explosives? Aunt Susan: All about the cock. Liz: What do fireworks have to do with a man's... anatomy? Aunt Susan: It's like... jacking off. Men LIVE for the orgasm. If they're not fucking, they're dreamin' about fucking... or blowin' stuff up. Next best thing to fucking. Sloane: So, Daisy, how are things with Levi the juice box king? Daisy: We broke up. Sloane: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Daisy: It's okay. He wasn't ready for a real relationship. I need someone who's gonna put ME first. Gotta go. Sloane: [to Jackson after Daisy's exit] Wow. She is in such great shape. Cast Emma Roberts as Sloane Luke Bracey as Jackson Kristin Chenoweth as Aunt Susan Frances Fisher as Elaine Andrew Bachelor as Neil Jessica Capshaw as Abby Manish Dayal as Faarooq Alex Moffat as Peter Cynthy Wu as Liz Jake Manley as York External links 9866072 Category:Christmas comedy films Category:Films about dating Category:Films set in Chicago Category:2020 American films Category:2020 English-language films Category:American films about Halloween Category:American romantic comedy films Category:Christmas romance films Category:Easter films Category:Films directed by John Whitesell Category:Netflix original films Category:Saint Patrick's Day films